I sat in the bathroom checking the Muggle pregnancy test for the third time this week. The little pink plus sign was visible. It was there, mocking me; reminding me of my mistake. I chucked it in the trashcan, forced to face the fact that I was pregnant. And I had a pretty good idea to whom it was. For I’d only had sex once in my life. Just a few weeks ago, to be exact. I felt awful about it. It shouldn’t have happened.
Sighing, I stood up and exited the bathroom, instantly swarmed by hundreds of students roaming the corridors of Hogwarts. I joined in, knowing I had to tell someone about it. I was going to explode if I didn’t. But there was no way I could tell…him. The father. I shuddered. Harry. I could tell him. But he might not understand. He wouldn’t get why I did what I did. But, I mean I could tell Ginny, though she wasn’t one of my best friends. We were growing closer, but I didn’t feel safe confiding in her just yet. She was a little headstrong.
I turned to see Harry running after me, his unruly black hair flying amuck.
“Where’ve you been?” he panted.
“Oh, just in the bathroom,” I told him honestly.
“Ah…” He lost interest. “So, Snape’s homework is so unfair! I’ve got a lot on my plate right now. You know, what with the DA meetings and Umbridge and everything.”
“Well, you know Snape. But anyway, do you think we could talk? You know, alone somewhere?” I asked slowly.
“Uh, sure… Is everything okay?” Harry wondered.
“Um, kinda. Come with me.” I led him down a few hallways and out into the brisk October air. He followed me down to the pond and we both sat against tree trunks facing each other.
“Alright, what is it?”
“Okay…well…don’t get mad at me…it wasn’t my fault…well I guess it was…” I began nervously. Harry waited patiently. I took a deep breath. “I’m… Harry, I’m pregnant…”
A cloud of silence coated us. Harry obviously hadn’t registered what I just told him. He stared at me and I watched the pieces click together in his mind. His mouth dropped open.
“Are…are you sure? You‘re…you‘re pregnant?”
I nodded. “Pretty positive.” I faked a smile.
“Oh my God, Hermione!“ He raised an eyebrow at me. “To who?”
The smile instantly dropped to a frown. I’d been hoping he wouldn’t ask the question. But of course he would. Anyone person in their right mind would ask that.
“Don’t judge me, Harry. It was a moment of lose of control. It shouldn’t have happened. Merlin, I’m so stupid.” I muttered.
He just stared at me.
“Okay, well…well it’s Malfoy!” I spit out, tears welling in my eyes. Again, Harry just stared at me. I had to explain myself before he got a chance to speak. “Harry, before you get mad, you must know that it wasn’t my intentions! It’s not like I like him or anything. It just happened. I regret every moment of it. Oh Harry, please don’t be mad at me…” I trailed off, tears streaming out of my eyes. It was a few minutes before he spoke.
“Wait, did you just say… Oh my God! Merlin, Hermione! You slept with, with Malfoy?”
“Yes! I did! And Harry, I’m not proud of it. I’ve wish every day since I did it that I didn’t do it. Like I said, I lost control. I’m so sorry!” I cried. I knew sorry didn’t even cover half of what I’d done. But it was the only thing I could think of saying. As I sat there looking at him, watching all the emotions move across his face, I came to a conclusion: He hated me. There was no way he couldn’t. I’d slept with his enemy! I deserved his hate. He had every right to walk away from me and never talk to me again.
Harry looked at me and spoke through clenched teeth. “Was it you or him who…started it?”
I sighed and dived into the tale. I told him how Malfoy pulled me aside to talk about something of no importance, of how I was so fed up with everything that was going on, of how mad I was and I’d just kissed him.
“…and he took it to something more. But I‘m not going to lie to you, I can‘t lie to you. I had as much part in it as he did. I can‘t blame him for my actions,” I finished. He was silent for a moment. I braced myself for what would come next.
“You know, you’re a good person. I’ve always admired you for that, Hermione,” he said quietly.
