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Disclaimer: ‘butter my muffin’ = Mean Girls...and the rest is J.K.R’s :)

“Here are some aspirins, sir. They make your head seem smaller.” ~ Emelio from Mr. Deeds

Chapter 26: Morning Afters and Sexual Innuendos

There were two things I noticed when I woke up the next morning: one, mouth was dry, tasted disgusting and I had lost the feeling in my tongue; two, my head felt like it had been hit by a Beater’s bat...a couple of hundred times.

Urgh,” I mumbled, clutching my head as I sunk into the bed. Remind me never to drink again. I groaned softly, wrapping the sheets tighter -

And that’s when I realized I was naked.

What? I never -

Before I could even finish my thought process, a warm arm then snaked around my waist, pulling me into a warm, hard chest. My heart froze, adrenaline shot through my body and I gasped, the horrible realization and faint memories both sinking in.

Oh my God.

I had sex with James Potter. And I couldn’t even remember it.

Oh, I could remember bits of it; feeling of his skin on mine, rubbish like that! But certainly not the whole thing!


Crushing disappointment washed over me as I groaned, head hurting more than ever.

Great. Now I was disappointed.

Could this get any worse?

James moaned loudly in his sleep and tightened his grip around me, pulling closer into that soft, welcoming warmth. I breathed in James’ delicious scent, reveling in the delightful sensation of his hard, lean body pressed up -

FOCUS! You are Lily Evans, for crying out loud - of course it could get worse!

Someone could find us.

Wriggling around in his vice-like grip, I maneuvered myself so I was facing him, trying to ignore the fact we were both naked...and very, very aware of it.

Trust me, it wasn’t easy. Not with over six foot of attractive man pressed up against you -

“James,” I whispered softly. I knew the silencing charm was still working, but old habits die hard. I raised my voice a touch, ignoring the protest in my head. “James! You have to get up!” He groaned in response, his arms becoming impossibly tighter around me.

So I did what any other normal person would do - I kneed him in the ‘nads.

His eyes shoot open, tears already welling in his eyes and his arms loosened their grip. His mouth gaped, opening and closing without a sound as his body probably seared with pain.

Well, at least he was awake.

“You need to get dressed and get out of here!” I hissed. He just stared at me, probably barely comprehending me through the pain.


I rolled my eyes - he was being such a drama queen! “Suck it up, James!” I said, making my way out of the bed. I tired hard - and failed horribly - not to blush as I quickly put on a pair of pajamas. I could practically feel him staring holes into my back. I stiffened as I heard the sheets rustle.


“Touch me and so help me, it’ll be the last thing you do,” I said, pulling a ratty old bed-shirt over my head.

The rustling stopped. Ah, sweet control.

I heard more rustling and then James was at the end of my bed, pulling on his pants. I was momentarily distracted by his naked chest but when he caught me with a devillish wink, I frowned, willing myself not to blush and glanced at the

Two o’clock?! For all I knew, the Ceedoor twins danced a Russian jig at two o’clock in the morning!

I sprung up off the bed and began to push James to the door.

Get out!” I said, giving him one last shove through the door. After getting James out, I quickly followed, trying to be as quiet as I could when I closed the door. Then it was just me and James standing outside on the platform. On the view from the staircase, in the common room, I could see Marissa and Ella sleeping on each other, Sirius and Remus flanking them on either side.

It was rather cute, really. I would have gone all mushy, if I hadn’t had my own problems.

I shifted uneasily on my feet, looking anywhere but his face. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so awkward in my life. Oh God. I’d ruined everything! Everything I had worked on - okay, not so much worked on but had become accustomed to - had just disappeared in a poof of passion.

And firewhiskey. Really, all this is Sirius’ fault. If he hadn’t had brought that stupid bottle down to the -

“That was fun, Evans,” James said with an easy grin.

Huh. Obviously he didn’t feel the tension.

I didn’t know what to say so I just smiled awkwardly. He grinned back charmingly but there was something odd in his eyes. “We have to do it again sometime,” he said with a wink.

And then he leant in and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. I was so shocked at his strange casualness that I forgot to be insulted from his last comment. And then he winked as me again, the strange look still him his eye, and started down the stairs. I tried not to stare at his exposed back as he moved down the stair and then out of sight.

I sagged at the door. Thank God. It wasn’t half as bad as I thought!

And if it was awkward at breakfast, so help me God, I will make it normal.


I take it back. I take it all back.

I’m going to kill him. How can he do this to me?

He was just sitting there, acting as if nothing happened! With that stupid little smug grin on his face. Bastard. He hasn’t even mentioned last night - to anyone - and he just continuing to annoy me like every other damn day!

He even offered to butter my muffin!

And proceeded laughed about it with Sirius!

Never mind the fact I turned so red Ella asked me if I was choking. Which I was, because I gasped when he said it, inhaling some stray bacon. But oh no, never mind me.

Now he was just sitting there, smiling stupidly. “Double potions, Lily,” he said, looking smug. I narrowed my eyes. He winked. “Fancy a quickie with your partner?”

Sirius roared with laugher, but I literally had stopped breathing.


Damn Slughorn and his ridiculous list of partners.

“If I don’t make it through today,” I said, quite seriously to Marissa who looked inappropriately amused. She was my best friend! “Please take care of Buttons. Tell her her mother loved her and is sorry for throwing her at that prat.”

Because I was absolutely sure that today would simply kill me.

“What? You threw Buttons at James? Why?

Bollocks. Why do I open my mouth?

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