Disclaimer: You know the drill. It was Christmas break at Hogwarts, and the only students remaining for the holidays were a group of Gryffindors and Draco Malfoy. Everyone was gathered in the Great Hall for dinner, when Fred and George Weasley stood up in front of everyone to make an announcement. “Listen up everyone!” yelled Fred waving his arms, “In ten minutes we’ll be playing a game of truth or dare!” “Anyone who wants to play meet in the Room of Requirement!” George finished for his brother. Ten minutes later several Gryffindors were gathered in the Room of Requirement including: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Fred, George, Neville, Seamus, Dean, Parvati, Lavender, Angelina, Alicia, and Katie. Just as the group was about ready to start, Draco Malfoy walked in. “What are you doing here?” snapped Fred. “Yeah, why would you want to play with a bunch of Gryffindors?” asked George. “Well, if you must know, being the only Slytherin staying for the holidays my choices were either hang around the dungeons with Snape while he wallows in self pity, or come here and watch you Gryffindors make fools out of yourselves, I chose the latter.” Draco drawled. “Okay, does everyone know how to play?” Hermione inquired. “Of course we do, mudblood, it’s not really a muggle game you know, wizards started it thousands of years ago!” Draco said with a smirk. “Shut up, Malfoy, if you’re going to play with us the least you could do is be civil.” Snapped Harry. “Okay I’ll go first,” said Fred, “Malfoy, truth or dare?” “Dare!” said Malfoy with disdain “Okay then, I dare you to owl a love letter to professor Dumbledore.” Fred said smiling, “now get some parchment and copy down what I tell you!” Draco reluctantly picked up a roll of parchment and copied down what Fred told him. The letter read: Dearest Professor Dumbledore, I may act like a cold-hearted Slytherin tosser, but on the inside I am as sensitive as a hippogriff. I am writing to you to express my deepest admiration for you, and your long sexy beard. I am revealing my deepest secret; Albus, I love you. Love always and forever, Draco Malfoy Harry laughed harder than anyone in the room as Draco read it out loud. “Happy? Now I’ll just go to the owlery and send it.” Draco scoffed. “Oh no you don’t! Angelina will take it, that way we’ll be sure it really gets delivered!” Fred responded. Angelina laughed as she grabbed the letter from Draco, and set off for the owlery. “Alright it’s my turn now!” Draco stated, “Potter! Truth or dare?” “Dare!” said Harry nonchalantly. “Okay Potter, since you thought my little stunt was so funny, I dare you to write a love letter to Professor Snape!” Harry’s face fell, but he pulled out some parchment and began to scribble down a note very similar to Draco’s, and gave it to Katie to take to the owlery. “Okay, then,” said Harry, “Lavender, truth or dare?” “Um…truth.” Replied Lavender timidly. “Wait!” Hermione interrupted, “first take some truth potion!” She looked around the room and noticed a box in the corner labeled: Everything You Could Ever Need to Play Truth or Dare. She peered into the box and pulled out a vial, then handed it to Lavender. Lavender drank the vial, and then everyone turned to Harry. “Lavender, which professor has the cutest butt?” asked Harry. “Professor Snape,” said Lavender blushing. Everyone in the room gave a look of disgust, wishing that question hadn’t been asked. “Alright then, I pick…Ron, truth or dare?” questioned Lavender. “Dare.” Said Ron looking slightly nervous, but he didn’t want to divulge any secrets so he was confident with his choice. “I dare you to kiss the author!” Said Lavender “What?” Ron said incredulously. “Kiss the author, Rachel.” Lavender said. “But…that can’t work…” Ron said confused. “Ron! This is my story do as I say, Lavender dared you to kiss me, so do it!” Shouted Rachel. “Alright already!” Said Ron, and he got up and kissed the author. “And Fred, I dare you to kiss the other author, Annika!” Said Lavender. “What? Your turn is over, you can’t do that!” exclaimed Fred. “Fred, this is my story, I can make you do whatever I want!” Annika reminded him. “Fine.” Fred replied as he got up and kissed her. “Now it’s my