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Author's Note: I like this chapter a lot - hopefully you will too!




I simply adore the dark hallways of Hogwarts. Nothing like a lovely midnight stroll with a bag of Bertie Bott’s Every-Flavored Beans or a pocketful of Chocolate Frogs. Except then maybe the Chocolate Frogs would melt. So I guess it would be better to go with the Every-Flavored Beans.

Sometimes I feel like I see these hallways more often at night than I do in the daytime. It’s perfectly logical, of course, considering the amount of time I spend out of the Common Room at night. Just sounds sorta shady, is all.

Anywho, the four of us somehow managed to stuff ourselves underneath the Invisibility Cloak, like deluxe-size sardines in an extra tiny can, and shuffled out of Gryffindor Tower, along the hallways to our destination.

“Ow, you stepped on my foot!”

“Shut up, Alex! The Prefects could be out!” Luke shushed him.

Eddie gave him a look. “No, tosser, I’m a Prefect, so if they were out, I wouldn’t be here.”

“Right.”

We did some more helpless shuffling. “Okay, mates, this is so not working.”

Suddenly, a high-pitched giggle from around the corner interrupted my complaining. “You are quite right, Potty!” I know that voice. I’d recognize the foulness of it anywhere. Peeves.

I tore out from under the Cloak and raced around the corner. “Alright, Peeves, don’t even mess.”

The sodding Poltergeist lay sprawled out across the corridor, grinning like the damn Cheshire Cat. “Why, Potty, so nice to have you back for another year.”

“Uh huh, right. Whadya want?” Peeves never – and I mean never – just stops to have a dandy conversation with his favorite pranksters. Oh no. There’s always something in it for him.

“I want to know what the four of you are doing out of your Common Room after curfew.”

“You know what we’re doing Peeves. It’s our annual opening day prank.” Luke was having none of this. He had left Alex and Eddie under the Cloak like the lazy slugs they were and come over to us.

“Well I want to be a part of it!” Peeves pouted. He looks even uglier than usual when he pouts.

“You know this is our thing,” Eddie growled from his crossed-arm stance behind Luke. Seemed like Alex was the only one under the Invisibility Cloak now. Poor bloke just can’t keep up.

“Fine then, maybe you’d prefer if the teachers got in on the joke.” The poltergeist raised his thin black eyebrows evilly, knowing he had us. He was unbearable when he got like this.

“No, no, Peeves, let’s not be hasty now. How about-” I flailed around wildly for something to promise him.

Alex, finally having disentangled himself from the folds of the Cloak, stumbled over to us. “We let you come to the first Gryffindor Party we throw!”

In unison, the three of us turned to face him with disgusted glares painted on our faces. “We will?” we spoke together.

“You will?” Peeves’s face was a mix of excited and utterly disbelieving. Let me tell you, it did not look flattering on the guy.

“No, no, we won’t!” I hastened to offer, shoving Alex face-first into a portrait of an old man playing the flute and the piano at the same time.

Luke, though, took my arm and pushed me behind him. “Yeah, Peeves. You leave us alone tonight, make this our little secret, and you can come to the first party we throw.”

The poltergeist looked as if he was about to wet himself. “P-p-par-party? Me? Word of honor?”

“You heard my mate.” I stepped forward and stuck out my hand reluctantly, giving Luke my best death glare.

“Yes!”

I’m pretty damn sure Peeves’s squeal could be heard clear around the castle so I decked him. “Remember the ‘our little secret’ part?”

“Yes.” His voice was slightly quieter.

“Well let me tell you, Mister, it ain’t gonna be much of a secret if you scream like that.”

“Sorry.” I could barely hear his voice it was so quiet. Amazing what the promise of a party will do to a poltergeist.

“Great, so we’re clear.” I paused and took a deep breath. “Now sod off!” I screeched. Gone. Ah, sweet relief. “Now, gentlemen, to our prank.”




There’s nothing in the wizarding world I hate more than the dungeons of Hogwarts. Not even Christmas parties at Uncle Percy’s house. Nope, even that horror is preferable to these hallways. They’re musty, dim, and, I’ll admit in private, even a bit scary. Just don't tell anyone I said that...

I can never see into the endless shadows that pervade the long corridors because the torches on either side of the hallway don’t seem to light it up at all. And to top all that cozy cheer off, it’s cold as London in a January blizzard. I hate it down here soooooooooo freakin’ much!!!!!

