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Beautiful chapter image by ashleeex3 @ TDA 

I'm not a crybaby, I'm the crybaby
A caterpillar that got stuck
Mr. Moth come quick with any luck
A long walk to a dark house
A Roman candle heart keep us far apart

Tiffany Blews - Fall Out Boy

Punkish clothes and Flutterbye schnapps

I awoke next morning with a start. Someone had just yelled something very loudly. I turned my head quickly, there it was again. Slowly my befuddled brain caught up with my ears and figured out that the sounds made a word.


“Marlene shut up!” I groaned and rolled over. Next thing I knew someone was jumping on me. I weakly slapped them away but they were like a really big bothersome fly and just refused to leave.

“Alright, alright. I’m up!” I held my hands up in surrender and Marlene smirked as she climbed off my bed.

“What time is it?” I asked.

“ ‘Bout half six.” She replied nonchalantly, although I did notice her edge away from me as she said it.

“Marlene!” I yelled in exasperation. “It’s a Saturday!”

“Oh well, you’re up now.” I growled at her and stomped off for a shower. I emerged 20 minutes later much more relaxed and smelling of apple and cherry blossom.

The scent of my favourite shower gel and matching shampoo and conditioner.

I could hear Marlene pounding on the door but I was not about to relinquish my big steam filled room for her. She shouldn’t have woken me up. I slathered my sparkly body lotion over my legs, arms and legs giving them a cool sheen.

I then proceeded to slowly dry my hair with my wand, straightening it as I went. Finally it was poker straight and completely dry. It looked far too flat so I attacked it with my brush, back combing it to within an inch of its life. Then I twirled it round into a big messy bun. Small pieces of variously coloured hair stuck out, this way and that.

I then went through my normal make-up rituals, making the cat-flicks slightly bigger and adding bight green eye shadow. I thought I looked reasonably presentable and so finally left the bathroom in my awesome green tea coloured silk dressing gown. I found before me three very angry girls. I smirked at Marlene.

“Never wake me up at 6:30 am again.” I chucked her under the chin and walked past. Lily and Rayne turned on Marlene. It was now her fault.

The girls all got changed in record time whilst I was still emptying not only my own wardrobe, but all of theirs as well, in a vain attempt to find something I could actually clothe myself in. In the end when all the girls were ready to head out I was sitting dejectedly on my bed still in my tea green dressing gown.

“I have nothing to wear!” I wailed.

“Oh come on there must be something!” exclaimed Lily already dressed in an awesome light blue midi dress.

“No, I’m doomed to never find clothes!”

“Well maybe Josh would prefer you to turn up in the buff.” Quipped Marlene.

“Arggh… HELP!” I shouted giving up on hinting. I could not decide on what to wear.

“Here put these on.” Lily tossed me my favourite pair of red and black tartan, cigarette legged jeans. Marlene threw me her prized T-Shirt from ‘SEX’ the Malcolm McLaren shop on King’s road in London.

“Um… Marls, really, for a first date?” I held up the T-shirt which showed two half-naked cowboys (and it was the naughty half).

“So wear a jacket.” Marlene shrugged. I rolled my eyes but donned the t-shirt and my leather jacket.

I inspected my reflection in the mirror. I looked so different from the other girls it was laughable.

Lily in her cute little midi dress.

Marlene in her mini-skirt, gold lame boob tube (tube top) and big-knit, off the shoulder jumper.

And finally Rayne in her flowing Maxi dress. I was the only one of us who even looked slightly punk.

“How do I look?” I asked giving a twirl (which was really pointless as I was wearing all tight fitting clothes).

“Totally Rock ‘n’ Roll.” Replied Marlene approvingly.

After a quick breakfast of croissants and Strawberry Jam I met up with Josh in the hall.

“Hey.” I said.

“Hey, I didn’t know you were a punk.” He replied.

“Oh, I’m not really, I just like the clothes. I actually have little problem with the establishment.” I replied with a wide smile. His was a common misconception about me.

“And I don’t always dress like this. I dress how I feel.”

“So today you feeling… anarchistic?” he asked.

“Not quite. I’m comfier in jeans and a jacket than in mini-skirts and halters. Also it’s really cold.” I added with a little shiver. Josh put his arm around my shoulder and we began to walk down to Hogsmeade.

