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This is the 3rd chapter in the Tudor Diaries Series-
I own nothing, JK rules, and so does history!

Mistress, Queen, Squib, Jane Seymour

I had been the replacement, the mistress, and now, out of pure luck I was Queen of England. Choices define your life, and to my luck my father had made great choices. I was Queen, Queen of England.  Jane Tudor, Queen of England. It sounded nice, but scary.

I rubbed my hand across the bottom of my bulging stomach. “Any day now,” I whispered to the child inside of me, Henry’s child, the future King of England.

This child would secure a place at the King's side for many years to come, I would no longer have to worry about mistresses, or busy-bodies who think they make themselves useful. I would be the only Tudor queen able to produce a male heir for the King of England.

This child is my past, my present and my future.

That was how it worked out for me, my future would revolve around this child, if I gave birth to a girl I would likely be killed, and if I were to give birth to a son, I would be the King’s absolute favourite.

Yeah, my life depended on this child, but I had a weird feeling, a feeling like something would go wrong. That’s why I was here, at the church, praying.

I was so incredibly scared that at times I felt like I was suffocating in this world.

My father, a well known wizard had given birth to a squib nineteen years ago, that squib was me. I had let my family down, I wasn’t thought of as the others, I was treated differently, and I wasn’t loved as much. I had been a disappointment.

Until King Henry paid a visit to our home. I had been watching him dine with my father and a few other nobles when he spotted me out of the corner of his eye. I had been hiding around the corner, but my long blonde hair had been something to easily spot out.

Two days later I was called to the King’s court and asked to be a lady in waiting for the Queen Anne. My father told me what to say, and do before we left, and I knew that I would make him proud.

That's how it all started, I didn’t know that at the time I had been brought to the King’s court as a mistress, nor did I care. I was living a great life.

A few weeks went by, and Henry chased after me, secret notes here, discreet kisses every now and then, nothing more, I wouldn’t lose my innocence before marriage. But one afternoon I had decided that we could go a little further, just a little more than kissing.

Her majesty was with child and due in four weeks when she burst in on us. The only time I decided that he could fondle me was the time her majesty decided to burst in on us. I was mortified, but Henry was calm, surprisingly calm.

I left the room as they started to argue, I knew who would win that argument, the King never lost.

And so, a day later, as I was preparing her majesty for her bath I heard screams coming from her chamber. I ran into her chamber to see blood all over her bed, she had had a miscarriage.

I ran for help, but in the back of my mind I knew that it was over for her, this would be the third time she had not provided a son for the king.

I was right, a week later she was taken to the Tower of London, and the day after that she was beheaded for adultery. Nobody disappoints or angers the King. I learned that quickly, that’s why the day after his wife’s beheading I gave him my innocence.

I gave in, I had no choice. In the world I live in, sometimes a simple choice can save your life, or quickly end it.  The late Queen had kept many secrets from the King, she did horrible acts, she tampered with royal affairs and flirted with the Dukes in court.

No one did that unless they wanted to die. She was a very powerful woman, she had magic capabilities, I didn’t, and yet the King still chose me, yes, he did not know about our world, but it just goes to show, don’t underestimate anyone.

When my family found out what my role in the court actually was they were floored completely surprised, and for the first time in my life our roles were reversed. My father was at my feet, my mother acted like I was the family protégée, when really I wasn’t. I had just lucked out.

Not long after the Queen Anne’s death Henry made our relationship public, and unlike Anne, no one seemed to despise me as much as they hated her. I attended royal dinners, public events and other things that Henry insisted we attend.

For weeks I had begged Henry to see his daughter, Mary, and after a month of persuasion she let her come to the Castle as a lady in waiting. I wanted to mend his relationships with both his daughters, not just Mary, so after Mary moved into the castle I arranged for Elizabeth to come for the Christmas holidays as a surprise present for Henry.

That Christmas was when I conceived. For eight months now I have been careful of my every move, for fear of the baby. If anything were to happen to him...I could not bear the burden of knowing it was my fault. I ate what the doctor’s told me to, I only went to events when it was absolutely necessary and Henry took a mistress as not to disturb the baby.

When I first learned of Henry’s mistress I was devastated, but after awhile I realized that it was for the better, after I gave birth to the future King of England Henry would come back. That was how I reassured myself; I tried not to think of the fact that I had been Henry’s mistress before becoming queen because that made my stomach curl.

I suddenly felt a stab in my gut, a muscle spasm, a contraction.

“Mary!” I screamed as I tried to make my way over to my bed. “The baby Mary! The baby!” I yelled as she ran into the room. She immediately turned around and I could hear her footsteps running down the corridor to the Nurse’s and doctor’s who were staying at the castle during my pregnancy.

Breathe, I told myself over and over again. I was panicking, I was only at eight months, and I still had five more weeks to go before I was due.

“Your highness!” I heard a voice exclaim as several others rushed into the room followed by Mary. I let them examine me. “It’s too late to stop it, Your highness you will have to give birth now otherwise the baby will not survive.

“Not survive!” I screamed as another contraction came. “Ahh!”

“Nurses get all of the supplies ready.” The same doctor announced.

“Oh dear god, please help me.” I quickly prayed before focusing on saving my son’s life.


I had been in labour for over twenty-three hours. The doctor’s were readying the equipment necessary for a c-section, and I prayed to god it would not come to that. I wouldn’t survive if it did.

I was exhausted, and two hours ago the doctor’s had went to the king to decide which life to save first, mine, or the baby’s. I had not been told, but by their efforts readying the c-section I was ready to assume that the king had chosen the baby’s life over mine.

I was ready to give up, I was ready to just let them cut me open, and with the last push I could manage I heard crying. I sighed in relief and fell back against the pillow to catch my breath.

“It’s a boy!” Mary exclaimed into my ear. I just smiled back at her; I was too tired to even form a response.

The nurses administered some sedatives so I would sleep, and they told me to rest, so I did. I thought everything would be fine.


“Childbed fever?” I heard Henry violently whisper to someone. I was too tired to open my eyes.

“Yes you highness, I am sorry. She is worsening every day, and I don’t expect her to survive this.” The doctor told Henry.

Their words didn’t fully register yet. I felt Henry grab my hand and squeeze it. “Yes, I know what it is, my mother died from it giving birth to me.” There was a pause that lingered in the air. “can you please leave us alone.”

“Of course, your highness.”

“Jane, oh please Jane, don’t leave me here, your son needs his mother.” I heard a quiet sob, “Please god, don’t take her from me, this country needs its Queen, her son needs her. Spare her and keep her here with me.”

I painfully swallowed and opened my eyes just enough to see Henry with tear streaks on his face.


I squeezed his hand and smiled up at him, “do no fret,” I hoarsely whispered, “I...I love you.”

He choked back a sob and nodded, “I love you so much Jane.”

I nodded and closed my eyes once again knowing that I wouldn’t open them again. Sometimes things don’t work out, but I left a legacy. I was not known as a pureblood squid, but Queen Jane of England, mother to the future king of England and wife to King Henry the eighth.

Sometimes knowing you`re better than someone is enough revenge in itself that you can die peacefully.

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