turn!” Said Ron, “Parvati, truth or dare?” “Truth.” Replied Parvati, as she drank a vial of truth potion. “What is the sexiest thing about Draco Malfoy?” asked Ron. “Absolutely nothing!” Retorted Parvati, “he is NOT sexy!” “What? She’s lying!” yelled Draco. “She took truth potion, Malfoy, face it you’re not sexy!” said Harry with a laugh. “Stop arguing and let me take my turn!” Parvati cut in, “Ginny, truth or dare?” “Dare.” Said Ginny confidently. “I dare you to ask Snape to braid your hair, and you are not allowed to leave until you convince him to do it.” Ginny laughed, and the whole group got up to head toward the dungeons. Ginny knocked on Snape’s office door, and the rest watched from a safe, hidden distance. “What do you want, Miss Weasley?” Snape asked bitterly. “I was just wondering if you could braid my hair.” Said Ginny sweetly. “What are you talking about you idiot girl?” Snape snapped. “Please professor, I really need some help and I can’t find anyone else, I won’t leave until you do it.” Ginny replied. “Alright if it will get rid of you! And be sure to tell Mr. Potter his little letter was very unappreciated next time you see him!” Snape exclaimed and walked behind her and began to braid her hair, tugging at it forcefully. Ginny could have vomited at Snape touching her hair, and she vowed to shower as soon as possible. Soon the group was back in the Room of Requirement laughing at Ginny’s lopsided braids and disgusted facial expression. “Someone’s going to get it now!” Said Ginny angrily, her temper beginning to flare. “Seamus!” She snapped, “Truth or dare?” “Dare.” Said Seamus looking rather sure of himself. “Ok Seamus, I dare you to propose to professor McGonagall!” Said Ginny with a satisfied smirk. “Alright.” Seamus said looking petrified. The whole group followed him to McGonagall’s office, where they again, watched hidden from a safe distance. When McGonagall appeared in the doorway of her office, Seamus got down on one knee and began. “Professor McGonagall, I know I don’t have a ring, but would you do the honor of marrying me?” Asked Seamus, acting as though he meant it. “Mr. Finnegan, I don’t know what type of a game you are playing, but it is not funny, five points from Gryffindor!” Said McGonagall, turning red. When the group returned to the Room of Requirement, they couldn’t contain their laughter. When they finally got themselves under control, Seamus continued the game. “George, truth or dare?” Seamus questioned. “Eh, we haven’t had a truth in a while, but make it good.” Said George. “Ok, you’re stranded on an island with one person and you have to repopulate the entire world together. Who would you choose to be with you?” Seamus asked. “I guess it would have to be Katie Bell.” George replied. Katie blushed, but ducked her head so that her hair covered her face. “Ok, Hermione, truth or dare?” asked George. “Dare.” Said Hermione after taking a moment to think it through. “Ok, I dare you to walk through the entire castle wearing a shirt that says ‘I Love Snape’ make sure Snape sees you even if you have to knock on his office door.” Said George. “And kiss Snape when you see him!” Fred added. “Yes, kiss him too!” George confirmed. He walked over to the box in the corner and sure enough, found a black t-shirt that read ‘I LOVE SNAPE’ in big, red letters. Hermione put it on and left the Room of Requirement. Harry pulled his invisibility cloak out of his robes and went to follow her, making sure she ran into Snape. When they returned, Harry confirmed that she had not only met up with Snape, who gave her detention, but all the other professors in the castle as well. “Did she kiss him?” Asked Parvati looking as though she was about to vomit. “Well, yes, on the cheek.” Said Harry turning a pale greenish color and making a face of disgust. “On the cheek? Hermione…” George started. Hermione cut him off, “You never specified WHERE you just said to kiss him!” George screwed up his face realizing she was right. “Now if you’ll all pay attention it’s my turn! Angelina, truth or dare?” “Dare!” Said Angelina, sure that Hermione wouldn’t come up with anything worse than daring her to do extra credit assignments. “Alright, I dare you to propose