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I don’t know how I get myself in these types of situations. I really don’t.
If you had told me a year ago that I would be having three extremely attractive British guys carry my possessions into their apartment in downtown London, then I would’ve told you that you were batshit crazy and that you should check into a mental hospital.
Their apartment wasn’t too bad. Sure, there was a pile of dirty dishes the size of Mt. Everest in the sink, the laundry room smelled like dung bombs, which I’m told was an accidental explosion a few months ago when James and Louis’ little cousin, Fred, visited, and there was nothing besides booze, ketchup, boxes of leftover take out food, and for some reason, a very large collection of grapefruits in their refrigerator.
I don’t know if one of them has some weird grapefruit fetish, but there is an unusually huge amount of grapefruits in that fridge. I honestly don’t think it’s normal on anyone’s standards.
It was big, at least. We all had our own bedrooms, but unfortunately, there was only one bathroom so I’d have to share with them, and I could only imagine the horrors that come with that.
“Louis, move your ass! This box is heavy as fuck!” James ordered loudly, and attempted to kick Louis to go faster up the steps, but Louis was struggling himself to carry his end of my mattress that Aidan was carrying the other side of.
“SHUT UP, I’M TRYING!” Louis yelled, and tried to kick his leg backwards to hit James, but he was missing by a few feet.
I held in my laughter as I trailed behind them carrying two of my suitcases that I magically made as light as a feather.
When I suggested that we just bring in the stuff magically, they instantly nixed the idea saying that we couldn’t chance muggles seeing it. Then when I said that we should just simply shrink everything, and carry it in easily, they said no to that also because they were manly, and then could carry it in themselves without magic.
What I don’t think that they considered is that they live on the fourth floor, and that means that they need to carry all my shit up four flights of stairs.
These are the idiots that I am willingly moving in with for who knows how long.
Merlin, help me.
“Holy shit, America. What do you have in here? Rocks?” James whined, and adjusted his grip on the box.
“Of course, you didn’t expect me to leave my world famous rock collection back at home, did you?” I said in the most innocent voice I could muster with a small smile playing on my lips.
James whipped his head around to shoot me a playful glare. “Funny.” He said sarcastically. “But seriously, what the hell do you have in here?”
“Shoes,” I responded after looking at the label that I had previously made on the side of the box.
“Shoes?!” James repeated incredulously, raising his eyebrows. “This whole entire box is filled with shoes?”
“So I like shoes! Sue me!” I exclaimed with a grin, and swung my arm forward so my suitcase hit him in the back.
“Bloody ouch! If the weight of your mental amount shoes becomes too much for me, and I die, then yeah, I will sue you.” He said matter-of-factly, and I stuck my tongue out at him.
“If you had just lightened the weight like I did, Britain, then we wouldn’t be having this discussion, now would we?”
“Men don’t need to lighten the weight.” He grunted, sounding so incredibly stupid that I started laughing.
“Men can also carry a measly box of shoes and a mattress faster than the pace of a slug.” I pointed out reasonably.
“HEY!” They shouted indignantly in unison.
“Just hurry up! I’m not getting any younger here!”
“We don’t have to help you, you know.”
“If we would’ve done it my way in the first place, and shrunk everything, then we could be done by now and enjoying a nice grapefruit.”
“DON’T TOUCH MY GRAPEFRUIT!” Aidan screamed from the top of steps.
Huh, so it was Aidan’s grapefruit.
For some reason, I’m not surprised in the least bit.
“You really are an ungrateful little wench, you know that, right?” James said, with a teasing smirk.
“Wow, Britain. Your lovely comments never cease to flatter me,” I said, whacking him in the back again with my suitcase.
“Oh, I’m glad.” He growled after grunting in pain.
I heard the door to the apartment creak open, and Aidan, the mattress, and Louis slipped through it, followed by James and me.
Of course my room is the furthest away from the door so I got to laugh as the boys swore angrily as they tripped over various Healing school books, broomsticks, and just general debris that littered the carpeted floor.
My room was the smallest out of everybody’s but I didn’t complain because, as it should be, it was first come first serve. It still fit all my stuff, although the lack of closet space would cause a slight problem for my ‘mental amount of shoes’, but I’d manage.
“Please, Merlin, tell me that that’s the last of everything?” Aidan said in an extremely hopeful voice that made me smile.
