5. That wasn’t the best idea…

Summary: Out of all the sensible things I could have done, of course I had to do that.

I don’t really know why I did that.

There were plenty more sensible things that I could have done. Like, I don’t know- reply.

But no, my mind had to choose the least sensible one. The one that ended with me covered in food.

It really doesn’t look like I’m actually going to eat anything today.

My poor stomach.

“What did she do that for?!”

“Has she officially gone crazy?!”

“Did she just faint?!”

“With all that blood in her face I’m not surprised.”

“See, I told you all I was right.”

“Rose, how does her fainting mean that you’re right?”

“Because she was so shocked that I guessed right.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“It does!”

“No sis, it doesn’t.”

“Shut up Hugo, you don’t know anything.”

“Love, I think you’re the one that should shut up.”

“Don’t you tell me what to do Scorpius Malfoy!”

“Here we go again.”

“I am an independent woman. You cannot tell me what to do!”

“I know that, I was just suggesting...”

“Then don’t suggest! How could you say something like that?! You haven’t changed.”

“Love, how can you say that?! Of course I’ve changed, you know that better than anyone!”

“Don’t you dare contradict me! You’re sleeping on the sofa tonight!”

“Hear, hear!”

“I thought I told you to shut up Hugo?!”

“Rose calm down.”

“No, I will not calm down Al.”

“Seriously Rose, take a chill pill.”

“You can shut up too Freddie Weasley.”

“But we all know that’s an impossible task.”



“Err... guys, sorry to interrupt. But I was just wondering if anyone was going to help her out.”



“Oh yeah!”

So now they finally remember me.

“Someone chuck a bucket of water over her.”

I heard movement above my head.

“Fred! I was joking!”

“Aww. Please let me throw it over her.”


Thank you.

“If she had fainted, you’d think she’d have woken up by now.”

“Maybe she died.”

“No Fred, she didn’t die. You can see her breathing.”

“Aww, Rox. You take all the fun out of everything.”

“Since when is it fun to see someone die?”


“Shut up!”

“Rose, we weren’t even talking to you. Why did you tell us to shut up?”

“What?! I didn’t say anything.”

“Yeah you did, you told everyone to shut up.”

“That wasn’t her.”

“Who was it then?”

“Maybe it was a ghost!”

“No Fred, it wasn’t a ghost. We don’t have any here.”

“It could have been.”

I think it’s about time that I should inform you that it was me that told them all to shut up.

I don’t particularly want to be covered in water or whatever else they will come up with next.

“I said it, you idiots.”

“Who said that? We are your friends!”

“Fred. Just shut up.”

“But who was it that actually said it?”

“Well it wasn’t me.”

“Me neither.” This went round the whole entire table. These people really are idiots.

I took my face out of my plate, and looked to face everyone.

“I said it, and thank you so much for checking that I’m alright.”

They just laughed.

How nice.

“You have a little something on your face.” Sophie choked out.

“I’m well aware of that fact thank you very much.” I said as a piece of mash potato dropped from my face into my lap.

“No need to get snappy.”

“It’s alright, love. You only need a napkin.” James told me while looking around the table. “...where are the napkins?”


My face is growing redder again. I’m actually thankful for amount of food on it as it’s covering my blush.

Malfoy started laughing, causing everyone to look at him.

“What did you do with the napkins Scorp?” Asked Fred in such a way that I suddenly felt like I was in a crime fiction novel.

I didn’t do anything.” He replied, staring pointedly at me.

“Like we can believe that.” Fred muttered.

“Just go and get me her some napkins will you.” Rose sighed, practically pulling a still laughing Malfoy up. Only to realise that everyone had promptly burst out laughing at him.

“What’s so funny?” He asked the table, not getting anything apart from more laughter in return.

Let me tell you, shall I?

Seeing as the laughter isn’t aimed at me for once I can actually sit back and enjoy my handy work. I’m sure you remember the little spell I put on Malfoy’s trousers earlier? It’s just now paid off, because he pants are still wet in the worst possible place.

Sweet revenge.

“What?!” He asked again, stamping his foot. I’m actually serious, he just stamped his foot like teenage girls do in movies. I’m quite worried for Rose…

“Malfoy wet his pants. Malfoy wet his pants. Malfoy wet his pants. Malfoy wet his…”

What?!” He shouted again red in the face, cutting off Freddie’s (already annoying) mantra.

To this people laughed even more, so he did what any sane person would do. Well, any sane non-Gryffindor person- he ran. With Rose following close behind.


To my surprise we actually managed to continue as normal. Well, as normal as anything Weasley/Potter concerned that is. And I am pleased to say that I have managed to eat all that I could possible fit into my body, (when people say that Mrs Weasley’s cooking is good, they are not lying) without getting it anywhere else on my body or in my hair. Also, to my amazement, I haven’t been laughed at since the last incident. That’s a pretty big feat, if you think about it.

