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The Treacherous Tales of One Darla Dudsworth by Belly
Chapter 1 : Oh, the Perils.
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 7

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Authors Note: Hello readers, I just wanted to thank you so much for checking my story! All the ideas, characters and the writing came to me at 11 o'clock last night and it is now midday, 13 hours later, so I'm sorry if it doesn't seem that well edited. I'm just excited to be posting it! More Authors Notes at the bottom. 

Enjoy! x

T’is a glorious, sunny morning in the grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Students, of all ages and ethnicities, scatter themselves endlessly amongst the grass, basking in the warm, bright sun and each other’s company. Darla Dudsworth watches from afar as a group of third-year girls paint their toenails on a blanket, a second year boy shows his new broom off to his friends and a new couple share a discreet kiss behind an oak tree. Darla finds the latter most amusing, as the boy in question had been sharing secret kisses all year with half of Ravencl-


“You’re monologue-ing again, aren’t you?” I snap out of my inner dialogue, ready to lie to my bestest pally in the whole world, Mackenzie, about my concentration techniques.


“Course not.” I yawn, a sign that I’m quite obviously not concentrating. “Just enjoying the sight of a beautiful day that we can’t, actually, enjoy.”


We were cooped up in the stuffy library, doing our crap Potions assignment on the Draught of Living Death, which was due tomorrow. We sit near a window for oxygen, but the only thing we gain is a need for freedom.


“Well,” Mack stammers. That’s a good sign. “I suppose it is beautiful.”


“Of course it is! And you know Slughorn, he’ll let us off.” I answer non-chalantly. I wasn’t entirely sure of that, but I’d be willing to assume if it meant we were free for the day. I sincerely hope my darling Mack will agree with me.


“I mean, it’s basically done already.” She says this slowly, as if unsure of my reaction.


We say in unison, “Blow it off?”


I mutter a quick, “Oo-er”, before we dash out of the library, leaving all our work behind us.


We practically race to the giant oak doors that grant us our freedom, laughing and pushing each other out of the way. I can almost feel the breeze upon my face, when a voice says, “Darla?”


I turn around quickly, almost tripping Mack in the process. She doesn’t seem fazed, however, and bangs the door with her palm, shouting, “I won!” just to taunt me.


“Why, you little minger!” I laugh.


“Darla!” I turn around again, finding the one vying for my attention. It’s Jake McArn, my ‘friend’ (Or so we tell people).


“Oh, hey Jake. What’s happening?” I’m slightly annoyed. The outdoors is only a few steps away and he is blocking my path. Figuratively, that is. Why that boy would rather be inside on a day like this is a mystery to me. We’re in bloody Scotland! Do you know how rare days like these are?


“Umm, can I have a word?” Ah, that’s why he’s inside. He seems a bit put-out by my lack of enthusiasm.


I look at Mack. We both know what ‘having a word’ means. It means Jake and me in a dirty, uncomfortable broom cupboard for about ten minutes, competing to snog each other’s faces off. Any other day I would’ve said ‘no’. But I’ve had no man-love for at least a week. With a sigh, I tell Mack, “I’ll meet you in ten, okay?”


She takes one look at Jake and says, “Puh-lease.” She looks back at me, “I give him five minutes. Tops,” and then leaves to walk outside.


Jake says, “She’s joking, right?”


Four minutes later and I’m out of breath, climbing my way over buckets and brooms, trying to exit the tiny broom cupboard I’ve suddenly grown accustomed to since I’ve known Jake. “We gotta stop meeting like this,” I tell him.


“Why?” He smiles, “Don’t you find it exciting?”


A rogue broom handle jabs me in the face. “Ouch! No, but I definitely find it painful.”


“Are you alright?” Jake tries to caress my face with his hand but I slap it away.


“Have you not had enough physical contact for one day?” I’m annoyed again. All I want is to go outside and hang with my Mack.


We’re in the hallway now, standing outside the broom cupboard we just escaped from. Jake looks at me sincerely (Mental eye-roll) and says, “I just need one more thing.” He tries to peck me on the lips but I dodge him quickly and punch him on the shoulder.


“Jake!” I’m very, very angry with him. “Are you mad? I thought we both agreed we didn’t want people finding out about this!”


“Well, maybe I changed my mind.” He says seriously.


I pause for at least 23 seconds. “What does that mean?”


“Maybe we shouldn’t talk about this now.”


“What does that mean?” I say louder and stroppier than before. “This thing,” I gesture to him and then me, “is purely physical and that’s the way we both like it.”


“No,” he says. “That’s how you like it.”


I cannot be hearing this. “Jake, you rake,” I say, using my fondness for rhyming peoples names. “Let’s just talk about this later, yeah? I’m SO not in the mood for seriousness right now.”


“Well, when you are, come and find me.” And he walks off in a strop down the hallway.


“What’s the point when you always come and find me?” I mutter in his wake.


Slightly angrier than before, I dash over to the giant oak doors into the welcoming sunshine. Ah, freedom. How I adore you.


I see Mack by her lonesome near the lake, lying down to catch a tan with her shirt up and tummy exposed. I run over to her, ready to spill all about my latest interaction with the opposite sex.


