Chapter 15: Dreams and Nightmares
The dark corridor seems never ending. Its walls are covered by sheets of black metal and all I can see is a faint white light at the end of a seemingly never-ending tunnel. My footsteps echo in the eerie silence as my breathing paces up slowly. It looks familiar, this corridor, there’s something in it that reminds me of a place, a place I’ve been before.
I can hear talking, two voices whispering quickly to each other almost sounding as if they’re fighting. I keep waking, wanting to know who these voices are. Why am I here? What is this place? I don’t know how long I walk for; I just keep following that bright light which unfortunately doesn’t seem to be getting any bigger or any brighter. I look back behind me only to find empty darkness surrounding my earlier footsteps. The only way forwards is to follow that light and see where it takes me. I want to reach that light; something in me tells me that I need to reach it. The tunnel is too scary for me to be in; I need to follow the light.
Then suddenly everything starts to shake. An earthquake maybe? I stop, leaning against one of the walls only to find that the black metal is melting in my hands. I look down in shock at my now black covered hand and wipe it quickly on my clothes, trying to get it off. I fall on the floor due to the trembling ground, the whole of my back now covered in this black liquid. I try to get up wanting to run away, to reach that light, but my feet keep slipping and I seem to be falling deeper and deeper down the tunnel and away from the light.
A sudden laughter vibrates in the room. Chills run down my spine as the noise makes contact with my ears and I shudder slightly in fear. I manage to somehow sit up as I watch the walls in front of me melt away and leave nothing but another layer of black metal panels. The light dims considerably as I try to crawl on my knees towards it but it just seems to fade further and further away in the distance.
Why can’t I reach it?
The laughter becomes louder and louder and suddenly before I even know what’s happening around me, I start to fall, falling down into an even emptier room. As I collide hard with the stone floor, a sudden click alerts me to the fact that the room I’m in now is full of floating candles. I look around, floating candles everywhere and the sound of crying in the distance.
“Hello?” my voice is dry and deep. I sound as if I’ve been crying for days.
I get up, dusting myself of the black liquid and trying to get it off of me. I look around finding nothing but floating candles everywhere. Where am I? What is this place? The crying becomes louder and louder. It sounds like a girl, a young girl crying her eyes out over something.
“Hello, is anyone there?” I call again.
I turn around once more just to find myself staring into the covered face of a black cloaked man. I jump in fright and step away from him. His eyes are all I can see, the rest of his face and body is covered by a shimmering black cloak, floating in the dead air. He watched me carefully, paying attention to my every move as if scared of what I would do next.
“Where am I?” I ask. “Who are you?”
He doesn’t reply to me. He just keeps staring at me, his cold eyes scaring me more than anything. It’s then that I notice that his feet are not touching the ground and that he seems like a shimmering black ghost, flying like a balloon.
“Who are you?” I ask again, my voice trembling.
“What is your choice?” the man replies, his voice having a distinctive robotic edge to it. He keep gazing at me, not blinking once and not moving a single inch. “What do you choose?”
“Choice? I don’t understand what you’re on about. Who are you?” I ask again, trying to get my head around everything that is happening.
“Who do you choose?” the robot-voice-man-thing asks again.
My face gains confusion. “Who? What do you mean? Who do I have to choose?”
“Who do you choose?” he asks again getting more impatient with me. “Who do you choose, A or B?” he asks.
“I don’t understand. What’s A? What’s B?”
His body doesn’t move and yet he seems to be getting angrier. “WHO do you choose?”
“A” I reply automatically without really thinking.
The thing floats over to me, his face awfully close to my ear. “It was your decision.” he says. Another click and he disappears, just like that, he disappears into thin air as if he was never there to begin with.
But nothing could have prepared me for what happened next.
There lying at my feet was the still body of none other than my mum herself. Her head tilted to a side and her mouth slightly ajar, she lies there on the cold floor without moving, without breathing, without doing anything. Her chestnut brown hair is scrambled up under her face, knots everywhere. He arms are lying by her side, dry tears staining her face. Her eyes are closed and they seem to have no intention to be opening anytime soon.
