So, ToujoursPadfoot created this little challenge. Please know this is NOT how I actually write.  If you want to read something I wrote that's good, go read my other stories.  This, ladies and gents, is 100% (or more!) TROLL. Please...I twitched the whole time I wrote it. It was painful. But I still wrote it!


Harry Potter sat on his bright pink bedspread, wishing his life would get butter. He tried numerous times to transfigure it into the Red Power Ranger bedspread, but it would only turn into the Pink Power Ranger.

He folded his socks with the lace trim on the ankle and sighed as he tossed them into his turnk. “Oh Hedwig, I just wish……………I WANT A RED POWER RANGERS BEDSPREAD! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?!?!?! I WANT TO BE FREE OF THE DURSLEyz!”

All of a sudden, Hedwig, the coolest most awesomest owl ever began singing the best song ever by the best coolest darkeddst band ever Good Charlotte. She sang “Hold On” and harry new it woul b otayu.

“Oh Headwig you the best freind I have hear away from Hogwarts school of witchkraft and whizargdree.” Harry said as he lace up his blak lace corset with purple leather ribbons. His blak leather pants hugged his calfs and hung off the rest of him. They had been Dudley’s, after all.

Suddenly the door to his tine room exploded. Uncle Vernon body slamed the door AGAIN.

“OMGZ wat ar u dping? Why is the Pink Power Ranger in this house?!” he whaled. Uncle Vanya had a really bad experience once with Power Rangers and buternutt squash.

“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!” Harry cryed indignantly. He flinged himself face-down on the bred and cried, but stoped when he realized his tears might ruin his leather pants.

Suddenly, Ginny apparated, even though she was twelve she was so smart and advanced she could aparate.

“harry dont cry I love you its ok!” she sighed lustily. When he looked up she looked like a dream she was wearing a red floor length dress like Sateen in Moulin Rouge.

As they hugged Hedwhig sag “Ny heart will go on” by that muggle singer...whoever it was. Then they plead tonsil hockey as Uncle Fernon watched.

Professor Snape and Lucius Malfoi apparated into hairy’s room and grabbed Hedwig.


Malfoy giggled seductively and said “We’re taking your owl to the DARK LORD VOLDIMOR!!”

Harry fainted. Uncle Vernon smiled. Granny signed.

Snape, who was narcoleptic, suddenly woke up. “What the devil is going in here?!” he bellowed.


Sape grabbed Harry and Genny and said “you’re coming too!”

Harey found hisself in a dungeon in hotwarts. Jenny was there to but now dhe was wearing cameo fatigues and laughing with Snape.

“OMGZ WAT IS GOING ON!” Hary yelled sadly. Giny laughed more.

“Im a Death Eatery now!” she laughed.

“NOOOOOOOOOO!” shrieked Harvey in a depressed way. He cried into his pink teddy bear so his leather pants wouldn’t get ruined by his vapid tears.

ALL OF A SUDDEN, the door broke down! It was………………………….VOLDIMOR!!!

Harry’s scar burned like a curling iron when he would sometimes accidently pick up the hot end with his fingers. Only it burned his forehead, lol!

“I’ve come to kill you, Harry Porter!” Voldimor roared. Before he could raise his wand and say a curse, someone else bust in. It was Legolas the elf and Dobby the house elf!

“Who art thou!” yelled Lucius Malfoy, brandishing his ultra-awesome snake cane that contained his wand.

“I am Legolas, Harry Potter’s true godfather!”

“DOBBY LLAMO SOY DOBBY!” the house elf shrieked. Dobby was a victim of a curse that made him capable of only speaking Spanish.

“Come, Harry Potter, we must go, or else—”

TWO BEE CONTINNUED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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