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“That’s a bit of a loaded question, Jen,” James scowled, his eyes darting to me rather quickly. I looked to the ground, my cheeks growing redder and redder by the second. Jenny smirked deviously, her eyes moving from James to me and back.

“That’s the penalty for being a poof and choosing truth!” Sirius barked, shoving Droobles into his mouth. He chomped loudly, and when he looked at me his eyes brightened.

“Well, I happen to think that a question like ‘do you think Lily is beautiful’ is a bit strange. It’s not very kind of Jenny, because—“

“Just answer, James, this game is going to be painful enough without added awkwardness,” I told him, my head still bowed in an unsuccessful attempt to conceal my blush.

“Fine, okay? Yes, yes I do,” he said calmly. I bit my lip, trying to hide a smile and then looked up. This time he wasn’t looking at me, but at Jenny. I looked down at the ground and saw the bottle head turned towards her. How convenient, I thought to myself.

“Truth or dare, Jenny?” James asked. I laughed inwardly at the tone in his voice—bitterness spewing out of his pursed lips.

“Unlike some people,” Remus chuckled at Jenny’s comment. “I’m not afraid of a challenge. Dare!”

“Well, since you apparently like a spotlight, how about you dance for the rest of the game?” He smiled at her, like this was a favor to her. She got up and started bouncing around, hyper and fun. I looked at her, confused.

“Wait, Jen, you’re seriously doing it?” I stared at her as she jumped up and down, her hair coming out of its band.

“It was a dare, Lily!” She rasped as though it was obvious and a stupid question. I immediately categorized Jenny as the girl at those post victory quidditch parties, the one who always wanted to play spin the bottle, who flirted with anything that walked, that coyly batted her eyelashes at the sweaty players.

I rolled my eyes and watched as Jenny started to sway rather than bounce. She screamed out in a high pitched squeal and kept going, her energy seemingly palpable.

Out of my peripheral vision, I could see Remus slapping Sirius’s hand, both of their expressions slack-jawed and stupidly happy.

“Spin the bottle for me, Lil?” she gasped out, a few small beads of sweat forming on her brow. I laughed and complied, giving a good hearty flick of my wrist. The bottle zoomed a little to my right, but kept spinning. It landed on Sirius.

“Sirius,” Jenny giggled, “truth or dare?”

Even though she was swaying and constantly moving, I swear I saw her eyebrows turn upward and then downward. Rolling my eyes, I looked to see Sirius, still staring goofily at the girl in front of us.

“Sirius,” I said sharply.

“Huh? What?” he stumbled, sitting straight as a board for a moment before seemingly realizing what was happening. “Me? Oh…er, truth?”

“What happened to the macho persona that was taking the mickey out of James for picking truth?” I asked. Sirius looked at me, his eyes curious.

“James?” Sirius raised his eyebrows. “Since when do you call him James, Lily?”

“Oh shut it. Ask him something, Jenny!” I murmured quite loudly. Jenny giggled.

“Sirius, what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done in school?” She breathed, twirling around in circles like a ballerina. She probably was a ballerina; that would explain so much.

As Jenny confirmed my suspicions with a very expert fan kick, Sirius slurred his answer, his eyes fixed on Jenny’s movements, “I charmed doors to close on McGonagall for a whole day.”

“That’s horrible!” I gasped, shocked, at the same time that James exclaimed, “That’s brilliant!”

“How come you never told us that was you?” Remus asked, confused.

Sirius flushed, and gave a soft chuckle, bowing his head. “I didn’t want you guys to think I was bragging.”

“Oh yeah, I remember that now!” James laughed. “Back in fourth year—before we all really knew each other.”

At that last comment, he threw a wink over to Remus, which I tried to decode for several minutes afterward.

“My turn!” Sirius barked. He spun the bottle and as I prayed silently, I watched it rotate. It’s comical how a simple bottle can become something so threatening.

As fate would have it, my life sucks, because that bottle foolishly halted in my direction.

“Lily would you like truth or dare?” Sirius smirked.
“Truth?” I said fearfully. I looked down at my hands, which were pressing against each other in my lap. I bit my lip, and waited.

“Hmmm,” Sirius muttered. “I hate when they pick—oh! Okay, Lily, what’s the sexiest thing that a guy can—“

I didn’t let him continue, but held up one hand, “Stop! I pick dare!”

“You can’t change!” Jenny’s words resounded as she started doing some kind of two-step.

“Well I just did! Lay it on me, Black,” I muttered.

“Whoa, Lil, take it easy,” Remus laughed. I silenced him quickly with just one look—the power!