What happened to her?
Why is she in this state?
Who did this to her?
Questions, so many questions that I just can’t answer. I feel like someone has taken a knife and stabbed me directly into the heart, taking away all sort of feeling in my body. I feel numb, as if every part of me is actually not there and I’m nothing but a body walking around but with nothing inside of me. My knees buckle and I fall down to the floor next to her. I take her hand, her cold hand. I shake it slightly, wanting nothing more than to wake her up. She doesn’t move, she doesn’t even squeeze my hand.
“Mamma?” I call my voice shaky. She doesn’t reply. “Mamma, wake up please. Svegliati, per piacere.” She doesn’t even reply to me when I speak to her in Italian. Tears stream down my face as the realization of what happens finally hits me. “No, please Mamma, ti prego, ti scongiuro, svegliati.”
I hear another faint click and suddenly the voice of the cloaked man is next to my ear again. I jump in fright slightly, more tears fighting their way down my face. “You made this decision. You chose A.” he whispers as I shake my head in disagreement. “I asked you to choose, you chose A.”
I turn around angrily, glaring at the thing and wanting nothing more than to rip him apart with my own bare hands. “No, I didn’t... you tricked me... I didn’t... she’s not dead!”
“She is” he replies. He then throws a picture down in front of me. There in the picture I see my best friend Lily and a happy looking James making faces at the camera, his arm around her shoulders as she gives me a disgusted look, shrugs his arms off making him roll his eyes, before sticking her tongue out at the camera. The ghost-thing comes up behind me and whispers horrible words in my ear.
“No” I cry as soon as he finishes. My heart seems to fall down to the bottom of my stomach as more and more tears stream down my face. “No, No, NO, NO, NO!”
He doesn’t nod, he doesn’t shake his head, he just keeps staring down at my crying face. I scream, scream like I never have before, clutching onto her hand tightly and resting my head on her stomach, crying like I never have before. I scream again and again, with the intention of never stopping and –
“Amy! Amy, wake up!”
My eyes open all of a sudden, my body sitting up immediately as I find myself staring into a pair of very worried blue eyes.
I wake up in a lake of cold sweat, my hair sticking to my face and my eyes now practically dried out of tears. My body is shaking uncontrollably as I find myself unable to speak, to utter a single word. I look around to see Maddie, Alice and Jennifer standing by my bed a look of horror on their faces. They all stare at me waiting for me to say something, to reassure them that I’m ok.
But the only sounds that comes out of my mouth is a choked sob before I break into hysterical tears, my hands covering my face and my elbows resting on my curled up knees. Maddie sits down on the bed beside me, looking more worried than ever at my condition. She hugs me tightly, rubbing my back and trying to calm me down.
“Amy, what’s wrong?” she asks me.
I don’t reply. I can’t seem to put into words what I just had to go through, what I just saw.
Maddie turns to the two girls. “Alice, please can you get me a glass of water and Jen go get Sirius.”
As Alice quickly runs into the bathroom to get me some water, Jennifer stares curiously at Maddie, confused by her request. “Black?”
Maddie nods. “He’s her best friend; he probably knows what’s going on with her.”
She nods before parting the room as well.
Maddie hugs me as tightly as she can, trying to calm me down as much as possible. But it doesn’t seem to work. I keep crying hysterically holding onto her pj t-shirt so tightly it also looks like I’m tearing it off of her. She kisses the top of my head as I keep crying, well screaming more than crying. I keep trying to convince myself that what I just saw is a dream, that it’s not going to happen, that I’m just imagining stuff that is never going to come true.
Alice comes back with the water and Maddie tries to make me drink it, but I shake my head, not wanting to drink anything. I can’t, I feel so empty, so sad and worried that I can’t bring myself to do something as simple as drinking a glass of water. She puts it down on the side-table next to my bed as Alice sits down next to me too, trying to reassure me along with Maddie.
