Another warning: I will be writing in Corvus’ point of view right up until he decides to try again, but that’s it. I’m not going into detail of the actual attempt.
All these broken pieces fit together
To make a perfect picture of us
“I’ll get it!” Scorpius exclaimed, jumping up from his position on the floor.
He hurried over to the door, humming Christmas carols to himself as he went while his parents sat on the couch, sipping mugs of coffee and chatting quietly.
“Happy Christmas!” he said happily as he opened the door, and his breath caught in his throat.
“I never did really understand your love of such a dismal holiday,” Corvus muttered, arching an eyebrow.
“It’s not dismal,” he quickly retorted, though he was finding it hard to collect his thoughts, “I’ve got loads of presents, duh.”
“Yea, I just finished opening mine. I, uh,” his friend paused, dropping his gaze, “I wanted to say thanks, Scorp, and, well, happy Christmas cos I know how you are with your stupid red and green spirit. I don’t know anyone else who would have stuck by my side all this time.”
“Hey,” he said, shaking his head, “You’re my best friend, mate. I’m not going anywhere. How’s Lyra?”
“Smiling,” he said with a shrug, “She’s really happy. I, uhm, I’ve been talking to her the past couple weeks. I’m sorry it took me so long to do this. And, well, now you’re going to think I’m all cliché because it’s Christmas and all, but I just… I feel bad.”
Scorpius just shook his head before stepping forward and embracing his friend. Corvus accepted the hug, lightly returning it.
“You wanna come in?” Scorpius offered as they parted, but Corvus shook his head.
“I’m going to Hailey’s. I need to present her with my most amazing gift ever,” he ended in a faint smirk, “Plus, I need to apologize and beg for her heart and all that.”
“She loves you. She’s not going to turn you away.”
“I certainly hope so. Well, I’ll see you later, mate. Good to see you, Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy.”
They smiled in response, and Scorpius couldn’t hide his grin as he shut the door; it felt good to have him back.
Corvus sat on the edge of his bed, hands braced on his knees. A knife sat next to him, gleaming in the morning light. He hadn’t been to sleep in a few days, and his was starting to feel the exhaustion creep into him. He hadn’t been eating lately, and he felt weak everytime he tried to get out of bed. He knew he was worrying his sister and his friends, but he couldn’t be bothered to care. They’d all been so happy after winter break, watching him slowly break away from his hole and entering their world again. It had taken nearly the entire end half of the year to coax him back into speaking to people outside of Lyra, Hailey, and Scorpius, though he’d muttered a few words here or there to his other friends. As soon as summer hit, however, and he found his way back into his house, his house where his father had deserted him, he felt broken down, destroyed, annihilated, and he could barely find the will to get up and live the day.
He looked up at the wall; Lyra’s room was next to his. He loved her so dearly, though he knew that she was strong, much stronger than he was. She could survive. She would be okay without him. Corvus’ glance turned back to the knife. This would work, this time was different. He was already weak from his lack of sleep and nutrition, this would just be the twist to finish him. He wouldn’t be found this time. He’d locked the door magically, and he had muffled his room with just a simple charm, and it fascinated him at how easily he could slip away into death without anyone noticing. He wouldn’t burden anyone anymore.
He refused to write a note, especially to his father. Crumpled pieces of paper lay scattered around the room, failed attempts to write him a final letter, to beg his explanation, to beg his forgiveness, to beg him to find his way back to his heart. But he knew his father was merely a ghost of who he had been now. He’d heard news through the cracks, news that told him he was a ragged mess, stumbling around the streets of London, homeless and looking for any way to get his fix, a fix Corvus had found in death.
He would not live this time.
Corvus touched the blade’s edge, and he smiled lightly as he split the skin on his finger before wrapping his hand around the handle and lifting it. He would not be remembered.
Scorpius sat down next to Lyra, and she instantly reached for his hand, to which he laced his with hers and squeezed it comfortingly.
“We tell no one,” she whispered, and he nodded, “Only Mungo’s will know. I don’t want this getting out. He’s already been through enough.”
