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(A/N: Thanks to my wonderful Jack, without who the Irwin bit wouldn't be possible. ILY!!!)




I got in humungo trouble when my parents came in. No, I am not going to tell you about it. I have no desire to relive that nightmare in any way, shape, or form. I'll just tell you that I'm already grounded for the first two weeks of summer vacation.

It was Thanksgiving day in America. We don't celebrate it here in England. Stupid bastards. I want a day where I can gorge myself on food and not get called fat.

I'm not fat. I just like my foods. Back off.

So needless to say, I was pouting. Two reasons- one, I wanted a food day, and two, I was still utterly peeved that my first two weeks of summer would be spent in the confinement of my house.

Which would be fine if it was just Mum and I. But no. Daddy will be home alot.

Don't get me wrong, I love my Dad to bits. He's just completely bonkers.

And by bonkers I mean he puts the nutters down at the psych ward to shame.

Seriously.

Last summer, I was grounded the whole way through- thanks to James and Al of course- so I was stuck either in my house or in the yard. Daddy decided to try and... "bond"... if you will.

I ended up in our pond covered in lily pads and pond scum. There was even a frog on my head.

It would have been quite a fashion statement if it wasn't, you know, utterly disgusting.

"Why are you pouting Nik?" Heather laughed as she sat across from me.

I just mumbled incoherently.

"What?" she asked.

"She's pouting because she's not only grounded the first two weeks of summer, but she wants a Turkey 'Gorge Yourself' Day," James chuckled as he sat next to me and kissed my head.

"How did you understand her?" Heather puzzled.

"I am very fluent in Nikki Mumble. It's a talent," he smirked, "That and she pouts about the food every year."

"Why do you want to gorge yourself?" Heather piqued.

"Because. S'not fair. The stupid bloody American kids get the day off to eat all the potatoes, turkey, and pie they want. Who wouldn't want that?" I replied with a dreamy sigh.

"Me," Dom said pointedly as she sat down.

"Just because you're anorexic doesn't mean I want to be," I snapped.

"Sorry," she snapped back.

"Dom, you know never to argue with Nik on Food Deprivation Day. It's just a generally bad idea to even try," Al snickered as he sat next to Heather.

"I hate this bloody country sometimes," I huffed as I rested my chin on my folded arms, "Those American kids are fat enough. They need to sodding share, the greedy little bastards."

"It's Food Deprivation Day, isn't it?" Rose chuckled as she and Malfoy sat down.

"What in Merlin's name is Food Deprivation Day?" Malfoy sneered.

"I swear to God. If one more person says Food Deprivation Day, I'll kill them," I grunted.

"FDD," Rose grinned at her way around my threat, "Is our term for Thanksgiving."

"That American holiday?" Malfoy replied.

"No. The Czechoslovakian one. Yes, the American one, you dimwit," I snarled.

"Why Food... I mean, FDD?" He asked as he glanced at me fearfully.

He'd better fear me. Stupid slimy git. I'll reign down on him with the fury of a thousand Molly Weasleys, I swear.

"Every year since we got here, Nikki pouts on Thanksgiving because she wants the day off to gorge herself on potatoes, turkey, corn, pie, et cetera. But for blatantly obvious reasons, we don't celebrate it. Hence FDD," Al answered.

"Oh because she's being deprived of the food!" Malfoy exclaimed.

What in God's name does Rose see in that moron?"

"Aren't you the smart one!" I exclaimed sarcastically, "Daddy must be so proud!"

"Brilliant deduction, Sherlock," James drawled at the same time.

"Don't talk about my Father," Malfoy snarled.

"Do not fuck with me, Lemming Boy. Today is not the day to do that," I growled.

"She's right," Al, Rose, Lily, and Fred said in unison.

"Stupid crappy eggs," I grumbled as I pushed them around my plate.

"Nik, please don't boycott food today," James chuckled.

"Why not?" I huffed.

"Remember what happened when you did that last year? You didn't last. And who had to sneak down to the kitchens and get you food in the middle of the night because you were 'so hungry'? I won't do that again," he laughed.

He was lying. He would so do it if I begged with The Look.

"You're such a liar, James. You know you will if she asks," Fred chuckled.

"That- my dear cousin- is because my brother is utterly whipped," Al smirked.

"I. AM. NOT."

"You so are, James," Rose laughed.

James looked at me to help him. Wasn't going to happen.

"What? Don't look at me like I'm your savior out of this one. You are whipped," I snickered.

"No, I'm not," He grunted as he shoveled some eggs in his mouth.

"Whatever you say, James," Heather laughed.




