amazing picture by arushi at tda
Chapter 5: No More Excuses
Scorpius jumped a little as the door of his room flung open.
He sat up in his bed, placing the Quidditch magazine down. Rose Weasley was standing flat against the door of his bedroom, looking more beautiful than he had ever seen her in his life. She was wearing a pair of bright green pyjama shorts a white vest top. Her long red hair was falling down her shoulders in gracious waves. She wasn’t wearing any make up and yet her face looked strikingly beautiful. He could see her big brown eyes clearly in her slightly tanned face. Her lips were full and of a soft pink colour that matched the small blush on her cheeks. She had her hands behind her back, still holding onto the door knob just in case she needed a quick escape.
“What?” he asked her.
Her saw her breathe in deeply. “I... I just... I wanted to... say... I...”
Rose opened and closed her mouth like a gold fish a few times. She didn’t know what to say. He throat felt dry and her mind was blank as if she just didn’t know how to even formulate sentences anymore. How could she tell him everything she was feeling right now in a few simple words? He was staring at her, waiting for her to say something and yet she stayed silent, unable to utter a single sound.
“Weasley I haven’t got all night,” he said, rolling his eyes.
Scorpius hated how she switched personality so easily. He could never understand her or figure her out. One day she could be nice and the next she could be a complete bitch. All he wanted to do was to finally see who the real Rose Weasley. Was this her? The innocent looking, vulnerable young girl in front of him or the cold hearted ice queen he saw day in and day out? She had ignored him for most part of the week and now all of a sudden, she was talking to him again?
“Well?” he asked, his voice sounding irritated.
A small frown appeared on her face. She shook her head and turned to leave. Rose felt stupid. He obviously didn’t feel the same. She could hear it in the way he spoke to her. What could she expect? Did she seriously think he would welcome her with open arms? She had spent the whole week ignoring him as much as possible, and knowing Scorpius, he would have probably already moved on. She was just another notch of his bedpost, nothing else. She didn’t know what she thought would have happened by coming here. What was she meant to say to him anyway?
“Never mind, it’s nothing. Just pretend I never came.”
He frowned, feeling curious. “No, tell me.”
She opened the door, shaking her head again. “It’s nothing.”
He quickly stood up from his bed and walked towards her, stopping her before she could walk out. He grabbed her wrist and turned her around. He stared at her completely confused. She wasn’t being the usual insufferable cold Rose Weasley that wouldn’t talk to him unless she desperately needed to. For once she had dropped her façade and seemed to be acting like herself.
“What is it?” he asked her, his voice softer.
“Nothing!” she snapped at him, starting to feel annoyed herself. She yanked her arm away from his grip and breathed out deeply in frustration. This hadn’t gone as she had planned. And she hated it when things didn’t go like she wanted them to.
“Weasley, you walked into my room to obviously tell me something and now you won’t say a word?” He rolled his eyes at her. “Talk about women being bloody confusing.”
Rose poked his chest. “Well, maybe I just don’t want to tell you.”
“Yes, of course,” he replied sarcastically, poking her back on the shoulder. “That’s why you walked into my room.”
She huffed and looked away, a crease appearing on her forehead out of frustration.
“Well, are you going to tell me or what?” Scorpius asked her after a minute of complete silence.
“No,” said Rose stubbornly. If he was going to act like an impatient prat then she wouldn’t breathe a word. Hey, she was a stubborn Weasley and proud of it.
Scorpius’ curiosity took the better of him. He cocked his head to one side, as if he was trying his hardest to read her mind and figure her out. And he was. There was something intriguing about the red head in front of him. The way her doe like eyes were always attentive and perceptive, the way her face resembled the exact mood she was in, there was something about Rose that kept Scorpius interested in her.
Rose shook her head firmly.
“Go on,” he pressed.
“No,” she repeated stubbornly.
Scorpius was getting more and more curious. What was it that she so desperately didn’t want to tell him anymore? Why had she even come in the first place? Why was she suddenly talking to him now?
