Please don’t shoot me for needing to wait so long till I posted this chapter! I am really really sorry but I’ve been busy with so many things and, Jeez, I suppose there nothing that approve my long lack of writing any new chapters :( But you must know I am really sorry! I hope you all will like this chapter; I’ve rewritten it about three times because I just didn’t think it good enough, but now I’m quite happy with it. I want to thank all my reviewers (there are so many to my great surprise) and hope they’ll keep reading my story. Checked how many people have been reading my story the other day, and I almost fell from my chair out of pure shock: more than 650 have read this story! *mouth falls open once more as she writes this down*. OK, I’ll cut it out, I suppose you all want to read the chapter. I need to warn you; the ending is quite disturbing :s Chapter three – Bleeding Wounds As he died, he will return to die in me again - Nightwish Hermione was lying on her back in the grass, staring at the bright sun that was shining merrily; a soft breeze was blowing trough her hair. Silent tears were rolling out of the corners of her eyes, leaving a black trail of flown out make-up on her cheeks. It had been a day since the meeting with the Dark Lord, and she was thinking about the memories she had seen while Malfoy had been combing through her thoughts. She closed her eyes. Why couldn’t these thoughts just lave her alone? These memories were just like wounds; every time you thought they had almost healed, they were scratched open, and started bleeding once more. “Hello.” Hermione opened her eyes with a start to find Malfoy’s face hovering above her. “For God’s sake, Malfoy!” she shouted. “You frightened me to death!” “No, I didn’t,” he said simply. “You’re still alive.” He flopped down next to her, and she hastily wiped away her tears. “I want to excuse myself for… eh-” Draco hesitated, “for yesterday.” “I don’t need your excuses, Malfoy. You knew perfectly well what you where doing yesterday, so there’s no point in regretting it now.” Hermione looked away from him; she didn’t think she could bear a conversation with Malfoy about this. She didn’t want to go through everything once more. “C’mon, Hermione. I’m really sorry.” “Leave me alone, Malfoy.” Draco put his hand on her shoulder; and she turned around to face him. To her surprise, she saw that he was looking more serious than she had ever seen him before. “Why, Malfoy. Why? Why do you regret now what you did?” she asked. “I didn’t know about all that stuff. About Potter-” he began. Of course she knew what he was talking about. Her darkest memory had revealed itself in front of Malfoy. “Well, it was obviously not my intention to make you know that,” she said, frowning. “But what, I mean… eh…” Malfoy clearly didn’t know what to say or how to say it. He cleared his throat. “Eh… I didn’t really understand that memory actually. I mean, you were seeing the Weasel, so why Potter?” Hermione remained silent; she hadn’t talked about this to anyone, let alone would she tell it to no one less than Draco Malfoy himself. “I… eh… I-” she stuttered. *FLASHBACK* Harry looked into Hermione’s eyes; his vivid green ones were twinkling in a way she had never seen before. Harry bent forwards and his lips toughed hers. She closed her eyes and felt Harry’s tongue entering her mouth. Her tongue, too, found it’s way into Harry’s mouth. Harry put his arms around her waist; his tongue entering her mouth more deeply. “What the devil are you doing?” Ron had entered the room, and he was staring at them in disbelief. “And I thought you loved me!” Ron turned around, left the room, and slammed the door shut after him. Hermione looked at Harry in disgust, and smacked him in the face. She ran towards the door, calling, “Ron! It’s not what you think!” *FLASHBACK* A dry sob escaped her mouth, and silent tears started rolling down over her cheeks once more. “It happened the day before he died…” she said almost silently “I never wanted to-” She sobbed another time. “I never had the chance to make it up with him!” Hermione wept, put her arms around Draco’s neck, and started to sob hysterically.
Everything seemed to have changed ever since that day: she didn’t completely hate Malfoy any more, but you couldn’t say she liked him either. I mean, he had comforted her, but you can’t expect someone to really like the one who knew almost about everything about you…
No, she had just ignored him ever since. She had ignored just about the whole world ever since. Okay, she knew that wasn’t really a good option, especially not if you considered the letter she had received this morning which made avoiding Malfoy completely impossible.
Dear Ms Granger,
I am pleased to inform you that you have been chosen as Head Girl of Hogwarts during your final year. Mr Draco Malfoy has been chosen as Head Boy.
You will share Private Rooms together, and you’ll both be responsible for the students at Hogwarts and the tasks of the Hogwarts Prefects.
Further information is enclosed in a second letter.
Professor M. McGonagall
Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts
A silvery badge with the initials H.G. (A/N: I know it’s quite confusing but the H.G. stands for “Head Girl” and not “Hermione Granger”, okay?) had been enclosed too.
Hermione took the badge once more, and looked at it; the previous years she would have done anything to receive this, and now it didn’t seem important anymore.
However, the Dark Lord did seem to think it was an important thing to have two of his Death Eaters at the top of the school. He appeared to think it had its advantages, which He had made quite clear, as he had summoned them right away that morning just after Hermione had received the letter. ‘Only God may know how he always manages to know everything that quickly,’ she had thought while she hurriedly changed her black pyjamas into wizard robes.
Of course, there were rewards for her too as she became the Head Girl of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. For one thing, there were the Private Rooms; it was a pity she needed to share them with Malfoy, but she didn’t need to visit that lousy Gryffindor Common Room every day any longer.
She had hated it in there ever since last year; Potter was really worshipped in there, and she could not at all pretend she was one of those silly girls who loved Potter because he was ‘the-boy-who-lived’ – he’d be better off as the-boy-who-died, she thought bitterly. It was incredible however to see how many girls did love him… It all made her sick.
She saw the picture of herself kissing Harry in her head, and shivered as her eye fell on a photo of Ron, which was standing on the windowsill. She stumbled towards it and took it in her hands. She whispered, “I’m so sorry, Ron. I’m so terribly sorry for what I’ve done to you.”
She fell down the floor, and shouted at the ceiling, “I do not deserve this badge! I don’t even deserve this life! Oh, Ron; I have nothing left! Though I’ve tried to forget, you’re all that I am. I’m through fighting it. I give up! Without you I can’t go on, anymore, ever again! It was me who needed to die, not you….”
The last sentence was barely more than a whisper, and tears were steaming over her face as she was wailing there desperately. She was sobbing like mad, sitting on her knees, clutching her face with her hands and deepening the pits her nails had created, while she rocked back and forth.
Hermione went to the bathroom, trembling, and threw some ice-cold water in her face to calm down. She looked in the mirror.
She almost didn’t recognize herself; she was thin, her body was really pale, and her eyes were red and swollen, mostly because of the cold water. But even the water couldn’t reveal the tears that had rolled over her face the previous seconds, minutes, hours or even months. She could taste the salty flavour of tears on her lips, and she swallowed.
Hermione lifted her hands and beat the mirror in fury and impotence. It shattered into a thousand pieces. There were cuts in her hands and under arms, and they were bleeding heavily. But she did not care; she just cried and fell on the ground.
Give me a reason to believe that you're gone. I see your shadow so I know they're all wrong. Moonlight on the soft brown earth, it leads me to where you lay. They took you away from me but now I'm taking you home. - Evanescence
So this was the chapter, I hope you liked it (well, I can’t really say ‘enjoyed it’ as it isn’t really a joyful chapter
Thank you, my beloved beta Sailor C!
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