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Just a sad lil thing that came into my head. Please leave a review!
Disclaimer: I love JK's work, but it ain't mine :P






“October 31st… can you believe it’s been fourteen years?” Remus Lupin asked Sirius Black wistfully, as he gazed at the photo of the four friends (Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and James Potter) stuck to the wall in Sirius’ old bedroom at Grimauld Place. “I still keep thinking he’s still around…” 

“That’s because he is.” Sirius replied shortly as he dried his hands with a dirty dishcloth. “That’s the scrubbing done, Remus. Shall we polish it?” 

“Sirius…” 

“Remus…” Sirius mimicked, and Remus scowled. 

“How long are you going to keep saying that James is… here?” 

“For as long as he sticks around Remus.” Sirius smiled contentedly as he too stared at the photo. “James loves that photo.” 

“Loved.” Remus corrected, earning himself a dirty glare. “But I can sort of understand… I always get that feeling – that James is going to walk through that door saying ‘my bad!’ and ruffling his hair just like he always did.” Sirius looked up at the door and grinned. 

“If only you could see him, Remus.” Remus sighed. He had long since given up trying to ‘see’ what Sirius could see. He supposed it all came down to being locked in Azkaban for twelve years with only the thought of James being there when he got back out again. 

But every so often, Remus could feel a glimmer of hope when he’d see a door close on it’s own around the Place, or maybe a wind whistling through an open window – but he’d reprimand himself. Sirius was still grinning at the door, and Remus wondered what James was doing. 

“Tell him I said hi.” He laughed drily, before grabbing a brush from the box and beginning to polish the wood on the bed frame. After winking at the open door, Sirius followed suit and began to polish. 

“So… what d’you wanna do when we’re done?” He asked. 

“I suppose Molly will give us another job to do.” Remus replied wearily. Sirius nodded. 

“But James wants to do something fun.” 

“I bet he does.” 

Remus couldn't help but feel that Sirius was being slightly inconsiderate here. Always banging on about James being there when they both knew full well he wasn’t. But it did… bring some form of comfort. For milliseconds he could sometimes believe that he was standing in the open doorway, glasses askew. But then it was gone. 

Maybe that was why Sirius did it. He knew how much comfort those small remarks brought him. Well, Sirius never seemed to mention James at any other time – only when the two of them were alone. 

“Sirius…” 

“Mmm?” 

“Why can’t anyone else see him? James, I mean.” He knew it was a childish thing to ask, but it was out of his mouth before he could stop it. Sirius stopped polishing, and pondered for a moment before looking over his shoulder at the open door. “Oh don’t ask him for god’s sake!” Remus sighed exasperatedly and Sirius gave him a weird look. 

“Well it’s probably because no one else saw James the way I did.” 

“…” 

“I’m not gay! Do not take that the wrong way, Mr Bookworm!” Remus laughed and picked up his brush again. It was stupid to expect a real answer from Sirius. The guy was insane. 

“I don’t really think that’s the reason.” Remus raised an eyebrow at Sirius who fell backwards so he was lying on his back on the bed. 

“Well… you might be able to see him. Today is the 31st of course.” 

“Why is the 31st so significant when you’re always protesting that James didn’t die?” Determined to catch him out, Remus dropped his own brush and propped himself up on his elbow next to Sirius. 

“It’s the day Lily died. Duh.” Remus rolled his eyes – it was like talking to a child with an imaginary friend. 

“But how does Lily dying make me more capable of seeing James?” 

“I dunno… ask James.” 

Sirius!” Remus sat up, irritated. He always seemed to have an answer for everything, and it was incredibly frustrating. “Why do you think I can’t see James?” He wasn’t entirely sure if he was searching for Sirius’ next answer… or the truth. 

“Maybe it’s because… you don’t want to see him.” Remus whirled around angrily. 

“How can you say that? How can you say that I don’t want to see him?!” He cried, outraged. 

“Not in that sense, Remus – maybe because you’re afraid of him being alive.” 