Yes, Rose Weasley was definitely intriguing.
“Spit it out,” he ordered her, crossing his arms.
She mimicked him. “No.”
A small smile twitched on his lips. She was definitely something else. “Fine, don’t tell me.”
“I won’t,” she said firmly.
“I don’t want to know anyway.”
He saw her expression change immediately.
“You don’t?” she asked, her voice quiet yet surprised.
“Nope,” he lied, laughing inwardly at her slightly shocked face. “I don’t care what you have to say. At all.”
“Really?” she asked him arching her eyebrow.
He nodded and turned around, walking away from her and lying back down on his bed. He smirked as he started re-reading his Quidditch magazine again. It would take her less than a minute for her to start feeling irritated by his behaviour and soon enough she would crack and tell him exactly why she was here in the first place.
Reverse psychology worked like magic on Rose Weasley.
“Yep,” he replied, pretending to be bored. “Close the door behind you when you leave. Cheers.”
Rose glared at him. He was so... infuriating! She preferred the Scorpius in her dreams and not the annoying, unbearable toe-rag he was in real life.
“If I wanted to tell you I would tell you anyway whether you care about what I have to say or not,” she responded, her hands on her hips and her foot tapping impatiently.
Scorpius bit back his laughter. He looked at her, over his magazine. “Well, I don’t care.”
“Good,” she counter backed. “Because it’s not like I want to tell you anyway. And that’s my choice. Not because you said you didn’t care.”
Rose knew she was losing her touch.
Scorpius waved her off with his hand. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
“It’s the truth and you know it,” she added, determined to win the argument.
“We both know you’re not telling me because I told you I don’t actually care,” he stated. “So unless there’s anything else, catch you later Weasley.”
Rose glared even more. “Well, you know what. I don’t care if you care or not... because I’m going to tell you anyway! And that’s my final decision, not influenced by you in any way. At all.”
Scorpius shrugged. He could half guess what it was about anyway. She was going to make a remark about how annoying he was, about how he never left her alone and how he was a terrible head boy. She would probably inform him on how he missed yet another meeting with the Prefects and have a go at him for not turning up. She would then say the only reason she hadn’t said anything was because she didn’t want to lecture him and she had hoped he would have learnt his lesson by now which he clearly hadn’t.
In other words, she would act like her mother, Hermione Weasley.
“Whatever,” he replied, his voice heavy.
Rose gathered all of the Gryffindor courage in the pit of her stomach. She inhaled deeply and pretended not to notice how he was ignoring her. She had a plan: she would say it, and then quickly turn around and make a run for it. That was as far as her courage would take her. Not to mention her pride. She could already feel her ego being damaged every single second she spent in his room. And yet she seemed to start caring less and less about her outwards image. She just needed to say those four words to him and then everything would eventually sort itself out. She couldn’t bottle it in anymore, it would start to eat her inside. She needed to tell someone and unfortunately, he seemed to be the only person that she could speak to about this situation. She didn’t even dare to think what would happen if she shared her feelings with Dom or Albus.
The red-head looked down at her feet. She didn’t want to see his face when she told him. What would he do? Would he reject her? Would he tell her that she was after everything, just another notch in his bedpost?
“I don’t regret it.”
Scorpius stopped the fake-reading of his Quidditch magazine. He slowly gazed towards Rose, who was staring firmly at the floor, looking more fragile and vulnerable than she ever did in her life. He sat up and stared at her in complete silence. He couldn’t quite believe it. Did she just say what he thought she just said? He just stared and stared at her waiting for her to laugh, smirk or in any way take back her words.
But she didn’t.
“What did you say?” he asked her slowly.
“I said I don’t regret it,” she repeated, looking up at him slightly and then turning her head away immediately. Rose knew this was the part where she had to make a run for it. But her feet seemed to be glued to the spot. It was like she was unable to move from there as much as she wanted to just turn around and run away.
