Confessions of Adhara Greengrass | Confessions of spoons, stalking and broom closets
Professor Flitwick is such an odd man. Just leaping around on his desk squeaking crazy things. Honestly, telling us to conjure jets of water from our wands. He’s clearly mad. What if someone flooded the classroom… I can’t swim. This class is a danger, I tell you.
… What are we supposed to be doing, anyway? Professor Flitwick keeps shrieking, “Aguamenti” and waving his wand like a mad man, sending jests of water flying around the classroom.
Lorcan Scamander keeps glancing at me in what he thinks is a subtle way. What a queer boy. Honestly, what a creeper.
“What?” I snap at him harshly.
He looks startled. “You have wrackspurts in your hair,” he says quickly.
“What in Merlin’s purple baggy y-fronts is a wrackspurt?” I ask, touching my hair self-consciously.
“Well, they’re invisible things that float inside your ears and make your brain go fuzzy. Its odd that you’ve got them in your hair and not your ears…” he trails off, continuing to stare at my hair. He proceeds to pull out a pair of large, colorful spectacles. “Spectrespecs,” he says happily, “they help you see wrackspurts.”
What a loony.
I am so bored. I wish Eleanor was here, I’d have someone to throw things at to occupy my time. And where the hell is Scorpius? I could have used him too.
I gaze around the classroom to find a new target to throw something at. I would have used Lorcan, but he’s still staring… and he may accuse me of being a Blibbering Humdinger if I hit him too hard. I continue to look around the class… maybe I could hit Gregory Creevy, he seems pretty oblivious or I could get—
Gemma. With her ugly blonde hair… blonde hair is so ugly! Oh, right, I have blonde hair. Well, her blonde hair is ugly. Stupid, stupid, ugly badger. I search my desk for something to throw. All I have is… my quill, my ink pot, half a Honeydukes chocolate bar, some parchment and a spoon. Spoon it is.
I throw my spoon as hard as I can towards Gemma’s head. Target acquired! The spoon hits the back of her head and falls to the floor with a ping. She turns around quickly, glaring and clutching the back of her head. Someone’s got their knickers in a twist. I look away innocently and attempt to whistle. Except I can’t whistle. Gosh. She’s glaring at me now. She picks up the spoon and raises her hand, signaling to Professor Flitwick.
Professor Flitwick stops his attempts to be a fountain and addresses Gemma. “Yes, Miss Longbottom?”
“Someone’s thrown a spoon at the back of my head,” she says angrily. Gosh, she’s so wet.
Professor Flitwick looks around the classroom confusedly. “Why would anyone throw a spoon at Miss Longbottom’s head?”
Because she’s an ugly, stupid badger. Who looks bad in yellow.
“Who did this?” squeaks Professor Flitwick. A few people look at me. Traitors. I cough casually and frown confusedly as if it’s the most disobedient thing I’ve ever heard.
Professor Flitwick looks around helplessly and then continues shouting Aguamenti. Like I said, odd man.
Gemma glares at me as if she knows I did it. I smile at her. She thinks I’m crazy… I think she’s ugly.
I am so bored. I refuse to make water. And then, it comes to me… I’ll skip class! Brilliant.
I dump all my things into my backpack and I figure my chances of walking out of the class unnoticed are very slim. I’ll have to make an excuse.
I raise my hand quickly and Professor Flitwick nods wearily. “Yes, Miss Greengrass?”
Oh, probably should have thought of this before I raised my hand. Oh, well, I’ll just have to wing it. “Er… I have an eyelash in my sclera, may I be excused?” What? It’s a valid excuse.
Professor Flitwick looks baffled. I am so clever. I point to my eye for extra effect.
“Oh, yes, very well Miss Greengrass, you are excused.” Score!
I skip out of the classroom happily and trip over my robes flying headfirst down the spiral staircase. Stupid robes. I lie pathetically on the last step. My arm hurts so much I feel like I’ve broken it, but I can’t be sure because I’ve only broken one bone in my entire life… and that was Scorpius’ nose. So, I don’t really now how a broken bone is supposed to feel like.
I get up of the step and pick up my bag and continue on my trek to get to the Hospital Wing. I pass a bench with a strange blond head peaking out from behind it… wait, what? Oh, never mind, I must be delusional.
