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Chapter 10 - Separately




Made me think for a moment that
Maybe we were meant to be
Living our lives separately            
- Desperately by The Wreckers

Lily’s POV

So, Lea’s crying. Maisy’s crying. Sirius is, probably somewhere crying. Ruby’s escaped to Ravenclaw tower sporting a black eye. And Jason may as well be crying, idiot boy. Oh, a Hogwarts love life, eh?

Am I the only person here who actually feels like life is worth living?

I’m guessing that’s a yes.


Earlier this week…

“I’m sure it’s not what you thought it was,” I said, for the twentieth time in six minutes.

“You didn’t see him, Lily! All over her – it was disgusting!” Maisy huffed, throwing clothes in her bag with such force that it toppled off the bed. “UGH! I FUCKING HATE LIFE!”

“Maisy, chill, it’s just a suitcase dear…”

“And how would you feel if I knocked over your suitcase of clothes?!” she hissed at me.

“I’d be pissed. I’ve actually folded mine all neatly, thankyou.” Ha.

“Yeah okay, rub it in.”

“A messy bag is a messy mind!” Ava called from the bathroom, through a mouth of fluoride froth.

“Thankyou, Miss Psychology.” Maisy paused, and opened her top drawer, took out three crumpled letters and thrust them deep inside her robes.

“Maisy, hun, c’mon. Leave them here.” I tested her.

“I’m not leaving the most important things I own at school for the holidays.”

“Well, we’ve got a few lessons left yet, can’t you live without them ‘til lunch?” She narrowed her eyes at me and cocked her head to the side. I guessed that was a no.

“Did I tell you she was wearing fuchsia. Fuchsia! What a slaggish colour, don’t you think?” she rambled, staring myself and Ava down. She looked over at Lea who was led on top of her sheets, not even dressed for lessons yet. “WELL?”

“Yeah, totally.”

“The most slaggish colour ever known to mankind.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” she said, zipping the case and grabbing her wand. Red sparks flew from the tip as she picked it up.

“Why does it always do that?!” she screamed at it, throwing it towards the door.

“Urgh, cos you treat it like shit and doesn’t enjoy being used as a punch bag?”

“Yeah Maisy, wands have feelings too,” I said, caressing mine possessively. Nippy, good for Charms, which was ironic, seeing as Charms was possibly my strongest subject.

“You guys are so fucked up. Life’s so la-di-dah for you, right?” Oh god, here we go.

“Maisy, I know you’re upset about Sirius, but at the end of the day, he’s just a guy…”


Oops. “Well, okay he’s your guy…” I said.

“And he loves you!” Ava called, spitting into the sink. The tap ran.

“You are such shitty friends.” Maisy said, grabbing her school satchel and leaving the room. The door slammed behind her and the handle wobbled precariously before falling off altogether.


I looked at Ava who laughed. Drama drama drama. Jason kisses Maisy, Sirius kisses Ruby, Maisy flips out, Lea becomes depressed over a weekend. Gryffindor girls, 1978 – crazy bunch!

“Lea, you gotta eat,” I heard Ava say softly to her. I picked up my bag and leant against my four-poster bed. She looked so sad. I kind of felt guilty for feeling in love now.

“He’ll be there.” She said. Her lips went white and trembled.

“I’ll bring you out some toast then, we can eat outside the charms classroom, okay?” she said, lifting Lea out of bed and grabbing her uniform from the wardrobe.


“Promise you’ll eat it?”

“Promise.” She smiled weakly, dressing slowly.

Ava turned to me and smiled. “I’ll see you in Charms then.”

“No worries,” I beamed. “See you in a bit, ladies.”

“Remember, fuchsia is bad!” Lea called to me.

“Was that a sentence?!” I gawped at her.

“I’m not a complete zombie, Lily,” she laughed. “Jason can have whoever he wants – it’s nice to known that Maisy will beat him down if he comes anywhere near her again though.” She giggled. YAY! GIGGLES!

“Good times, good times! Haha, I look forward to the day he actually does confront her.”

“Yeah, it’ll be like World War Three has broken out.”

We all laughed. “Well, here’s hoping he’s not wearing fuchsia when he does.” I joked, leaving the girls and heading down to breakfast.



“Malevolent little bitch.” Maisy bitched from opposite me. She glanced at Sirius, who was looking at her, and they both looked away from each other automatically. I smiled at James, who was sitting closer to me than Sirius was to Maisy. Here they were, yards away from eating breakfast together, but not even acknowledging each other. Great.

“Yep, she’s a bitch.” I said, bored. Would it be like this all Christmas?