It wasn’t long before he was standing right in front of her, his face as confused as ever. Rose still couldn’t look at him. She focused her eyes on the photograph she saw by the window. It was a picture of him and Susanne Zabini. It looked like a picture from their first ever day at Hogwarts, on platform 9 and ¾. Scorpius had his arm around Susanne’s shoulders and she had her head tucked under his neck. He was holding his thumb up at the camera while Susanne was sticking her tongue out cheekily. Rose smiled slightly at the picture of the two eleven year old kids. It was a nice picture, a picture that represented their friendship perfectly.
And in that moment she wondered why she had never taken a picture like that with Dom.
She strangely felt surprised at the sound of her name leaving his lips. She looked at him directly in the eyes, trying to be strong for once. She knew that somehow this still wouldn’t change anything. What were they going to do now? Get together? Would they really be able to give up their whole life just to be with each other? Maybe in the dream world yes, but in the real world the stakes were much higher and Rose didn’t know if they were both prepared to risk it all for something they weren’t even sure of.
“It still doesn’t change anything,” she told him.
“It does,” he replied.
She rolled her eyes. “Be realistic, Scorpius.”
He sighed. He knew she was right. As much deep down he wanted her to be wrong, he was fully aware of just how right she was. “It changes things for me... for us,” he answered truthfully. “But it doesn’t change anything else.”
Rose knew that only her dream Scorpius would be ready to risk everything for her. She knew that this Scorpius had a bit more common sense than the one her imagination had dreamt. Who was she kidding by coming here? Did she actually expect him to declare his undying love for her when she had told him the truth? That never happened in real life. She needed to stop dreaming.
“It can’t change anything else,” Rose added.
“I know,” he said.
She sighed, running a hand through her hair. “Then what are we going to do?” she asked him.
Scorpius didn’t reply immediately. He was completely entranced by the way she looked. Her eyes were bright and searching for answers in his, a loose strand of her hair had fallen over her face and her lips were parted ever so slightly. For one crazy second he wished that the school wasn’t wrapped in so much prejudice, he wished that it would be perfectly acceptable for a Gryffindor to date a Slytherin without anyone commenting or making snide remarks. He wished that Rose’s uncle had managed to achieve his goal. In a perfect world him and Rose could just give it a shot and see where it would take them. They wouldn’t have any need for lies or sneaking around. Scorpius wouldn’t have to keep anything from his friends just like Rose was doing with her family.
But that wasn’t the real world.
Rose waited patiently for him to say something. But the way he was looking at her was slowly driving her insane. His eyes, his grey eyes... he had never looked at her like that before. It was completely different from anything she had ever since before. His blonde hair was messy as usual and there was no trace of any smirks on his features. She tried to divert her eyes from his lips but that was all she could stare at. She resisted the urge to kiss him, fully knowing that it would only make everything more difficult and confusing than it already was.
“Scorpius?” she asked.
But he wasn’t really listening to her. Both of his hands reached out and touched either side of her face. Rose felt the butterflies inside her stomach erupt, his touch sending electric pulses down her body. She could feel both her cheeks burning and she knew she was probably blushing like mad. His face was inching closer and closer with each second and Rose felt as if she was in her own dream, minus the storm outside. He was close enough for her to see her own reflection in his eyes and for her to feel his hot breath wash over her face. She bit her lip nervously, her eyes staring into his. His thumb was stroking her cheek back and forth, his strong hands cupping her face in a protective way.
Scorpius felt as if he was reliving déjà vu. He could feel the same rush of emotions of the fatal night, come over him. He could feel his instinct ordering him to kiss her but he could also hear the voice of reason in his head recounting the events of the past week and just how much stress he had actually been under. He knew what it would lead to; he knew Rose wouldn’t stop him. She was the one that had come to his room in the first place!
Did he want to make the same mistake twice?