I continue walking for a moment until I hear something crash from behind me and I spin around. A suit of armor is lying strewn about on the floor and I think I can see a boy standing behind the other one… what the snorkack?
If that blond boy behind that suit of armor thinks I don’t see him, he’s sorely mistaken. He nearly knocked it over twice by trying to just stand behind it… what the hell is that boy doing? Stalker.
I step onto the changing staircase and cast a glance behind me. Okay, I don’t see anything.. its possible I’m just paranoid…
I step off the staircase and walk through the corridor, just as I turn the corner, I hear footsteps. I am being stalked! I’m not crazy!
… Er, maybe just a little.
I continue walking, I hastily glance behind me to make sure that the stalker still thinks I’m oblivious to him. I still hear it coming. I hide behind a stone gargoyle and when the stalker is just about to turn the corner, I launch myself at it and slug him in the face.
Just as I suspected. It was a blond boy, said blond boy cries out in pain.
“Holy Hippogriff, what was that for?” says the blond boy/stalker.
Oh, crap. Said blond boy/stalker is Scorpius. I’ve just slugged him in the face. Now I’ve broken two bones… Scorpius’ nose twice. I’m surprised it isn’t crooked by now… but, you know what they say, third time’s the charm.
“Well,” I say defensively, “you were stalking me.”
Scorpius sighs dejectedly, “How did you know?”
Wait, he was? “Why were you stalking me?” I ask suspiciously.
“Because… well, er— I’m not telling you,” he says.
“Why not?” I ask.
“It’s all part of my master plan… my genius life plan… concerning me and you and—,” he stops his creepy talking abruptly. Like some sort of evil Merlin. Crickey.
“All right, what does this have to do with stalking me?” I ask.
“Everything in my genius master plan of life,” he says dramatically.
“Er… I’m not into incest, Scorp,” I say as kindly as possible, “I know some people in our family are in favor of it and all… but, I’m just…”
Honestly, that’s disgusting. Kissing Scorpius would be like kissing my cousin…
… Well, he is your cousin, so technically that’s what it would be…
Ugh, shut up, brain!
Scorpius looks confused. Poor boy, he’s always so lost. I guess what they say about blonds being dumb is true… well, except me, of course.
“Why do you think that I want to do the horizontal mambo with you?” he asks, puzzled.
What a dirty boy. Men are such animals.
“You’re disgusting! How could you speak such profanities?” I shout at him.
“Me? You’re the one that brought up incest!” says Scorpius, defensively.
“Well, what the flip were you talking about ‘your genius master life plan concerning me and you’?” I ask him.
“And Albus, of course,” he says.
Well, golly gee.
Scorpius claps a hand over his mouth. “Oh, no! I’ve given away part of the plan!”
All right, then, weirdo boy. “What are you trying to do between me and Albus?” I ask.
Scorpius turns on his heel and starts sprinting down the corridor.
“Scorpius!” I shout, “Where are you going?”
He just continues running until he’s out of sight. How rude.
I continue walking until I get to the Hospital Wing’s doors. I hear Poppy reprimanding someone and a high-pitched voice shouting.
“— no, I will never ever let you turn me into a leprechaun!—”
Eleanor is standing on her bed while Poppy is trying to make her come down.
“I’m not even Irish! Go ask Sarah Finnegan!” she continues shouting. Eleanor is still feeling the side effects of the potion explosion. Don’t put your head in possibly exposable cauldrons, folks. Poppy is still trying to figure out what the side effects actually are. For now we’ve just concluded that Eleanor is crazy.
Eleanor spots me and jumps. “Adhara!” she yells, “Poppy is trying to turn me into a leprechaun!”
Poppy huffs and walks off towards her office. “And how did you come to this conclusion, Ele?” I ask her.
“Well, the pot of gold—” she stops abruptly and lowers her voice conspiratorially, “So, how did your trip to the broom closet go?” she asks, wiggling her eyebrows. Yes, definitely mad.
“Okay, Eleanor,” I say, “let’s just get you some medicine…”
“Why?” she asks loudly.
“Er… because…” You’re mad. “It tastes like bubble gum.”
“Oh!” says Eleanor, “I love bubble gum!”
“Good,” I say absentmindedly.
