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Here we go again by siobhan_malfoy
Chapter 6 : She’s a saucy minx that Moaning Myrtle.
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 17

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Rose was furious, angrier than I’d ever seen her actually, and thankfully, it was not aimed at me. The recipient of her rage however, seemed unconcerned.

“Hello princess,” Scorpius Malfoy smirked at me.

“Do not call me that,” I said through gritted teeth “besides, shouldn’t you be hiding under a rock somewhere, Rose wants to kill you right now you know.”

He just chuckled “no, she doesn’t.”

“Yes...” I said slowly “she does.”

Scorpius sighed “dearest darling Dominique, so naive, Rose does not want to kill me, she wants to have sex with me.”

I snorted “sure... Rose isn’t the type.”

Scorpius looked amused “the type for what? Sex? She isn’t a nun Princess, and the sooner the rest of you Weasley’s realise that the better.”

“I didn’t mean she's not the type for sex,” I said indignantly even though that was exactly what I had meant “I just meant she's not the type to go for a wanker like you.”

“Sure she’s not,” he said with a smirk.

“You got her detention...” I said slowly “she could cheerfully kill you right now.”

Malfoy winked “kinky.”

It was our last night of detention together, my sentence finished tonight, Malfoy however, would be continuing his detentions for another week along with Rose, both of them as punishment for the groin stabbing incident.

“Besides,” Malfoy continued the conversation without even looking up from his cauldron he was supposed to be scrubbing “speaking of sex, when are you going to give it up and just shag poor Scamander?”

“Excuse me?” I dropped my scrubbing brush and turned to glare at him “I am never going to shag Lysander Scamander... ever!”

Malfoy just chuckled “sure you're not.”

I chose, rather maturely in my opinion, to ignore him and continue scrubbing, insanely thankful that my time in detention was coming to an end and come tomorrow night, he was Roses problem.



The next morning dawned clear and bright and Rose woke me, her cheeks flushed with excitement “it's snowing!” she exclaimed.

I sprang out of bed and ran to the window, both of us grinning as we saw the blanket of white which had covered the grounds.

“I say we skip first period today and have a snow fight,” I said with a wicked grin.

Rose glared and put her hands on her hips firmly “not funny Dom.”

I rolled my eyes and began to get dressed “it was worth a shot.”



“We’re skipping first period,” Al announced as he sat down to breakfast across from Rose “Lily and Roxie are in as well.”

“We are not skipping first period!” exclaimed Rose angrily.

“It’s tradition!” Hugo looked horrified as he turned away from his friends further down the table to join our discussion “we always have a snow fight the morning of the first snowfall of winter!”

Rose shook her head “That’s because James and Freddy would kidnap us from our beds and prevent us from going to class!”

I snorted “excuse me? Prevent us? You were the only one who ever objected to not going to class.”

“Please Rose!” Louis and Lucy scooted down the table towards us their eyes pleading.

We all looked at Rose hopefully and she glared “Peer Pressure!”

“True,” I acknowledged “but you know you want to! Please Rose! I'm dying to roll around in the snow!”

An amused voice sounded from behind us “go track down Scamander then, I'm sure he’d be happy to oblige you Dominique my darling.”

I didn’t even have to turn around to know whom I was giving the finger to in response

“Go fuck yourself Malfoy,” was Hugo’s cheerful suggestion.

“I’d rather fuck your sister,” said Malfoy calmly, leaning over Rose to steal a piece of her toast.

The table fell silent, and inwardly I groaned, Rose, interestingly enough, did not react by yelling or glaring at Malfoy, instead she blanched, looking almost frightened as she watched Al and Hugo.

“What did you just say?” Al’s tone was deadly.

Malfoy chuckled “I said that while Weaslys suggestion that I pleasure myself is... appealing, I would so much prefer to have Rose do it for me.”

Al and Hugo both stood up menacingly drawing their wands, rather than joining them Rose jumped to her feet “shut up,” she snapped furiously, her worry gone “Malfoy, outside, now!”

Malfoy, rather than looking afraid just chuckled and allowed her to drag him out of the hall, a smirk plastered on his lips.

Albus was white with fury as he sat down “I'm going to kill him.”

“Let me know if you want my help,” Lucy offered, she alone out of everyone had not even looked up from her food while Malfoy was beside us.

“What can you do?” Hugo snorted.