Scorpius let his head fall back against the wall he’d become too familiar with, and he sighed. He’d been sitting in the library on the first floor at the piano when Lyra pounded on the door, screaming for him. When he returned with her to her house, it was to find Corvus sprawled on the floor, drowning in his own blood. After wracking his brain for a second, he remembered a spell McGonagall had given him, a spell that pulled Corvus’ blood back into his body before he apparated both Corvus and Lyra to St. Mungo’s.
After they’d extracted the knife from his stomach and explained that he was just narrowly alive, they’d been left alone in the room with him, just the two of him.
“Especially not Hailey,” he whispered, bringing himself out of his thoughts, “That’s his job to tell her.”
Lyra nodded before laying her head on Scorpius’ shoulder.
“I don’t know what to do about him anymore, Scorp. I thought he was getting better.”
“We just have to try harder. We have to bring him out of this.”
“Can he stay at your house for a couple days? I know it’s only down the street, but I think it’ll do him good to be out of that room and that house. And, you’ll be able to keep an eye on him, a better eye than I would because he’ll just lock me out of his room.”
“He can stay there the rest of the summer if need be. Lyra, I’m going to tell my parents, okay?”
“Only them. No one else. I don’t want anyone to know about this. I’m not telling my mum.”
The pair fell silent then, just staring at their friend with empty eyes.
Corvus blinked his grey eyes open and was met with a dark room and a dark night. He’d done it. He immediately went to sit, but agony ripped through him, and he collapsed back to his bed as he heard movement.
“He’s awake. Scorp, get up.”
Lyra. He was alive.
She flicked the light on, dimming it when he winced, and, when he finally dared open his eyes again, he grit his teeth, staring at the white sheets and the obvious Mungo’s-esque room.
“Corvus,” Lyra sighed, touching his hand, but he just curled his fingers into fists.
“Why?” he snapped, turning his eyes to her in a hateful glare, “Why did you save me?”
His sister blinked, lips parted in a gasp.
“No,” he cut her off, and he turned his gaze away from her, shutting his eyes, “No.”
And she just stood there, silent tears slipping down her face, as he fell back into himself, letting himself die again from the inside out.
“Hey, you fuck,” Scorpius intervened after a slow minute had ticked by, “She loves you!” he finished in a shout, stalking over to Corvus’ bed, “You’re not going to treat your sister like that, Corvus! She is your best friend, and she just wants you to be happy! I don’t care if you don’t want to be alive! You fucking are, and you need to accept that and learn to live with it! I get it, you’re upset that your dad left. I would be, too. But you can’t keep taking it out on yourself. It wasn’t your fault.”
Corvus opened his mouth to retort, but Scorpius shook his head, stopping him, “It’s not your fault, Corvus. It’s not your fault.”
And Corvus crumbled, lower lip trembling.
“I’m sorry, Lyra,” he gasped, eyes becoming glassy with tears, “I’m so sorry.”
She rushed over to him, climbing onto the bed and allowing him to pull her into his arms.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, holding her tight, “I’m not going to leave you again, I promise. I’m here. I’m never going to hurt you like this again. I’m so sorry.”
And they sat there like that, brother and sister, making each other whole again, and Scorpius just collapsed in his chair with a heavy sigh. Corvus met his gaze, and he nodded, and Corvus understood. It wasn’t his fault.
Okay! So, that was shorter than I’d planned, but I think it went really well. I haven’t got much to say about this. Going into it, I knew exactly what I wanted to write and how I wanted to write it; it was just a matter of actually writing it. I’m really glad to have finally told his story, though, as I feel it really needed to be heard after everything in Radiant.
But! I have such good news for you guys! If you’re reading this, that probably means you’ve read at least Radiant and probably Unforgivable, which means you’ve been hearing a lot about, yes, Grazed Knees. If you noticed, the first chapter is currently posted! I’m very, very excited about this story as I’ve been working on it for a while now, and I really hope you guys like it. It’s a Draco/Hermione, and it’s going to be quite long, so go check that out!
That said, I do truly hope you all enjoyed this little story here, and who knows, maybe I’ll have another Radiant OC story up my sleeves someday. Until then, ciao.
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