After what seemed like hours of silence, Scorpius finally broke the silence.
“Nothing,” he replied, his hands dropping to his sides almost in defeat.
Rose’s face dropped slightly. He wasn’t going to fight for her like she thought he would. “Nothing?” she repeated, her voice quiet.
“That’s the problem Rose,” Scorpius added. “It can’t change anything.”
Rose knew he was right. As much as she could have wanted for him to be wrong he was right and nothing she could do would ever change that. She looked down at her feet and nodded. “I know.”
He breathed in deeply, and she looked up for a mere second to see the state of confusion he was in. She had never seen him look so... helpless. His eyes were searching for answers in her own, answers she just couldn’t give. His hair was falling on his face and his jaw was tense, reflecting the conflicted and baffled state he was in. She wondered how she must have looked like to him, what he thought of her. Like a complete mess? As a total bitch that just messed up his life? The one thing he could never have?
Truth be told, Scorpius considered her to be all over the above. To him, Rose Wealsey was a seriously messed up girl who was too proud and stubborn to admit anything, liked destroying his life whenever she felt like it... and the one girl he knew he could never have. She would always be unattainable to him. He could covet her as much as he wanted, she would always put her family first, he knew her well enough to be one hundred percent sure about that. Rose would never betray her family, she would rather be unhappy for the rest of her life than let down any member of her family. It was as if they were on a pedestal and she would always look up to them no matter what. And yet, here she was standing in his room, talking to him about the very unlikely prospect of something happening between the two of them. Scorpius was confused by her behaviour. On one hand he knew she was the type of person to never let her family down, and yet isn’t that what she was doing right at that moment? Isn’t that what she had done last week when she had let herself go? Isn’t that what she was questioning right now?
“What do you want to do?” he asked her, feeling curious.
There must have been a reason for her to come to his room to tell him this. She must have expected a reaction to him, something must have made her change her mind. Something must have caused her to question everything she believed him. It was as if she was saying she was ready to act against her family for the prospect of being with... him.
Rose shook her head at him, a defeated laugh escaping her lips. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It does,” Scorpius repeated. She shook her head again. “It does to me.”
“No,” she answered stubbornly. “It won’t change anything. We’ve both been clear about this. We can’t let what happened change anything because the stakes are too high.” She sighed, running hand through her hair. “Scorpius, it doesn’t matter what you and I want. We need to think about everyone else.”
“I know that,” Scorpius said. “But I want to know, just for me. I want you to tell me what you want to do. Not what we’re meant to do, what you actually want to do about this whole situation? Please. I just want to know.”
“In a perfect world, we wouldn’t even have to talk over it,” she replied. “It would be as easy as anything can be. We’d just try it out, see if it worked, our friends and families would be supportive and we would see where that would take us.” She looked boldly into his eyes. “But we live in the real world, and no matter how much I want that dream world to be reality, it isn’t. So what I want doesn’t even matter.”
“You’d give us a shot?” he asked her, sounding very surprised.
She nodded again.
“Yes, I would give us a shot.”
It was as if he had been waiting for her to say that all along. The words ignited something in him, as if they were re-opening the door to an addiction and that addiction was her, Rose. In a matter of seconds, he had her pinned up against his bedroom door, his lips crashing onto hers as if it was the last time. Her hands were in his hair while his adored her body as much as they could. It was as if she was a drug and as much as he should have stayed away from her, as dangerous as she was to him, he could never get enough of her. Her skin felt so soft under his fingertips and her lips tasted like sweet strawberries. Not to mention how she was responding to his kiss with just as much passion as him. It was like all the tension from the past week was realising itself onto the kiss, showing to both of them just how much they really wanted each other.
When the need for air became too great to be ignored, they both pulled apart, their faces only inches apart and their noses touching each other lightly. Rose looked straight at him, her eyes pleading him to solve everything. Yet, he just looked more confused than before, as if he couldn’t understand why they were both feeling like this. What was it that made them want each other so bad?