Malfoy came back half way through, still slightly pink. Of course I couldn’t help but laugh and smirk at him so he’s been glaring at me since.

At the moment everyone’s sat around talking about things going on in their lives: ‘how’s so and so I haven’t seen them in ages’; ‘what about this person last I heard they’d gone on holiday’ and ‘how’s blardy blars baby, did they really name him Kingsley?’. For someone who claims to be a gossip writer I really have no clue what they’re on about. As far as I can tell the news isn’t particularly interesting. Most of the people they’re talking about don’t seem too famous (everyone who is known by the Potter/Weasley’s automatically becomes slightly well known) but I swear they were talking about the old Minister’s daughter a minute ago. I’m not too sure though. Not that I would listen and make sure I remembered what they were saying if it was.

Alright, alright. So I might be listening into their conversation but it’s not like I’m going to do anything with the information, I’m just mildly curious. This is actually pretty rare for reporters, most (like Kelly Clarkson) would run to the nearest…

“Excuse me?”

“Yes?” I answered to the air around me. This may seem like a strange thing to do for you, but seen as I really had no clue who just said that it’s not like I could turn round and face them.

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah?” There is no one talking to me, I swear. No one’s even facing in my direction.

“Excuse me?” I’m not hearing voices am I? This is slightly worrying, my head’s whipping back and forth making me look like a complete idiot but it is telling me that no one in my line of sight is talking to me.

“Yeah, who’s talking to me?”

“Me.” A little voice answered, accompanied with a tug at my dress.

I followed the tug and found a smiling little face of Carrie Lupin. Victorie Weasley/Lupin and Ted Lupin’s daughter.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t see you down there.” She just stared up at me with her dazzling veela blue eyes. A confused expression stretched across her face, making her look adorable.

If my maths is correct Carrie is about 3 years old. I still remember covering her birth when I was just starting to rise in the ranks at Witch Weekly, I had to push through so many people to get a good story. You have no idea how popular the birth of the first child born into the next generation was. The family wasn’t left alone for months with reporters hounding them for news of little Carrie.

She’s still staring at me. Now I know that I don’t have much experience around children but I swear it’s not normal for her to just stare at me for ages without saying anything.

“Sorry, did you want something?”

“Are you special?” She asked outright. Not the normal question you start a conversation with, is it?

“Sorry?” Surely I hadn’t heard right, no one can honestly answer if they think they’re special or not. They’ll always be a little biased.

“Are you special?” She repeated a little slower, like she was the one talking to the toddler- not me.

Who wouldn’t call themselves special without seeming like an arrogant arsehole? Is she meaning am I special because I’m magic, or just in general?

“No, I wouldn’t say I was.”

“I think you are.” She said in such a way that made you doubt if what she was saying was a compliment. It was more like she couldn’t see why I was, but knew I was. Not that that makes much sense.

But then again, I don’t often made that much sense.

“That’s kind of you.”

“You must be special.” Again, is it wrong of me to take that as an insult?

“Umm… why’s that?”

“Because Uncle Jamie bought you.” Bought me? No one’s bought me. Unless I really was much drunker than I thought last night. “Bought… bought… brought… Uncle Jamie brought you.” That makes more sense… ish.

“What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Uncle Jamie never brings people round.” And I just got told this because…?

“Uncle Jamie never brings people round because he says they’re not special enough”

“I’m sure he brings a few friends over.” This kid is just so weird.

“Boys yes, but never girls. Are you sure you’re not special?” She asked again, that delicate confused expression back on her face.

“Yes, I’m sure.” But inside I was starting to question myself. You see I honestly couldn’t see James’ reason for bringing me here. Sure seeing Sophie and Rose was a good excuse at the time, but Sophie is my sister and I owl Rose regularly. Not a good enough reason to go to the family lunch of a bloke who’s practically a stranger to me.

A date would have been a sensible thing to do. Ask for my number to organise another time to meet and excuse yourself saying you’ve got to go to a family thing would be what any normal person would do.

And it’s not like it’s a normal thing for James to do, if Carrie’s right and she has no reason to lie, he never brings his girlfriend’s over- even less his one night stands which is what I classify as, even though it seems to be going on much longer than a night.

And also, something that I didn’t really think about at the time, but what about that kiss? There was no reason for it and if I really was a one night stand like I should be why would he want to keep me around and kiss me again? It surely can’t be for my snogging skills.

I’m so confused.

My brains just turned into mush and I can’t think about it anymore.

I have no reason to be here- yet here I’m sat.

I didn’t notice Carrie walk away when she was called over by her mother, still looking at me if I was something abnormal.

All of my jumbled up thoughts revolve around one thing:

Whether or not James likes me.

Sure, he acts like he likes me. What happened inside the burrow definitely proves that, but what if it was just an act? What if he didn’t mean it?

