Tears run down my face. I’m at your funeral, but it doesn’t feel as though I’m really here. To be honest, I’m having a bit of an out-of-body experience right now.
I just can’t believe you’re actually gone. It happened so fast, and when I saw your body lying there, in the Great Hall, it felt like the world stopped turning. My brother, dead. I thought it had to be some kind of sick joke that you were playing on us- but no, you wouldn’t go that far. I really wish you had though. It would have been cruel, but not as cruel as you being taken away from us.
Harry is beside me, and I want to be strong. But I can’t. He seems to know this though, he’s just holding me as I stare at your coffin. I can barely see from the tears blurring my vision. I want to stop crying, but I honestly can’t. It seems physically impossible right now, and it doesn’t feel like I’m ever going to stop crying.
I saw my reflection this morning. I was pale- paler than I normally am, that is. My eyes were red and puffy, and I’m sure they’re just worse now. Dressed in black I can’t help but think you would hate this. Everybody being sad, mourning. You’d want us to laugh, to joke, to have fun. To dress in bright colors and enjoy life. The way you used to.
I don’t know if I can do that. I want to laugh, I want to joke, I want to enjoy life. I want to enjoy the fact that we won, that Harry’s here, that I’m here. But you’re not here, and it seems so much harder to do that now. So many people were taken away from me, why did you have to be one of them? It doesn’t seem right. You should have lived a long, happy life. Joking around, as always. Helping your business prosper, and having a family of your own.
I walk up to your coffin. It’s closed, and I’m grateful. I don’t think I could bear it to have to see you like that, looking so serious. Looking so unhappy and cold and pale. It was the opposite of how your were in life, and I just want you to remember you like that. I want to remember to way you lived, not the way you died. I run my hand over the dark, smooth wood. My tears are falling on it, making dark stains spread across the warm wood. I wipe my face with the back of my hand, trying in vain to get the tears to stop.
I can’t think of life without you. You were always there for me, always there to cheer me up. You and George let me play with you, whenever Ron wouldn’t. Of course you would tease me, but you still protected me. You let me help you pull pranks on Ron. You never judged me after my first year of Hogwarts, and you were the only one who would just let me cry without trying to make me talk about it.
You offered to beat up each one of my boyfriends, if they ever broke my heart. It annoyed me so much at the time, but I wish I could hear you say it again. I wish I could hear you say anything again. I wish you were still here.
You’ll always be with me though. In my heart, in my mind.
“Goodbye, Fred,” I whisper, running my hands along the wooden coffin.
Up, in a place that could be referred to as heaven, Fred Weasley smiles sadly down on his funeral. He focuses in on his little sister, and she whispers two words.
“It’ll never be goodbye Gin. Not forever.”
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