“We can’t,” she whispered.
And yet, with every word, they convinced themselves less and less.
“It’s dangerous,” she added.
He stared at her intensely, his eyes burning into hers.
“It’s impossible,” he said.
Her fingers traced his upper lip, her willpower quickly slipping from her.
Her voice was weak and her protests seemed feeble. Scorpius almost couldn’t take it anymore. The excuses didn’t make sense anymore. Nothing did. Not now. Not in that moment. She was the only thing he could think about.
“But...” he repeated.
Their lips collided passionately again, before Rose could even reply. Scorpius was holding onto her as if he was never going to let go and Rose felt like she could be in heaven. His lips were addictive, his touch was electrifying, making her feel absolutely amazing. All she wanted to do was stay there and kiss him, she wanted to let herself go completely in his arms, melt away and forget about everything else. Did any of it even matter as much as him? Was it worth losing him because of it? What side was she going to choose? As her brain rattled through these confusing thoughts and tried desperately to not lose control of her own body a flashback of a couple of months back swept across her mind, as if it was the answer to all her questions.
“Hugo, my dear cousin, I love you, but do you really feel the need to spread yourself around like that?” Dom asked Hugo, smirking as he finished telling the tale of his latest relationship.
He laughed. “Dom, what makes you think I’m ‘spreading myself around’ as you so nicely put it?”
Dom looked at him shocked. “Are you telling me that you never...”
Hugo shook his head, chuckling to himself. “Even I have principles, Dom. I’m waiting for the right girl.”
She pretended to wipe a tear from her eye, as if she was a proud parent staring her genius child. “I’m so proud of you Hugo. Give me a hug!” She bear hugged him dramatically as he resisted the urge to roll his eyes at her. Dom could be such a drama queen sometimes.
Rose sighed in relief. “Oh thank God. No need to call the doctor to check you out then.”
Hugo stuck his tongue out at her, shaking Dom off of him. “It’s not me you have to worry about, it’s you Rose.” Rose glared at her brother. “You’re spending so much time with that Malfoy he might corrupt you. Then the doctor will definitely need to check you out. Fraternising with Slytherins, I’m wondering why Mum and Dad haven’t booked you an appointment yet.”
“Excuse me?” Rose asked him, imitating her mother’s angry look flawlessly.
Hugo looked at Dom for support. “Dom, if Malfoy wasn’t a Slytherin would you think he was good looking?”
Dom looked disgusted. “Hugo Weasley, you are insulting my taste in men.” Her eyebrow rose. “Why? Would you, Hugo? Are you trying to confess something?”
Hugo rolled his eyes. “Part of my image is to recognize my rivals,” he explained. “Malfoy happens to be one of them according to many girls. Kevin and Dwayne both agree with me. He’s one of our biggest rivals, not because he gets around a lot, we have an upper hand on that, but because of his good looks.”
Rose caught up on what Hugo was saying. “Don’t worry bro, Malfoy will never corrupt me or get close to me in any way what so ever. You forget I’m more like Dad. I would never stoop that low.”
Dom nodded. “Yeah, come on Hugo, it’s Perfect Princess Rose we’re talking about.”
Rose threw her brother’s pillow at her cousins’ face. “Shut it you and stop being so sarcastic.”
“Sorry Ro,” Dom added. “But I’m never going to let the Jane thing go.”
Rose growled at her.
But Hugo wasn’t in the same joking mood as Dom. “I mean it Rose, don’t let Malfoy corrupt you.”
Rose have Hugo a weird look. She would never let that happen and he knew it. Everyone knew it. So why was he so worried. “I won’t Hugo, don’t worry.”
“Promise?” he asked her.
Rose pushed Scopius away, shaking her head.
“I can’t, no... I c-can’t... I’m sorry...”
“Rose...” Scorpius was feeling even more confused. She was kissing him and showing him every sign that she wanted to be with him and yet at the same time she was making up all these excuses to not be with him.
