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Hermione had to admit that she was involved in the weirdest relationship one could imagine. First things first she was with Draco of all people. That in itself was strange, and the way they had started was nothing more than a silly little game. In an odd twist of events they had both been waiting in line to get books autographed by a famous author. The first bit of words to cross between the two of them came from Draco, stating that it wasn’t surprising that she’d be in line at the crack of dawn just to get a book signed. Hermione had drawled that he shouldn’t have been talking since he was there for the same thing.

The wait in line was going to be a long one, for they were both pretty far behind and the shoppe wasn’t going to be open for another full hour. Hermione and Draco then decided to dive back into their childhood and play a small round of Truth or Dare, the “dare” part having to be omitted since neither could lose their place in line. So they both stood there telling each other their truths, scoffing at what was admitted, and looking surprised by hearing something unexpected. As the shoppe finally opened and the line finally started moving, Draco slipped in a dare that Hermione immediately began to protest.

“You can’t dare me, Malfoy.” She rolled her eyes. “What are you going to make me do? Punch the guy in front of me?”

“Technically I could.” He smiled, but then shook his head. “But I won’t. It’s a simple one, I swear.”

“Fine, what is it?”

“I dare you to go to lunch with me after this.”

Talk about a dare. Hermione hadn’t denied it, and they had been going out ever since. Now they were living together and had been for several months. Was it love in paradise? Absolutely not, though they said, “I love you” to each other every night. As Hermione had figured out long ago the relationship that they had was strange. She complained to her friends about Draco day and night and it was sure that he did the same with her. He drove her so mad that there were days that Hermione wanted to pull her hair out. He was so immature which caused her to act in the same way, and in the end they resorted to childish antics to get their way.

“You two are going to kill each other one day.” Ginny said one afternoon. “I don’t understand why you two are together.”

“I don’t know either.” Hermione admitted. “I’d just love to strangle him. He irritates me in ways that you couldn’t imagine, but Ginny,” She smiled here and kicked in a girlish giggle. “It’s so much fun.”

Fun when it was her turn to strike back at her love from doing something like flushing down her favorite bracelet down the toilet. She had jumped for joy when Draco screamed murder when he woke up with his face horribly disfigured under an Illusion Charm. Oh yes, Hermione had fun alright, and she loved him even more at each shout he gave from one of her pieces of revenge.

Because of this ongoing child-like war, waking up in the mornings was always a cautious one. Neither ever knew who was going to get it first and more importantly how. On the days when they worked it was fine. The limited time spent at home limited the attacks. But on days like this, a Saturday, it was going to be a fun-like and amusing hell.

Hermione stretched and woke up, snuggling up in the bed sheets and enjoying the warmth. After a few minutes of doing so she snapped her eyes open and rolled over onto her left side.

“Damn,” She muttered angrily. Draco was already up and out of bed. If there was one thing that she tried to make sure that she did was to wake up before him. Only Merlin knew what traps Draco had set up for her in the time that Hermione had spent lying in bed.

I have to be cautious… Hermione thought as she pushed the comforter from off of her. She surveyed the bedroom and found nothing out of place. Not that by doing so she would’ve found anything wrong with it in the first place. Draco knew how to cover his tracks. He was no amateur.

Sighing, she looked over the edge of the bed to make sure that there was nothing like sticky glue on the floor. Hermione had fell for that a day last week, having her feet stuck to the ground and being unable to move for several minutes until the spell making it so strong wore off. She placed one foot on the ground, and then the other. Nothing happened. She stood up looked around her once more and then reached for her robe. Hermione inspected it before putting it on. She then headed into the bathroom and flicked on the light.

“Nothing out of the ordinary here,” Hermione deemed, brushed her teeth after doing a thorough looking over of her tooth brush and tooth paste, and then hopped in the shower. When she was finished and dry, she magically dressed and headed out into the main hall to go to the living room and find Draco, who ended up finding her because he was going in her direction.

“Up at the crack of dawn were you?”