“I’m not afraid of James being alive – I’m not! More than anything I wish he was here with us, today more than any other!” 

“Today isn’t significant, though!” 

“And why is that? Because James didn’t die? Through some marvelous twist of fate he survived the killing curse and is standing in your bedroom doorway?!” Remus had by now jumped off the bed and was gesturing wildly to the door. 

“Yes!” 

“Stop it Sirius! Just stop playing with my feelings! I wish James was here – but he’s not!” 

“He is!” 

“YOU’RE ACTING LIKE A CHILD!” Remus roared. “You refuse to believe that James is dead because you don’t want to believe it! You close your eyes and stop your ears and won’t here a word against it!” 

“I’m not acting like a child! James has always been there you’re just too blind to see him!” 

“Can you see him now? CAN YOU SEE JAMES HAROLD POTTER IN THAT OPEN FUCKING DOORWAY?” Sirius (by now also off the bed) tore his gaze from Remus and looked at the door. He bit his lip and Remus knew he had him. “No you can’t. So stop living in a dream world and wake up Sirius!” 

“But…” Sirius was still staring at the doorway. 

“I’m sorry Sirius.” Remus was still breathing heavily, and he was angry that Sirius still wouldn’t see sense. “James is dead. He’s been dead for fourteen years and it’s time you accepted that.” Sirius stood there in silence. 

“What’s all that shouting about up there?” Came a feminine shout from downstairs. 

“It’s nothing Molly!” Remus called back. “I’ll help you with the polishing tomorrow… sorry for shouting at you like that Sirius.” Friends should be together on the day their other friends died. But if Sirius wasn’t going to accept that there was something to mourn about, then there was no use in Remus staying here. He jumped down the stairs and after waving Molly’s questions away decided he needed some air. 

He walked over to the park in the middle of the Place, which was a reddish brown color overall, where all the autumn leaves had dropped surrounding the park. He walked through the creaky gate and took a seat on a stone bench next to the miniature pond where he buried his face in his hands. He shouldn’t have shouted at Sirius like that – it wasn’t his fault. He clapped his hands as if in prayer in front of his nose and closed his eyes as a quick breeze brushed past his cheek, sending his sandy brown hair astray and flicking a few of the autumn leaves across the surface of the miniature pond in front of him. 

“Maybe James is angry…” Remus muttered bitterly. 


*

Sirius didn’t sleep well that night. Along with his argument with Remus, he also had to deal with Molly’s wrath as they hadn’t actually finished all the polishing that they were meant to. But he was left off from the full force by a phrase ‘but I suppose today is that day’. 

What day would that be? 

Why was everyone so adamant that today was of some crucial importance. Yes… Lily died, but no one knew Lily that well – not like James. But it was okay. James was always here. 

He drifted into an uneasy sleep where images began to resurface, no matter how he tried to stop them. 


October 31st. Godric’s Hollow – rubble. Where? Hagrid and Harry. Little Harry. Glasses – no! They’re not James’ glasses. Whose are they? Lily’s body- red hair flowing. Grey skin and –
No. James. “Couldn’t save them” “Mr Black; he’s dead”
Dead.
James.
Dead. Dead. DEAD.
Is what Remus said true? Is James dead and that he wasn’t accepting it? Was that true? Where was James?…Dead? Was Sirius really living in a dream world where James was alive? NO!
 


“JAMES!” Sirius bolted up from his bed, sweating and breathing heavily.


“What is it Sirius?” And the door opened and James bolted in in, walking over to the bed. “What’s wrong?” 

“It’s… nothing.” And Sirius pulled him into a tight (manly) hug. James patted him on the back and laughed. 

“What’s this for?” It was alright. James wasn’t dead. He was here. He was always with Sirius – they were best friends. James was always with him. Even on October 31st; James was always here. 

“You know… I really love that photo.” James gazed fondly at the picture taped to the wall before fading away from Sirius’ grasp. 

It was alright. James was always here. 




So there you have it, I hope you liked it :) Please, please please, leave a review - I love to hear from you guys, and it really means so much to me!
--Nick.

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