She shook her head more, keeping him at arm’s length. “You don’t understand... I promised...” Rose tried to compose herself. “I promised I wouldn’t fall for you, I promised Hugo I wouldn’t let you get to me just... just because you were Head Boy and I was Head Girl.” She tried in every way to make him see sense. “I can’t Scorpius, why don’t you understand that?”
Scorpius stepped away from her, feeling angry. He let out an angry sign, unable to keep his rage under control anymore. She was being such a hypocrite. She was messing with his head, her words, her actions, her kisses... she was getting to him so badly. He couldn’t look at her because he knew he would just melt at the sight of her, he knew he would just march right back up to her and kiss her over and over again. He didn’t want to feel this way, it was frustrating him more than anything else. She was causing him more stress than the NEWTs exams which were only a few months away. Why did she have such an effect on him? It was taking over his life. All he could think about was her, all he wanted was her. He wished she would just stop making up these stupid excuses.
“Fucking hell, Rose! What do you want from me?” She looked at him clueless. “What do you actually want from me? You come into my room, you tell me you would give us a shot, you... we... we kissed! Twice! And now you tell me you can’t? That you promised? It’s bullshit Rose!”
“You don’t understand!” she shouted back. “You don’t understand anything!”
“I don’t understand? Me?” He scoffed. “If you stopped being so selfish for once single moment you would realise that it isn’t just your precious family that would be against this, against us. My parents, my friends, everyone I know would curse me to oblivion for this!”
“Then why are you trying to make this happen?” she asked him. “You’re the one that’s trying to hold on... you’re the one that wants to-”
“You came to my room!” he yelled.
“You kissed me first! Both times!” she screamed back.
His eyebrow rose. “You kissed me back! Both times!”
“But you still kissed me first!” she spat back.
“Then why are you still here?” he asked her. “If you don’t want to do anything Rose, then go! Go!” She glared at him while he practically ordered her to get out. “Why are you still here? Go, Rose, get out!”
“Because I’m falling for you, damn it!”
Scorpius fell silent. He stared at her, gazed at how a single tear fell down her cheek. Her lips were trembling, her eyes showed nothing but fear and her small petite figure looked so vulnerable and innocent.
“You’re... falling for me?” he asked incredulous.
She nodded, looking down at her feet. “Yes.”
He let out a sigh of complete confusion. She was messing with his head again. She was puzzling him more and more. He couldn’t take it anymore. He needed straight answers now. “Then why do you keep making excuses...? If you didn’t want to feel that way why would you come here...?”
“Because...” Rose searched for the right words. “Because I want you to say you will never want this. I want you to say I’m crazy for even thinking this could ever work out, that you don’t like me. I want you to tell me that you don’t want me!”
“I told you, I’m not going to lie to you...”
“Scorpius, you have to, please,” she pleaded, more tears falling from her eyes. “Please, please, just tell me that you’re going to forget that night, that you never think of me and that you don’t want me.”
He shook his head. “I don’t want any more excuses Rose.” She tried to interrupt him but he didn’t let her. “No more excuses.”
“Because I’ll never forget that night, I am always thinking of you and...” When Rose looked up she was slightly shocked to see him standing right in front of her, his expression soft and caring. “And I do want you. I always will.”
Rose wanted to make more excuses but she knew she had used them all by now. And he had contradicted every single one of her excuses. He had proved how worthless and pathetic they all were. She couldn’t care about the consequences anymore, she had passed that line... she was so far over that line she could never go back now. So she did the only thing she could, the only thing that had any meaning.
She kissed him and this time, she didn’t stop.
Hey everyone! I'm sorry for the horrible wait, I hope you can forgive me. School did start so I had less time available to write this chapter. I hope you like it, Scropius and Rose finally confronted each other about everything! I also wanted to thank all of you for all the reviews you've left on this story, I really didn't think it would be this popular. Thank you so much.
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