“Yes, that’s it. You all can go back to your lazy lives of watching reruns of quidditch games on the Wiz-Telly while I unpack.” I laughed, and started shooing them out the door.
“What time’s dinner?” Louis asked, pausing at the doorway.
I raised an eyebrow at him. “Er, whatever time you decide to make it for yourself, I suppose?” I responded as I opened up the latches to the first suitcase, and started throwing a bunch of bras and underwear into one of the drawers to my dresser.
I looked up and saw that the three blokes were staring at me with extremely confused expression on their faces.
“What?” I asked them when they continued staring at me as if I just danced around naked screaming ‘I’m a billy goat!’
Now that I think about it that would be quite an interesting show to watch.
“You mean you’re not cooking dinner?” Aidan asked, pulling his eyebrows together and scratching the back of his head as if it was a difficult concept to understand.
“Why would you assume that I was cooking dinner just because I’m a girl?” I asked in a sharp tone, folding my arms across my chest, and cocking my head to the side slightly in an attempt to look intimidating.
Apparently, they were too distraught over the newly learnt fact that I was not, in fact, going to cook for them whenever they pleased.
“So that’s a no?” James asked sounding heartbroken, and the three looked as if they were puppies that had just been kicked.
“I can’t eat anymore take out!”
“I think I got food poisoning last week!”
“I’m starving! I haven’t eaten anything all day!”
“It all tastes the same!”
“I was throwing up and shitting for hours!”
“Do you hear my stomach growl? LISTEN!”
I closed my eyes, pinched the bridge of my nose, took a deep breath, and asked, “Where is the nearest grocery store?”
“The nearest what?”
“Grocery store,” I repeated in a slow voice, and the shared dumbstruck glances with one another. “It’s a place where you buy food so then you can cook it.” I explained, and their faces brightened so fast that I almost had whip lash.
“So that means that you’re going to cook?!” Louis asked excitedly, and I nodded, already regretting it, knowing that they would think that this would be a daily occurrence.
Truth is, I actually enjoyed cooking, but kitchens have been slightly ruined for me after watching my what I thought was going to be my future husband and my best friend since diapers fuck on the counter.
Before I had another mental breakdown and moved to Siberia, I pushed the thought from my head and asked again, “Where is the nearest grocery store?”
“I could ask my mum.” James offered. “She’d probably know.”
We followed him into the living room, and I plopped myself down on the black leather couch, while James put his head into the green flames of the fireplace and yelled “White House!”
“White House is the name of their white mansion. Aunt Ginny and Uncle Harry let James name it when he was a two year old. Not the smartest decision of their lives...James wasn’t the most creative toddler out there.” Louis whispered to me, and I laughed when James flicked us off from behind his back.
“Merlin, Mum and Dad! If you’re going to do that, then don’t do it in front of the fireplace! I’m scarred for life!” James screamed, and I can only assume that The Chosen One was getting it on with his wife.
“You’re lucky that we were only snogging mate.” I heard Harry Potter’s voice say faintly. “A couple more minutes…”
“DAD!” James yelled in a disgusted tone at the same time Ginny Potter scolded, “HARRY!”
I also heard the sound of someone getting smacked on the chest and someone else yell, “Ow! I was just kidding!”
Aidan, Louis, and I all grinned, listening as if it was good radio.
“Sweetie, are you alright? What’s wrong?” Mrs. Potter’s voice asked, sounding panicked.
“I’m fine, Mum.” James said, sighing tiredly. “I was just wondering where a grocery store is.”
Mrs. Potter’s voice instantly became more panicked. “You’re not going to cook again, are you, James? You almost burnt down the kitchen last time…”
Louis instantly burst out laughing, and James shot him the bird yet again. “Do I even want to know?” I asked, smiling, and glancing at a very amused looking Aidan, who shook his head and grinned.
“No, Mum! I promise I won’t cook!” James said quickly, and I could just imagine his eyes rolling.
“Okay, good. Well, there’s the grocery store down the street from Percy’s house. We went there to get band aids for when you and Louis pushed Molly out of that tree when you were six? Remember?”
I raised an eyebrow at Louis and he shrugged and said, “What? She was being a bitch!”
I shook my head and smiled because it reminded me of the time when I was four, I pushed my mom’s best friend’s daughter, who I despised, off the top of the jungle gym because she said that I looked like a ghost and made fun of me for being scared to go down the big slide.
It’s still one of my favorite memories.