Good person? What was he talking about? “Harry, have you been listening to this conversation? I’m not a good person! I slept with Malfoy! Malfoy!” I shrieked and abruptly covered my mouth with my hand, glancing around to see if anyone heard it. Fortunately, the grounds were deserted except for a few second years who were roaming around further away.
Harry took a deep breath. “Yes, I have been listening. Yeah, you made a mistake, but you’re not trying to put all the blame on Malfoy. You’re taking the consequences of your actions. Yes, I’m pretty mad that you would choose Malfoy as your first, but it’s in the past and…I can’t change that. Plus, I’ve got enough to deal with as it is. I don’t need to be freaking out about this.
“And no, Hermione, I don’t hate you. But I do need some time to mull this over. It’s a lot and I just can’t tell you how I feel right now. I’m still trying to process everything you just told me. I just can’t wrap my mind around why you would sleep with Malfoy. But, then again, it was your choice, not mine and you can do what you want. Though, in the mean time, I’m gonna go kick his butt!” Harry started to rise, his face flushing red. It happened all so quickly. One minute he was talking to me normally and in the next his face was scarlet and determined. I grabbed his arm and yanked him back down.
“Please don’t. He’ll ask questions. And I’m not ready to tell him I’m pregnant. I…I need to do it myself. I hope you understand.”
His face flushed again but he swallowed his anger. “Alright, but once you do, I am going to murder him.” Harry ran his fingers through his black hair. “Merlin, I just don’t get it! No offense, but I don’t understand how you could be so stupid and just let your guard down like that, especially in Malfoy’s presence.”
I dropped my head guiltily. “I know. But…you’re still my friend, right?”
Harry stared at me incredulously. “Our friendship has no conditions. Yes, I’m extremely angry, but how could you think that I wouldn’t be friends with you? We all make mistakes…though this is pretty bad….but…look I gotta go.”
Tears glazed my eyes once more. “Just don’t tell Ron,” I murmured as they leaked over and rolled down my cheeks. Harry nodded and stalked off. I sat there and full out cried for a little while. Why did this happen to me? It just wasn’t fair. Life had been perfect up until now. Then I just had to go and screw it up. Sleeping with Malfoy was the worst possible thing I could’ve done.
Days passed. Still, I hadn’t told Draco. I couldn’t face him. A few times I’d thought about it, but when I got around him, his sneering, snarky manner scared me, thinking that he would just laugh in my face. Harry had come around. He still hung out me, talking to me, asking for my help with homework. But, not once, did he mention the pregnancy matter. Ron was still oblivious. I couldn’t tell him. Not now. Maybe in a while. I wanted to deal with the father before I told him.
Lately, I’d been feeling tired. I had frequent headaches and backaches. And I even vomited yesterday morning. I also had a strong craving for watermelon and longingly wished it wasn’t February. Harry had been supportive. He’d done things for me that I couldn’t do or just needed help with.
“So, are you planning to tell any girlfriends about this? Or am I gonna have to help you forever?” he asked. I gave him a shocked look. “Not that I don’t mind helping you. It’s good,” he added hastily.
“As you may know, I don’t have many girlfriends. I’m sort of a knew-it-all, remember?” I muttered.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said awkwardly. “So, have you told Malfoy yet?”
I dropped my gaze to the floor.
“I’ll take that as a no. If you want my opinion, you should just tell him. Get it over with.” His voice dropped so I couldn’t tell if he was talking to me or himself. “He better help out, the git. He got you like this…”
“I know! And that’s what I’m worried about! It would be typically Malfoy to just walk away, smirking, leaving me with my problems. After all, I’m the one carrying the baby. It’s my problem.”
“No it’s not. Well, partially. It’s just as much Malfoy’s problem as your’s. He got you pregnant, the idiot,” Harry told me seriously.
“So! He can just walk away, Harry! He doesn’t have this!” I indicated to my flat stomach, which soon would start getting bigger. “And because I’m carrying the baby, I’ll have to raise it, unless I give it up for adoption! It’s not like I could just give it to Malfoy and force him to take it. This kid is forced upon me!”
