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A/N: I know, I know, another girl vs. James II story... But indulge me and read this? I promise all of the cliches are in good fun. =)
***


More often than not, I am absolutely sure there's not a single sane person in this place.

Not in entire Hogwarts, no. There are some perfectly normal, nice wizards and witches in Hogwarts. Just not in Slytherin.

Now, I'm not nice by any stretch of that word, but I like to think of myself as at least bordering on normal. I would not sell out my best friend for 5 sickles and even though I hate cats I would never kick one for the knack of it. I simply honor the 'turnabout is fair play' rule, for the world would be a better place if everyone got what they deserve. In those revenge-related ordeals, you could call me an extremist.

Yes, I can't let things go, yes, I cheat when I'm presented with a good opportunity to, and yes, I'm a cynical bitch, but I have some morals.

Which can hardly be said about the rest of our bunch. Take Margaery Dennis for an example. Now that thing is evil. Couldn't recognize morality if it brought a puppy back to life.

I can look past her shagging about or manipulating both teachers and students in favour of her ambitions. But she treats all of her playthings like dirt, not just the ones who want to get into her knickers, but the poor schmucks who actually fall for her. As for her manipulation, nothing is sacred to her. So far she succeeded to break up numerous friendships, relationships, have a professor fired, break innumerable hearts just so she could laugh in the poor guys' faces and brag about 'Men being pathetic, whimpering idiots under her thumb'.

In the six years I've known her, Dennis hadn't shown an ounce of humility or compassion. And that goes for the most of the rest of Slytherin.

If they're not loudly demanding to be crowned the top of the Hogwarts socialite, top of the class or bullying, cheating and scheming to gain 'respect', they're silently sneering and plotting your demise, despite never even knowing your name.

That said, there are some Slytherins that I consider respectable and choose to hang with. For the simple reason that, although each has something that makes him a true Slytherin, they don't take themselves so seriously, hence turning their potentially dangerous personality traits into mostly respectable quirks.

In translation, they're not evil but wicked, and wreak havoc in a most stylish fashion.

First there's Roxie Holmes.

A girl I've known since I was 5, fellow seventh-year student, a genius at Transfiguration, my tequila drinking-buddy, loves muggle motorbikes, sports, setting things on fire and has little patience for people of smaller intellect. It's hard to get on her good side but once you do, she'll be the most loyal friend you'll ever have.

Then there's Scorpius Malfoy.

Ickle sixth year, likes to strut the halls of Hogwarts as the resident bad boy, but once you get to know him, it's pretty easy to see beneath the davil-may-care attitude – he's extremely hardworking, fiercely protective of his friends and surprisingly considerate for one teenage bloke.

And the last and the least, Cyrian Zabini.

Used to be a top bloke, but since last year, ever since his daddy became a bigshot in the music bussiness, a major arsehole. Scorpius and he were best friends since they were toddlers, but now they're drifting apart as Zabini does everything in his power to become the very top of the Hogwarts socialite-pyramid. Something I've taken to calling The Douche Climb.

And speaking of Douchey Morons, here comes their queen. Heads turn predictably as Donna Yaxley and her cronies enter the Great Hall. The most boring person you'll ever meet (unless you count occasional bouts of unnecessary cruelty worthy of notice), but she's very beautiful and extremely arrogant. And that's all you need for acclaim in the insipid teenage world. She struts past me and Roxie with a small nod – we try to remain civil, we do share a dorm after all – and sits next to Zabini, fluttering her eyelashes and simpering a greeting. Interesting. If he gained her interest, he must be gaining applaud faster then I expected – she only dates 'the elite', and Merlin knows it's a problem for a Zabini to get back to those books. I snickered at the thought. How low have the pureblood fallen. His father was forced to co-operate with muggles in his takeover of the music industry, and while he might have gotten back the money his family lost because of the war, he was forced to surrender every last bit of his pureblood pride with that move and now the closest a Zabini is to being elite is the 16-year-old Cyprian being the most talked-about boy in Hogwarts.

An extremely ruffled mop of blonde hair almost collides with my mouth as I turn my head back to my friends and I indignantly push Scorpius away.