By the end of the long drive my shoulders were aching. No wonder boys always do that. They’re too lazy to carry there own weight so they lean on their girlfriends instead. I ducked out and grabbed his hand instead. My shoulders rejoiced.

“So where d’you wanna go?” I asked.

“Um well… maybe the-“

“Bookshop?” I interrupted with a smirk. He grinned sheepishly at me.

“Yeah well, you know, I am in Ravenclaw.” He said defensively.

“S’alright, I’m friends with Lily Evans, remember. I’m used to you smart people’s need for the written word. And hey, whilst we’re there I can search me out some good trashy novels.” I added.

“You can read?” he asked in tones of mock-astonishment. He does have a sense of humour! 


I laughed and jokingly punched his arm. I looked around for the bookshop, found it and looked back towards Josh, to see him rubbing his arm, a grimace on his face.


(Note to self: Do not punch boyfriend; is slightly peach-like!)

I grabbed his hand and dragged him to the big bookstore. We pelted straight through the door, setting the bell a-jingling. Everyone turned to stare. I held back my giggles at the accusing looks of the bookworms.

I did giggle a bit as Josh suddenly took the lead dragging me down the row-upon-row of books. A familiar fervour had lit up his dark blue eyes; like it so often did the eyes of my dearest Lils.

Soon he was pulling books from shelves and (rather stupidly, for a Ravenclaw) asking my opinion on them. My answering blank look made him laugh and he gave me a little push saying,

“Go find your trashy novels then!” He turned back to his paper and ink friends, still chuckling. I grinned as I skipped towards a shelf full of mostly pink spines (of books, not humans, eww).

I pulled out a couple of likely purchases including the last instalment of Fifi LaFolle’s “Enchanted Encounters” series. It was the one she finished just before her death in ’71 and had taken forever to get edited and published leaving her many fans mourning with no new trash to fill up their minds.

When I had weighed myself down with a sufficient amount of mushy, fluffy fiction, I tripped back over to over to Josh who had collected a pile much bigger than my own in various shades of brown.

They all looked incredibly boring and difficult. I would not be asking to borrow them.

“Ready to go?” he asked, shifting the weight of the books which looked even too heavy for my freak arms to carry. I nodded and gestured to said mountain of books.

“You buying the whole shop?”

“Not quite,” he laughed.

“You’re really going to carry all of those around, all day?” I asked, shocked.

“No I’m going to send them back to the castle.” He didn’t need to add the ‘duh!” which was obviously teetering on the tip of his tongue. I could read it on his face, but I was still confused.


“Magic!” he whisper-exclaimed and I blushed a bit.

“Oh yeah, I forgot ‘bout that.” He laughed and led me to the till. Then he successfully vanished our books with a flick of his wand. I felt the urge to burst into a round of spontaneous applause but decided that as this was a first date I should spare him some of my insanity.

‘Cause I’m nice like that!

I grabbed his arm and linked through it. We traipsed through the quaint little village. We laughed loads and I found that Josh’s recently discovered sense of humour was really rather good.

“I’m thirsty!” I complained after around an hour. Josh turned towards me the bag of our purchases swinging from it. He really was a gentleman, he had gallantly offered to carry all my crap for me (though he did not phrase it quite like that).

“Do you want to go in there?” he asked slightly resignedly as he gestured towards Madame Puddifoots sickly café behind him. I made retching noises.

“If you value your masculinity you will never go in, near or within 10 inches of that café. I’m a girl and it is way too much of a girl place for me. It’s totally sickly and the coffee tastes like vomit” I mimed throwing up again.

“Lovely.” Josh remarked with a smirk.

“I’m a charmer, me!” I claimed, throwing him a wink. I dragged him off to the three broomsticks. I breathed deeply as I entered and the warm, oak-wood smoke filled air warmed me to the bones.

The smoke tickled my nose and my whole body relaxed from where it had previously been tensed against the wind. I loved this pub!

It was am-ah-zing!

“What would you like? I’m buying.” Josh asked digging in his pockets for coins.

“Hmmm.” I pondered, assuming a classic thinking pose. Then I remembered the curious tingling sensation of a particular drink I had tried here last year.

“Flutterbye Schnapps.” I decided

“Your 16.” He protested and I held my finger to his lips.

“Well you’ll just have to order it then won’t you?”

“Alright go find a table. But I’m not gonna let you get pissed.” He called after me as I sashayed of wiggling my hips happily. I loved taking the piss out of people I was following and the girl in front of me happened to think that having constantly gyrating hips was attractive.