“Oh my god she’s coming over!” Maisy snarled, turning one eighty on the bench to watch the ‘tramp’ slouch over to the Gryffindor table. I swear I heard Maisy snarl. Cross my heart, hope to die.

“She’s coming to see Sirius!” she said, gob-smacked. Sirius wouldn’t be with Ruby – no way in hell.

“They’re so together!” said Maisy, alarmed at the thought. Oh god I did feel for her. Ruby put her hand on Sirius shoulder and he flinched, taking her hand off of his shoulder and speaking in low voice to her.

“I’m gunna fucking say something.” Maisy said, standing up and walking towards her without a glance back. I put my head in my hands. Oh this would not be good.

“Oi, Ruby.” She said. Oh god oh god oh god.

“What’s happening here,” came a voice from beside me. James wrapped his arm about my waist and nabbed a piece of my toast.

“Well, you know Maisy saw Sirius kiss Ruby at the ball…” I said. But he interrupted.

“Maisy went to the ball!?”


“She saw Sirius kiss Ruby?”

“Yep. Trust me, she reminds me every five minutes.”

“I don’t think that’s the whole story…”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, there was a lot of Firewhiskey at that ball, you know…”

Oh god. “He slept with her, didn’t he!” I almost shouted. Bastard! How dare he!

“No no no no no no!!” James looked offended. Nawh, sweet. I smiled. “He didn’t do anything. Ruby kissed him. He was absolutely mortified at the thought of even being near her! Why are you looking at me like that?” he added.

“Just thinking about our night, ha. Slightly different to everyone else’s, right?” I smiled. He put his head on my shoulder and sighed.

“It was definitely one of the best nights of my life. Being with you.” He looked up at me and smiled. I beamed at him and kissed him full on the mouth. “You know, this feeling I have for you right now, it’s never gunna go away.”

“Yeah right!” I gawped at him.

“No, I’m serious. I’m so head over heads in lo…” but he never finished his sentence.

“YOU MALICIOUS BITCH!” A blur of black robes fell to the floor. The teachers stood up at their table and gaped at the ‘Muggle duelling’ that was occurring under their noses.

“HOW DARE YOU EVEN GO NEAR HIM!” Maisy shouted. Sirius was sat on the bench, only metres away. He scooted down towards me and James, mouthed – What’s up with them?

“You’re really asking that?”

“Well, yeah, Maisy’s always liked Ruby…”

“Until she saw you making out with her.” James nudged me. Sorry.

“What?” Sirius’ jaw almost fell off his face, I swear.

“Mhmm, Friday night. She’s been bitching about Ruby all weekend. Guess it’s all caught up with her. Maisy has a mean right hook by the way, I think you should let your girlfriend know that before you let Maisy see you together again.”

“I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING YOU PSYCHOTIC FREAK!” Ruby shrieked. Professor McGonagall got up from her seat and hurried towards them.

“Ruby kissed me! Why would I wanna kiss her? She was drunk and persistent. I’m in love with Maisy – why would I pick a fling over a lifetime?”

I looked at Sirius, his steely eyes sad and seemingly endless. Poor him. Poor Maisy.

“She’s not angelic either, you know!” he said, rubbing his forehead.

“Wooooooooah, Sirius! You never told me you…” James said. I nudged him.

“No, nothing like that. I saw her kissing Jason!”

Oh my days this was just so messy.

“But, Jason kissed Maisy!”

“Didn’t look like that from where I was standing.”

“Well, he’d had a lot to drink, and you know how strong he is anyway…”

“MISS HEART LET GO OF MISS FOSTER’S HAIR!” McGonagall instructed, tapping Maisy’s shoulder consistently as she tumbled around on the floor.

“And she couldn’t get free once he’d got hold of her.” It was true. Jason’s such a sleeze bag anyway.

“Please tell me that’s all true.” Sirius said, through gritted teeth.

“Scout’s honour.” I said, holding up my fingers.

“What are Scouts?” said Sirius, looking confused. God, growing up with Muggles did take toll on school life.

“Never mind that, what are you going to do?!” I said.

“I’ll let you know when I get back,” he said, rolling up the sleeves on his robes and departing from the table.

“Sirius! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!” I shouted over Ruby’s incessant shrieking (“Say you surrender! SAY IT!” Maisy kept repeating, pulling harder on her pony tail).

Sirius walked over to the Hufflepuffs and lifted Jason out of his seat in one gracefully slide. He then drew back his right arm and sent it flying into Jason’s jaw. Jason fell backwards onto the floor, cursing and moaning, holding his hand to his jaw. Sirius walked away, shaking his hand out from the collide.