“Blimey it’s cold down here.” Leave it to Alex to complain. Tosser cares for nothing but his own comfort, I tell you. Really, some people lack the emotional stamina that oozes from my very pores.

“Shush. We can’t let anyone hear us."

As the hallways grew darker and colder, I knew we were getting closer to the Common Room. Alright, alright, hold the questions. I’ll take a moment to clarify.

Yes, the four of us were heading for the Slytherin Common Room. Yes, that was where we would each do our part to make the already wretched lives of the Slytherin students miserable. Yes, we knew where their Common Room was. How? I’ll give you three hints: my genius, a few choice hexes here and there, and a whole lot of Pumpkin Juice. No, not a pretty story.

“It should be at the end of this hallway,” I whispered. “Did you bring the knife?”

Eddie pulled a short blade from beneath his cloak. “Right here, Junior. Who’s going in first?”

But any response I might have had was promptly shoved back down my throat by a sickening sight. In the dim shadows of the hallway before me, I could clearly see two people having an enthusiastic tongue-wrestle. Now, normally, I’m all for a good snog. No really! I’m the last one to protest a spur-of-the-moment ‘visit’ behind a tapestry somewhere.

But right now I wasn’t feeling very snog-friendly. Oh no. Because these weren’t just any two students. It was my cousin. My cousin and Scorpius Malfoy. Sodding Scorpius Malfoy was sticking his bloody tongue in my little cousin’s mouth. In. Her. Bloody. Mouth.

Before I could even think about what I was doing, I began struggling to escape the confines of the Cloak. But Luke’s hand on my arm was painfully firm. “No way, mate. I know she’s your cousin but if you go out there, it’ll blow our cover.”

“I don’t care,” I whisper-yelled. “He’s got his sodding tongue in her mouth!”

“I know. If it was Cassie I’d be out there ripping his arms out but we’ve been planning this thing since first year practically. We can’t blow it now! Just go find him later and kill him then.” He had irritatingly good point.

“Fine, but sure as Al is a bookworm I’ll have his phalanges for a necklace when we’re done.”

Eddie gave me a consoling pat on the back. “’Course you will, mate.” Under his breath he muttered, “Whatever phalanges are. Now come on, door’s just up here around the corner.”

It was prank time. No way I’d let my cousin ruin this blissful moment. Finally this life-long dream of mine was coming true; we were getting into the Slytherin Common Room! Not thinking about Rose. Not thinking about sodding Malfoy. Not thinking about either of them. Not thinking. Not thinking. Definitely not thinking. No way, not me. Thinking about them? Ha. Haha. Yeah, right. Right.

“Junior, get back here!”

I shook myself from my thoughts of murder to find myself out in the open and alone. “What? Where are you?”

“Behind the tapestry. Remember the plan?” Eddie reached out an arm from behind a musty old tapestry next to the Common Room door and pulled me behind it. “Keep up, mate.” He turned his attention away from me to Alex, who was looking even more excited than he had earlier on the train. “Okay, Alex. We’ll stay hiding behind here while you go in first with the Cloak. Hold out your hand.”

Squeezing his eyes shut tight, Alex extended a hand and Eddie slit his fingertip with the little knife. “There, wipe that on the door and it should let you in.”

“How did you figure it out?” I asked Eddie. We may have found the Slytherin Common Room but we had never known how to get in. Leave it to sneaky Eddie to figure it out.

“I have my ways,” he replied mysteriously. “Now go, and don’t forget what to do.”

“I won’t!” came Alex’s disdainful voice from beneath the Cloak. The old black door suddenly creaked open and shut behind him with a soft bang.

“Way to go!” Luke gave Eddie a congratulatory high-five when we saw that the blood had worked. “Leave it to the Slytherins to have an entry key like that.”

As the seconds ticked by, I thought of chocolate frogs and treacle tart, firewhiskey and tasty steak & kidney pie. Anything to get that nasty picture out of my head. When I ran out of foods to think of, I moved on to imagining all the creative yet painful ways I could make Malfoy die.

I was so enthralled by my daydream – or should I say, nightdream – that I didn’t even notice Alex slip back behind the tapestry and Eddie leave under the Cloak.