“Hey, sexy,” I say to her playfully.


“Ola, sweet thing.” She returns the greeting.


“Got some crazy news for you!”


She shoots up into sitting position and says, “What?!”


“You’re such a gossip hound,” I say disapprovingly. “I think Jake wants to get ‘serious’.”


“Ooh… Tell me more.” She’s so eager.


I laugh and shake my head. “You need a boyfriend.”


“Tell me about it!” She agrees. When I say nothing she says, “Seriously, tell me about it.”


“Oh, you mean Jake! He just said he wants people to know about us. And I’m all like ‘no’ and he’s like ‘hell yeah’ and then I’m like ‘I don’t want to’ and then he’s all stroppy and I’m like ‘no seriousness’ and he’s like ‘fine’ then he walks off and I’m like ‘what’s the point, you’ll find me anyway!’ and then I went to you.”


Mack nods, knowingly. “Oh, the perils.”


“Too right.”


“Come on, love. Have a seat.”


I’d been standing up talking to her that entire time, even though I knew the sun got in her eyes when she looked at me. I sit down, accidentally trotting on her fingers as I do.


“Oww! Lay off, you plonker,” she says, scowling. I laugh at her pain.


“But then what will I do to amuse myself?”


 “Oh, I don’t know.” She pretends to think hard on it and says, ”Stalk Remus Lupin?”


I hear a sharp intake of breath and realise that it was me. She is the devil, calling on my horrible pain like that.


“What?” she asks. “You’ve been pining after that boy for eons. Don’t you think it’s about time you act on it?”


“Our love is not something to be rushed into, Mackenzie Alexandra. And I was not pining!” I say hotly, “Merely stalking him occasionally when I was bored enough.”


She snorts. “Occasionally? You followed him every single night for the entire month of October just to see which bathroom he prefers. It’s sick.”


“Yeah? Well, so is your face.”


“That makes zero sense.”


“Neither does your face.”


“You’re a weirdo.”


“You’re face is a weirdo.”


“I’m stopping now.”


“Your fa-”




We sit silently for a while, lying in the sun, but I soon grow restless. I turn to Mack, “You want to help me find him?”


She says, “OK,” and we set off to search the grounds for Remus Lupin.


Two hours later and our search has shown no results. We stand outside the library, debating whether or not to go in. We’d been avoiding this place like the plague all day, but now it was the only place we hadn’t searched.


“We’ll just go in, take a bit of a look and then dash back out.” I say reassuringly to my Mack.


“I don’t want to go back in there.” She looks at me wide-eyed and frightened. “Is Remus Lupin really worth all this?”


We debate for a few extra minutes but finally decide that we should stay put, or at least stay out of the library, for the remainder of the day. I trudge down the hallway with Mack skipping beside me, when a familiar, sexy voice says, “Err… Darla?”


I whip around, almost tripping Mack for the second time that day. Remus Lupin just called for my attention. Remus Lupin just said my name. Do you know how often I’d imagined Remus Lupin saying my name?


He’s speaking again, but I can’t be asked to pay attention when lips like his are moving in such a fashion.


Mack nudges me. I don’t respond.


She nudges me again. “What?” I snap.


She whispers, “Remus Lupin is trying to talk to you, you daft cow.”


“Oh! Sorry, err… Drifted off for a bit.” I say lamely. Curse my non-ability to say anything cool.


He half chuckles to be polite, obviously unsure what planet I originally came from.


“Jupiter.” I say to be funny before realizing that he hadn’t asked me anything. Mental forehead slap.


He smiles politely and says, “My brain fries when studying astronomy too.”




“Umm, you’re Darla Dudsworth, right?” He looks at me inquisitively.


I make no move to respond. Mack saves me, “Yes, she’s Darla.”


I make a noise that sounds something like, “Nghhgihgnn.”


“And she’s pleased to meet you.”




She says to me, “You’re welcome.”


Remus appears unsure whether to run in the opposite direction or laugh out loud. “Err, well, Madame Pince told me to find you. She says she’ll burn all your things if you don’t go inside and claim them soon.”


“Oh,” I say, finally making coherent sounds. “Thanks.”


“S’alright.” He wants to leave now.


“Yeah, well, we better…” I gesture to the door.


“Yeah, I have to…” He gestures to the other end of the corridor that we’re standing in.


We say in unison, “See you later.” And hurry off in opposite directions.


We just make it through the doorway when I can’t help myself anymore.


“I just had a conversation with Remus Lupin.”


“Yes, you did.” Mack laughs.


I just had a conversation with Remus Lupin.”


“You’re not lying.”


“I just had a conversation with Remus Lupin.”


“That is the truth.”




And that was when we noticed the small campfire in the middle of the walkway.


“Is that my pencil case?”

Authors Note: Hello again! So this was the first chapter. It's pretty much just introducing how the story is going to pan out; there'll be juicer stuff in later chapters (I haven't even introduced Sirius yet :P ). Let me know what you think! Constructive criticism is very much appreciated here, so let loose. Thanks again for reading and I hope you liked it!

-Isobel x

P.S. Reviews are love. 

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