“Well, if you insist, you can just snog Prongs over there senseless until I say stop. Oh, and you won’t be out here with us, you’ll be in the loo—with all the privacy that we know you truly desire, and—“

“This game is ridiculous!” I exclaimed, standing up. I started to back away.

Sirius eyed me, a smirk playing on his lips. He raised one eyebrow, “What’s wrong, Lily?”

“This game! It’s just so…juvenile! I think I’ll go back to my book,” I was already sitting on my bed, picking up my book, and unclamping the page that was dog-eared. I sighed and read:

The appeal of the man was not so much his toned arms or his crooked grin. His boyish hair was swished every which-way off his head, his eyes darted from her eyes to her lips. Instantaneously, she felt a strong aching desire to be near him, to feel his arm muscles ripple against her. She licked her lips in anticipation and found herself imagining the night they would spend together. The erotic, sensual embrace they would find themselves in—

Bloody book, I knew I shouldn’t have picked it. Leave to the sleaziest book I've ever come into contact with to have a fantastic, very prudent summary on the back cover.

“Why blushing so much, Evans?” Remus asked as he put the bottle ride side up. James sat still, still staring at the bottle, his eyes wide. Poor bloke, probably was still traumatized by the prospect of me…and him! I laughed inwardly, a smile breaking across my lips as I stared at his dazed and overwhelmed expression.

“And smiling too!” Sirius added. I didn’t hear this, but I did hear the next part, “As she looks at dear Jamesy. Must be love!”

Remus and Sirius barked with laughter, Jenny giggling a bit while swaying again. She still hadn’t stopped dancing, despite the hair matting itself against her forehead. I couldn’t help but admire her determination.

Suddenly her eyes seemed darker as she stared at me. It appeared that she was waiting for something so I asked, “what?”

“It’s a dare, Lily!” She cried, twirling her hips around like a hula dancer.


“So?” She mimicked, outraged. “So, it’s a dare! You just can’t…ignore it!”

“Why are you so upset?”

“Lily,” Remus momentarily blocked Jenny’s outraged form. “Jenny is a frequent dare-doer. She completes every dare, no matter how outrageous. For you to be refusing a simple heated snog session upsets her greatly.”

“What are you, her publicist?” I asked. I looked behind him and then rolled my eyes as Jenny continued to glare at me.

“Fine!” I gave in. I threw my book against the wall, stood up, and strolled over to James, who was looking up at me confusedly. I took hold of his shirt collar rather fiercely and dragged him into the loo, slamming the door.

“What are you doing?” He asked roughly as I pushed him against the wall. The loo was rather small and I found it rather suffocating with two people in there.

“Shh,” I detached myself from him and then crouched down, placing my eye to the crack under the ground. Sure enough, two sets of feet were just inches away, thankfully still inside shoes. I could see a bit of Jenny still dancing a few yards away and rolled my eyes.

“They’re listening,” I mouthed, using hand gestures as I stood up and turned to James. He nodded as if what I were saying was obvious. “What should we do?”

He wiggled his eyebrows and came closer, wrapping his arms around my waist. I resisted the urge to knee him in the groin as I flinched away from him. He raised an eyebrow, still holding up his arms. I shook my head vigorously, putting an ear to the door. I could hear Sirius’s loud breathing even through the thick wood.

James laughed and I turned back to him with a confused expression.

“You know over the course of these few days, I’ve started to really wonder whether you’re barking!” I whispered harshly. I turned back to the door and then back to James in a flash.
“I thought of a plan, but you have to really act.”

I grimaced; acting had never been my forte. But then again, I’ve been acting like I don’t want to strangle Remus and Sirius, so I suppose I’m pretty decent. “I’ll try.”

He nodded and then gently pushed me out of the way to listen at the door. He scowled and rolled his eyes, as he took a few steps and met the wall at the other end of the room. It really was quite crowded in there.

I pushed a few hairs away from my face and began to wonder what his plan was.

I put my ear to the door just in time to hear, “Funny, I’d thought that their first snog would have been all passionate and steamy, you know?”

“Sirius,” Remus admonished. I don’t know why he would scold him; he was just as close to the door and listening just as hard as his best mate.

“Maybe they aren’t doing anything—that would be just like Prongs to not,” Remus was cut off by Jenny’s loud whisper. Apparently for someone who seemed like a gossip queen, she didn’t have the secrecy and subtlety down yet.

“Well don’t try to encourage them, you’ll kill the mood.”

I was distracted by their listening, so distracted that I didn’t even notice that James was pacing, stroking his chin, and running a hand through his hair every few moments.