"Nik, Please enlighten me to the fact why you feel the need to do the same thing every Care of Magical Creatures Class. The man is long dead. Leave him be," Al sighed as we walked to the Gryffindor Table for lunch.

"Oh come on, it's fun for me. Stop trying to ruin it," I laughed.

For some odd reason, Al hates it when I impersonate Steve Irwin. I don't know why, everyone else in our class seems to get a kick out of it. Even Rose.

"She did the Steve Irwin thing again, didn't she?" James laughed as I sat next to him.

"Every class, James. It never fails," Al said with a shake of his head.

"I wish I could see it," James grinned.

"It's pretty damn funny," Rose giggled as she sat down next to me.

Told you.

"What's pretty damn funny?" Frank asked as he sat on the other side of James.

"What he said," Colin piped up as he pointed to Frank and joined us.

"Nikki's Steve Irwin impersonation she does every Care of Magical Creatures Class," Heather answered as she sat next to Al. Again. Score one for Nikki's plan.

"Why did we never think of that?" Frank nudged Colin.

"I don't know, but we should have," Colin pouted.

"Why are we talking about Steve Irwin?" Dom puzzled as she sat next to Heather.

"Nikki," Half the group responded.

"Oh. You still do that Nik?" She laughed.

"Duh," I snorted.

"That would be something I would pay to see," Frank grinned.

"Yeah? How much?" I asked as I raised an eyebrow.

"I'll give you a Galleon if you do it right now," He smirked.

"Me two," Fred piped up.

"And me," Colin added.

"Ditto," laughed Rose, "Even though I see it every day."

"Two from me," James smirked.

"Way to out-do us, you bastard," Frank elbowed him.

"You all need mental help," Al mumbled.

"Six Galleons? You all have yourself a deal," I grinned as I got into a crouching position on the bench, "CRIKEY! Have a look at what we've got 'ere! What is this little beastie?!" I yelled as I pointed to the half-eaten chicken in the middle of the table,

"It looks like some bigger badder beastie got a hold of this poor thing... DON'T GET TOO CLOSE NOW, IT COULD GET YOU!

What a beautiful specimen!  Look at the legs on it mate, those look like some mighty strong 'ind legs! An' those stubby little wings! See, a bird like this needs those big, strong 'ind legs, since the poor thing clearly can't fly. It needs them to run from the other creatures that are out to eat its poor little body. Here comes one now! Everyone quiet while I sneak up on 'im! Don't try this at home kids!" I whispered as Malfoy came towards the table and I grabbed a carrot. "See the huge jaws and pointy nose? He could snaffle me up in just one bite!"

"Why is everyone snickering?" Malfoy frowned as he sat next to Rose.

I was crouched on the side of her where he wouldn't see me unless he was looking for me.

"Nothing," Rose giggled.

"Don't worry, I've got 'im!" I yelled as I leapt out and whacked him over the head with the carrot.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" He screamed as he toppled off the bench and onto the floor.

"CRIKEY!" I yelled as I hopped back on the bench, still grasping the carrot, "'E almost got me! Dangerous things, these predators! He could 'ave bit my arm off!"

Malfoy glared up at me from the floor and pulled out his wand.

"Wow! She-er, he, just won't give up will he?" I yelled. "Now watch this!" I shouted as I launched myself at Malfoy and started beating him into submission with my carrot. When he lay limp and un-struggling beneath me I got off. "Well, 'e didn't want to come, but we've got him." I smirked breathing heavily.

"MISS SCOTT! SIT DOWN AND STOP THE STEVE IRWIN IMPERSONATION! AND LEAVE MR. MALFOY ALONE!" Minnie scolded.

At least Hagrid was chuckling.

And half of the Great Hall was in hysterics. I didn't realize I had been that loud.

Awesome.

"Hey Nik, mind if I sit with Heather during Ancient Runes?" Al asked warily.

I almost hit him. I really did. We ALWAYS sit together. But I couldn't have my plan all sorts of messed up.

"Sure," I shrugged.

"Really? You not going to... err... beat me later, are you?" He replied skeptically.

"Nope. You two sit together. I'll find someone to torment," I grinned.

"Sit with me," Rose piped up.

I think my jaw hit the floor.

"Um, what about me?" Malfoy snapped.

"Sit with Zabini," she smiled, "I never see much of Nikki anymore. She's my best friend, and I want to sit with her."

I love Rose Weasley.

Malfoy grumbled incoherently with a sour look plastered on his face. I couldn't help but snicker at him.

"Shut up, Scott. I should have hexed you," he growled.

"Too bad I beat the shit out of you before you could," I laughed, "Oh, don't pout Malfoy, carrot is very nourishing for those silky blonde locks. And it got some of the gel out. That's good, since there was enough to last your Dad a lifetime."