Lucy sighed “must we go through this again? Just because I'm young, female and pretty does not negate the fact that I'm extremely dangerous!”

Hugo barely smothered a chuckle and Lucy glared at him before moving away from us down the table towards the other second years.

Louis glared at Hugo, protective as ever of Lucy “well done idiot,” he muttered picking up his food and joining her further along the table.

I raised one eyebrow “Hugo, your tact astounds me sometimes.”

He snorted “coming from the girl who’s about as subtle as a hex to the groin?”

“Speaking of groin hexes,” said Albus “what are we going to do about Malfoy?”

“Stab him with a fork?” I suggested.

“Eh,” said Hugo “it's been done.”

Al chuckled as he noticed Rose storming back towards us, a black look on her face “looks like we might not have to do anything,” he said proudly “Rose looks like she’s killed him or something.”

“No such luck” said Hugo in disappointment “here he comes.”

Malfoy smirked as he noticed us watching him and took a seat at the Slytherin table.

Rose still looked furious as she approached us “Damn it Hugo!” she exclaimed “what was the rule about how we treat the Slytherins?”

Hugo looked puzzled “I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot?”

“Not that one!” she snapped “the other one!”

“I will not lock you and Malfoy in an abandoned classroom and bet on who comes out alive?”

Rose continued to glare “not that one.”

Hugo looked sheepish “I will not train the Gryffindor first years for warfare and use them as my own personal hit squad and then pit them against the Slytherin first years in an epic battle and take bets on the winner because it's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy?”“You never did that!” said Lily “that was James and Dom last year!”

“Yeah but I helped with the betting.”

“No!” exclaimed Rose “that's not it!”

“How many of these stupid rules are there?” muttered Roxie.

Rose took a deep calming breathe “Hugo, in what possible realm is it alright for you to test hair growth spells on the Slytherin first year girls?”

“That’s what this is about?” Albus laughed “that's what Malfoy wanted? Cry-baby.”

Rose turned an interesting shade of red “he is protecting his house!” she exclaimed “Hugo how could you do that to those poor girls?”

“Well to be fair,” said Hugo “most of them were already fairly hairy, and I think one of them is a boy in a skirt.”

“That doesn’t make it ok!” snapped Rose “that spell is not appropriate for school usage!”

“Well,” I said logically “you never know if a spell is ‘appropriate for school usage’ or not until after you’ve used it and been punished.”

She gave a long suffering sigh “here’s a handy trick Dom, if the thought of a spell makes you giggle, then it's probably not appropriate for school use.”

“That’s not true,” said Albus thoughtfully “I giggled yesterday in transfiguration when we had to turn our desk into a pig and that was a school spell.”

“Yes,” said Rose through gritted teeth “but you were giggling because you were picturing turning the Slytherin table into a giant pig at breakfast.”

Albus looked shocked “how the hell do you know that?” he demanded.

Rose just smirked “Al, I know everything.”


As I exited Transfiguration later that afternoon I found myself taken by the arm and dragged in a surprisingly strong grip into a brook closet by and extremely worried looking Lily “I need your help,” she confessed “and you can’t tell anyone.”

“Oh Merlin,” I groaned leaning against the wall of the closet “you're not pregnant are you?”

She looked shocked “What? No! But I kind of tried to feed Lorcan Scamander a love potion and it went... wrong.”

My eyes narrowed “wrong? How wrong?”

She blushed “he got stomach cramps and threw up for like an hour and then when he finally came out of the bathroom I tried to corner him to see if it had worked.”

“And did it?”

She nodded ruefully “yes, he fell in love alright.”

“Then what are you so worried about?” I felt confused “that's what you wanted isn’t it?”

She shook her head “he didn’t fall in love with me... he sort of fell in love with Moaning Myrtle.”

 I couldn’t help it, I burst out laughing.                                                                                         

“It’s not funny!” she hissed “the love of my life is in love with the schools psycho stalker ghost instead of me!”

I couldn’t help it, I laughed even harder. When it finally subsided Lily was glaring at me like she would dearly love to strangle me “are you going to help me or not?” she demanded.

“Of course I am,” I said with a wicked grin as we stepped out of the closet “but I'm still going to laugh.”



“So,” Lysander was smirking as he sat down next to me about an hour later in the common room as I sat doing my homework “Lorcan just asked me to be his best man.”