Who knows maybe it was?

Like I’d know … or care.

I sat at my table and gazed at the window laughing when a fat boy fell over.

Don’t judge me!

You’ve all done it.

“Here you go.” Josh had returned and he handed me a glass of writhing liquid. I sipped some and smacked my lips happily. I had had schnapps first at my father’s house.

My older half-sister had gotten completely car parked and given me a bunch of alcohol my favourite had been peach schnapps and I had proceeded to eagerly search it out when I had returned to the wizarding world; finding that they did have an equivalent but of course that had to make it magical and so it was made with flutterbye sap which gave it a constantly shifting appearance and a really weird feel as it writhed down your throat.

It was however gor-G-us!

Josh watched with a smirk as I shuddered happily as I felt the crazy drink dancing in my stomach. He kept on watching me.

“Do I have something on my face?” I burst out reflexively. Hoping it wasn’t too abrupt or rude.

“No, no it’s just I’ve never met anyone quite like you before in my life.”

“My mummy says I’m special.” This was in fact a lie. My mother said I was a freak. Oh well I preferred special. I had told her this, she had shouted at me.

Josh laughed and carried on.

“It’s just your so individual, spontaneous-”

“All nice ways of saying weird.” I interrupted but I smiled so he knew he wasn’t in trouble.

“Yeah but in a good way. What would be weird would be for you not to be spontaneous; for you to be able to keep still for more than 5 seconds straight, and,” he smirked over the top of his fire whiskey, “for you to have just one colour in that hair of yours.”

I tossed my hair, preened and pouted.

“So tell me about you!” I demanded.

“Well I’m a muggleborn, knew absolutely nothing about magic until I was eleven; although I was forever accidentally blowing things up.

“But you’re pureblood aren’t you?” He asked.

“No.” I said, affronted.

“But you’re a Baines!” he was clearly confused. Even though he was a muggleborn he still knew about crazy pureblood families.



“Ah… well I’m not exactly what you’d call your typical Baines. My dads a muggle, my mums still the classic crazy Baines, but my dads a muggle. I got mum disinherited, I did.”

I kept my tone light but inside I was screaming for him to change the subject.

“Oh right. Nope all muggles in my family, until me that is! Right little rebels aren’t we. We should join up with that bloodtraitor Black in your house. Then we’d have the only wizard in a muggle family, the only half-blood from a pure-blood family. And a bloodtraitor. A right group we’d make, right?” he laughed and I forced a smile.

I knew for a fact Sirius would probably punch Josh for laughing about his disinheritance.

And I wasn’t too chuffed at him for taking the piss out of my own, for that matter. But I knew that he was clueless and therefore meant no harm so I let it slide.

We spent the rest of the day browsing the shops significantly lighting our moneybags and burdening our persons. Josh literally had to drag me from Honeydukes after I ate all the samples.

Then around 3-ish Josh found us a lovely secluded corner and we whiled away the remaining hour engaged in less honourable pursuits.

It was so much fun. I was practically skipping when he kissed me goodbye just inside the Great Hall.

We went our separate ways and I sank into a seat by my friends at the Gryffindor table.

The girls looked at me expectantly.

I raised my wand and they watched as I streaked a bright sparkling strand of orange through my hair.

Marlene squealed and hugged me tight whilst Lily grinned and demanded gossip. I went through a blow-by-blow (not literally, obviously, first date!) account of what happened.

Rayne occasionally interrupted commenting on significant body language and ‘good signs’. Rayne, of course, is our total dating guru. She was now going through her story of her “splendiferous!” date with Pete. She might actually love him. I can’t believe she never told us before now!

I glanced towards the Ravenclaw table and caught Josh’s eye. He winked and I looked back down at my plate a happy flush colouring my cheeks.

I was happy.

A/N: Hey people! Sooo... what did you think? Does anyone like Josh more than at the end of the last chapter? By the way the reference to Kitty’s half-sister being ‘completely car-parked’ means she was totally drunk! Anyone who gets that reference will earn huge points in my esteem! So please review! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far I absolutely love you!!! Oh big shout out to cacophany for her numerous and amazing reviews, love you!!! Also Shewolf, ParalyzedInHeaven, dygw1700, Dancing by Magic, sirius jamie, and the absolutely amazing civilised!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love you all! Chapter image of Kitty and Josh
Sparkle x

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