The door opens and closes quickly. Sirius, Remus and Peter come in and rush over to my bed, where I’m still crying and screaming. They stop a shocked expression on their faces as they see the state I’m in and the way I’m crying at the moment.
“What happened?” Remus asks worried.
“I don’t know...” Maddie replies. “I was sleeping and she started screaming, I think she was having a nightmare. She kept saying no and something in Italian, I didn’t understand what.”
Maddie and Alice let go of me as Sirius sits in front of me, taking their place. He takes my face in his hands and makes me look directly into his eyes. He doesn’t smile, he doesn’t look worried, and he just actually looks serious. I keep crying but my screaming seems to have died down a little. He wipes the tears away quickly without breaking eye contact with me.
“Amy, it was just a nightmare.” I start shaking my head more tears streaming down my face. He makes me look up again straight into my eyes. “It was just a nightmare, nothing more.” His voice isn’t sympathetic in anyway, he’s just telling me what the truth is. “Just a nightmare.”
Somehow, don’t ask me how he seems to make me stop crying immediately. It was just a nightmare, he’s right. I shouldn’t be crying, it was just a nightmare, just a stupid nightmare. It was nothing more than something that came out of my imagination, it wasn’t true. It wasn’t reality. Sirius is right; it was just a pointless nightmare, nothing more than a bad dream.
Sirius picks me up in his arms, bride-style like. I lean my head on his shoulder, my face looking ghostly-like. “I’ll take her out for a bit, get her some fresh air, I’ll bring her back later.”
“Where are you going to go? It’s freezing outside.” asks Maddie.
“Room of Requirement” Sirius replies easily. “I need to talk to her alone.”
Maddie nods. “Ok, just make sure she’s ok.”
“Did you hear what she said?” Remus asks Maddie suddenly, his face deep in thought. “In Italian I mean.”
Maddie shrugs. “Something like Mamma and svegliati.” she replies. “Why? Do you know Italian?” she asks him, curious.
“A little” Remus replies. They all give him a weird look, including Sirius and Peter. I don’t think anyone knew that about him. “My mum was obsessed with me learning foreign languages when I was small because it would give me more job possibilities after I was atta-“ He stops for a split second, his eyes going very wide. “I mean erm, after I was at a party with people who knew lots of different languages.”
Maddie stares at her boyfriend in confusion.
A party where people knew a lot of different languages?
“Italian was one of the languages she made me learn, along with French, Spanish and German. But I forgot most of it now.”
“So what did she say?” Peter asks him his face slightly amused at Remus who scowls lightly at him.
“Mamma means Mum and svegliati I think it means wake up, but I’m not sure.”
Peter looks even more confused than he did before. “So in her dream her mum was sleeping?”
Sirius pales considerably, kind of understanding what it might mean. He looks down at me, at my ghost-like face knowing now what my nightmare was about. “I’m taking her outside,” he says one more time before walking out of the room.
He walks down the stairs and out of the Gryffindor common room. He doesn’t talk; he doesn’t give me any sign that he’s going to put me down any time soon, he just keeps walking to the room of requirement, whatever that is. The halls are silent except for my occasional sob, echoing through the walls. He walks up stairs and down even more corridors before stopping in front of a plain wall. I frown slightly. I thought we were supposed to be going to a room?
He walks back and forth three times and then out of no where a door appears. My eyes go wide in slight shock as he manages to open the door and step inside. He closes the door behind him before placing me down on the dry grass and sitting next to me as I curl my knees to my chest. I take in my surroundings carefully. We’re in a field, a random field with bright stars shining above us in the dark night sky
“Amy, do you want to tell me what happened?” Sirius asks me.
“It’s nothing,” I reply quickly. “I’m fine.”
He shakes his head at me. “You were crying your eyes out five minutes ago, you’re not fine.” I don’t reply, looking away from him. “Talk to me.”
