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Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the charcters in the amazing series, that privilige goes to our goddess: JK Rowling. I own only my OCs.

Fabulous-a chapter image by EccentricFemale @ TDA

I tell you what
What I have found
That I'm no fool
I'm just upside down
Upside Down - Paloma Faith

Gerald Dreams and Defence Practice

There it stood in front of me; soothing music played coolly in my ear and light seemed to shine from its smooth velvet upholstery inviting me forward.


I sank luxuriantly into the beautifully squashable cushions and relaxed back into it, rejoicing in the freedom of sitting in the armchair. I reached my hand behind me and stroked the rich plum velvet.

It felt like a dogs soft ear beneath my skin and as this thought entered my head their was a big, black dog behind me and I was scratching his ears. Suddenly the dog morphed once more and now I was sitting on the lap of one Sirius Black my hand caressing his hair which still carried the softness of a well groomed dog’s ear or the velvet of Gerald.

His light grey eyes sparkled at me and he smirked suggestively. We leaned towards each other and just as our lips met… I shot bolt upright in bed my eyes staring at the hangings of my four-poster.

“Well that was new,” I murmured to myself, rolled over and skipped back to the great land of nod (Sleep).

The next morning I dressed in a panicked rush as always and ended up wearing odd shoes, one ankle sock and one thigh-high sock.

I also managed to put my shirt on inside out. I didn’t realise this until I was downstairs in the common room.

By then it would have been simply unthinkable to drag my lazy arse back up all, what, 15 steps to fix my appearance. Instead I followed the girls down to breakfast as I was. Hey, you never know, I may start a new fashion.

It could be the best thing since sliced bread.

Which, incidentally, isn’t that grea-


I may or may not have just walked into a very solid and very opaque door.

And I might have rebounded off and knocked a group of first years over.

Double oops.

There is also a chance I then looked at the poor blighters, decided they looked like fallen bowling pins and yelled, “STRIKE!”.

Triple oops.

Not a good start to the day. I apologised profusely to the bowling pi- first years!- helped them to their feet, brushed them off, and went on my merry way, straight into the same door!

The first years dived for cover and I toppled on to my posterior. I WAS NOT A HAPPY BUNNY! I stood myself up and walked away with my nose in the air, ignoring the gales of laughter and being very careful to avoid the Deadly Door of Death.

I considered it a highly appropriate name.

I discovered my friends, who had left me in my time of need, sitting in the great hall. James was sitting staring at Lily with his mouth open, I considered this to be perfectly normal behaviour for the boy and so I dismissed it. I then noticed that Sirius too was gawping at dear Lily.

“What did I miss?” I whispered to Marlene.

“Lily called James, James. I think he’s gone into shock,” she giggled back.

I snorted with laughter and clicked my fingers under James’ nose. He jumped and I cackled (what? I’m a witch!).

“Pass me the bacon Loverboy,” I laughed.

I made myself a couple of pigs in blankets (much more difficult to do when the blankets are already crispy and the lil’ piggys have already been burnt alive) and stuck them through with cocktail sticks. I squirted ketchup around the bottom of the sticks and cackled.

I attracted odd looks from my friends. I lifted my plate to show my friends and told them the sad tale:

“These piggies here, well, they had been placed under witness protection you see, but the nasty criminals found them and murdered the poor little pigs in their beds.” I shook my head sadly. My friends stared at me like I was mental. I was rather offended.

“I can actually feel my brain cells dieing,” muttered Remus.

“Hey I resent that!” I shouted as the chuckleheads around me, well, … chuckled.

“Well children, I am off to Defence, care to join me?” announced Sirius offering me his arm gallantly, ruining it by smirking and winking.

“Why yes, dear sir,” I replied, yanking myself up on Sirius’ arm, “I would love to accompany you to what, I am sure, will be a truly spiffing lesson of dada.”

“What the hell is ‘dada’?” asked Lily exasperatedly.

“D. A. D. A.” I spaced the letters out to give emphasis to each. “Defence Against the Dark Arts,” I explained as if an infant could work it out.

“I like it,” decided Sirius.

“Good,” I nearly shouted. “TALLY HO,” this time I did shout, and jump on Sirius’ back, oh, and forced him to carry me to ‘dada’.

“Today,” announced Professor McLaughlin, “we will be practicing non-verbal duelling.”

A murmur ran through the class, some excitement, some resignation, some downright terror. I was a member of the excitement party. I kick some serious ass at non-verbal spells and duelling. Add the two together and, hey presto, you get non-verbal duelling.

“Divide into pairs and find a space, then begin.”

I grabbed hold of Lily and dragged her into a space leaving Marlene to fend for herself against the small but deadly Rayne Lovegood.

I turned to face Lily and brought my wand in front of my face she imitated me unsurely.

