"I swear I don't remember, Rosie!" James whined.
An hour later and still I had nothing out of him.
You would think binding someone to a chair and threatening their manhood would get them to remember, huh?
Well, it doesn't.
"Weasley, he doesn't remember, just let him go," Malfoy sighed heavily as he hopped up to sit on the dresser.
"Did I ask for your input?!" I snapped.
"Well, no, but I think I deserve a say, I mean, I am your husband," he smirked widely.
"Malfoy, I swear, I am this close to pulling an Unforgivable on your arse," I groaned as I pinched the bridge of my nose, "You are not, and never will be, my husband."
"Apparently, he is- PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!" James winced.
"What do you suggest we do, then, Malfoy," I grumbled as I glared at James.
"Well, maybe Al remembers something," he shrugged, "I mean, he is my best mate, so he was probably the Best Man."
"I hate to admit that's a good idea, but it is," I frowned, "Alright James, you're coming with us."
"Why the bloody hell do I have to go?!" He gaped.
"It's either come with, or stay tied to the chair. You pick."
"Come with," He said quickly.
"That's what I thought. Malfoy, let him go."
"Why do I have to-"
"Malfoy, for the love of all that is holy, shut up and do what I say."
"This marriage is utter shite," he grumbled, "Man's supposed to have authority, not the bloody woman. God, I can't wait to divorce you."
"It's not a divorce, dimwit, it's a annulment," I rolled my eyes.
"Same tossing difference. Crazy arse bint," He growled as he released James, who was all too happy to be free of his ropes.
"Now Rosie, you listen to me. I don't like being tied up like a captive. The only good reason for me getting tied up at all involves some fine bird and..."
"Finish that sentence, Potter, and it will be your last," I glared.
He mumbled something incoherent as he threw on a shirt and shoved his wallet and wand in his pocket.
"Out," I said sternly as I pointed to the door.
They both felt the dire need to groan the whole way out.
"Why isn't he in his bloody room?!" I seethed as I kicked Al's door.
"You have serious anger issues, you know that?" Malfoy chuckled.
"Shut up," I snapped.
"How about we eat, then look for him?" James spoke up for the first time in what seemed like an hour, "I'm starving."
"You're always starving, you idiot," I sighed, "Fine, we'll get breakfast downstairs."
"Yay!" He shouted with what could only be described as glee, all while bouncing up and down like a tetchy First Year in Diagon Alley for the first time.
I swear he was adopted.
"So am I the husband you always dreamed of?" Malfoy smirked as he shoved his hands in his pockets and walked beside me.
"Not even close," I snorted as I watched James hop down the stairs, "Last I checked, you are not tall, dark, handsome, courteous, chivalrous, humble, helpful..."
"Alright I get it, sheesh!" He shook his head, "And for your information, I am in fact tall, I can be chivalrous when given the chance, no I am not humble nor will I ever be, and I can be helpful depending on what you need said help with," He smirked again as he raised an eyebrow at me.
"You're a pig," I snapped as I whacked him in the arm and walked faster.
"You're the one who slept with me of your own free will," I heard him snicker under his breath, "Oh, and married me."
I just counted to ten in my head and caught up to James.
"Is it really that bad?" He chuckled.
"What?" I replied a little too harshly.
"Calm down there Rosie, just asking a question," He flinched, "And being married to Malfoy."
"You have no idea," I grumbled as he pulled a chair out for me at the little indoor hotel bistro, "Imagine being married to a rock. A very stubborn, annoying, stuck-up rock."
"I resent that," Malfoy frowned as he sat next to me, "You forgot stunning."
"You see what I'm dealing with?!" I said harshly as I waved my hands around.
"I think you need to go on meds and chill the bloody hell out," Malfoy grinned.
"She is on meds," James chuckled.
"Shut up! Both of you!" I yelled as I slammed my fist on the table.
"How can I help y'all today?" Came the sickly sweet voice of our waitress.
"Well, hello," Malfoy grinned at her, "Aren't we lucky to get such a nice waitress as yourself."
"Ugh, ew," I said quietly, furrowing my brow at him.
"You're too sweet," she blushed, "Y'all aren't from around here, I take it?"
"London," James replied quickly without looking away from his menu.
One track mind, that boy has.
"Just tea for me, please," I said as calmly as I could manage.
"Coffee for me," Malfoy smiled crookedly as he not-so-subtley eyed our waitress like a dog looking at a juicy steak.
"And for you?" She blushed under Malfoy's eye-shagging as she turned to James.
"Oi!" I snapped as I smacked him upside the head.
"Ow! What the hell was that for?" He grumbled as he rubbed where he'd been hit.
I simply glared and pointed at the ring on his finger.
"Your point? You don't want to be married to me anyways," he shrugged.
"That doesn't matter!" I whispered harshly, "Whether or not we want to be married, we are, therefore you are being a bloody adulterous cad!"
"So what does that make you?" He grinned as he leaned back in his chair, James still rambling his order in the background, "I saw you eyeing that bell-hop earlier."
"That's not the same thing!" I gasped offendedly, "I was simply looking, not actually making passes at him!"
"Thinking about it makes you just as guilty as if you'd done it, Love," he smirked, "Besides, there's nothing wrong with appreciating a beautiful woman."
"God, you are disgusting," I scoffed.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't my happy newlyweds."
I turned slowly, more out of anger than fear, to see some old fat bloke in a fail Merlin outfit that looked decades old. Not to mention the ugliest fake beard I had ever seen.
"Excuse me?" I said slowly.
"Oh boy, you don't remember?" He chuckled, "I married you two last night."
If it wasn't for the fact that James had somehow grasped my arm before I could even conjure a thought, I would have pounced on that old bastard and beat the piss out of him.
"Listen," Malfoy spoke up, noticing my clenched jaw wouldn't be letting any coherent words out anytime soon, "We just want to get this... annulled, I think the word was. So if you could be so kind as to do that, we would be forever grateful."
"Will the rings come off?" Fatty asked.
"Uh, no," Malfoy said quietly.
"Then I'm afraid I can't help you," The old man grinned.
"Why the bloody hell not?!" I yelled as I tore my arm from James' beastly Quidditch grip.
"Well, they're charmed you see," He started quietly, cowering under my death glare, "If you don't remember why you got married, and how it happened, then uh... they won't come off until you do. And I am unable to annul the marriage so... you two will have to retrace everything. Once you remember everything, come and find me, that is if you still want the annulment. You'll know where to find me."
And with that the creepy, fat, failure of a wizard crept away.
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