to Snape and act like you mean it, hold his hand or something. I quite enjoyed that dare that Ginny gave Seamus, only I think you’ll agree this way is much worse.” “I’m not the one that made you kiss Snape, Hermione but thanks for taking it out on me.” She said sarcastically, glaring at George. The group headed towards the dungeons, and everyone hid around corners while Angelina knocked on the door to Snape’s office. “What do you want Miss Johnson?” He practically yelled, very annoyed by the Gryffindors tonight. “Snapey,” Angelina started taking his hand, and acting very serious, “will you marry me?” “MISS JOHNSON! I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU GRYFFINDORS TONIGHT, BUT THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE, DETENTION ALL THIS MONTH!” Snape bellowed. Angelina ran out of the room laughing uncontrollably. “I think ‘Snapey’ was a nice touch.” Draco sneered back in the Room of Requirement. “Oh shut up, my next victim is…Alicia, truth or dare?” “Truth.” Alicia replied as Alicia downed a vial of truth potion, “Alright, what is the sexiest thing about Harry Potter?” “Um…his hair.” Alicia practically whispered. Harry blushed. “How can my hair be sexy, it won’t even stay in place?” Harry wondered out loud. “Well that’s the point isn’t it? That’s what makes it sexy.” Alicia responded as Harry sat there looking very confused. Draco sneered. “There’s nothing sexy about ME, but she has no trouble thinking of something to say for scarface? What’s wrong with you people.” He said pouting. “Shut up and let me take my turn, Malfoy.” Snapped Alicia, “So…Dean, truth or dare?” “Dare.” Said Dean, sounding rather bored. “I dare you to cast a spell to turn professor McGonagall’s hair shocking pink.” Said Alicia. “Haven’t enough of us gotten detention tonight?” Inquired Dean. “Well, don’t get caught then!” Alicia replied. The group of them followed Dean around the hallway, hiding around corners until he told them the coast was clear. Dean finally saw McGonagall from the back near the girls’ washroom. “Capellirosa!” Dean shouted then ran around the corner into an empty classroom where everyone else was hiding. When McGonagall walked by, her hair had random splotches of shocking pink in it, but had not fully changed. “That was boring, the spell didn’t even fully work!” Draco whined. “You’re just jealous that you’re not sexy and Harry is.” Ginny replied. Harry pretended not to hear any of it. “Besides, I think it looks even funnier this way.” Alicia added as they headed back to the Room of Requirement. “Ok, who hasn’t gone yet…Katie, truth or dare?” Asked Dean. “Truth.” Said Katie. “Out of all the boys in the room, who do you think is the best kisser, just on a guess?” Asked Dean. “Um…I’d have to say one of the twins.” Said Katie, most of the other boys, Dean in particular, looked crushed. “Neville’s the only one that hasn’t gone yet, so, Neville, truth or dare?” Katie asked. “Dare.” Said Neville a bit hesitantly. “Neville, I dare you to run around the whole school wearing a dress.” She got up and walked to the box in the corner. She rummaged through it for a while before pulling out a spaghetti-strapped, knee length sundress in Pepto-Bismol pink, covered in flowers and lace. Neville quickly put it on and left to run around the school, the rest of the group following a few meters behind. After running into Snape, Dumbledore, Flitwick, and McGonagall, Katie told Neville he’d completed the dare, and they returned to the room of requirement. “I have a dare for the lot of you.” Draco said, “gather up your copies of The Monster Book of Monsters and put them all in Flitwick’s office.” “We’ll do it.” Said Harry, “but let’s put them in Snape’s office instead.” The whole group cheered and ran off to get the books, everyone except for Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny. Hermione walked up to Harry, grabbed his wrist and pulled him aside. “I have one last dare for you Harry,” she said, “I dare you to kiss Ginny.” She said with a proud grin. “Ok Hermione, I’ll do it, but then I dare you to kiss Ron.” He replied with an equal grin. “Deal.” Hermione said. She watched as Harry walked over to Ginny, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. When