“Oh?” I asked with forced nonchalance “who is he marrying?”

“Moaning Myrtle.”

I decided sarcasm was my best defence “very funny.”

“Drop the act,” he said, amusement in his voice “I know perfectly well that it was one of your cousins, I'm not entirely sure which one but I'm guessing it was either Hugo or Lily.”

“Hugo?” I demanded “why Hugo?”

“Because he’s been testing potions on people lately.”


Lysander chuckled “since you're not defending Lily I’ll assume it was her?”

“No it wasn’t!” I insisted instantly knowing how mortified Lily would be if she Lorcan found out.

He chuckled again “I'm not going to tell Lorcan, but I’m really going to have to insist that you all help me fix this since I refuse to have Moaning Myrtle as a sister in law.”



“Ok everyone” I said addressing the group at large “we’re here because Lily needs our help.”

Hugo snorted “what did she do this time?”

Al immediately looked suspicious “you’re not pregnant are you?” he demanded of Lily.

Lily looked irritated “should I be offended that everyone seems to think I’m pregnant?”

“Are you?” demanded Hugo.

“No!” she exclaimed.

“Are we here for any particular reason?” Lucy looked irritated that no one was getting to the point.

“I sort of accidentally got Lorcan to fall in love with moaning myrtle,” said Lily blushing furiously as she avoided eye contact with Lysander.

Louis snorted “how did you do that?”

“That’s not important,” said Roxie immediately jumping to Lily’s defence “what's important is that we need to fix it!”

We were all gathered in the seventh year boy’s dorm after I called an emergency family meeting with Lysander along for the ride.

“What can we do?” demanded Hugo “sounds like the poor guys just gonna have to suffer for a while, it’ll wear off in a couple of months.”

“We can’t wait that long,” said Lysander firmly “he’s already proposed and I'm not entirely confident that my parents are going to step in and stop him from going through with it.”

“Which is exactly why we need to focus Myrtles attentions elsewhere until we can get Lorcan to drink a potion reversing it.”

Rose immediately cottoned onto the plan so she and Lucy, our resident potions genius’s immediately stood up “we’ll start on the potion,” said Lucy calmly.

Everyone else was grinning “suck it Hugo,” muttered Roxie.

Hugo smirked as he overheard “well, I for one can’t wait to go give Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full."

Lysander looked confused “wait? What do you mean a decoy?”

I explained “Moaning Myrtle is in love with Hugo.”

“She watches him shower through the drain,” added Lily with a grin.

“Hey,” said Hugo with a smirk “I can’t help it if I'm a sex god.”

I snorted “you have one admirer who happens to be a dead weirdo who watches you while you shower... I wouldn’t go getting to cocky there Casanova.”

“Ok...” said Lysander slowly “well as fascinating as this is, what does it have to do with getting Lorcan to move on from her?”

“Well,” I explained “if we can get Myrtle focused on Hugo, I'm thinking Lorcan might be desperate enough to drink any potion we give him if we tell him it will help to get her back.”

Lysander’s face lit up and he gave a loud, boisterous laugh “you’re a genius Dom!”

I smiled modestly “I know.”



With a grin Hugo winked at us and stepped into the prefects bathroom calling out a cheery greeting to the mermaid painting a she did so.

“Are all the random paintings and ghosts in the castle in love with Hugo?” muttered Lysander curiously.

“Pretty much,” said Lucy bluntly as she appeared behind us and handed us a vial of scarlet liquid “just get him to drink this and he’ll be fine.”

“Thanks Lucy,” said Lysander sincerely “you and Rose are miracle workers.”

Lucy shrugged “I know,” with that she turned around and headed back towards the common room where everyone else was waiting.

A couple of minutes later we heard high pitched giggling from inside the classroom and Lysander and I exchanged revolted looks “we told him to distract myrtle enough to make Lorcan jealous, not to make her obsession worse!” I muttered.

We heard footsteps behind us and an extremely worried looking Lorcan came hurtling towards us and as Lysander waylaid him I was struck by the differences between the two. Lorcan was taller than Lysander by a couple of inches and more heavily muscled with his blonde hair in perpetual disarray. Both boys were strikingly handsome and yet, when I compared the two I still found I preferred Lysander with his grey eyes and dark hair... I broke off in horror.

I did not think that Lysander was attractive.

