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“You may be the most cocky, cruel, over-powering tool bag I’ve ever come to know, but yet I have still found myself falling head over heels for you.” The words were ringing in my ears like bells or sirens. Time passed slowly as I just continuously sat on the ground, hoping that somehow he would come back for me. He would somehow come to the conclusion that leaving me there after that was a horrible mistake and he end up being my knight and shining armor, running back and sweeping me off my feet.

But that little fantasy of mine… never happened.

I can’t believe I ever built up the guts to tell him something like that. I guess in the heat of the moment, and for how long I’ve kept those emotions just bottled up inside me, they decided to come right on out without any self control on my behalf.

Trust me when I say that there could have been loads of more damage created though, if I would have continued all yelling. I could just image getting even more carried away, more than what was necessary. But I’m thankful, well sort of, for how the conversation actually turned out, even though it left me crying on the cold ground.  No way in a million years would I have guessed to be in this position right now because of something that a guy did to me? Never have I believed to be played by a guy one day and be hurt by another in the same day. Never.

And even though I didn’t really feel the strength do to so, I picked myself up casually, and began my long walk back to the Hogwarts castle. I had a feeling that Oliver was already back, and since I didn’t see Lucas or Elizabeth when I walked through Hogsmeade, I was also assuming that Elizabeth helped Lucas to the Hospital Wing to check out the damage that punch really had done.

Even though Oliver and I weren’t on good terms right now, it seemed, I must admit that the guy had a pretty good punch. The one he threw at Lucas was bloody powerful. You could definitely tell it was from anger and hatred.

My walk was quiet, with no one to talk to and no one to just keep me company. There weren’t many sounds either; just the wind blowing the trees and the smell of the first snow falls approaching. Winter was here, I could feel it, which meant that the next Quidditch match wouldn’t be too far behind. I was wondering if he would try to find a replacement for my replacement, if that was even possible. According to Oliver the last time I spoke to him on this matter, he said that there was no one with enough skill except for Lucas. And myself of course, but that wasn’t the point.

When I finally reached the castle I immediately made my way quickly to the Common Rooms, and when I walked through the portrait of the Fat Lady, I was greeted by Kate and Angelina. But before either of them could possibly make a comment, I held my hand up to pause them and said, “Not now.”

I didn’t feel like explaining anything to them. They wanted details, and I just wasn’t in a sharing mood. I ran up the stairs, threw off my heavy coat and shoes, and plopped down on my bed. No place ever felt safer, in my opinion. And with that, I instantly fell asleep. But the events of today were just replaying over and over again, like someone having a song stuck on repeat.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that the month of December was the worse month of my life. Winter was finally officially here now, and snow was covering the grounds, making everything look completely innocent and white for miles.

I would know, spending most of my free time looking out the small window in near my bed in the Common Room. Angelina and Katie, I knew were worrying about me. The heard from other people about what had happened that one night, which I knew would get around eventually. They have been trying to start conversation with me, but I wouldn’t let them. I was trying to damn hard to release all those memories away, and if I started talking about them, they would just defeat the purpose.

Oliver and I still weren’t on speaking terms. I barely have even made eye contact with him. I’m guessing he wanted it that way, or he would say something, anything to me. But no… I was still left with the cold shoulder. That’s what I hated about this whole situation. Not only did I lose a friend, but I lost something more dearly than that. I told him exactly how I felt, and he didn’t care. At least have the decency to tell me you don’t feel the same way. At least with that, I wouldn’t be constantly sitting here day-by-day wondering about it.

Guys can be so immature.

I found out that Oliver ended up not replacing Lucas on the team. He ended up playing the match, and Gryffindor won, but just barely. I heard rumors about how apparently Lucas wanted to purposely lose the match just to take some kind of revenge on Oliver for socking him in the face. But if that would have happened, I’m pretty sure more damage would happen because Oliver would be pissed if he had any chance of losing his precious chance at making it to the professionals.

I didn’t attend the match. I just didn’t care anymore. I didn’t care whether I was the best; I didn’t care whether I ended up making it to the pros anymore. I just didn’t give a damn. I was getting this cast off today, and after that, I was going to march right up to Oliver, whether he’s still pissed at me or not, and telling him I quit. I’m done. None of this is even worth it anymore. I’ll become a teacher like everyone else in this world.

Later that night, I walked out of the Hospital Wing with my newly healed arm. It felt weird not having something wrapped around it. It was about dinner time, when I ran into Kate in the hallways.

I smiled normally to her and waved, “Hello, what’s going on?”

