The next couple of weeks morphed into a blur. I found out later that Marissa had told Black to back off for a bit, while James and I sorted ourselves out, which was why he was in such a horrible mood after the game. Turns out I was right about the alcohol talking for him – drink does do horrible things to people, I should know.
Speaking of which, I still hadn’t told anyone about James and I. While Marissa and Ella, so far, had done nothing to suggest they’d ever be angry about it, I felt like if I admitted it, they would suddenly realize how much effort and self-control they were wasting on me; like by sleeping with James, I had broken some unwritten rule between us.
Marissa had gone into a self-imposed silence for days after the incident, only talking to Ella and myself when she needed to. I suppose she was guilty for Black’s actions and, as much as I told her not to be, she wouldn’t let up. However, after a week, she’d decided sticking by my side (in the literal sense of the word) would be the only way to make it up to me.
That was two months ago. So yeah. Kind of getting on my nerves a bit.
Ella, on the other hand, had distanced herself, moving closer to the Marauders camp. I noticed this as soon as she left for her first transformation at Hogwarts – she’d come back scratched and bruised, and any attempts by Marissa and myself to get what happened out of her, she just shut down.
That had been the weekend after the incident. Two more of her transformations had come and gone, and she still wouldn’t tell either of us what went on during the full moon. While the immature side of me would like to think it’s because she’s embarrassed by the hot wolf sex her and Remus are having (which they weren’t…I’d asked), the other – larger – part of me, was genuinely annoyed.
So the secrets stayed and, even though I thought it was for the best, I could feel the rift between the three of us grow wider and wider, and suddenly I felt like I was alone.
Consequently, I threw myself into my studies – in return, my Head Girl title was recalled and I was back in business, per say. By doing this, I had an excuse to avoid Marissa and Ella and ignore James.
While I couldn’t begin to even comprehend how much James had hurt me, I had to acknowledge that in some twisted way he was right. I’d been selfish; stringing him along and expecting him to go along with it and giving nothing in return? It was no wonder he’d gotten fed up with the whole deal and acted the way he did.
But – and I know it’s going to sound childish - he didn’t have to be so cruel.
I mean, he tells me he loves me; apologizes not twenty-four hours later; asks to be friends; and then, hooks up with my roommate not five hours later!
Ah, yes, and then there was Jane. She was someone I was supposed to hate but just couldn’t bring myself to. After James left me alone in the corridor, she accompanied Marissa and Ella in helping to drag me up from the floor, into the common room and up to the girl’s dormitory. When I asked her why, she shrugged and said she knew how it felt to have her heart broken. She also promised to have a word with James about how to treat a lady. This stunned me; and then I knew, I wasn’t The One for James. If anyone was deserving of that title nowadays it was Jane. She was so sure of herself and her blossoming relationship with James, she’d offered me, the Other Woman, a hand in taking him down a notch.
They were serious, I realized. James and Jane weren’t just James and Jane anymore; they were James and Jane. Do you get it?
No. I don’t suppose you do.
In short, I was fucked. So incredibly fucked.
By the time James and I spoke again, it had been two months since the incident. I had requested from Slughorn the day after I’d broken down if I could change partners because of personal reasons, he’d readily agreed. I guess he remembered the Amortentia potion. So now I was to be paired with Charles Ignatus and James was with Livia Sprout.
However, one fateful Friday afternoon, I was minding my own business in the library when James appeared out of nowhere and sat down at my table. Not a big deal, you say?
Well, after eight weeks of mutual silence, having the boy you’re still in love with (because you are a complete and utter masochist) come up randomly and says “Hello”…well, it sort of rings alarm bells, does it not?
So yeah. It’s a big fucking deal, for me at least.
“Er, hi,” I said, feeling quite alarmed. What was he doing? “Um, is there something you need?”
James looked supremely uncomfortable and was shifting in his seat, fidgeting. “Er, no, I just wanted to talk to you about the Hogsmeade weekend.”
My heart stopped. To say I had forgotten, well, it would be a complete lie; it was my last chance, my only hope at getting him to see what was standing right in front of him. “Oh…um, what about it?”
He couldn’t meet my eyes. Oh, this was going to be bad. “Well, I-I thought, well now that we’re, you know…not doing…whatever we were doing, that I would, er…” his voice trailed off.
So I finished it for him. “Cancel the date?” I asked slowly, trying not to hyperventilate.
Oh God, what was it with this boy and ripping my heart out for kicks? He’s caused me more pain in the last six months than anyone in my entire life!
“Yeah,” he said, obviously embarrassed. “I mean, if you want –”
I cut across him swiftly. “I think you know exactly what I want,” I said icily, “but you don’t seem to care. But whatever, go with Jane. I don’t care.”
James sighed, looking regretful. “Look, Lily – ”
I glared at him, willing him to look me in the eye. “Just go.” Before I’m tempted to say something we both don’t want to hear.
James looked torn, guilt and reluctance playing out across his features. However, my unspoken words seemed to have reached him and he slowly walked away without saying anything.
But just as he had turned the corner, and I had let myself relax again, he appeared again suddenly. I narrowed my eyes sharply. He reddened.
“Uh –” his blushed deepened “—I think I left my, er, boxers in your dorm. Could you take a look for me?”