“Fuck me that hurt.” He said, sitting down again, as if he’d just got up for a cup of tea, or a morning stroll.

“That was bloody brilliant!” James smiled, shaking Sirius’ left hand. “God you’re awesome. I’m proud to call you my best friend!”

Sirius smiled and laughed. Remus skidded into view seconds later, dragging Ava who began to fill her napkin with half a loaf of toast, then bolt for the exit.

“Did I miss anything?” Remus said. I glanced behind him and pointed. He looked over and dropped his fork. Ruby and Maisy and McGonagall were stood in the centre of the hall, most eyes of the students fixed on them. Ruby had a black eye and bruised lip. Maisy just looked rather disturbed. Her hair was awry and her robes were slightly dusty, but other than that, she looked like the clear victor here.

“You’re joking! Maisy beat up a Ravenclaw? WOAH!” Remus said, laughing and chocking down baked beans. “Odd. That Ruby girl is the same girl who came onto Sirius at the Ball.”

We all gave him the ‘duh’ look. “For a book worm, you’re not incredibly smart are you?” I said when his mouth changed into an ‘o’ shape, in recognition of what had happened.

Maisy indicated me to leave with her as she was reprimanded and sent from the hall. I swiftly kissed James, said my goodbyes, and fled from the Hall.

“Maisy, are you, urgh, okay?” I said, dusting off the lapels of her robes.

“Yeah! Little bitch wont be coming near Sirius again.” She said, smiling like a maniac.

“Oh god.” Scary. Scary Maisy, not good.

“I told her if she came near Sirius again, she’d be buying a wig, not a new pot of foundation.” She continued to smile. Gotta hand it to her, she was pretty feisty for a girl with such a receding personality.


“Yeah, and then she told me to back off cos she was in love with Sirius. The cheeky cow! I punched her in the eye for that, bitch.”

“Maisy, you know Sirius probably didn’t mean to be with Ruby…”

“Oh, so he accidentally stepped forward and his lips met hers?” she said, nastily.

“No, I’m just saying, maybe it was Ruby. Like with you and Jason…”

“Oh, please! Boys like Sirius only want one thing…”


“Don’t be an idiot, Lily.” She scathed, flouncing from the Entrance Hall, leaving me alone and leaving herself with something to consider.



“He’s not eating again, Lil,” James said, looking up from his essay on the Friday night. It had been another week, another week with no Sirius-Maisy chat. She was completely ignoring him. And he was completely ignoring her.

“LILLLLLLLLY!” someone shouted from the doorway, rushing in, panting. Maisy collapsed onto the sofa next to me and James.

“I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!” she said, smiling at James as a hello, then turning to me. “Did you know, Sirius knew about Jason?!”

“Urgh, yeah kinda…” Shit. I forgot to tell her.

“DID YOU TELL HIM!” she shouted. Oh dang.

“It slipped out! We were talking about the ball…”

“Thought we were in this together, Lily. You said you were on my side. He kissed RUBY FOR GOD SAKE.”






“WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?” she laughed. Oh, thank god for that.

“Maisy, he’s so in love with you, and you’re so in love with him, I don’t understand!”

“It’s complicated. He was with Ruby. His dad killed my mum. Lots of things, really.”

“And he’ll always love his hair more than you,” James added.

“Not helping,” I spat.

“ANYWAY, I’m sick of him fucking me around, so I give up now. He can have Ruby, and I can finish my education in peace.”

“But you love him.”


“All you need is love.” James added. Another inappropriate comment.

“James, shut up, yeah?” Maisy said. “Right. He’ll get over it. As long as he’s happy with Ruby, that’s all that matters. As long as he’s happy.”

She looked so sad, it was heartbreaking.

“You know what he said to me on Monday…”

“No, I don’t want to know.” She said, getting up to leave.

“No, listen. He said, why would I want a fling with Ruby when I can have a lifetime with Maisy.” She looked down at her hands and left the room, knocking into Ava and Lea who were coming down from the dormitory and heading for a late dinner. I waved at them, they both smiled and waved.

“Love’s complicated, eh?” James said, sarcastically, picking up his quill again.

“I don’t get it. They’re meant for each other! She still thinks he’s in love with that fuchsia coloured cow.”

“Oh, I love it when you’re all feisty. Reminds me of the good ol’ days, when you would hex me just for saying hello.” He tilted his head back and looked up, mocking nostalgia. I hit him.

“Shutup. This is about Maisy and Sirius.”

“I wouldn’t worry, sweet. Sirius will be at mine on New Year’s and he’s got a plan.” He tapped his nose.

“Romantic?” I asked, smiling at the thought.