“So you’re speaking again?” She didn’t say it rudely, but it wasn’t how we usually spoke to one another.

“I’m sorry, Katie. I just needed time to myself, I guess.”

She smiled weakly at me, “It’s alright.” And with that she hugged me. “I missed my best friend.”

“And I missed you too. But let’s go get some food, I’m starving.” She laughed and we walked to the Great Hall together. I sat by her and Angelina, and we started catching up on everything. It seemed like I missed a lot. Ang and Fred were now dating… go figure. And that’s what we spent most of the evening talking about. The thing I noticed though was that Oliver was not present.

I questioned them about it, “Where’s Oliver at?”

They stayed quiet until Angelina finally spoke up, “He hasn’t really been social for awhile, like you.” I just looked down at the now empty plate. “I heard he doesn’t come out of his room unless it’s something Quidditch related.”

I nodded. Both girls just looked at me. “What exactly happened that night?” Kate asked.

I shrugged, “You’ve heard.”

They laughed silently, “Yeah, but we’ve heard so many version of the same story, and we don’t know what to believe. We thought we would hear the official story from you right away, but that wasn’t the case.”

“Yeah, sorry about that.”

“Its fine, but seriously… what happened?” Ang questioned again.

“Short version….” I paused, not really wanting to continue. “Lucas wanted Elizabeth. Oliver got mad, thinking I was part of a scheme he had. Punched Lucas right in the face, and then I told Oliver how I felt…” they stopped me short.

“You told him?!” they asked in unison. I nodded. “Well, what happened?”

“He just left me there….” I said quietly. Their expressions were blank now. “So, I walked back to the castle by myself and now, here we are now.” They stayed quiet for awhile.

“Yeah, that’s nothing like anything we heard,” Ang said. “You should have told us.”

“I wanted to, but I just didn’t know what to do honestly.”

“We understand now,” Kate told me. I just smiled, having all those memories come back into my head. Kate continued on, “So you haven’t spoken to Oliver at all?” I just shook my head no.

“I need to find him though. I decided I’m going to quit the team.”

“WHAT?!” they said together.

“I wasn’t going to tell you guys, but I just feel more comfortable with it. I’ll still come watch you guys kick some ass though.”

Angelina stopped me, “Holly, seriously… you can’t quit. You’ll be leaving us with good-for-nothing Lucas and were done. There’s no way we’ll get near the house cup without you. Our last win was sheer luck.”

“Yeah, you can’t just quit because what had happen,” Katie said, with her sweet-toned voice. “Quidditch is your dream. Don’t give up on it.”

“I have to, girls.” I said, looking down. “It’s the only way I’m going to feel better about any of this.” They didn’t really say anything after that. So I stood up from the table. “I’m going to go and try to find Oliver. I’ll see you girls later.” And with that, I walked away. They were right. I shouldn’t quit, but I felt like it was my only option. Oliver didn’t want to be around me, neither did Lucas. And to keep my 7th year at Hogwarts a little less drama free, I needed to do something. I walked up the Common Rooms, and made my way up the stairs to the boys’ dormitory.

I suddenly felt nervous. I wanted to run away from there, and just crawl into my safe bed. But I didn’t this time. I knocked on the door gently. It took a while for someone to answer, but the door flew open and Fred appeared.

“Well, look who it is,” he said laughing. He hugged me randomly. “Hadn’t seen you in years, beautiful Miss Holly Williams.” He was so funny in his own way. “What can I do for you?”

I was hesitate to ask, “Um… is Oliver around?”

Fred’s face turned less happy all the sudden, “Yeah. He’s sleeping, I think.”

“Can I come in and talk to him?”

He nodded slowly, and let me step through. “Right through that door.” He pointed to a door off to the right side. I walked over, and knocked but there was no answer. I turned the knob slowly until the door was open enough for me to stick my head inside to take a peek.

Oliver wasn’t a sleep. He was sitting there on the edge of his bed, with only a pair of pajama pants on. He must have been cold. I walked through and closed the door behind me. Thinking he would look over to see you had enter, I was prepared to say hello. But he didn’t move. I gulped and walked over to him, slowly but surely.

“Hey stranger,” I said, quietly to him. He finally looked up and his face looked different. He seemed sleep-deprived and tired, and his eyes were puffy.

“What are you doing here?”

“I needed to talk to you.”

He suddenly focused his eyes down at my arm, “Your cast is off.”

I nodded, “Yeah. I got in removed this afternoon.”

“Good.”

Awkward silence crept into the room. Even though I’ve had moments of silence with him before, never were they awkward. “You can sit down, if you like.”