I looked up just in time to see him lunge for me, his eyes blank with little emotion until my back was slammed against the door, making me wince and giving off a resounding bang. James leaned forward and I moved my head to the side. Apparently, he expected this, because he didn’t react stunningly, but merely whispered in my ear, “go with it, okay?”

I nodded quickly, wondering if the bang from him slamming me against the door had scared the two eavesdroppers.

“Mmm,” He groaned. I felt my stomach drop into my abdomen as I felt the vibration extend from his chest to mine. The closeness of this boy was a bit daunting, especially since I had very little—okay no—experience. “Lily, you have no idea how long I’ve waited for this.”

I stared at him with very wide eyes, my mouth opening but my voice not acting. I couldn’t think of anything to say that would sound convincing enough. I didn’t want to implicate that I was attracted to him—because, you know, that’s completely untrue. Not even close to true, completely absurd—and I didn’t want to make it sound cheesy or say something too lusty.

“Help!” I mouthed. He grinned, shaking his head and rest it on my shoulder.

“Just moan my name,” he whispered quickly.

“Potter!” I attempted, but ended up making myself burst into silent bouts of raucous laughter. James started laughing without sound as well.

“They’re totally faking it!” I heard through the door.

“Let’s just go in there,” Sirius said, and I could feel the handle on the door begin to turn. With superhuman speed I pushed James away and then slammed him against the opposing wall.

I wrapped my arms around him and pushed his neck down just as I heard the doorknob turn fully. The door began to open and I pulled James’s head towards mine, bouncing at him, on my tip-toes.

Poor James merely stood there, unsure of what to do, his arms limp at his sides.

I stared into his eyes, our lips very close, but definitely not touching. As I rolled my eyes, I whispered, just loud enough for him to hear, “It’s okay.”

I pushed myself to him, our lips meeting rather rigidly. After the initial shock that I experienced—my first kiss, this is my first kiss, what should I do, is this okay, I wonder if my breath smells, which way should I turn my head, why are his lips moving and mine not, there we go, all right, this isn’t so bad—I began to respond.

James put his hand on my waist at first, rubbing small circles on my back. I forgot all about Sirius and Remus.

I let my hands tangle themselves into his hair and then I turned my head to deepen the kiss. James really liked that. He let out a groan similar to the one before as he moved agile and quick to trade places with me. Now I was the one being pressed against a wall. Potter put his hand on my cheek, the other going to my neck, pulling my closer.

I felt James move closer to me, hell I felt James everywhere. It didn’t matter where he literally was, he in everywhere. There was a tugging feeling in my stomach as I heard him let out another groan.

It all happened so fast. I heard a low shriek, the door slamming shut, and then James moved so that he was against the wall, but I was seemingly being supported by him. I moaned, rather loudly I admit to my embarrassment. This seemed to be all that James needed. We broke apart for a moment, maybe two. I caught my breath quickly, knowing through a hazy mind that I’d need air.

James leaned against me so that my only option was to get on my knees and then go horizontal on the floor. His put a leg on either side of me as he leaned down and began to snog me once more. There’s something extremely wrong about having a boy who you once loathed be on top of you. I felt degraded and yet complimented. He moved a bit, trying to rest some of his weight on me, but the only place that worked was my lower half, and there was a spark of friction that made that entirely too impossible.

Despite the increasingly need that was growing within me, I managed to lunge up and capture his lips, diverting his other movements. His put his hands flat on the floor on either side of my face and devoured my lips with an abandon that had been pent up for years. I could feel aggression and pure need flowing through his lips onto mine.

He resting some of his weight on me again, this time moving a bit forward, gently sliding his pelvis towards mine. I gasped when I felt the raw, primitive sensation that shot through me. My eyes rolled back into my head, and I opened my mouth.

“Is that…you?” I asked. The amateur in me was showing. I looked down at his hips and then back up at his eyes, my own pair had grown wider.

James grunted, putting his head down. My heart momentarily went out to him; he looked like he was blushing.

I moved my hand up, pushing some hair away from his face. His eyes were hidden behind his glasses, which lay a tad bit askew upon his nose. I straightened them and then smiled at his expression. His eyes were no longer glazed over with lust, but he did look pained.

“Merlin. I can’t do this.”

I rolled away from him, adjusting my clothes back to normal.

“This was a terrible idea. What was I thinking? And…and you! I just…presented my first kiss to you—James Potter—on a silver platter. I’m not some cheap bimbo. I should never have thought that…and you just—this never happened! We never got past a kiss. Okay?” I ranted, looking at him. I could feel that my hair was tangled and messed up. My lips felts rough and swollen and my head ached slightly.