Could he possibly be using me?!

Is he getting his own back on Witch Weekly? Make a fool out of me, in hope that I’ll get laughed at and ruin the paper. Or maybe he’s hoping to feed false information to me to put in the paper to make us a laughing stock. Or maybe…

Or is he just properly using me? Does he know that I have no experience in this area and thinks that I’ll do anything he wants? Be an easy shag?

Stop it.

I really don’t like these thoughts. For some reason, they hurt. I don’t like it.

It feels…strange.

James doesn’t seem like the sort of person to use somebody though, he just doesn’t seem that cruel…

Have I really just rambled for this long about whether a boy likes me or not?!


I’m turning into an airhead!

This can’t be happening to me!

I’ll never let this happen again, I swear to you. Never again will you have to put up with one of my long, boring rants. And if you do, feel free to shoot me.

Let’s just forget about it. And try to join in with one of the many conversations going on round the table and push it into the back of my mind. I will not become an airhead as long as I’m still in my own mind.

“…Quidditch practice is getting so stressful at the moment. I mean it’s the end of the season, why do they feel the need to work us so hard?!” Hugo was saying.

“I know, tell me about it, we’re getting rushed off our feet at the moment at St. Mungo’s. It’s amazing the amount of people getting injured, I really can’t see how so many fully educated people seem to be able inflict pain on themselves with their own wands!” Roxie exclaimed, making the people in the conversation start laughing, bringing even more people into it.

“I told you it wasn’t just me Roxie!” Fred joked. “But I know what you mean Hugo, the end of the season’s almost up, we only have one more game. There’s no need for them to work us this hard.”

“You two have it easy!” James scoffed. “You try working for the England team and see how hard they work you!”

“What is it this time Hu? 57th time this month that he’s rubbed our noses in that fact?” Fred sighed.

“It’s not my fault that I’m better than you.”

“Yeah right James, you only got that because of Uncle Harry being who he is.” Roxie laughed.

“I resent that.”

“Of course you do.” Rose sighed, obviously tired of what seem to be an old argument. “Am I the only one with a decent job here? Working at the Ministry is always hard.”

“Being a Healer is a decent job I’ll have you know!”

“So is playing Quidditch! Just because you don’t enjoy the sport…”

This continued for some time, but I switched off. I didn’t really want to listen to another of their stupid arguments.

It’s just my luck that out of all the conversations to have around me it had to be one about jobs.

Maybe if I just kept my mouth shut no one will bother asking me anything about it.

“Fine, fine! I give up, you don’t have useless jobs!” Rose shouted over the noise of the argument.

“Cammie you’ve been quiet. Where do you work?” Roxie said obviously trying to start a new conversation. Not that this one would be much better than the last. In fact I think it’d cause even more arguments.

“Oh this is going to be good.” Al laughed with Fred joining in.

“Oi, everyone! Cammie’s just about to tell us where she works!” Fred shouted down the table.

I keep on saying that I’m going to kill Fred but I’m actually going to go through with it this time. I can’t believe he just shouted that. He knows the reaction his family is going to have! The fact that they’ve got someone from Witch Weekly sat at their table won’t go down well. Not well at all.

Everyone slowly turned to face me again, their own conversations dying down.

From the corner of my eye I could see James stiffen at the thought of what was about to come. He certainly knows how to fill me with confidence.

“Umm…” I stuttered.

“We’re not going to go through all this again Cam, just spit it out.” Sophie smirked, enjoying the thought of what was about to happen. Useless sister, I thought she was meant to protect me.

When she first started going out with Louis I begged her not to tell them where I worked for fear of when I finally met him and his family I would be killed. Rose is really the only one that’s known for a while and she too has kept it quiet to prevent something that is just about to take place- my death.

“Umm… I work for Witch Weekly.” I said in the quietest voice I could knowing that dragging it out would do more damage in the long run.

Everyone was silent. Completely silent.

I swear you could almost hear the ticking from the clock inside the house.

“SHE WHAT?!” Ron Weasley shouted jumping up, pointing his finger at me.



I’ve deleted the old authors note but basically it said sorry for the long wait.
This chapter is a filler, so I’m sorry about that too. The next one has taken a completely unexpected turn now I’ve started writing it, but I hope you’ll find it funny.
I’ve written about half of it (even if it’s on paper at the moment) but I’ve been in the writing mood recently so hopefully it won’t take the three months it took to get this one up.
I just updated this because I was in such a rush to get it out before I didn’t have time to send it to my beta (little_rebels) so I’ve given it to her and now the mistakes I’ve made should hopefully be sorted.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that it made you laugh. If you could leave a review it would really make my day.
Thank you so much for reading (and if you’re still following, thank you for putting up with the ridiculously long time I take to get a chapter out),
Sarah xx

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