neither of them pulled back quickly, she looked to Ron and noticed him scowling at the couple. Hermione took this as her cue and walked over to Ron and kissed him right on the lips. Harry pulled back and smiled at Ginny, who was smiling back at him. Then he turned around and saw Hermione kissing Ron, he laughed silently to himself, then turned back to Ginny, and kissed her again. Suddenly, Harry remembered the group dare. “Hey, guys, we have to go get our books and put them in Snape’s office.” The four of them ran off to get their books, and after completing the dare, they went to bed. Snape was not in a particularly good mood after encountering several adolescent girls from Gryffindor trying to hit on him. To subdue his anger he went up to discuss relaxation methods with Dumbledore. As Snape went up to Dumbledore’s office the books were in their place ready for an unknowing victim to walk in on them. Snape came back down to the dungeon an hour later carrying a box titled: Aromatherapy for the disgruntled. He took his wand out and unlocked the door. He noticed that the torches had been put out. He yelled an incantation and two of the torches lit up. Snape looked around and saw that there was broken glass everywhere. Snape’s eyes narrowed and he looked around suspiciously with his wand ready to defend himself. He saw a closet in the corner rumbling, assuming it was a boggart he opened it. He knew how to handle a boggart, but this was no boggart. Something came out at high speed and tackled him to the ground. Snape opened his eyes and to his shock he was face to face with The Monster book of Monsters. The book growled at him and he threw it off his chest quickly, reaching for his wand. He didn’t see the book anywhere; he knew this couldn’t be good. He sat up and looked in the open closet. He saw more of them. Suddenly he was attacked from behind as two more books came towards him. He managed to get them off, and he watched in horror as one of the books began to chew up his wand. He stood up and flung the books away from him. He picked up the end of his robe, to which a book was clinging on, and shook it off. The book took a large quantity of the fabric with it. “I just purchased this robe!” Snape hissed angrily taking a book and pulling it off his desk, which he used to hit another book. It squealed in pain and the other books became angry. Snape remembered the closet and he ran to shut it, knowing more books were inside. He wasn’t quick enough, and three more books tackled him. More books than he could defend himself against now surrounded him. He was hopeless. He got his wand out and yelled a spell, but the wand backfired and sent him falling into the closet. All the books pounced on poor Snape. A mere fifteen minutes later Severus Snape came up from the dungeon. He was in rags with several copies of The Monster Book of Monsters chasing after him. His robe was completely gone, and a quarter of his shirt. His pants had become useless, as the seat of them had been ripped out, as well as the seat of his underwear. He made it to the hall of the moving staircases. He jumped on a moving stairway and made his way to Professor McGonagall’s office. He pounded on the door ruthlessly and she opened it. She looked angry as ever, as she had just discovered her bright pink patches of hair. “McGonagall! They’re after me.” Snape exclaimed with wild eyes. “Severus?” She asked confused, yet angry at the same time.” The books…they’ve come.” Snape whispered in a haunting tone. He wiped his tangled greasy hair out of his eyes and tugged on McGonagall’s bathrobe. “Oh pull yourself together!” She exclaimed and pulled him up by the remainder of his shirt, smacking him across the face. Immediately he changed back to his normal self. “Yes, well, I better go see Madame Pomfrey about this.” He said. Smiling weakly, he got up and walked to the infirmary. McGonagall watched as he left, and to her horror she received a rather clear view of a full moon. She figured she could never look at him the same way again. AN: We wrote this for fun when we got bored, hope you got a laugh or two out of it.
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