Lily hadn’t had much experience of duelling. I however had practiced often with my darling half-brother and whole host of truly lovely cousins. I bowed extravagantly to her and winked as I bobbed back up. I turned and slowly paced away. On my own silent count of three I twirled and struck. I hit Lily with her own new ‘jelly-legs’ jinx. She was not happy.

“KITTY!” she shrieked as her legs gave way beneath her. I smirked as James immediately leapt towards her and caught her before she hit the floor. He performed the counter-jinx and I scowled.

“Again, Lily said forcefully. I grinned and my wand flicked out, a silent stunner flew towards her and she blocked it sending back an impedimenta. I flung the curse away from me and swung my wand round hurling a hex at the flushed redhead in an arc.

She wasn’t expecting that and instead blocked in front, leaving her side open, and was once more knocked off balance.

“KITTY!” Lily yelled again. By now we seemed to have gained an audience. Some people were highly amused to see the infallible Lily Evans repeatedly beaten. I was rather enjoying it as well.

“What’s going on here?” the professor bustled over and stared from the floor- bound Lily to the smirking me.

“I want to swap partners,“ said Lily. I gaped at her in shock. Was she seriously that annoyed that I was better at something than her?

“I can’t keep up with Kitty; she’s far too good for me.” Lily beamed over at me and I smiled back. God, I have to stop jumping to conclusions.

“You can partner me Lily,” yapped her Terrier at once.

“Oh fine but only because I’m pretty sure you won’t try and kill me like Kit has been.” I grinned. I think James nearly fainted.

“Oy, Prongs you can’t just abandon me,” yelled Sirius.

“You can duel me Black.” I smiled up at him (did he grow over night or something?) and raised my wand. We bowed ostentatiously and mockingly and turned and took our steps.

I whipped round, my hair flying in my face, to find a spell already hurtling towards me. I reflected it towards Sirius who deflected it, hitting the ceiling.

It was my turn to attack and I sent jinx after jinx towards him, varying the intensity, positioning and curvature of the trajectory, trying to catch him off guard as I had Lily.

But Lily obviously wasn’t a patch on Sirius and we whirled around each other wands blurring and curses flying. I knew that the whole room had gone silent, where they had previously been whispering hexes and shrieking as they were hit, and I could feel their eyes watching us.

This caused a slight lapse of concentration on my behalf and I was forced to perform a somersault-come-forward-roll to avoid Sirius’ flying curse. Sirius barked with laughter and I sent a curse towards him mid-roll.

I stood to watch it hit and send him flying backwards into the tables. Applause broke out from around me and I grinned happily. I watched Sirius getting picked up by his boyfriends whilst his fan-club sent me death glares.

Sirius shook the boys off and stared at me.

“Where the bloody hell did you learn to fight like that?” he asked something akin to awe and possibly even uncertainty in his voice. I simply tapped the side of my nose preferring not to answer.

Not many people knew of the troubles in my family and how they didn’t exactly like me.

This had lead to many outburst of random duelling.

The bell rang and I left glowing from my friends praise.

Later that day as I was about to enter the common room when I heard a mutilated version of my name being yelled:

“Hey… Kit-Kat!” I didn’t even need to turn to know it was the Blockheaded Black Boy.

Oh how I love alliteration.

“Oui, madame. Que voulez-vous?” I answered. Wow where did that come from? I can speak French?

“Don’t you mean monsieur?” he asked.

“No, honey, I don’t.” I patted him on the cheek and smirked as I began to turn. He caught my arm and dragged me back around.

“So, Kitty, I was wondering where did you learn to fight like that? I was slightly scared for my life,” he asked. His hand was still on my arm.

“I could ask you the same thing, you were pretty skillful yourself.” I inclined my head to him. For it was the truth he was a formidable opponent.

“Well I have a couple of truly lovely cousins who saw fit to teach me a lesson when I became such a disgraceful bloodtraitor.” He smiled wryly a bitter twist to his voice.

“But,” he continued with a brave attempt at a smile, “I guess practice makes perfect. So how ‘bout you?”

I considered the boy before me. I had known him now for 6 years, though he did still annoy the crap out of me sometimes I considered him a friend and as I looked into his eyes, troubled as they were with the ghost of his memories, I knew that I could trust him.

He, who suffered so much from his family, would surely understand.

“You’re not the only one who’s a disappointment to their family. My mother’s family isn’t too happy that she produced a half-blood. My cousins feel it necessary to put me in my place. And,” I continued with the same attempt at a smile recently tried by Sirius, “as you said, practice really does make perfect.”

I turned from him and felt the false smile slide from my face. My thoughts drifted from my horrid cousins to my deranged mother who barely even knew me and was consumed by hatred for the man who had caused the estrangement from her pure-blood mad family- my father, a muggle.

A/N: Hey, second chapter in one day!!!! Woop! I hope this does get through in the two hours promised. Leave me a review s'il vous plait?  Chapter image is Kitty.

Edit(Dec09): Much love and thanks to the lovely zoey for her amazing beta work.

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