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Merlin hates Me

After the little stunt in the broom closet, it only took an hour to get around that Hogwart’s Current Biggest Trouble Makers (yes, we do have a title) started ‘going out’. Thinking about that saying, I wonder who started it. I mean, why could people have just kept using ‘dating’. So much more simple than ‘going out.’

So, anyway, around two weeks later James asked me to meet him in ‘the place to which I would know of.’ I still had, eh, a good ten minutes before I had to leave.

“LIZ!” came the urgent scream of my boyfriend’s younger sister.

I stood up from my seat on the Gryffindor Common room couch and dramatically threw my Herbology essay down. Ignoring the amused stares from other Gryffindors, I ran full speed up the stairs and into Lily’s dorm.

“Lily?! Are you alright?” I asked, almost out of breath, “Merlin I need to run more.”

“This is no time for you to be worrying about your health!” My fellow redhead screeched. “I have a serious issue!”


“Well,” she, thankfully, brought her voice down a few octaves. “I don’t know what to wear.”

No bloody way. I almost suffered from some sort of an attack because she couldn’t find anything to wear?

“Are you trying to kill me?” Oops, didn’t mean to say that.

“What do you mean?” Her fifteen year old voice whispered. “We’re friends; I would help you if you had this problem.”

Oh great, those eyes! For the love of all things holy, why did she inherit those puppy dog eyes?!

“Fine, what are you in need of this outfit for?” Oh, this better not take long, I can’t be late again.

“Hogsmeade, the last one before Christmas. I have a date.”

“WHO?” I yell, stunned.

“Lysander Scamander,” she yelled back.

I was silent for a minute. Lysander Scamander? The Ravenclaw or the Hufflepuff? Wait; is he even one of the twins?

“Ravenclaw?” I ask.

Lily nods. Lorcan and Lysander Scamander (not only have awesome last names) were the first twins since the Patil’s to get sorted into separate Houses.

“Sooooo…” I trailed off smirking.

“He’s in my year and was assigned to help me with Charms,” Lily blushed. “He asked me yesterday.”

“So short of notice,” I shook my head, frowning. “How?”

“He just asked me.”


“Let me guess, my brother got down on a knee and sang a romantic song he wrote about you?” Now she's smirking.

“Touché,” I mumbled. James actually asked me three days after The Incident, and that was probably on a whim.

“To get back to the topic,” She flipped open her trunk, “I was thinking—“

I shushed her and brought out my wand. I flicked it twice and gray tights, a short, white skirt, and a navy Puddlemere United shirt came out. I sent the clothes to lie on her bed and put my wand away.

“Okay then, um, thank you?” she raised an eyebrow at me.

“Skill,” I nodded in her direction and went to the door. Just as I was about to close the door behind me I turned around to face her again, “That will be 15 sickles for my services.”

I distinctly heard, “Put it on my tab!” before I closed the door with a snort.

“Arg,” I said when I saw the time. “Late again, damn it.”

I ran out of the portrait hole and toward the sunny outdoors. Once I flung open the doors to the Entrance Hall (not an easy feat, honestly are they made of solid lead?), I quickly walked toward the spot where I was supposed to meet James. Walking past Hagrid’s Hut, I went to the huge Willow tree by the lake. I heard a rustling noise.

Not wanting to draw attention to myself, I stepped carefully around the tree.

James Potter?” I hissed.

The pair pulled apart, black hair messy as always, James looked up in horror, reaching around the ground to find his glasses.

“Oh, hello,” The unknown blonde girl slurred, “Who are you?”

“I’m his girlfriend!” Anger welled in my heart, “Or at least I was.”

“Wait, Lizzy, I can explain,” James tried to stand, but stumbled as he couldn’t see.

“My name is Elizabeth,” I spat at him, looking around the ground. Spotted.

“You don’t understand, I was just—“

I lifted my foot and slammed it down on the grass, successfully breaking his glasses.

“Who do you think you are?” The girl asked. I didn’t even know a voice could get that high.

“I am Elizabeth Powell, your little buddy’s ex-girlfriend.”


“SAVE IT FOR SOMEONE WHO RUDDY CARES POTTER!” I screamed and threw a hex at him. I then ran for the castle, not looking back.

I made it all the way back to the Common Room before the first tear slid down my cheek. No, I can’t cry. I haven’t cried since I found out my parents were dead. A sob racks through my body anyway.


I look up to see the Common Room empty, accept for Lily.

