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Chapter Forty Three - Im Done

“Lily, come on we’re waiting to go” she heard Mother call impatiently from outside her open bedroom window.

Lily looked down onto the driveway; her Parents, Petunia and James were all stood there waiting for her. She caught eyes with James and looked away immediately, they hadn’t spoken much since the night of the dinner – well every time they had tried to talk she hadn’t exactly been able to string together coherent sentences. It had been easy not to speak to him too; they had both been studying in their rooms and had only seen eachother at meal times.

She sighed and grabbed her stuff; she had used a tricky charm to make sure the bag expanded to fit her camping stuff in as well as her stuff for the rest of this week. Her school books were in a separate bag and were put in the car last night without Petunia knowing otherwise she probably would’ve kicked up a fuss. She also had her owl with her and so did James but Petunia had done nothing but turn her nose up.

It was half past nine in the morning and Lily was absolutely shattered, she felt as if she could curl up in a ball and sleep, she hated getting up this early – it was not fun. Seriously didn’t they know it was practically the middle of the night to her?

She trudged slowly down the stairs and out the door; her Mother muttered something about taking her time and grabbed Lily’s bag and flinging it in the boot. Lily smiled hesitantly at James who nodded in her direction but did not say anything.

“Lily” her Mother said behind her and she turned around slightly, “You’re alright to sit in the middle, you and James, Petunia wants the back seat” her Mother said smiling slightly, their car was a seven seater for some reason.

Lily was rather hesitant about this, no of course she’d rather sit in the back on her own and just be on her own instead of having to make awkward conversation with James for the entire journey, but she smiled and nodded anyway and her Mother looked pleased – it was obvious Petunia did not want to sit anywhere near a pair of “freaks”.

Luckily the journey was not awkward at all, it appeared Lily’s tiredness got the better of her and the minute they left Cokeworth Lily seemed to drop off. Her Mother said later she wasn’t at all surprised Lily looked like she hadn’t slept in a few days.

Well of course she hadn’t when your boyfriend tells you: you need to think about a few things and practically reconsiders your relationship because of one stupid thing you sort of stop sleeping.

It was quite a long journey to Devon but she slept the whole way and finally they were there. She felt somebody’s hand shaking her shoulder lightly as the car came to a stop. She yawned slightly and opened her tired eyes and looked around.

“We’re here” James murmured. Her parents had already left the car and Petunia had climbed out the boot, they were at the back of the car pulling out the cases, Petunia was complaining and whining about something and Lily raised her eyebrows, “Um your sister found your spell books” James said smiling slightly.

Lily pulled a face, “Oh bugger, maybe I’ll go back to sleep” she said yawning slightly.

“You can’t still be tired?” James said still smiling, though it did not quite reach his eyes and his beautiful hazel eyes did not shine this time like they usually did when he smiled.

“I’m always tired” she sighed yawning again, James chuckled.

“Hey, have you-”

But her Mother knocked loudly on the window and Lily jumped, “Come on Lily, time to go both of you”

And with that the pair of them did not say another word to one another, they both jumped out of the car and grabbed their bags before following Lily’s parents into the hotel. Petunia had stomped on, her Mother had said it was merely nothing and she’d get over it, but Lily honestly did not care whether she did or not anymore.

All she could think about was what was he going to say to her? He was going to ask her if she had thought about what to do? He was going to check if they were ok? She honestly did not know and thanks to her Mother she probably wouldn’t get to know.

Lily was handed her room key and quickly made her way up towards her room, James was quite far behind her making his way towards his own. They parted ways with a see you later and that was that. Lily sighed slightly as she pushed open her bedroom door.

It was a simple room with two beds, one for her and one for Alex who would be arriving tomorrow, thank god. She really did miss her friends and in a few days Petunia’s wedding would be over and they would all be going camping and hopefully, hopefully herself and James had sorted things out by then. Hopefully.

She flung her bag down on her bed and pulled out a chair which was tucked underneath a small wooden desk and sat down. She pulled out some parchment and her quill and started her letter.

Dear Alex, Rosie and Louise.

I hope you get this letter before Alex and Sirius leave tomorrow otherwise it’s a pretty pointless letter. Sorry I haven’t written to you all, I’ve been sort of busy.

I really miss you and you may think ‘well how can she when she’s away with her boyfriend’ well let me tell you, because eugh, eugh, eugh, I have never felt so awkward in my entire life.

James is pretty angry with me, or he’s disappointed with me, I don’t know but we’re sort of not speaking, we didn’t have a massive argument but we had a falling out and then a long talk about how I needed to think about some stuff and figure out what I wanted. I don’t know, do you think he thinks I don’t want him? Oh Merlin this is such a mess.