Draco cocked a brow at her. He was smiling and had an apple in his hand, tossing it up in the air and catching it without taking his eyes away from her. “I haven’t been up long.” He bit into the apple and Hermione huffed. She took a step to the left and so did he, both of them managing to walk in a circle and ending up standing in the other’s previous positions.

Hermione felt uneasy; especially because Draco was grinning relentlessly. “What exactly are you smiling for?”

“What?”Draco bit into the apple twice more and gave a clean swipe of his upper lip with his tongue. “I have to have a reason?”

“In this flat..? Yes.”

“Well, in that case it’s because I absolutely adore you.”

“Oh, please,” Hermione laughed off, trying her best not to look flushed. It was quite hard to love and fight with someone at the same time. There was always the possibility of falling for one of those many compliments that made your stomach flutter. Draco was gently laughing now and allowed his finished apple to magically land itself into the nearest trash bin.

“I think you’re turning red.”

“I am not.”

“Oh, I’d beg to differ.” Draco snickered. He turned around and headed towards the bedroom where Hermione had just come out of. She was scratching her head, completely puzzled and alarmed by him. She replayed his words countless of times in those few seconds because, in the time that she had been with him, Hermione learned that everything that Draco said had some sort of meaning. He didn’t have time for wasting words.

Hermione thought of what Draco could’ve possibly meant that she was “turning red” and then her eyes grew wide. Those words couldn’t have been literal, could they? She immediately ran into the bedroom where the love of her life had conjured a mirror and was standing near the bed with it in his hands.

“I think red is a lovely shade on you, don’t you think?”

“I... I don’t believe you! Draco!” Hermione was touching every inch of her, because every part of her was a faint red and, if she wasn’t mistaken, the shade was growing darker by the minute. “Why, you rat!”

“Now, now, I thought we were above name-calling?”

“I thought we were above skin discoloration! Draco, this is awful!”

“Yeah, I know.” Draco replied merrily as he set the mirror aside. “Now it’s time for breakfast.”

“Breakfast..?” Hermione was appalled. Here she was, turning into a beet, and he was talking about getting breakfast? She watched him nod, and walk pass her as he hummed a tune. She followed him, frantically rubbing her hands over her arms and seeing how red they were becoming. At this rate she would resemble a cherry in no time.


“Yes, love?” He was in the middle of cracking an egg into a frying pan and had stopped his action in order to turn to her.

“I can’t believe that you’re seriously making breakfast while I’m like this! When the hell did you even get the time to do this to me?”

“You took a shower this morning, didn’t you?”

“Yes, so what..?”

“It’s funny what happens when a skin and color charm mix together; especially when those two charms intertwine with the bathroom plumbing.”

“Oh! You fix me right now!” Hermione demanded. Draco just smiled and cracked the egg that he had been holding in his hand for three solid minutes and then grabbed another.

“I would, really, but reversing the effects on you takes concentration, and I can’t very well do that when I’m hungry.”

Hermione gave the loudest shout of frustration and let off a round of swear words to which Draco simply replied that he loved her too. She couldn’t believe it. She honestly couldn’t believe it. And by the time that he had finished making enough breakfast for the both of them, Hermione's hands were just under the shade of a crisp red apple.

She huffed as she ate, trying whole heartily not to enjoy what Draco had prepared. And speaking of the pest whom she hated to love, he had a peculiar way of eating. Unlike her, who preferred to place a little bit of everything on her fork (a bit of sausage, ham, and egg) and eat it at one time, he would rather eat all of his sausage, then the ham, and then the egg. Draco had already eaten the first two parts of his breakfast, and before moving on to the egg, he reached out for the salt, which he put on almost everything.

Hermione didn’t bother to fight her smile. Despite looking like she had contracted a rare disease, she let out a contented sigh and said calmly, “That’s not salt.”


“I said that that’s not salt.”

“It’s in the salt shaker, Hermione.”