„Oh, sorry, Ana, didn't see you there.“

I mock-frown at his words. „And here I had put so much effort in my appearance today.“

„Oh, no! It's not like that! You look great! I'm so tired I crashed into a wall back there, we had the most extreme practice yesterday and...“ he stops as he notices Roxie's have-you-completely-lost-your-marbles look and my face scrunched up in an effort to hold in laughter, „...now you're taking the piss. Thanks guys, I value your support.“

 He really does look beat. „Scorp, tell me you've been inhaling some of the good shite again.“ And looks like Roxie shares my concerns. Scorpius tiredly raises his head at her words, „I haven't since your birthday, why?“

„Because you look like you spent the entire yesterday studying and then practiced Quidditch deep into the night. And that better not be true, because I don't feel like giving you another lecture, now I just might give you a physical reminder of my last one.“

If you knew the Malfoy family history, however superficially, Scorpius will surprise you. Yes, he's still a Slytherin, but that obviously doesn't mean what it used to – he's simply very driven. But there's a whole another side of Scorpius that almost got him into Gryffindor. Yes, imagine that. The Sorting Hat reviewing a Malfoy and being torn between Gryffindor and Slytherin. I'm the only person to whom he confessed that – he knew that among all of his friends I liked my Slytherin nature the least, so I wouldn't judge. On the contrary, I respected him all the more for it. I always envied him – he worked hard to set himself apart from his family's bad name and remaining connections, while I was my family's golden little princess, forever pampered and protected, and forever enjoying the undeserved attention. And he cared very little for money and would always return his mother what he considered to be excess pocket money – which usually turned out to be about eighty per cent of her monthly packets. To me, on the other hand, material things presented about eighty-five per cent of life's happiness quota. And I completely counted on my family getting me a job once I get out of Hogwarts. Scorpius worked extremely hard to avoid all of that – he has grades to get a job wherever he wants without his mother's connections and if all falls back, he could easily have a career in Quidditch. I both envied him, and thought he was a dim-wit.

I smile at him encouragingly. „Don't let 'em get you down, Scorp. You're so fantastic. I mean, having grades that you have and being the Hogwarts' best Quidditch player, that takes skills man...“ I bat my eyelashes at him, while Roxie looks on suspisciously.

He grins quite stupidly. „Thanks, Ana, I knew you'd—“

„I mean, it's not like you could get that Healer spot without ignoring your friends on Saturday nights, or your life resembling a normal teenager's by you having a girlfriend or at least a tiny interest in something outside of school or Quidditch... Oh, wait, you kinda could.“

He groans and hits his head on the table. I smirk at Roxie. Selfish guilt-tripping is fun. „I feel like ditching today. Let's light it in the Forest... Ooh, we should cook up a Project! It's been a while...“

Scorpius frowns at me. „Great. I pissed you off so I'll have this one on my conscience?“

„Scorp! What did we say about the C-word? You're hurting him! Look!“ I take out the Salazar Slytherin playing card that I charmed to grow a wart whenever a Slytherin said a word I listed as insulting to Slytherin nature – like conscience, selfless, chivalry... I must say, the number of warts is alarmingly low. Now the Hogwarts founder was glaring st me accusingly as his forehead sprouted a new one.

„Life's tough, hun. They can't all be model children,“ I comfort Salzy as I glare at Scorpius who was rolling his eyes at me. „Ok, I'll ditch with you, but I pick the target this time.“

 






„Ouch Malfoy, get off my bleeding foot! You don't exactly weight a hundred, you know?“

„Well you could get that lion's mane out of my nose, it's suffocating me!“

„And you could both shut your gobs, Garlic could be right around the corner for all we know!“ I hiss at my partners in crime, who have now taken on a glaring contest instead of bickering like infants. They've been at it ever since we exited the common room. I'm surrounded by amateurs.

It's 11 p.m. and we're out after curfew, so any sensible person would be as quiet as possible to not get caught by our evil caretaker Allium Sedgewick, a wizard as disgusting, stupid and cruel as his name.

Allium is apparently (so says Roxie, she is full of random wisdom like that) the name of the onion genus, so it's only natural kids here call him Garlic. He may not be the brightest of stars and he may have dropped out of Hogwarts in his third year, but that old bastard knows his way around this castle like a rat knows his sewer.

People would presume that sense and Slytherins on an evil mission go hand in hand, but we really are the worst Slytherins ever. So naturally, we romp about the castle creating as much of a ruckus as possible, Scorpius tripping and punching Roxie (like a sissy), she cursing him with random spells that make him jump around and crash into things, when we should've already been at the entrace to the Ravenclaw common room, setting our little prank.

We almost get there, when a few feet before the Ravenclaw tower we hear rushed footsteps.

„Quick, get in there!“ Roxie leads us to a broom closet nearby, and she's just about to lock us in when the approaching figure opens the door and steps inside. To our surprise, the tall bloke closes the door behind him. It's just another student out after curfew like us. He mumbles the locking curse and soundproofs the closet.