Lorcan’s urgent voice interrupted my thoughts “I have to find her!” he insisted “she just disappeared because she said Hugo was taking a shower! I love her! I can’t let her pick him!”

“I’ll help you, it’s ok,” said Lysander soothingly “we even made you a potion to help you say the right things.”

Lorcan looked at the vial hopefully “Really? It’ll help?”

Lysander nodded “oh yeah, just drink it and she won’t be able to resist.”

Lorcan gulped the potion eagerly and after a few seconds he swayed unsteadily on his feet “what happened?” he groaned.

As Lysander supported his brother who seemed to be lightheaded from the potion he began to explain and I immediately felt that Lorcan would be extremely embarrassed when he realised what had happened and decided, rather tactfully, to spare him some embarrassment and make myself scarce.



The next morning I woke at around six and, unable to get back to sleep I got dressed and wandered down to the great hall which was empty except for a few Ravenclaw’s who were clearly about to head to quidditch training, one lone Hufflepuff as well as one small Gryffindor.

As I neared the table I recognised the toffee coloured hair as belonging to Lucy and I slid in across from her “what are you doing up so early?”

She ignored my question, “You know you and Lysander will end up together” said Lucy with an extreme level of bluntness, even for her.

I choked on my coffee “excuse me?”

She shrugged “you heard me; the two of you are really quite inevitable.”

I stared at her as if she had grown another head “have you inhaled too many potion fumes? In what possible way could Lysander and I ever belong together?”

Again Lucy shrugged “because you balance each other out, kind of like Rose and Scorpius.”

“Rose and Scorpius do not belong together,” I said firmly.

Lucy just shook her head sadly “you really are dense aren’t you?” not even waiting for my response she continued “Rose and Scorpius belong together because they’re opposites, he’s a disrupter and she’s a smoother-over. They fit.”

I blinked in confusion “what on earth are smootherupterwhatsits?”

“Disrupters,” said Lucy with a pointed glance at me “are the people who stir up trouble and throw everything up into the air so they can sit back and laugh at the drama, i.e. you and Scorpius. Smoother-over’s are the people who follow in the wake and make everything calm and settled again, i.e. Lysander and Rose.”

I stared at her completely stunned “nuh uh!” I finally objected.

She sighed “why is it that everyone assumes that my insight is incorrect simply because I'm young?”

“Who even thinks about this kind of thing?” I demanded “when did you start putting people into categories?”

She shrugged “oh ages ago, I’ve done you all.”

I stared at her in morbid fascination “what’s James?”

“He’s different,” said Lucy thoughtfully “he and Lilly are both kites.”

“Kites...?” I echoed slowly.

She nodded calmly taking a bite of her toast “they’re both bright and colourful and flutter above everything serious, they’re concerned with fun and enjoyment and they’re not happy unless they have everyone watching them but at the same time they’re completely tied to the people they care about and stay close to them.”

“What is wrong with you?” I demanded “who even comes up with that?”

She shrugged “observing people is fun.”

I gave her a shaky smile “have Aunt Audrey and Uncle Percy considered putting you into therapy?”

“No,” said Lucy with a shrug “I mostly just tell Louis these sorts of theories; it's kind of nice to tell someone else.”

Partly because I was deciding to humour her and partly because I was genuinely curious I calmly posed the question “and what sort of person does a kite belong with?”

Lucy pursed her lips considering the question “that depends, for Lily I think she needs a flyer, someone waiting on the ground holding the string to make sure she doesn’t drift away. James on the other hand needs wind, someone just as vibrant and stubborn as he is who is going to challenge him and blow him in a different direction as well as make sure he keeps flying.”

Once more I was stunned “what are you?” I demanded “the horoscope writer for the prophet?”

Lucy just gave a surprising and rare laugh “you’ll see Dom,” she said with a grin “you’ll see.”

As she got up from the table and left the great hall it dawned on me, thanks to Lucy’s distracting me, I never got an answer as to why she was up so early.

I chuckled to myself and took another sip of my coffee; it appeared Miss Lucy had some secrets of her own.













Spread some love and leave a review, I love to hear favourite lines or quotes or just a comment. Also, check out my new Camelot spinoff, which features the characters from Blown Away as well.

Lily Potter get’s a life is Lily and Lorcan’s story set later on.

Let me know what you think.

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