“What’s he doing again?” I asked Luke.

“Jamesie, this is your brilliant plan. You were the one obsessing over it in the dorm an hour ago. How did you forget what he’s doing?”

I muttered something random that probably made even less sense than our bloody Astronomy star charts.

“He’s hexing their broom closet shut so the team can’t get their brooms.” Luke laid a hand on my shoulder. “You’re really hung up about Rose, aren’t you?”

“You think?”

“Sorry, love to have a heart-to-heart now, mate, but I’m going in.” And then he was gone, leaving me with Alex on one side and Eddie on the other. Ah, so much for getting it all out.

Within a minute, Luke was back from his staircase hexing and it was my turn. “Damn, it’s freezing in there. Like a meat locker, I tell you,” he muttered.

“At least you’re alive!” Alex always did have the annoying habit of being optimistic.

“Finger, mate,” Eddie commanded.

Confused, I made a the requested rude gesture at him.

“No, you berk. I meant so I can cut it!”

“Oops.” I held out my hand and felt a sharp prick as Eddie sliced my finger open just the tiniest bit. As I pulled the Cloak on, an unmistakable feeling of excitement fluttered through me. Nothing in the world gave me a rush like pranking. I love it. And, all of a sudden, I wasn’t thinking about my traitorous cousin. I wasn’t thinking about sodding Malfoy’s sodding tongue. I wasn’t thinking about anything but living for the moment, this moment.

The Invisibility Cloak was light and cool on my shoulders and I almost felt like I was flying. I tugged the small, brown paper bag from beneath my cloak as I swiped my bloody finger on the doorpost.

I was going in.

The Slytherin Common Room was even colder than the hallway outside and if it weren’t for my customary pranking high, I might have chickened out. What am I saying? The great James Potter never chickens out!

I stepped through the dark, grimy antechamber and into the main room. It was insanely different from the Gryffindor Common Room. Instead of cheerful, loud people hanging on the walls in their frames, all the portraits were somber, morbid beings with dull faces and closed mouths. Boring, boring, boring. But then again, what else would one expect from Slytherin?

Now, where would the prime spot for these babies be? I wondered, stroking the crinkly paper of the bag beneath my arm. This was gonna be so good.

Walking to the middle of a circle of couches in the center of the room, I set down the clump of fireworks. I put them in the middle of the room, of course, for the viewing pleasure of the lovely Slytherins around me. Making sure to hide the fireworks beneath the hem of the Cloak, I withdrew my wand from my cloak, savoring the dangerous sensation deep in the pit of my stomach. I felt like a little girl with a new dress. Not that I know what that feels like or anything…

“Incendio,” I whispered, careful not to let the people around me hear. I jumped back fast, not interested in perishing on my first night back. One at a time, the fireworks sounded off, each working on its own for a moment before the next lit up.

“Wingardium leviosa!” I exclaimed under my breath, levitating one firework to collide with another mid-air. This resulted in an even larger bang that I’m sure scared the shit right out of a first year girl on the couch nearest me. Whatever, she deserved it for being in Slytherin.

As the sparks grew and multiplied, I retreated to the door to admire my handiwork. Pandemonium was breaking out among the students, creating quite an entertaining scene. Ah, the beauty of Uncle George’s Wildfire Whiz-Bangs. But I knew I had to get out before someone ran to get teachers, which would undoubtedly happen in just a moment or two.

Grinning uncontrollably, I turned and slipped out through the antechamber, delighting in the fading out of frenzied yells from behind me. “Mission accomplished,” I whispered, squeezing back on the farthest side of the tapestry.

“We should get out of here,” Eddie suggested, after participating in the round of hearty high-fives.

“We’ve got to wait at least a minute or two,” I insisted. “Someone’ll be running to get teachers soon and we can’t miss out on that fun.”

“Fine, just a minute or two. But we have to be careful not to get caught.”

“Eddie, since when did you become such a sodding spoil-sport?” Luke asked, elbowing him.

“I’m a Prefect, I can’t get caught!”

“Oh, come on. You know you love the thrill.” I winked at Eddie. “Don’t deny it.”

He gave a shrug, as if to say it was pointless to argue, which of course, it was, because my debate skills are flawless. “I can’t say I would mind terribly if someone found us, I suppose. It might be nice to get in a little trouble, like the old times.”