Poppy comes out of her office brandishing a spoon and a vial of bright pink liquid.
“Bubble gum juice!” shouts Eleanor happily. Poor naïve girl. If an evil wizard came up to her with poison she’d probably think it was pumpkin juice.
Eleanor grabs the vial out of Poppy’s hand, downs it and promptly passes out. Lovely.
Poppy looks relieved and walks back to her office.
Now I really am a loner. Wonderful.
I walk out of the Hospital Wing and get on the changing staircase, as I’m walking down it, it rapidly changes its course. How typical of my life.
The staircase moves violently and places itself to the entrance of the fifth floor corridor. Great.
I pull my book bag higher up on my shoulder and walk through the deserted corridor. I hear the staircase change its course again and another take its place. I hear footsteps and turn the corner quickly. I hope to Merlin its not Filch, he’s so creepy. The man it so old I’m surprised he hasn’t dropped dead yet. And his cat. More like his lover. What do you even call people who’s sexual orientation is liking cats?
The footsteps are approaching and I peek past the corner to see who’s there. Mother of Voldemort… it’s Albus. Honestly. I’m convinced that the higher power and all his minions really do hate me.
I grab my bag and begin sprinting down the corridor, I pass three locked classrooms before I see my salvation. A broom closet.
I hastily wrench open the door, launch myself inside and slam the door. Life isn’t that horrible after all.
I hear the footsteps about to pass… except they don’t. They stop right in front of the door and the knob turns slowly. Definitely not merciful Mother of Voldemort, why me? The door opens and I come face to face with Albus. He sees me hunched over, breathing heavily, hair flying, probably red-faced and maniacal looking. Oh, how attractive. Cue awkward silence.
“Erm…” he runs a hand through his messy hair, ruffling it, “What’re you… doing in... a… broom closet?”
“Looking for my… chocolate,” I lie smoothly.
He raises and eyebrow, “Uh, okay.”
Just then Scorpius appears behind Albus. He slams Albus into me and we both topple over, him on top of me. Scorpius shuts the door and outside I hear him muttering a locking spell. Traitor!
Oh, my god. Albus is on top of me. Albus is on top of me. His whole body is covering mine and he’s breathing heavily and his emerald green eyes are staring at me stupidly. His biceps are encircling me and his hands are right next to my face. His luscious lips are so close to mine… I want to snog his face off. Stupid teenage hormones.
I clear my throat awkwardly and Albus snaps back into reality. He eases himself up and off me and exaggeratedly brushes himself off. As if I have cooties.
I just lie there stupidly. My hair is messy and I try in vain to flatten it. No such luck. I get up slowly and walk to the door. I try the doorknob, which is locked. Stupid Scorpius. I will kill him. I pull out my wand and mutter Alohomora. Still locked. Since when does Scorpius know advanced locking charms? I knew paying attention in Flitwick’s class would pay off someday. FML.
I launch myself at the door but it doesn’t budge. Bugger.
“I reckon he must’ve put an advanced spell on it,” Albus says, rubbing the back his neck.
“Yeah,” I say and sit myself down in the corner farthest away from him. I pull my book bag towards me and pull out my Charms textbook, holding it up to cover my face from Albus.
I glance over the top of my Charms textbook to look at him. He clears his throat and sits down cross-legged across from me. I avert my eyes quickly and pull the book closer so my nose is grazing the page.
“What’re you reading?” he asks conversationally.
“Er, about… wrackspurts,” I reply, without looking up.
“Those things that the Scamander twins are always going on about?” he asks.
“Er, yeah,” I say.
“Oh, I thought they were a myth,” he says. I don’t have to look at him to know he’s smirking. Bloody wanker.
“They’re not. I’m reading all about them here,” I answer.
“Really? And how does one read with their face a centimeter from a book?” he asks.
His hand reaches out to lower the book so that we’re face to face. I let go of the book and he pulls it toward him and closes it. He smirks slightly, “So, can I tell you something honest?”
I love you, Adhara Greengrass. Shut up, brain! “Sure,” I answer.
“You’re the worst liar I have ever met,” he says, grinning.
He laughs and I feel myself laughing as well.
He smiles and lies down, resting his head on his arms. “So,” he says, “I think we’ve made some progress, you haven’t turned me into anything or pushed me out of the window yet.”