Harry sighed. “I suppose you’re right. But still, if Malfoy doesn’t offer his help, I’ll make him.”
“No, no, it’s alright. I mean, it is his choice,” I mumbled.
“Yeah, well you didn’t have a choice. So neither should he!” Harry fumed. He was always the one who hated injustice. I smiled at that. “Hermione, I’ll be here for you, whatever happens.”
“Thanks Harry. I truly don’t deserve a friend like you.” I threw my arm around his neck as we walked in the direction of the common room. We past through a few corridors and up and few flights of stairs.
“Hermione, look.” Harry pointed down the hall. There, Malfoy was heading the way we just came from. “Ready? Come on, go. I’ll be lingering over here, if you need me.”
I took a deep breath and nodded. Malfoy walked by us, not taking much notice to us, standing there, watching him walk by. Harry gave me the shove I needed and I hurried after the Slytherin Prince, shouting, “Malfoy!” as I went. After I said his name for the third time, he stopped and spun around.
“Granger? What do you want?”
I twiddled my thumbs nervously. “Um, I needed to tell you something.” I glanced back at Harry, who was peering around a corner at us. He jerked his head, indicated for me to continue.
“Really? What could you possibly have to tell me?” Draco asked in his mocking tone. I had a sudden urge to disappear. He wouldn’t understand. There was no way. I flushed scarlet.
“Look, can you tell me today sometime? I’m tired. Had a busy day so I’d like to go to bed,” he told me.
My stomach churned. I dropped my hand to my abdomen, glanced down, and then back at him. He looked from my stomach to my face, skeptically.
“I don’t know how you’re going to take this…but I’m…oh, I’m pregnant!” I blurted out. “There, it’s out there.”
Malfoy didn‘t say anything right away. But then he smirked. “Well, well, well, pregnant, eh? I didn’t think that was legal in your book. I mean, prefect grades, prefect record… Boy, I didn’t think you were such a…bad girl…” he mused.
“You don’t even care?” I asked. I couldn’t help but feel shocked, even though I expected it.
“Why should I care? And why are you even telling me this?” he wondered.
I took a deep breath. “You should care because…the babies…your’s…” I watched his face, looking for any change in his expression. Unfortunately, he was good at hiding his emotions, except in his eyes. His grey eyes went from shock, to anger, to fear, and back to anger.
“M-mine? Are you positive?”
“I’ve only had sex with you,” I murmured. He sighed furiously. Obviously he was wondering how he could’ve been so careless.
“Are you positive that you’re pregnant?” he asked through clenched teeth. His face was paler than usual.
“Well, that is what the little pink plus sign means on the Muggle pregnancy test, am I correct?” I laughed with out humor. He stared at me questioningly. “Oh, right…that and I went to Madam Pomfrey a few days ago and she confirmed it. I’m pregnant.”
Draco spun around on his heel, his head bent up towards the ceiling and his hands over his face. “Oh good Lord! Granger, you can’t be pregnant! It’s just not…possible!” He stopped and stared at me, his face actually pained.
“Well, apparently it is and I can and I am,” I mumbled sadly. He was not meant to be my first.
“How long have you known?”
“Since last week,” I said.
“Can we discuss this tomorrow? I’m tired and I can’t think straight.”
I nodded and watched Draco turn and disappear down the corridor. Harry emerged from the corner and stood beside me. I shrugged and we both headed up to the Gryffindor common room to get ready for bed. The room was deserted. It was later than I expected it to be. I bade Harry goodnight and climbed the stairs, wearily, to the girls’ dormitories. I changed and collapsed on my bed, thoughts of the day swimming on the surface of my mind. My dreams consisted of Draco and a baby, who wouldn’t stop crying. Face it, I wasn’t ready for motherhood.
A/N Hey guys, review if you liked it. I am sort of liking this story :) haha but just to clear something up, this chapter is back in Hermione's 5th year at Hogwarts. The next chapter and all take place during her 7th year, unless I happen to put in a flashback.
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