“Oh yes. Sirius is a romantic fellow. He actually asked me to give you this letter to give to Maisy.” He said, pulling a crumpled envelope out of his bag.

“OPEN IT!” he giggled. With my wand, I scored a line around the seal and opened the letter magically, pulling out the note inside. One word was written on it.




“Will she understand this?” I said, confused.

“I hope so, cos I don’t.” he laughed.

“It could be about anything, bless him.” I said, smiling.

“He’s such a romantic! Guh”

“Well, if you wanna be romantic, you could send me love letters. I wouldn’t mind,” I winked and smiled at the thought.

“Oh, so now you’re using me for letters and for se…” I put my hand over his mouth. There were people around.

“You may be secure about you sex life but I’m not having mine blurted around the castle in the form of childish rumours.”

“Lily, don’t worry, it’s cool.” He said, putting his head on my lap and beginning to write on a new piece of parchment. “My dearest Lilyflower…”

I hit him, again. He must have so many bruises. “Don’t take the piss! I want to gush over these when I’m old and withered and wrinkly!”

“You wont need them then,” He said quietly.

“Why not?”

“Cos I’m gunna be sat in the rocking chair next to you, chewing on my gums and messing up your yarn; when you’re old and withered and wrinkly. We’re forever Lily, haven’t you worked that out yet?”



I’m so in love. So so so so sooooooooooo in love. The clouds threatening rain look like fluffy bunnies. The icy ground looks like meadows, blossoming with sunflowers. Life, is good.

I looked up from the flames in the fire and saw Sirius walk into the common room. God, I’d been waiting hours.

“I’ve been waiting hours for you! Where have you been?” I asked, patting the space on the sofa next to me. He sat down and exhaled very slowly.

“Been in the library.” Oh, okay then..

“Anyway, I have to tell you something very important.”

“Shoot.” He said, staring at the flames, entranced. I swear the fireplace was magical sometimes…

“Maisy wont talk to you because your dad was the guy in the Department of Mysteries who fucked up the work her mother was doing and wouldn’t help her fix what went wrong. Then, it went so wrong, that the malfunction eventually killed her mother.”

“That explains the ‘I didn’t kill her, you did!’ then, doesn’t it?” he said, sadly.

“Did you know about this?” I asked.

“No, I haven’t spoken to the olds in months.”

“Oh, well, I’m sorry I had to be the one to tell you. But, that’s the reason. Her dad has told her to be happy but she’s so sad about her mum, so it’s all fucked up.”

“Ruby didn’t help.”

“No, true, she still thinks you guys are in love and planning to elope.” I laughed nervously. He didn’t show any sign of emotive response. He looked, dead.

“You okay?” I asked.

“No, not at all. I’m in love, I’m out of love, I’m being ignored and I’m facing the holidays with no contact from Maisy. At least here I can listen to her talk or see her everyday. I miss her. So so much.” He put his head in his hands. I put my hand on his back. Oh god, this was so messed up!

“She keeps that new letter with your other one now, ya know.” Bless her. She’d cried when she received it.

“Did she like it?”

“Well, I guess you could say that,” I smiled. “Sirius, don’t worry about her anymore. She’s fine. She just needs time to think things over and realise that Ruby is just a twat.”

“Ha, true. Can’t stand that girl.”

“Mhmm, she ruined your chances of you and Maisy getting together. I’d hate her too.” I mused.


“Urgh..” What? Confused…

“Me and Maisy were gunna get together?” he said, turning to face me now.

“Well duh, why else would she buy a grey dress and come to the dance?!” I said. Are boys really this idiotic?

“Oh. Oh shit.” He looked suicidal now. Oh fuck. I hastily picked up the quills left on the table. He didn’t even realise I’d moved. Smooth on my part, I thought.

“It’ll work out soon.”


“I’m sure.” I smiled and dragged him upstairs to the dormitories. Sure? No. Shit. Fuck. If Maisy didn’t forgive him now – this would break his heart.



When I walked into the dorm soon after, a small envelope was resting on top of my pillow. I opened it hastily, even getting a paper cut from it. Inside was a short poem.


Roses are red

Violets are blue

Poems are shit

But beautiful too.


Daisies are white

Grass is green

I’ll write more letters

If you’ll be my queen

So, sun shining bright

And heavens a-glow

Sending you this

Made my feelings grow

 I love you, Lily. X


Corny, but perfect James. I took the note and thrust it into the pocket of the jeans I’d be wearing home. So what? I could keep a letter on me at all times too.

A/N: Bad? Good? What do you think? Lily's POV, it had to be done! Now ya'll know what runs through her little head.
Leave me a review, I dare you. xD

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