James stared at me, still on the floor. He stood up and I resisted any impulses that came into my head. It was no use fantasizing about how far James and I would have gone. That’s ridiculous.

“Let’s go out, they probably think we’re shagging,” I said, taking a step towards the door and putting my hand on the handle.

“I—I need a minute…or two. Actually, I need a few. I’m taking a very,” he looked at me, his eyes roaming my body up and down until they rested once more on my indignant eyes. “Very cold shower.”

“Right, well,” I didn’t finish. I jumped out of that washroom so fast that one would think I apparated. Sirius and Remus were sitting on their beds, drinking firewhiskey. I looked at Jenny, who had quit dancing. She was fanning herself on her cot and looking at me with a very surprised, yet expectant gaze.

“This game is ridiculous!” I repeated. I grabbed my book and then shuffled out of the cabin, sitting down on the steps in front. I opened the book, but my mind didn’t register the words. All I could see was James—his eyes dark with lust, his hands on either side of my head, his hair looking absolutely out of control. I closed my eyes, leaning my head against a post and felt the impending summer creeping into the air.


I’d changed and gone to bed without a word, rather early, so that by the time that I’d awoken to find James staring at me yet again, I wasn’t as tired.

“Hey,” He whispered, a small pathetic grin trying too hard to stay on his face.

“Hi,” I responded. I felt stressed, very stiff, very awake. “Look, Potter, that…it never happened okay?”




“Thank you.”

“So…speaking of the event which did not take place exactly four hours and thirty-eight minutes ago, was that…that was really your first kiss?” He asked, his arm underneath his pillow. I groaned and rolled onto my back.

“I was saving it…”

“But you said before that—“

“I didn’t want anyone to know. I mean, c’mon, seventeen and not been kissed yet? That’s pathetic.” I mumbled.

“Why didn’t you just snog some random bloke? It’s not like you’re unattractive, Lily, no one is going to turn you down!” He spoke with laughter hidden in his voice but didn’t actually laugh.

“I happen to think that the act of sharing saliva and billions of bacteria through an embrace that, with the wrong person, could result in something as serious as an STI is a very important, personal gesture. I didn’t want some random slime ball to be the first one…” I told him, closing my eyes as I rolled back onto my side to face him.

“But you let me snog you,” he mumbled, more to himself than me.

I opened my eyes and was captivated by his shining hazel eyes that seemed to penetrate my shield. I couldn’t help but stupidly wonder if James could read my mind, if he could someone know everything I was doing.

“No I didn’t.” I said flatly. “That never happened.”

“Yeah, okay, Lily,” he said, but I thought I heard some kind of emotion, some kind of hurt. “If I’d have known—“

“You would have done what? Not tried to persuade me to let you be my first? Not come up with the acting? Not entered the toilet area at all? You wanted me James. Well, congratulations, you got me. Now you can stop pretending like you ever cared,” I resisted the urge to cry. I felt so cheap and stupid.

“Hey!” He said gently, his tone higher than normal. I heard the rumpling of sheets and then felt the pressure of his body on my cot. I rolled over, away from him, but he climbed right in.

James was infuriatingly warm and comforting. He put an arm around me and then scooted closer so that he was lying beside me, the covers over us both. He couldn’t help but want to lean into his touch, but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.

“You told me it was okay,” he whispered brokenly into my ear.

“I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“Well, that makes two of us. I kind of wasn’t being very gentlemanly back there,” he mumbled put his head down on my pillow. I heard him inhale and wondered why he would want to smell my pillow.

I suddenly rolled over and was met with a very close James Potter. His face was inches from my own. I looked into his eyes and whispered, “I didn’t mind.”

I saw something flash in his eyes, some kind of quickened form of lust that seemed to dissolve rather sadly. James looked at me and then laughed miserably, “But it never happened right?”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. His smell was intoxicating, it filled me in a way that words couldn’t. I wasn’t comforted by his understanding. I was comforted by his smell, and I realized why he had sniffed my pillow. I moved closer to him, huddling into the crook of his chest. James put his arm around me and sighed.

I let a tear roll down my cheek. “Right. It never happened.”

You know when you have one of those moments when you feel like life is totally boring, so you have to spice it up with an almost love scene?
-awkward silence-

*cough* yeah, me neither...

Well, I hope you enjoyed this certainly eventful chapter. I know I promised to take Lily and James's relationship slow, and I will. I don't intend for anything to be easy.

Please, please review!

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