“A little trouble? Yeah, right! A mess like this would land us in detention forever!” Alex piped up, looking more excited than disturbed at the prospect.

“Don’t wet your pants now, Alex, but I’m sure we’ll get in quite a heap of trouble before our last days here are up,” I assured him.

“Shh, someone’s coming!”

As Eddie spoke, the Common Room door creaked open to admit one of the Slytherin Prefects, an unfortunate soul by the name of Edwina Bleazle. Poor, poor girl. As she scurried down the hallway past us I could tell from the look on her face that this whole prank of ours was turning her pathetic little world upside down.

"She looks awfully frightened," Alex whispered.

All of a sudden, Edwina stopped and turned around. She had heard Alex! Eddie gave Alex a sharp elbow in the side to shut him up. I held my breath tight inside my chest as the Slytherin Prefect surveyed the hallway, certain she had heard something.

She stepped out of the dim shadows into the torchlight from the wall, coming so close to the tapestry I could have sworn she would hear me breathing. Through the worn-out moth holes, I could see her beady eyes dart around the hallway, scouring it for clues. After a moment, she seemed to be satisfied and continued away up the hallway.

"Way to go, Alex," Luke whispered, as her shuffling form disappeared around the corner. "She almost found us."

"Sorry."

Moments later, I could hear the harried whispers of teachers drift up the hallway as Bleazle led a parade back towards the Common Room. “This oughta be good,” I whispered, leaning over to Eddie.

Suddenly, as the voices came closer, something – or rather, someone – pushed me back into the wall and slipped behind the tapestry with us.

“What the hell?” I blurted before Eddie gave me a sharp poke between the ribs.

“Shut it, mate. They’re coming!”

I wiggled around a bit, trying to get a better view of the assailants. It was Malfoy and my traitor of a cousin, ducking behind our tapestry to save their miserable hides. “You, Mr. Malfoy, are a dead man,” I muttered, remembering Eddie’s warning and hearing the teacher’s proceed down the hallway towards us.

“You four are the ones who pulled the prank, aren’t you?” At least the bloody tosser had enough good sense to keep his voice down.

“Nope, just out tapestry sniffing, Malfoy,” Eddie informed him.

Malfoy gave a charming eye roll. “I know you did it and I’m going out there right now to tell them.” He made a move to step out and approach the teachers but Luke reached out a hand and set it firmly on Malfoy’s forearm.

“Uh-uh. I don’t think so, mate.”

“Mate?” Alex protested. He hates Malfoy as much as I do. Well, almost as much. I hate the him way more now that I witnessed that unpleasant display before.

The two of them ignored Alex though and faced each other. “Look, I know you would probably be overjoyed to turn us in, as you are a Slytherin, but face it. You go out there, they know you and Weasley were exchanging spit in the hallways. After curfew.”

Ah, Luke, how I love you and your logic. He had Malfoy, and he knew it. Luke had that lovely smug look on his face and I was proud of him for it. Rose, however, looked slightly sick, like the Great Squid when he eats too many wayward pelicans. Served her right.

Shifting from foot to foot, Malfoy finally relaxed against the wall. “Fine. We keep quiet, you keep quiet.”

“Deal.”

“But don’t think that gets you off my hook, Malfoy,” I exclaimed, spitting his name out with disdain. “Oh no, I’ll reel you in like my uncle Charlie lures in his precious Romanian dragons.”

I had expected him to gulp visibly but he simply shrugged. “Whatever, Potter.”

“Whatever?” I began, but Eddie’s hand on my arm stopped me.

“Save it, they’re coming past us.” The six of us kept very quiet as the group of teachers entered the Common Room on our right.

“This part’ll be good,” I whispered when they had gone. “Foolish teachers always try to stop the things, but my Uncle George is way smarter than that.” I sighed. “Three, two, one.” As I finished counting, shrieks and bangs erupted from inside the Slytherin Common Room.

The teachers were undoubtedly attempting to use some spell to stop the Whiz-Bangs. No way, not on my watch, or my Uncle George's, for that matter. “Well, the good part of the show is over, so we can head back.”

Eddie gave me a pat on the back. “That really was awesome! I just wish we could see Minnie’s face while she tries to deal with the Fiz-Bang Whatsits.”

