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Even though it's rated Mature and has a Strong Language warning, I'm letting you know ahead of time that this chapter has vulgarity. There's also a bit of lewd humor. Brace yourself if you dislike swearing.

 

 







The entire Potions class turns to the door when a meek knock resounds. The expressions mix between irritated, hopeful, and disappointed. A Third Year Gryffindor stands there, looking petrified to see the somber expressions on N.E.W.T. students. Slughorn looks up from Black's potion to the child and grunts in displeasure.

         

"Well, bring it here," he barks, tugging on his vest. The student hands the note over and dashes out of the room, not bothering to look behind at any of us. Wise choice methinks.

 

Slughorn looks a little disgruntled as he stuffs the note in his breast pocket. His eyes slip around the room for a moment before landing on me. My breath catches in my throat. Oh, God.

 

"Miss Evans, Madam Pomfrey requests your presence. She doesn't anticipate you'll return to class," Slughorn says as graciously as he can manage.

 

My heart thunders in my ears and my hands feel clammy. Oh, Merlin, help me. I nod once to show I heard him and make to clean up my potion.

 

"Just hand in what you have finished, I'm sure it's marvelous even half done," Slughorn calls loudly from across the room. I flush at his words and nod a few times, adding a bit of my potion to a vial. I vanish the remnants and gather my ingredients. I can hardly breathe, let alone think.

 

"Evans?"

 

There is only one person in the entire world who would address me in this frantic state, and I send him a desperate look from the doorway.

 

Potter closes his mouth and smiles encouragingly at me. Despite myself, I send a half smile in his direction before exiting.

 

My knees wobble in anticipation and I have to pause a few times to calm myself.

 

Pomfrey is waiting for me, standing there calmly. How come she can't be as terrified as I am?

 

"You may want to sit down," is the only thing she says to me for a minute. I do as she says and I wait in terrible anticipation. She sits down beside me and takes my hand. I sense a squirming bit of excitement in her, but I see fear and uncertainty, too.

 

Please don't be, I beg Merlin. Anything else, anything else…

 

"You're going to have a baby," Pomfrey says softly.

 

"Excuse me?" I choke, my jaw dropping open. Merlin how you've betrayed me!

 

"You're nearly a month along now," she continues, "so we'll need to schedule an appointment with a Healer. You'll have to inform your parents, and presumably the father." I don't take anything she's saying into account right now. I'm still stuck on "baby" and the implications of it.

 

"Holy fuck," I whisper, staring at Pomfrey as though she'd grown an extra head. This isn't possible. It can't be possible. I'm seventeen for God's sake; I'm not old enough to be a mother!

 

She pats my shoulder before leaving me alone again. I curl up on the bed in an attempt to change it, shocked beyond words. Potter and I had had one drunken escapade and suddenly, we're going to be parents. Good God, I'm going to have to learn how to deal with Potter as more than a business partner. He's the father of my child!

 

Merlin, Potter and I have a child growing inside of me.

 

"Holy fuck!" I repeat loudly, jumping up as though I have been slapped. I pace back and forth between the beds. I have to tell him. How in the world do I do that? Jesus, what happens to students who get pregnant at Hogwarts? I have to tell my teachers.

 

Oh, God. I have to tell my mother.

 

Maybe this is just a grand mistake. There's no way; I can't possibly be pregnant. So what if all the signs add up? Signs aren't everything!

 

I sigh and sink back down onto the nearest bed. Dear Merlin.

 

This can't be happening to me. Me! Lily Evans! I have fantastic grades, I'm the Head Girl, and that one goddamn night was the first time I'd had a drink in over a year. Damn that Potter, it's all his fault. You know, he didn't even take me out to dinner before he got me pregnant! That indecent jerk!

 

How am I going to tell Mum? This will break her heart. Her wonderful, perfect Lily has done something she can't cover up.

 

What did I do to deserve this? What wrong did I cause in a previous life?

 

I try to compose myself again, but I run my hands through my long hair instead. I stand up and sit back down three times before I come to the conclusion my legs can't hold me.

 

Despite my frenzy, there's a warm feeling growing in me. The loneliness is being replaced the more I think about being pregnant. There is a comfort in having someone along for the ride all the time, and no matter what, I won't have to do this alone… even if my baby is a Potter clone.

 

Wait, BABY! Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

 

Oh, good job Evans, you've figured out how it happened, I scathingly sneer to myself.

 

I intertwine my hands in my distressed hair.

 

"Miss Evans?"

 

I turn to look at her, my eyes still wide and my hair reaching new levels of messy. I'm sure I look crazed right now. Pomfrey doesn't act as if I have gone insane, instead offering me a sympathetic and nearly motherly smile.