„It's a good thing I came across you guys. You'd be busted in a few heartbeats, Garlic's just a corridor down.“

Scratch that. It's not just another student out after curfew. I'd know that annoying voice anywhere. It's James bleeding Potter. Roxie obviously shares my aggravation. „And I suppose you know that because he already busted you and he's now heading after you and subsequently, after us?“

„Such wise assumptions, Holmes, it must be true what they say about your superior intellect. That it's all Slytherin propaganda,“ I can hear the smirk in his voice and I suddenly jump at the realisation of his proximity to me. He lits his wand and I can now see in adition to feel just how cramped it is in here. Roxie's glaring rather fiercely. She's tad protective of her reputation.

„Hey Scorp, how's it going down there? You mind moving a bit back? I'm kinda cramped between these ladies here. I'd say I don't mind, but I just don't like them cold and slithery.“

At this Roxie snorts and mumbles, „A person that exalts puns in what he obviously considers witty dialogue is insulting my intelligence. Dandy.“

Scorpius rolls his eyes at their banter. „Hey kiddies, no name calling. Please?“

„There's no need for name calling...“

„Thank you Ana,“ Scorpius praises, eager for cooperation between his friends. Yeah right, he can be buddies with those pompous arses for all he wants, but that doesn't mean I have to follow his lead.

„Potter's leaving anyway.“ I cross my arms and glare at him to enunciate just how non-negotiable that is. He turns away from us and takes something out of his pocket. I stand on my toes to take a peak over his shoulder and find him staring at a... parchment? Wait... that's a map... No, it can't be!

„Oh, but it is!“

Apparently, I said that out loud. And for a second time, I jump at our proximity. This time we were much closer, he turned his head toward me and I could feel his breath on my face. Gross. Not his breath, that's actually rather nice, minty, mixed with something sweet, like he brushed his teeth and then ate some candy. He would be childish enough. I glare at him while he, for some reason, smirks at me. „Jumpy, Pereira?“

I scrunch up my face in disgust at his insinuation, making him laugh like a moron he is.

I turn to my friends and point my finger at Potter childishly. „He has the Marauder's Map!“

Scorpius shrugs confusedly. „Yeah, I kinda figured he does.“

„Me too.“ Even Roxie? What kind of friends are these?

„Well let's tell on him.“ I glance at Potter to see his reaction. He's frowning. Good.

But so is Malfoy, „Ana, you can't be serious.“

„Why not, he's our enemy.“

„No, actually, he's my friend. And what exactly did he ever do to you?“ Oh you can't be serious.

„Yeah! What did I ever do?“ Potter has the audacity to act indignant, „Are you still mad about the Halloween prank? I know we freaked you out good, but it was nothing personal. We did it to most Slytherins, and you just happened to get the worst part of our little prankshow. Nothing personal.“

Ooh, but his smirk told otherwise. It always did. He would say he disliked Slytherins in general, but he was friends with Scorpius and civil with a few others. I wasn't just a Slytherin. James Potter the First had Severus Snape, James Potter the Second has me. But he was sneaky about it, so it always turns out I'm the bad guy. He sets a prank for a random student, and it just happens to be me, I complain and say he's out to get me and I'm paraniod and I'm the one with the personal vendetta. Sneaky little bitch.

„Ana, you should really chill out. It was just a prank. Though we should've charmed it so it sets off only at blokes, I mean, I can see how it would be too much to handle for a girl...“

„Oh bugger off, would you! You didn't scare me, you pissed me off by ruining my new dress! It's beyond repair and unrecognizable! Oh, thanks for reminding me, you can expect my owl with a billing for that. And you know what, you swarmy git? I proclaim war. Enough is enough. I'm done with rising above your little act, you will get what you deserve.“

„Ooh, I'm so dead. The mighty Slytherin princess is out to get me.“

„You should be concerned, Potter. You know why?“

„Amuse me.“

„I'm a Slytherin with a good reason.“

Roxie and Scorpius looked on our banter with disbelief, and Potter was smirking as contently as ever. Well we'll just have to change that. I open the door and run out, deliberately crashing a suit of armour in the process, making a ruckus so loud it was bound to be heard four corridors away, where Garlic was currently patrolling. There was a shortcut to the dungeons nearby, so I was confident I'd get to the common room in time, and so would Roxie and Scorpius. Potter? Not so much. I smirked confidently as I mumbled Mischief managed into the Map and pocketed it. That prick will get what he deserves. I'll make everyone see him for what he is and I'll use all means possible. I have nothing to lose. I know my reputation – that I'm a frigid, spoiled little princess who barely cares for the two friends she has. He can't tarnish my reputation any worse, and if he does, see if I care. He, on the other hand, is a legacy. Great Harry Potter's firstborn, the Golden Gryffindor Prince. Who is, in fact, a talentless egomaniac and a complete hypocrite who gets away with everything because of his name. There is so much material to work with and so much to lose on his part.

Why did I ever complain about being a Slytherin? Being evil is fun.

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