I can’t wait to see you all, if I survive until then and James hasn’t thrown me out a window for being such an idiot.

Love you all.
Your dearest friend:

She sent the letter off with her bird Daisy:

“Get this to them tonight Dais, please” she murmured as Daisy soared off into the distance.

There was a knock at the door.

‘James’ she instantly thought, ‘please, please, please’

Of course it wasn’t, her Mother smiled at her from the doorway, “Just came to tell you dinner will be at half past six and until then you’re free to do whatever you please” she smiled, Lily nodded attempting a smile back, “Do you know what time Alex will be here tomorrow?” she asked, Lily shook her head.

“No sorry I don’t, early maybe, I don’t know” she shrugged, her Mother nodded, “Well I think I’m going to walk into the town” Lily suggested, grabbing her wand and sticking it in her bag, her Mother raised her eyebrows but said nothing, “I’ll see you later” she muttered, stepping out of the room and closing the door behind her.

“Isn’t James going with you?” Her Mum asked as she walked away from the room, Lily turned around and shook her head.

“He’ll probably be going to the gym or something, anyway I need a walk clear my head” her Mother looked as if she was about to say something else, “Bye Mum, see you later” she said slipping inside the lift and letting the doors close quickly before her Mum could say anything else.

She sighed and leant against the walls of the lift, she honestly had no intention of bothering to walk into the nearest town, dinner was in two hours there was really no point. She was going to wander around the grounds for a bit.

It was quite a nice afternoon and the grounds around the hotel were enormous, they had their own forest, of course nothing like Hogwarts but still massive. It’s funny how in a massive area you can still manage to bump into the person you have no intention of talking to one bit.

“Oh, you” Petunia sneered as the two sisters almost bumped into each other.

Lily raised her eyebrows, “What do you mean oh you?”

“Well, I don’t exactly have any reason to be speaking to you, so I’ll be on my way” Petunia scorned.

Lily stopped her however, “Um yes you do” she said coolly and Petunia raised her eyebrows, “You could apologise”

Petunia literally scoffed, she scoffed, “For what exactly?” and looked extremely perplexed, Lily gaped at her.

“For treating me like a piece of dirt the other night, for letting your fiancée stamp all over my boyfriend maybe” Lily cried.

Petunia turned her nose up, “Oh please Lily if you were so bothered about it surely you should’ve stuck up for him at the time”

“I was trying to make peace with you” Lily shot back.

“Why? What’s the point, I’ve made my choices no matter what you do Lily you’re not a sister to me anymore, when this wedding is over I will move in with Vernon and you and me will lead our separate lives. It’s quite simple really”

Lily gaped, “You don’t, you don’t mean that right?” she asked perplexed.

Petunia simply nodded, “And Lily I don’t care who you date. But honestly you and him, is it honestly going to last” she sneered mockingly, Lily knew she was trying to get a reaction, “because I really don’t see it”

“I don’t care whether you see it or not” Lily snapped back, “I’m happy, and of course it’s going to last”

“Until when? Next Thursday?” Petunia bit back, “I’d give you until tomorrow really, because I can tell when things aren’t working between a couple”

“We’re allowed disagreements, we’re allowed to argue but at the end of the day I still-” she stopped herself and took a deep breath.

“Still what? Care about him?” Petunia snorted, “That’s really not enough in the end, do you love him Lily? Can you see yourself ever loving him?”

“We’ve only been together about two months” Lily said glaring at her.

“Sometimes if you’re really meant to be with somebody that’s all it takes”

“How long did it take you?”

“Vernon told me he loved me three months after our first day” she paused, “But we’d liked each other a long time before that”

Lily’s stomach gave a jolt.

“Maybe I do, but you’re honestly no the one I should be telling” she retorted.

“I may not like you Lily and I may not want to call myself your sister anymore but I will give you one last piece of advice, when somebody looks at you like he looks at you sometimes you just know how he feels” Petunia said almost reluctantly.

Lily nodded, “Petunia” she said quietly and her sister raised her eyebrows, “I’m sorry about the way the other night went” she waited, she waited for her sister to say something, she waited for her to reply – but nothing.

“Ok” was all she said, before turning away.

Ok was that it, an apology back might have been nice. But Lily bit her tongue, what was she expecting for a full apology and a beg to get along again, no she let her sister walk away. She had made her choice and now Lily had to make hers.

Because she knew two things:

1. The relationship her Mother had hoped for with her and Petunia was never going to happen and for once Lily was ok with that – they had made their peace, Petunia was happy and so was Lily.
2. Lily Evans had finally fallen in love with James Potter.

But when one is not speaking to James Potter it is quite hard to tell him so.

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