“Thanks, but I’ll stand.” I was happy he offered, but I was still mad at him. Seeing him for the first time since everything that went down between Lucas, Elizabeth, and him, it was awful feeling like he didn’t want to talk to me, or have anything to with me. “Um, I’ll make this quick so I can leave. But I came here to tell you I’m resigning for the Quidditch team.”

His face took on an expression of shock, “What… why?”

“Just personal reasons, that’s all.” I just shrugged it off, hoping I could leave now. But that wasn’t the case.

“Bullshit, Williams!” he stood up and started yelling.

“Excuse me?” I said, firing back anger toward him. “You have no right to yell at me.”

“You’re making a mistake!”

“Says who?”

“ME!” he yelled right in my face. “You love this just as much, if not more, than I do. And you’re just giving it up. Not only are you cheating out on yourself, but you’re being selfish.”

“How am I being selfish?”

He just rolled his eyes, “Did you ever take into consideration about what your teammates would think? How this will affect them… having our star Seeker for the past seven years just suddenly quit?”

“They’ll get over it.”

“Maybe, but deep down, you know you won’t.” He walked away from me, heading into the nearby rest room. I walked through him, pushed me, and slam the door shut behind me.

“How you do know I wouldn’t get over it? You don’t know me at all, Oliver Wood.”

“I know you better than a lot of other people.”

This time, I rolled my eyes. “Really?” he nodded. “Prove it.”

“Alright.” He said, clapping his hands together. “Let me guess… when you were little, you’re parents pressured you. A lot. You had to be perfect this, perfect that. And that included you and Quidditch. You grew up trying to be what your parents wanted, so you learned to bottle up your emotions. You couldn’t share anything with them, because you wanted to be strong. And let me tell you, you’re good at it. You’re not an easy book to read, Williams. But as I gradually got to know you, I realized that that’s just you. You don’t like showing people how you feel, and you’re afraid of getting hurt. So when you do get hurt, you feel so emotionally angry that you don’t know what to do.”

I just looked down at my feet. No one had ever said anything like that to me before.

“And then when there comes those rare moments when you actually let your guard down and share your feelings with someone… you over-think the situation and end up putting more blame onto yourself like you did something morally wrong. When in fact, you didn’t.”

At the moment, I sat down on the cold bathroom floor. I didn’t cry, I just sat there. I wanted to cry though, I wanted to cry with everything I had. “I can tell you want to cry,” Oliver suddenly said.

“Shut up, Wood.”

“This is what I mean… just cry. I was forceful and mean to you. Holly, seriously just cry.”

I looked up at him. He seemed so talk from down there, “You called me Holly.” One tear came from my eyes, and it reminded me of the day he left me sitting there in the cold, waiting for him to come back. But you know, he was right about one thing. I was strong, I wasn’t going to let anyone walk all over me like I was just a piece of scum.

I stood up straight, and looked him right in the eye. “Thank you. But you’re wrong about one thing.” I felt like I was whispering. “It’s not that I don’t always share my feelings to people, just most of them don’t care to listen.”

“What’s that suppose to mean?”

“You know what it bloody means!” I yelled. “You left me sitting there, on the ground after I told you that I liked you. A real human being would at least have the good decency to say something back, whether it meant turning the person down. But no, you left me after everything that went on that day. I never lied to you, I had no idea what the hell Lucas was doing. And you blamed me for everything. You made me feel so bad about myself that I sat in my room for three weeks because I felt no one would look at me the same way since that.”

“Holly….”

I stopped him, “Don’t talk anymore. There’s nothing you can say that would make this any better.”

We sat there in the bathroom, once again, silence falling between us. “Holly, look…” he tried again.

“I have to go,” I suddenly said. I opened the door, and Lucas was standing right there. A smirk came to his face.

“Aw did you two kiss and make up?” he asked, talking all babyish.

I walked straight up to him, and kneed him were the sun just doesn’t shine. He plopped to the floor, moaning in pain, and I just looked down at him. “Congratulations, Lucas. You’re now the full starting Seeker. Good luck.”

I stepped over him, and walked over to the door and turned the knob. Before walking out though, I turned around. Lucas was still rolling around on the floor and Oliver just staring at me. “Goodbye, Oliver.” I made my grand exit, walked out of the boys’ dormitory, and up to the girls’ where I took my shoes off, dropped onto my bed, and snuggled up into my sheets.

 

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Author's Note; Hi guys. So it's been a while since i updated on this story and I thought i was just going to leave it, never write it again, but I didn't want to do that. So I hope people like this chapter. Hope the title didn't confuse you, haha :)
 

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