“Wildfire Whiz-Bangs,” I corrected. “But I knew what you meant.” It's funny, 'cause I woulda thought Minnie had learned how to handle this brand back when my uncles were at school. Apparently not...

“So are we heading back?” Luke asked.

“As much as I’d love to stay and hear the rest of the panicking, now’s our best chance to get out.” I turned slightly and surveyed Rose with disdain. “I suppose she’ll have to come back with us.”

“Come on, don’t be hard on her.” Luke stepped out from behind the tapestry and ushered Rose under the Cloak.

“Don’t side with her!” I exclaimed, my voice raising a few pitches too high to be manly.

“Look, not now, mate. If you want to make a scene, make it back at the Common Room.”

Knowing he was right, as usual, I pouted. “Fine. And you, expect a visit.” I eyed Malfoy menacingly as I stepped underneath the Cloak with Eddie and Alex. Then we were off, shuffling back through the dungeon passages and up all the staircases to the Common Room.

More than anything, I wanted to jump out and holler my head off at Rose, but Luke’s warning rang fiercely in my head and I somehow managed to restrain myself. Almost at the Common Room, Jamesie, I encouraged myself. You can wait another minute.

The moment we were inside and had pulled off the Cloak, I was on my cousin. “What was that lovely little display there, Rosie? Huh, what was it?” I demanded.

Most people would expect her to bow her head ashamedly and admit her fault, but no, I knew my cousin way too well to believe that. She was gonna fight me on this one, if she cared about sodding Malfoy at all. “Who do you think you are, my dad?” she screamed.

“Actually, he told me to keep an eye on you, so yeah, maybe I do!” Oh, shit, Uncle Ron told me not to say anything. Ah, well, too late now…

“Whoa, whoa, what’s going on over here?” Al strolled towards us from his seat by the fire where he and his best friend, Seth Tompkins, had been playing wizard’s chess.

“Oh, look, the pacifist is on his way to cool everything down!” I shouted.

“James, calm down and tell me what happened.” My brother knows me way too well. Sometimes I wish he didn’t know how to handle my temper, but Merlin he does!

“That – that, witch you call your cousin! She was sharing her saliva with none other than-” I took a deep breath, but I never got to deliver my dramatic ending.

“Malfoy?” he asked me, raising a dark eyebrow.

“You know about this?” I was incredulous. “And you didn’t tell me?”

“Well, she hadn’t told me, if that’s what you mean.” He gave Rose his version of the classic puppy-dog pout. “But I had pretty much guessed. They don’t call me the smart kid for nothing, James.”

By now, everyone in the Common Room had gathered around us to watch the spectacle. It wasn't every day they got to watch a genuine family fight among us celebrities, after all.

“How did you find out?” Rose was on him in a second, obviously annoyed at her best friend, aka my brother.

“You stay out of this!” I barked at her.

“Hey, hey, calm down, you two.” Luke shoved through the ring of people around us and gave my back a pat. “Don’t let this ruin our glorious night! I’ve got a surprise upstairs.” He winked and I almost forgot about the crisis as I thought about the celebration ahead.

“Just let me deal with this twerp here and I’ll be right up.”

“Don’t be too hard on her,” Eddie cautioned, turning towards the stairs with Alex.

“You’re all bailing on me?” Rose screeched. She knew she could win my mates over to her side on this one. They’re very susceptible to the lies of my opponents.

“Sorry, Rosie. You’re just gonna have to hope Al sides with you tonight. We got a party to get started.” Luke flashed her a sympathetic smile. “Good luck with this tosser here.”

She groaned and folded her arms across her chest, tossing her red hair out of her eyes. “Al?”

“I’m not taking a side. You’re both being ridiculous.”

“Ridiculous? How is it ridiculous that I don’t want her going out with Malfoy?” I gave my little brother my best beseeching look. “Malfoy!” I repeated, emphasizing the name.

“His last name shouldn’t matter, James! Maybe he isn’t like his family. You have to trust Rose to decide if he’s the best guy for her.”

My mouth fell open in shock but I had no time to respond as he turned to Rose. “And you, Missy, need to understand that James – and I, for that matter – only want the best for you. We’re not doing it to be mean, we just feel like we need to protect you.”