“Oh right! Thanks!” James said, and did a thumbs up behind his back as if we couldn’t hear that we found a grocery store.
“No problem, Sweetheart.” Mrs. Potter said fondly, and James stepped fully out of the flames.
“Louis, you remember where it is now, right?” James asked, and Louis nodded.
“How could I forget. Molly screamed until your mum bought her the princess themed band aids, demanded strawberry ice cream, and then threw it on my favorite cow boy shirt.”
Hmm, Louis didn’t really peg me as the type of little boy to be into cow boys. I pictured him as more of a train set kind of kid like my brother, Cyrus. My oldest brother, Micah, was crazily into toy cars.
Legit, he went as a car for Halloween, which I didn’t even know was a possible costume.
James grinned. “Good times, good times.”
“For you maybe. Your favorite tee shirt didn’t get ruined, now did it?” Louis said, scowling.
“Don’t be a baby.” Aidan said after punching him. “Can we go now? I’m bloody starving.”
“Yeah, Aidan, you go with Louis, and I’ll take America because you two don’t know where it is, and we’ll meet there, okay?”
“I don’t want to hold his hand!” Aidan whined, sticking his tongue out at Louis, causing me to laugh and James and Louis to roll their eyes.
“Fine then, Louis can take America, and I’ll go with you, happy?”
“I don’t want to hold your hand either!”
“Then you can just bloody stay home!”
“NO!” Aidan shouted instantly, looking like a child afraid of being left behind. “I want to go!”
“Then man up, and take my hand!” Louis yelled in an irritated tone, and James shook his head in exasperation.
“You really can’t use the phrase ‘then man up’ when you’re telling a bloke to hold your hand, mate. It just doesn’t work like that.”
Louis groaned in annoyance, I laughed again, and James slapped a palm to his forehead.
“That’s it, I’m taking Charlie. You can deal with him.” Louis said, turning to James and nodding his head in Aidan’s direction who looked slightly affronted, before grabbing my hand and disapparating two seconds later.
Words of the wise to future generations and for future reference: Never go grocery shopping with three nineteen year old guys that have never gone grocery shopping before (minus the excursion to get princess band aids and ice cream cones).
While it maybe be entertaining to watch a six foot five fully grown man sit in and get pushed around in a shopping cart by his extremely gleeful best friends, it is also slightly a danger hazard considering the fact that one of these best friends might not have full control of the cart thus causing them to hit a ten foot pyramid of paper towels, and have the certain six foot five fully grown man tumble out of the cart and land on top of a small child.
Then again, watching the grandmother of the poor little boy whack Aidan repeatedly with her purse and calling him, Louis, and James almost every bad name in the book was kind of worth it.
But still, I don’t recommend trying to shop for food with three nineteen year old guys because they are worse than shopping with children.
We went in to get some basic food for the kitchen. You know, pasta, eggs, bread, cheese, cereal, milk, and all that good stuff.
And while we did come out with those items, we also left with three boxes of different types of cookies, fruit snacks, seven more grapefruits, juice boxes, superhero band aids, various brands of chips, several bags of candy, and dog shampoo.
When I asked Louis why on earth he’d want dog shampoo when he doesn’t even have a dog, he said that wanted to see if it would make his hair softer.
I found this slightly worrying and I didn’t question it any further.
Plus, when you come home, they expect you to put away all of the groceries because they ‘don’t know where anything goes’ even though they’ve lived there actually more than half a day.
Although, you do kind of believe them when you force them to try to figure it out, and they think that cereal goes in the fridge and cheese goes underneath the sink.
It makes you consider calling up their mothers and demanding to know where they went wrong with raising these children.
Even Cyrus and Micah would be less clueless then them, and those two are perhaps the stupidest idiots I’ve ever met.
One time Cyrus asked me if he should stick his hand in the garbage disposal to get the spoon out…while it was running.
This is what happens when there isn’t a woman around. You get your hand cut off and cheese that lives underneath the sink.
Awful lifestyle, I know. I don’t suggest living it anytime soon.
HI. Fast update, eh? You guys should be proud. I hope you liked Charlie’s POV because I think I like it more than James’ so most of it will probably be in her POV. I think I’ll do an occasional chapter in James’ though so there’s that to look forward to.
So what does everyone think about the story so far? Who’s your favorite character? James? Aidan? Louis? Charlie? I’m curious so let me know! :D
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