"Stop talking about my Dad!" He yelled.

"Um.... nah. It's fun," I chuckled as I threw a carrot at him, "Eat up, I hear lemmings love carrots."

"You are such a bitch," he mumbled.

"Only to you, Lemming Boy, only to you," I smirked.




"So how are you and James?" Rose asked as we sat down for class fifteen minutes early.

"Never been better," I smiled as I took my notes out.

"Good, I'm glad you two finally got together. It was killing us all," she giggled.

"How are you and Malfoy doing?" I asked.

I had to be nice. She asked first.

"He's being a whiny git lately, to be honest. Clingy too. I'm glad you agreed to sit with me, let me tell you. He's driving me nutters," she sighed.

"Seriously? I mean, I knew he was a whiny git, but to you? Wow. What an arse."

"I don't know what to do, honestly."

"Well, don't ask me, that's for sure. You know I can't stand him," I chuckled.

"I know. I need to start listening to you, your intuition is usually spot-on," She smiled weakly.

She is just trying to shock me to death, I swear.

"Yeah, it is," I agreed with a grin.

"So how many detentions have you racked up so far?" She laughed.

Rose Weasley knows how to effectively change the subject. Like a bloody Pro.

""Um, let's see," I paused to count them up on my fingers, "I believe I'm at.... 26."

"It's only the third week of November!"

"Yup."

"Sheesh, Nik, that's more than you racked up last year by December," she awed.

"What can I say, I love shenanigans, and they love me back," I shrugged.

"Apparently," she snickered, "So did you and James, uh... you know... yet?"

"No. I don't know. Bake a cake? Find the final digit of Pi? Figure out why the Earth is round? Discover why we have yet to reverse gravity?"

"You know," she emphasized, "Have you..."

"God, Rose! No! We haven't even been together for two weeks!"

"Yeah, but you've known each other for forever..."

"Which just makes it that much more awkward. It's bad enough neither of us really know WHAT to do. Granted I probably know alot more than he does... WAIT. DID YOU AND MALFOY...?"

She blushed.

"OH MY GOD! EW EW EW EW BLOODY EW! That's so nasty, Rose!" I cried.

"SHHH! And it was really romantic..."

"I don't want to hear it! LALALALALA!!!" I panicked as I covered my ears.

"Alright, alright, I won't say anything," she chuckled, "But if you feel better not rushing it with James, that's always good too."




"Stupid fat Americans," I mumbled as Rose and I sat down for dinner, "You realize they're over there feasting their faces off?"

"Not anymore, Nik, they're probably sleeping. Time difference, remember?" Rose corrected.

"They have a whole day to eat food, and they're sleeping?! Wasteful gits! If I ever meet an American, I'm going to kick them so hard, they fly back to their country. Or Canada, depending on my aim."

"Try for Canada," Heather laughed as she sat next to me, "More of a punishment."

"That's not nice, me cousin is Canadian," Colin spoke up.

"You're bloody Irish, you git," Frank retorted as he smacked him upside the head.

"So?! It's by marriage!" He yelped.

"Than it's not really your cousin, moron," Heather laughed.

"Where are the boys?" I piped up.

"Oh, supposedly they have a surprise for you. That's all they would tell me," Heather shrugged.

"Oh God. I fear for my life now," I shuddered.

"You probably should," Fred laughed.

Ten minutes later, and everyone was in the Great Hall except James and Al.

"What the bloody hell are they doing?" I huffed.

"Dunno, but by the way they were smirking, it looked time-consuming. And mischievous," Heather shrugged again.

"So you and Al, eh?" I smiled as I nudged her.

"I dunno. Maybe. We'll see if he behaves," she laughed.

"What is that noise?" Lily asked as she looked around the room.

"Is someone... chanting?"

"Sounds like it Dom," Hugo replied with a grin.

"YOU! WEASLEY CHILD! YOU KNOW SOMETHING! WHAT ARE THEY DOING?!" I said frantically as I leaned over the table and grabbed him by his collar.

"Ow... Nik... choking... can't... breathe..."

"Sorry," I said as I let go of him, "I just feel that I have great reason to be mortally afraid. What are they doing?"

"You aren't in any kind of danger, trust me," he smirked.

Stupid Weasley/Potters and their smirks. I'd like to stab the smirks off of their faces with a chicken drumstick. Covered in mustard... or something else equally unpleasant.

"Oh. My. God." Rose said with wide eyes as she stared toward the door.

"What? Oh dear..." I exclaimed as I saw exactly what she was gaping at.

Sure enough, there was James and Al, chanting like Native Americans.