I blush in return, “Don’t say that, you might jinx it.”
He looks up at me, “Yeah, you’re right.”
He pats the floor next to him and I lie down so that we’re beside each other. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. I’m lying next to Albus Severus Potter. I want to snog him senseless. Brain, control your hormones!
“You really are completely mad Adhara Elvendork Greengrass,” he says, turning over on his side to face me. His face is so close… would it be too forward if I touched him?
“Hey!” I say indignantly, “I don’t have it that bad… at least my middle name isn’t Wilburforce, like my brother’s or Hyperion or… Severus.”
He smiles. “I’ll have you know I’m named after two of the most noble wizards of all time,” he says, poking me.
Albus Severus Potter just poked me. He touched me. Conclusion: he wants me.
“Excuse me?” he says playfully, “Do you doubt my noble name?”
“Maybe,” I say.
“Really?” he asks, grinning, “I think you’ll regret that.”
“Why?” I ask, laughing.
“Because…” he says.
I raise an eyebrow. He’s coming closer… he’s so going to kiss me! Shut up, brain!
His arms encircle me and he begins tickling me.
“No!” I say, giggling helplessly.
“Yes,” he says, “this is what you get for making fun of me.”
Albus Potter is touching my stomach. I try to roll away from him with no luck. He pushes me down and somehow he rolls on top of me, breathing heavily and tickling me.
He stops tickling me and I stop giggling.
Albus Potter is on top of me!
Albus is just looking at me. His green eyes are searching my face. I look back at him. Our eyes lock and he lowers himself so that our lips are inches apart.
Rowdy Rowena, Albus Potter is going to kiss me.
Albus licks his lips nervously. His luscious pink lips… Shut up, brain!!
“Adhara,” begins Albus, “I know… but, I just… have to.”
He looks at me one last time and just as our lips are about to meet— I hiccup. Yes, I hiccup. Why, Merlin, why??
A smiles tugs at his lips. “Adhara Greengrass, you are the most—”
At that exact moment the door of the broom closet swings open to reveal Scorpius. Who looks scandalized. And Gemma. Who looks livid. I wonder why…
And then I realize its because Albus is on top of me, our clothes disheveled and our hair, messy. Oh, fuck.
Albus doesn’t get off me right away. I think he’s too shocked. But, after a moment, he lifts himself off of me— for the second time today and stands there awkwardly.
Gemma’s mouth is hanging open and Scorpius reaches out his hand beneath her jaw and closes it. The color returns to Gemma’s face. Her cheeks turn crimson. Wow, she’s so red, like a lobster. A human lobster. Crickey.
“Gemma,” begins Albus, “I’m so sorry, I—”
“I hate you, Albus Potter!” she shrieks. “You stupid arse!”
Albus looks guilty. And I realize its all my fault.
Tears are streaming down Gemma’s face. Albus reaches out to grab her hand but she shakes him off. “Go to hell, you manwhore!” she shrieks. She turns around and is about to stalk off but she turns back around suddenly. “And you!” she screams, pointing a finger at me, “You stupid slag! How dare you seduce my boyfriend!”
She rushes off without another word.
“I’ll just go…” says Scorpius quietly, following after Gemma.
Albus looks pained.
“Albus,” I say, “I’m sorry—”
“Just… don’t, please,” he says quietly. He goes back into the broom closet, grabs his bag and takes off.
Sweet Salazar. And we didn’t even kiss.
I sit dejectedly on the floor and stare at the ceiling. I hear footsteps and I look hopefully at the corner to see if it Albus… coming back to tell me…
Except its Scorpius. Looking angry.
“Why the snorkack did you do the full monty with Albus in the broom closet?” he exclaims.
Author's Note I can't believe its the 10th chapter already. Anyways, I saw some people nominated Confessions of Adhara Greengrass for the Dobby's. I'd just like to say thankyou. I really didn't expect it and I can't believe people would even consider this. I really appreciate all the support from my readers for this. I'd also like to thank my best friend who's prongs_lives_on78 on this site and who goes through my chapters before I post them to tell me if they're good or not. Another thing: I made an author's page! So if any of you guys wanna stop by and leave a question... please do! I think that's about it... sorry for the long author's note. Check my Author's page for when I'm updating! Thanks for reading!
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