“So?” She gave another soft smile as she gently dabbed at the corners of her mouth with her napkin. “I cleaned them out last night and refilled them, but, silly me, I placed the salt in the shaker for the pepper, and vice versa. That’s not salt.”

Draco eyed her curiously. He slowly moved his hand from the salt shaker and to the pepper, picked it up, and then stopped, putting it back down. He began shaking his head and gently laughing.



“That’s right, no.” Draco said smugly. “You’re trying to trick me. You want me to use the pepper shaker, but I’m not going to. Nice try though, but you’re not going to get me that way.”

Hermione didn’t reply to him but shrugged her shoulders. She watched him pick up the salt shaker as he was going to do and shake out a heavy load onto his eggs. She shook her head and sighed. She had warned him heavily about his salt intake and what that could do to him in the future. But did he ever listen to her? No, and Hermione smiled as she saw what the effects of not listening to her was doing to him.

Now, if there was one thing that Draco made sure that was perfect on him day in and day out was his hair. Hermione had constantly joked that he was really a woman because of how long he would spend in the mirror priming and styling it, giving her less amount of time for her to do the same for herself. And now that beautiful hair of his that Hermione so loved to run her hands through was gently and quickly receding. Her smile grew wider and wider at each step backward the strands of Draco’s hair took until it was completely gone.

She couldn’t take it. Hermione laughed. And Draco stopped in the middle of eating to figure out why his girlfriend was hysterically giggling across from him when nothing funny had happened.

“Well, aren’t you remembering one hell of a joke.”

“Actually it’s the opposite.” She said in between fits of laughter. “I’m seeing one hell of a joke.”

Draco was nervous now. He immediately dropped his fork onto his plate and raced from the kitchen and into their bedroom. Hermione hadn’t followed. She sat there laughing still and waited. She wanted to hear it. A second later she did; Draco’s scream of shock and horror, and that was when Hermione got up from her seat in the kitchen to meet him halfway from his journey from their bedroom back to the kitchen.

“You went way too far!” Draco said with wide eyes. His hands were wildly groping his head, feeling for any strand of hair but being unable to feel any. “Look at me! I’m completely bald! Hermione! How could you do this?”

Excuse me?” Hermione feigned innocence. “I do believe that I told you that that wasn’t salt.”

“But you knew! You knew I wouldn’t listen to you!”

“Did I? Well, if I did, then that was a very clever thing I just did.”


Hermione laughed. It was beautiful. The look on Draco’s face, the way he kept gliding his hands over his head that was now as smooth as a newborn’s bottom… Definitely one of my best, she thought dreamily, and drew herself in close proximity to Draco and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“I do admit that I’ll miss it.” She giggled as he quickly swiped a hand across his head, and Draco nearly growled.

“Fix it.” He ordered and Hermione shook her head.

“Me first,”

“What you did was worse!”

“And turning me into a tomato isn’t as equally horrible?”

Draco was trying not to, but he smiled. His losing his hair had temporarily made him forget that his love was red all over. Even her teeth were red, consequence of brushing her teeth with the contaminated water, and something that he was sure that she hadn’t even noticed.

He sighed and then kissed her, gently shaking his head as he pulled away. “What am I going to do with you?”

“What am I going to do with you?”

“Love me.”

“Then I advise that you do the same with me.” Hermione said smartly, and of course Draco agreed. They both reversed the magic that they had done to each other, and later on that night there were more childish antics such as Draco charming all of Hermione’s books so that every time she opened one to read they would beginning flapping around like birds and flying around the flat, and Hermione charming all of Draco’s clothes so that every time he touched something it shrunk to the size of his hand.

This was their lives, daily; full of games and laughs, and arguments that were never really serious. Yes, it was definitely the weirdest relationship Hermione had ever been in, but as she had told Ginny, it was so much fun.

author's note: and so this is what i was writing at three a.m. when i was bored this weekend lol. i really liked writing it because it's just so light and airy :)

hope that you guys liked it!! dont forget to leave a review and tell me what you think!!!

-WP :)

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