“I-I... it was just a nightmare.” I say.
“Sirius please I don’t want to talk about it,” I state standing up. I walk away slowly as a small breeze blows through my hair washing away some of my newly fallen tears. He walks up to me, wrapping his arms around me from behind and leaning his head on my shoulder.
“Ok” he replies. “But you can’t keep it all in.”
My eyes drop to the floor. “I don’t know how it happened...” I look up at Sirius as he brushes the tears off my face. “One minute I w-was in a corridor and the next he was m-making me choose between A and B. I didn’t know w-what to say so I just said A. And then there she w-was on the floor, she was... she was... d-”
“Whoa, whoa, wait a minute.” He turns me around completely, taking my face in his hands and trying to understand what happened. “Who made you choose?”
“I don’t know,” I reply sobbing. “He had a weird black cape over him; it looked like a ghost, a black ghost. I didn’t w-want to choose, but he made me he-” I break into tears again, resting my head in his chest. I can’t get the words out of my mouth; I’m not able to explain to him what actually happened.
“Amy, shh, shh” His arms wrap around me tightly.
“She w-was there on the floor.” I add my voice barely a whisper. “S-she didn’t move.”
Sirius kisses my forehead, trying to reassure me and calm me down. He holds me as tight as he can, his arms wrapped so protectively around me, I feel as if nothing bad can ever happen to me. I don’t know how long it is before he finally lets me go, but long enough for me to have calmed down completely and for my eyes now dry from tears.
I open my mouth to tell him everything but he stops me. “You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to,” he says.
“No, it’s fine,” I say sighing deeply. We both sit down on the dry grass and he allows me to rest my head on his lap while he plays with a few strands of my hair.
“I was in a corridor, a proper dark corridor and I heard two people fighting. I think they were shouting but I couldn’t hear what they were saying. Then everything started shaking and like melting and I like ended up in a room where this black ghost thing was. It was really cold.” I try to hold back the tears again, I don’t want to cry. “He asked me what I wanted to choose, A or B. I dunno what A or B was but he was like getting really angry at me cause I wasn’t choosing. So I quickly said A...”
Sirius’ eyes meet mine quickly as if trying to make me see that I don’t need to tell him but I continue because I want him to know, I want him to understand. “She was there on the floor, dead. She wasn’t moving. I tried to wake her up, but she wouldn’t move.”
“Your mum?” he asks.
I nod. “Yeah, she was cold, really cold. The ghost told me that it was my fault, that I choose A and because of that she died. Then he... he...”
“What did he do?”
“He showed me a picture of Lily and James.”
Sirius looks at me confused, not quite understanding how Lily and James have anything in common with my mum. I sigh, looking away and trying to convince myself it was only a dream.
“He said they were next.”
I know what you're going to say - how dare I make you wait over a month for the next chapter when I normally don't allow such an atrocity to ever happen to my fic?
Well I have 3 reasons:
1) Queue closure
2) Had to update other stories for challenges
Ok, I have two reasons and they are very, very bad reasons but PLEASE don't hate me for it. I promise to make Dirty Little Secret my priority in story-updating now. I pinky promise... how's that? :)
Moving onto this chapter, what did you think?
THE PLOT IS PICKING UP! Yay me! Once again I have some questions here for you that you can answer in a REVIEW! (Yes I did just put in that in capital letters, italics and underlined it)
1) What do you think this dream means? Is it just a random drem that I put there to confuse her life more than it already is or does it have a meaning behind it?
2) Do you think the dream is connected to anything that will happen later in the story or not? Is she worrying about nothing?
And I want to point out how Remus nearly said 'attacked' but corrected himself. This means the girls don't know about his secret.. or do they? ;)
Now it's your turn to do me a little favour and type a few words in the little box below. It won't take much time and it will make me very, very happy :D
I'm going to end this insanely long Author's Note now.
Aurevoir (is that how you spell it!?!?)
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