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Whatever You Major Girly LOSER! by Potter Party Pooper
Chapter 1 : What Happens On Mondays
Rating: 15+Chapter Reviews: 5

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A/N: Lalala xD. So you guys I hope you like my little story! And a little before hand warning I might have school and stuff so if I don't upload in AGES then school is taking over!!
Disclaimer: None of this awesomeness is mine except Pattie and the plot. ENJOY! 

Chapter One



“Oh for Christs sake BLACK GET YOU’RE LAZY ASS OUT OF BED!” 

“Huh, wha? I’m awake, I’m awake,” Sirius said drowsily as he felt the covers being yanked back over his sleepy body. “Bloody HELL! What’d you do that for Pattie!?” 

“I just thought someone ought to tell you that you’re 30 minutes late for transfiguration and that Lady McGee is going KILL you.” Patricia sang happily. Sirius opened one of his bleary eyes and glanced up at her, 

“Then why are you here.” 

“Weeellll since I pretty much ace EVERY subject I take I thought that I might as well take a break and you know, relax” she smiled and sauntered halfway down the stairs. “Oh and Black, nice boxers.” 

Sirius ran his fingers through his sleek black hair was let out a gust of air. ‘That Patricia is a piece of work’ he thought and looked down at his boxers. He was wearing the ones that his mother got him when he was 14, the time she at least SLIGHTLY cared. He sighed and looked back at the stairs leading to the common room. ‘Well this HAS to be fun’ he thought and tossed on a pair of black trousers and his white school shirt. As he was putting on his clothes he thought back to the day he met Patricia. 

It was 5 years ago on the Hogwarts Express, he was looking for an empty carriage but the emptiest one he could find had a solitary girl sitting in it. Her black hair was tied back in a messy pony tail with hair escaping every which way. She was hunched over a small black book that looked too worn for its own good, scribbling things into it at a furious pace. Her face was scrunched in her concentration and her pointed features made her look haughty. 

“Uh, excuse me,” the girl looked up from her scribbling and her face automatically relaxed making her look much kinder. “Can I sit here? There isn’t anywhere else.” Young Sirius said as he shuffled his feet. The girl smiled at Sirius’s obvious discomfort and said 

“Sure, just try not to disturb me.” and went back to her scribbling. Minutes passed and Sirius’s curiousity was at bursting point, he couldn’t hold it in anymore 

“What are you doing?” he blurted out and quickly covered his mouth but it was too late. She looked up at the horrified look on his face and laughed softly. 

“I’m writing silly.” and once again returned to her work. Finally she shut her book and walked out of the carriage. Sirius started fretting worried he had offended her. 10 minutes ticked by and finally a head popped in and he saw a lanky boy with hair that looked like a bird landed in it and a bright smile on his face. 

“Hi I’m James Potter and I’m in my first year at Hogwarts and I’m so excited, what House do you want to be in?” he rushed in an effort to get everything out at the same time. Sirius smiled and was quickly at ease with the strange boy. 

“Hi James, I’m in my first year too my names Sirius, Sirius Black. My parents want me to be in Slytherin.” He said proudly. James looked at him like he was psycho 

“Why in the world would you want to be Slytherin, nasty bunch of buggers if you ask me. I’d rather be a Gryffindor they're brave, strong and valiant,” James said proudly “Not like Slytherins, they’re tricky, nasty and they’re cowards.” James continued rambling on as Sirius thought about the two houses and all they stood for. Until a small voice shook him out of his thoughts 

“Uh, hi?” said the girl he saw before. 

“Hi!” Sirius replied “Meet James.” And he gestured across from him. 

“Hi I’m Patricia,” she made a face at her name “but it’s best if you call me Pattie. It’s for your own health.” And smiled at her little joke.

“BLACK! What are you doing up there?” Pattie called “Don’t make me come up there, again.”
Sirius looked down and grinned. He had only his shirt on and his pants halfway up his legs. He chuckled and pulled up his pants. 

Downstairs Patricia was waiting slightly worriedly on one of the plush red armchairs she wondered whether or not Sirius had walked into a wall or something, after all it had happened before.


“Oh Siiiiiiriiiiiiuuuuus,” 

‘Ugh wake up already!” Pattie thought ‘Oh I got it!’ 

“Mr Black!” Pattie said in her best McGonagall impression inwardly smirking. ‘If this didn’t get him up nothing could’ she thought. Sirius’s eyes jerked wide open and he quickly sat straight up and ran towards the door only to miss and bash into the cream coloured wall. “Oops.” He said mildly and slumped to the floor unconscious. 

Pattie started laughing at the memory and soon enough Sirius came thundering down the stairs as he always did. 

A/N2: Soo? How was it? I'm awfully self-conscious so please review or I'd think you hated it and won't ever never continue! (Desperateness)

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