Dancing around in loin cloths and moccasins. And ONLY that.

Oh and the feather headresses.

I think I pissed myself laughing.

You should have seen it.

"How dare you steal our land!" Al screamed at a little Ravenclaw Firstie.

"Now you pay by scalping!" James finished as he grinned maniacally and held a tomahawk in front of the already-scarred child.

The poor thing ran off screaming.

It was great.

"Nice legs Al!" Heather jeered.

"I am not Al! I am Chief Squatting Duck!" He retorted as he danced around the Hufflepuff First and Second years grinning like a madman and waving the tomahawk at them.

"Wow, James has got a nice bum." Heather sniggered as she nudged me.

"Wow, he really does," I laughed, "I never really noticed."

Okay that was a blatant lie. I so noticed. But he always has, well, clothes on.

I looked over at Heather to see her reaction, she had her nose in a book, a twinkle in her eye and was stuffing her face with the turkey that managed to replace what was originally set out for dinner.

"OH MY GOD! MERLIN HAS BLESSED US WITH THE GIFT OF THE TURKEY BIRD!" I screamed like a giddy five-year old as I practically dove at the poor thing.

"Oi! Turkey!" Fred cheered.

"Don't even try it Weasley Child. I will murder you," I growled as I hovered over it protectively, "With my hairbrush. I swear to Merlin. MY. TURKEY. DAMMIT."

"You better share with me, bitch," Heather laughed as she stole some of my precious bird.

"I hate you," I grumbled as I glared at her.

"Nah, you love me," she laughed.

"Mr. Potter and... Mr. Potter!" Minnie screamed as she stood to her feet, "Where are your clothes?!"

"What the bloody hell don't these people get? I'm not Potter! I am Chief Squatting Duck! And this is... Chief... Crapping Bear!" Al grinned as he pointed to James.

"You arse," James shoved Al, "Chief Counting Bear. You stupid retard."

"Whatever," Al scoffed as he waved him off, "Cheif Crapping Bear suits you better."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" James sneered as he pointed his tomahawk at Al.

"You're a craphead? I don't know," Al shrugged with a laugh.

"Boy fight," I whispered to Heather.

"Seriously? They'd fight over that?"

"Uh, yeah. I've seen them fight over much more trivial things, believe me. Like who got to sit where at the dinner table at their house. For no reason whatsoever," I laughed.

"Retards," she chuckled.

"Yes, but I love them anyways," I chuckled as I watched them tackle each other in the middle of the Great Hall.

"Kick his ass, Al!" Malfoy cheered.

"Oi! Shut your Slytherin mouth!" I screamed as I stood on the bench and threw a turkey leg at him, hitting him square in the face.

Yes, I have a good throwing arm. I am multi-talented.

"You stupid mudblood!" he screamed.

"Mr. Malfoy!" Minnie shrieked.

"You're dead, Lemming!" James roared as he dove at Malfoy.

"Mr. Potter! Get off of Mr. Malfoy!" Minnie screamed.

"Get your facts straight before you insult someone you sod!" Heather yelled, "She's not muggleborn!"

"Shut up, Longbottom!" Malfoy retorted as he tried to shove James away. To no avail, since James got him in the jaw.

"Did, did he just tell you to shut up?" Frank asked huskily.

"I think he did," Heather said as she quirked an eyebrow.

"Longbottom him?" Frank smirked.

"Longbottom him," Heather smirked back as they both shoved away from the table faster than I could see and headed toward Malfoy.

"Wait! What is Longbottoming?!" Dom screeched worriedly.

See, she knew it meant something bad. Smart girl, that Dom Weasley.

"James, I can fight my own battles!" I yelled as I hopped off the bench and stormed over to him.

"Oh, sorry I was defending my girlfriend!" He yelled back at me.

He's hot when he's angry. And half naked. But I needed to focus.

Like really hot.

Where was I?

Oh yeah.

"I don't want you getting in trouble for no reason, you sod!" I yelled as I pointed my finger in his face.

"I'm already in trouble anyways! What's another detention?!" He shrugged.

"You bloody moron," I huffed as I punched him in his bare arm.

"OW."

"Nice arse by the way," I chuckled.

"Thanks. Wanna snog?"

"Sure," I shrugged.

Don't judge me.

You know if your totally gorgeous boyfriend was standing in front of you- practically naked, nonetheless- and asked you the same thing, you would be all over that.

"Get his legs!" I heard Frank yell.

"Everyone stop it! Someone bloody help me tame these children!" Minnie screamed.

Whatever. I was perfectly happy snogging James in the middle of the hall.

I got a detention for indecent behavior in public.

And it was totally worth it.

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