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M & M’S

 

“Hermione, what are you doing?” 

Hermione looked up at him with a look of surprise on her face.  Draco Malfoy was sitting across from her, eyebrow raised, eyeing her as she started to eat.  It was a quiet Saturday morning after breakfast in the Heads’ quarters and the two were reading and drawing as it suited them.  Hermione just received a package from her favorite uncle who, unlike her dentist parents, understood her need for sweets.  She emptied out a package of M&M’s and had just sorted them into piles by color when Draco interjected with his baffled question.

“What do you mean?”  She asked, looking at him, eyes slightly wide.

He nodded at the assortment of M&M’s that lay on the table.  They were being eaten by twos or fours, religiously.  “Why do you do that?”

“What are you talking about?”

“That!”  He pointed.  “Those things are perfectly arranged by color and you’re eating them in twos, for Merlin’s sake!”

Her eyes narrowed.  “I wasn’t aware it bothered you.  But if it does…”  She shrugged.  “Too bad.”  She smiled smugly, like a little child.

“Whatever.  You’re being OCD and I’m pretty sure that’s not normal.” 

She rolled her eyes and went back to her book.  He resumed drawing, occasionally glancing over at her dwindling piles of candy.  Suddenly, an idea struck him.  He looked up at her, a slow smile stealing across his face.  She met his gaze, frowning in suspicion.  Draco suddenly reached over, shoved all the M&M’s together, grabbed a handful and dropped them in his mouth.  He let out a bark of laughter at her face.

“There!  They aren’t even anymore!  Whatcha’ gonna do?”  He said through a mouth full of chocolate.

  He continued laughing as Hermione sat unmoving, a look of shock frozen on her face.  After a few moments, her features composed.  She calmly gathered up her book and the rest of her candy and walked stately to her room.

Draco’s laughter trailed off as he watched her leave.  This was new.  Usually when she was irritated, she threw back a biting retort and when she was mad, she yelled at him.  Loudly.  This brittle silence was disturbing. 

He got up and knocked softly on her door. 

“Hermione?”

The door opened suddenly, making Draco take a step back.  Hermione stood before him, one arm on the handle, the other on the doorframe, her cheeks flushed. 

“I’m sorry!”  She barked.  “Are you wanting something else to make fun of?!  Something else about me that you just refuse to understand?  Oh no, wait!  It’s my turn!  How about I say something about your constant need to run around in your undershorts?!  What about the scraps of paper you leave EVERYWHERE?!  Or no, no!  I know!”  She screwed up her face as she yelled, “How about THE THONGS I FIND IN THE CRACKS OF THE SOFA THAT ARE CERTAINLY NOT MINE!!”  She shook with the effort of her fury.  His eyes widened.  He didn’t know what he’d expected when he knocked on her door, but it certainly wasn’t this.

He finally found his voice. 

“What the hell?!” 

She huffed at him.

“I know you don’t understand it, but there are some things I do with no logical reason.  It’s not like you’re so normal either!”

He looked at her. 

“Thongs?”

She huffed and stamped her foot.  “My point!  You’re missing my POINT!”

“I think you did, too.”

She ignored him.  “My point is…just because someone does things a little differently than you doesn’t mean they’re weird or wrong or…anything like that!!  That’s exactly the whole attitude toward Muggles and IT HASN’T DONE ANYONE A BIT OF GOOD!!!!” 

Of course she would bring this around to the mistreatment of Muggles.  He was beginning to get pissed off too because they’d been over this same topic a thousand times.

“Listen, I already told you!  Muggles…fine!  Whatever!  Yeah, I’ll tolerate them, but accept the fact that we have differing opinions on the subject.  Why don’t you take your own rather forceful advice and realize that just because someone thinks differently than you DOESN’T MEAN THEY’RE WRONG!!”

“NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO USE MY WORDS AGAINST ME!!  THOSE ARE TWO DIFFERENT MATTERS ENTIRELY AND YOU KNOW THAT!!  And don’t say ‘lady’ like it’s an insult because it’s not!  I’M MORE LADY THAN YOU WILL EVER BE A GENTLEMAN!!!”

“OH YEAH?  WELL…that’s probably true.  BUT MAYBE THAT’S A GOOD THING!  THE WORLD DOESN’T NEED ANYMORE TIGHT-ASSED, UPPITY SNOBS RULING THE WORLD!!”

UPPITY?!  SNOBS?!”  Her voice went up an octave.  “LOOK WHO’S TALKING!!  I…YOU…UR…AH!!”  She pointed her finger at his nose. 

I’LL GET YOU, MY PRETTY, AND YOUR LITTLE DOG TOO!!”  She shouted.

            They stood there for an eternity.  Hermione pointed her finger, shaking with rage and Draco stood completely frozen, speechless.  Then, though he tried to suppress it, a snort of laughter escaped him.  Hermione’s arm fell limply to her side.  The corners of her mouth turned up despite herself.  They looked at each other…then, they were laughing hysterically until tears ran down their faces.

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