“Well you don’t!” She stomped her foot, looking an awful lot like Lily did when she was little and didn’t get her way. “I’m a big girl, as much as you both hate to acknowledge it. I’m pretty good at taking care of myself actually!”

“Yeah, you’re also pretty good at keeping secrets from your friends.” Al’s tone played at joking but I could tell he was hurt underneath.

“Al, I didn’t tell you because I knew the two of you would react like this!” she protested.

“The two of us? Did I get mad at you, Rose? No, I told James he was overreacting. But maybe I was wrong. Maybe we can’t trust you.”

Oh no. When Al gets mad, it’s a bad, bad sign. See, he’s usually pretty even-keeled. Always getting everyone to make up, always smoothing things over. So when you make him angry, you know you messed up. Big time.

Rose’s blue eyes widened. “I didn’t realize – I mean-”

“Save it. You’re on your own.” My little brother’s green eyes flashed and he stalked off, turning his back on his friend, leaving her to my mercy. Mwhaha, just how I like it.

“Alright, Rosie, what do you have to say for yourself?” I, for one, wasn’t gonna do anything to get Al on my bad side so I figured I’d have to tread carefully. Besides, my whole fan club was watching so I'd have to make it good. But, damn, I really wanted to just get upstairs and celebrate!

“I never meant any harm. I mean, we just talked one day and everything sorta clicked.”

“I didn’t ask to hear the details of your love life.” I wrinkled my nose.

Her eyes flashed. “Don’t tease me, James. I’m serious this time. I really like Scorpius and I’m not going to let a big Neanderthal like you ruin everything!”

“Neanderthal?” I shrieked. “You just crossed the line!” The invisible line, mind you.

She rolled her eyes, as if she was way too cool for me. But, of course, I’m actually way too cool for her. “Whatever, James. Just leave Scorpius alone.”

I gritted my teeth. “His name, is Malfoy. And I very well won’t leave him alone. If I have my way, your boyfriend will be nothing more than a pile of broken bones by tomorrow at sunset.”

“Not if I have anything to do with it.”

Merlin, that girl’s turning out just as stubborn as I am. Not wanting to further ruin my blissful evening, I turned elegantly on my heel and stalked off to my dorm, leaving my cousin staring despairingly after me. Or, what I’d like to think was despairingly, at least.




“What is that smell?” I inquired the moment I stepped inside our room.

Luke raised his eyebrows mysteriously. “The great James Potter can’t figure out what it is himself?”

I sniffed the air. “No way! You didn’t!” I tossed the Invisibility Cloak on my bed and settled into the circle on the ground between Luke and Alex.

“I did,” came his dignified response. Luke ran a hand through his sandy hair. “I figured a major prank like this deserved a major celebration, right?”

“But, mate, firewhiskey?” I protested.

“I thought you’d be the first one to thank me, Jamesie.”

“Well, yeah, but- I don’t know. This seems a little extreme.”

“You won’t say that once you taste it! Here, have some.” He shoved a little glass of the stuff into my hand and for a moment, I considered not drinking it. But no, the famous – and infamous – James Potter never chickens out. Never. And so, telling myself fiercely it would be fine, I took a generous swig.

The firewhiskey burned like hell on the way down and left my mouth buzzing with a sensation that made me believe Cornish Pixies were flying around inside. “Bloody hell,” I whispered, my voice hoarse. “That’s quite something.”

“Don’t tell me you’ve never had firewhiskey before!”

I gave Luke my best disdainful look. “Of course I have! The stuff’s literally flying at my family’s holiday parties. Well, when the party isn’t at Uncle Percy’s, at least. I’ve drunk it before, just not so much at once.”

Luke shrugged and began pouring more into glasses for the rest of them. When he had finished, we all took up our cups and held them out, touching everyone else’s in the center of our circle.

“To us, pranksters of Hogwarts, masters of mischief,” Eddie intoned, deep voice solemn.

“To us!”

“To us!”

I glanced around at the three pairs of eyes sitting around in our circle. Alex’s gray. Luke’s blue. Eddie’s brown. “To us!”




Author's Note: Thanks for reading! I've been getting a pretty enthusiastic response which makes me very happy... as before, favorite quotes please? They made me smile =]

Next time on Just James: remember that detention James got? Well, the time has come to serve it. As well as the thrill of Quidditch tryouts. See how much there is to look forward to? So don't forget to check back soon =]

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