Oh God. Please, shoot me. I’m pretty sure my mouth was somewhere near the floor.
I scrambled together some words. “…Right, sure.”
Honestly. What did I even bother getting up in the mornings?
And that’s how I found myself diving about my dormitory, searching for James Potter’s underwear.
I was, needless to say, incredibly relieved that neither Marissa nor Ella – or worse, Jane – had found the aforementioned boxers.
Then a thought stuck me, like a bludger to the chest – what if Jane had found them!? What if she was confronting James right this second – God knew she would know what his underwear looked like –
If I heard one more person say “Uh, Lily?” in that confused tone, I was going to explode.
I locked up from where I was crouching to look under my bed, trying to keep the guilt off my face. “Marissa – hi!” I said brightly, trying to distract her from my somewhat compromising position.
Marissa frowned, not buying it. Bloody suspicious cow. “What are you doing?” she asked, suspicious.
Suddenly angry, Marissa let out a frustrated growl and stomped her foot. Really, how old was she? “Evans, get up and tell me what on earth is the matter with you! I’m sick of you acting like a loon; mood swings, fawning over James, sneaking around under beds – that’s enough!”
“Marissa?” Ella’s voice called, as the dormitory door creaked open. She slowing came into view, expression confused. “Who are you yelling - Lily?” she asked incredulously. “What are you doing on the floor?”
Really, for all they know, I dropped something. Was I really such a suspicious person to deserve an intervention?!
“Bloody hell, Lily, cut the crap!”
Jesus, what did I do? My voice was nervous when I spoke next. “Erm, I really need to do this –”
“Lily, if you don’t get up right now I’m going to have to hex you.”
Et tu, Ella?
Aren’t they sweet? ...No. “Really guys, I’m not in the mood –”
“You haven’t been in any sort of mood for weeks!” Ella exclaimed, concern marring her gentle tone. “We want to help you, Lily. We want you to trust us again.”
I attempted a smile, failing miserably. “I’m fine –”
“Lily, just tell us!”
“But I – ”
Her anger spark mine and suddenly I felt the floodgates I’d built come crashing down. Tears welled up quickly in my eyes, but I hastily wiped them away.
“Fine! You want to know? I slept with James!”
Oh God, it was worse than I could have imagined –
“I found out the Marauders are Animagus.”
My eyes flicked to Ella, who looked like she wanted to kick herself. “Wait, what –?”
“I’ve been sneaking around with Black for a month,” Marissa blurted
I stared at my two friends, shock thrumming through me. I really couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I cleared my throat nervously. “Right,” I said, my voice squeaking.
Then a miracle happened – Ella Parks began to giggle. Suddenly, the laughter was contagious and I felt a giggle of my own bubble in my chest. Marissa started to snigger, and suddenly we were rolling around the dormitory, loud laughter echoing off the walls.
“Sirius Black turns into a dog,” Ella chuckled, “and James Potter is a stag.”
Marissa let out a joyous snort. “I was snogging Sirius before I came up here!”
“I slept with James,” I guffawed, “and now his underwear is lost in this dorm!”
Ella and Marissa sobered almost instant. You know, that awkward moment, where you’re the only one still laughing? Yeah, I hate those, too.
“Ew!” Ella exclaimed, with a delicate wrinkle of her nose. “That’s disgusting, Lily!”
Thanks Ella. Really appreciated.
Marissa blanched, looking oddly sick. “Silk ones? Blue?”
I struggled to remember the foggy night in my memory. “I think so – wait,” I said, her words clicking in my head. I narrowed my eyes. “
Marissa retched, sickly green. “Oh God,” she moaned, “I touched Potter’s underwear! Ew, ew, ew!”
I gapped at her and Ella gasped. “What!?”
“I assumed Sirius left them!” she stuttered, face turning from green to beet red in a matter of seconds. It was like watching a Christmas decoration. “I didn’t know! I put them in my drawer! Oh God, that’s disgusting!”
“I thought Sirius left them,” I repeated dumbly. I shook my head softly, struggling to comprehend. “I’m sorry, what?”
Marissa, if possible, turned a shade darker. “Er…yeah.”
Seriously. What the fuck. Since when was our dormitory a brothel?
I sighed, feeling content. This was my life.
“So, what you’re saying is that you’re in love with James now and he doesn’t want you anymore?”
I nodded glumly. The high I was feeling after out little secret spill had worn off now that I was coerced into reciting my twisted tale.
Ella slumped back, grim determination on her face. “Well, there’s only one solution isn’t there?” she said, as if it was obvious.
Which it wasn’t – trust me, I know; I’d been thinking about this for two months.
However, when I voiced this, Marissa looked at my like I was stupid. “Well, you have his underwear now, don’t you?”
Wow. Apparently I was stupid.
These two were brilliant.
A/N: Sorry for the wait guys, but the school work is now over (with more to come, but for now I'm free XD). I hope you liked the longer (if somewhat slow) chapter...next up is the Hogsmeade date! I need your opinions though - do you want to see the dates through Ella and Marissa's POVs as well? Or should I just get to Lily and do an epilogue?
Thanks for reading! Please leave you thoughts (and, if possible, answer to the question) in a review :)
Track This Story: Feed
Write a Review
JOIN HARRY POTTER FANFICTION
Get access to every new feature the moment it comes out.Register Today!