 

"I'll have to inform the Headmaster."

 

Oh God, why didn't I already assume that? Of course all of my bloody teachers have to know, why wouldn't Dumbledore?

 

"Do you…?" She pauses as if unsure what to say, and she delicately begins again. "Do you know who the father is?"

 

I have officially hit a new low. Our school nurse assumes I am sexually promiscuous. I want to inform her that in my nearly eighteen years of life, I'd only slept with two boys, and those were over a year apart. Instead, I nod in embarrassment. I realize she wants me to tell her from the probing look on her face and I gulp. Oh God, this is so embarrassing.

 

"James Potter," I mumble and she nods, writing it down. Who the hell is going to read that? Oh, fuck, this is terrible.

 

"The Headmaster will call you to his office later," Pomfrey says offhandedly as she folds the parchment. "For now, though, you're free to go."

 

I stare blankly at her. The biggest news of my entire life has been dropped on my head like a bomb and I'm expected to go back to class!? What kind of world is this?!

 

"You're not expected to attend the remainder of your lessons," she adds before walking to her office.

 

I stand in the middle of the hospital wing, my arms hang limply at my sides, and I feel as though I've been through a war. I'm crumpled and exhausted.

 

I hoist my heavy bag over my shoulder and walk slowly out. It's all so surreal. My fears are really coming true, and there's nothing I can do to prevent them from rushing in to take me over.

 

"Lily?" a voice calls out from the depths of the hospital wing. Oh no, someone has been here the entire time to witness my humiliation.

 

Although, of course. Why didn't I think of that? Merlin already hates me. Why shouldn't he make it worse?

 

There's a closed curtain and I know it came from there. I walk up close and hesitate; maybe I should get permission…

 

Oh, what the hell. They didn't ask permission to listen to my life crumble around me, I'm invading their privacy. Please be dressed.

 

"Remus?!" I suppose I'm not too surprised to see him there; now that I remember, it had been a full moon the previous night. What shocks me are the cuts on his arms, neck, and face and the swelled bruises along the right side of his jaw. "Oh, hell, Remus," I whisper.

 

"I heard, Lily," he whispers back, a grimace of his distaste flashing over his features. Whether it's at my seeing him in this state or my predicament, I can't tell.

 

"Yeah, I figured," I admit and let my bag drop to the floor with a thunk. I delicately rest on the edge of his bed and protest profusely when he moves to give me room. I stop mid-word when I see a mischievous smile cross his face.

 

"We can't have the expecting mother fall and get hurt, can we?" he teases, and then laughs. Suddenly, I am so damn grateful for this man. If anyone else had said that to me, I would've given them matching bruises on the left side and stormed away. But this is Remus' way of telling me he's not judging me and he won't make me go through this alone.

 

And it makes me laugh. That counts in his favor.

 

"Did you hear all of it?" I ask, nudging his leg a bit. Through Prefect duties and chance encounters in the library, we've become something akin to friends.

 

"Enough to finally explain James' odd behavior the last few weeks," he says sheepishly.

 

My eyes go wide as I remember those buffoons Remus considers friends. "Don't tell them about this, please," I beg. "I know Potter needs to know, but I have to do it."

 

"I wasn't even considering it," Remus says with a smile. "I just have one question."

 

I take a deep breath. "Okay, shoot."

 

"You were drunk when you slept with him, right?"

 

I laugh. Thank Merlin for Remus. He always knows how to change a serious situation into a comical one, and he's the bookish one. Nerds always have better humor. It's a wonder I never developed feelings for this one. Funny, good-looking, intelligent, charming; it's odd no one has really gone for him.

 

"I was," I admit, blushing a bit. "So was he, if it makes a difference."

 

"Not at all," Remus says shamelessly. "I think it's a little exciting you and James are going to be parents of the same child. And I think he'll want to be a part of it."

 

"Of what?" I ask, a little confused. Of being drunk?

 

"Of everything. The pregnancy, raising the child, your life." I laugh again; he's been telling me that last bit since Fifth Year. "If there's one guy I've ever met who wants to have a family, it would be James Potter."

 

He and I look at each other, and I finally see what he means about Potter. He's a good guy, who was raised by parents with old-fashioned morals, even if he could choose to forget them at times. I'm not entirely sure how far he'll extend a helping hand, but Potter won't let me do this alone either.

 

"I'm going to go hide my face for all eternity," I say after the pause. "See you later. Heal up quick, okay?"

 

He laughs again, and I'm glad to see the smile on his broken face. "You can bet on it."

 

I leave the wing quickly this time, unwilling to be captured again. I lean against the heavy oak door and breathe slowly. One person down, the rest of the school to go, and I have a feeling they all won't be so kind about it as Remus.

 



 
 

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