“Are you alright?” She walked over to me, though shorter, she reached up and pulled me into a hug. “What happened?”

I mumbled something incoherent and she pushed me toward the stairs to the dorms. I walked up and lay on my bed.

“What happened?” She repeated.

“Potter—brother—blonde—female—willow—kiss—cheat,” I whispered, the truth sinking in.

“What?” Her face got white. “No, he wouldn’t, it’s probably a misunderstanding—“

“I promise, I know what I saw.”

She got a fierce look in her eye before leaving the room. I was about to call out when she came back in with a quill and some parchment.

“What are you doing?” I asked her.

“Telling Mum.”

I reached out and took the paper from her, “You can’t.”

I had met Mrs. Potter on many occasions; she had even sent me multiple letters by owl. If there was one thing I knew about her would be her temper. It’s as bad as mine, if not worse.

“Why not?”

“Because,” I though a minute. Remembering the girl with James, snogging. I handed her back the parchment. “On second thought go ahead Lily.”

She glared at the paper as she wrote, almost creating holes in the parchment. As she wrote, I couldn’t help but remember all the good times Potter and I shared in the short time we were together.

“So, where do you want to go?” James asked me. I looked around the Hogsmeade shops in fake thought.

“I don’t know,” I tapped a finger on my chin. “Oh! I know, how about Zonko’s?”

He laughed, “What, our first date and you want to go in the Joke Shop?”

“Yep,” I grinned at him, and then at our joined hands.

“I knew I liked you for a reason,” He got a smile on his face as well.

I sighed as Lily kept writing furiously. Well, I guess I am pretty lucky that I have her as a friend; she’d do anything for me.

“Two Butterbeers,” James set the drinks on our table and sat across from me. “So, enjoying yourself?”

I lifted the drink to my lips and took a long sip, “Yeah, thanks for the dungbombs. I was running low.”

“No problem,” He took a sip from his own glass and glanced around the pub. A silence followed.

“Soo,” We both started at the same time.

“You go,” he said.

I laughed quietly. “Just because we’re now ‘dating’ doesn’t need to change how we act around each other.”

“Yeah, so what do you wish to speak about?”

“How about a new prank, Mr. Potter?”

“Sounds wonderful to me. Great thinking, Ms. Powell.”

I leaned back wondering what could have possibly made him snog that girl. Was it something I did? And, more importantly, who the hell was she?

“Finished!” Lily exclaimed.

“Can I read it?”

She handed me the parchment. It read:

Dear Mum,

I am sorry to be the one to tell you this, but earlier this very day, your oldest son, James Sirius Potter, was found sitting behind the Willow tree by Elizabeth. This may not sound horrid to you now, but wait until I tell you what he was doing.

He was snogging, SNOGGING, a different female, a blonde might I add (thus directly insulting redheads by choosing her over Liz). Liz and I wish to get the support of another redhead, please bequeath unto us your amazing advice. It might even help if you send my non-brother a Howler. Thank You!

Love Always,

Lily Luna Potter

“What would I do without you Lily?” I asked as I finished the letter. I handed her work to her and she rolled it up.

“Fall into the Lake, probably,” She grinned and whistled out the window. Her owl, Sherbet, flew through and stuck out its leg.

“I really need to train my owl to do that,” I reminded myself.

“Skill,” she grinned at me, “Care to do the honors?”

“Sure, thank you Lily. I really appreciate this,” I attached the letter to its leg.

“I just can’t believe he would do something like that,” Lily frowned, “To Mum, alright?”

The owl hooted and just as it was about to fly out the window, I grabbed it.


I sighed. “Lily, I can’t tell your mother about this.”

“Why not?”

“It’s like tattling,” And as he used to be your best friend, it just doesn’t feel right.

Lily sighed, “Fine, but I will tell her eventually.”

“Okay, but not because of me,” I replied.

I sat back on my bed and closed my eyes, not allowing the tears to fall. There is a slam when the door closes. Thankfully Lily left, for a drop of water leaked out of my eye.

“No use crying,” I told myself quietly, “It’ll just give him satisfaction.”

I left myself drift off into sleep, not awakening until the next morning.

A week later, I still have not spoken with Potter. I basically avoided him with all my knowledge of Hogwarts’ passageways and secret tunnels. He has been trying to corner me though, but I’ve not let him. Although he has an advantage. The Marauder’s Map.

Apparently his grandfather and friends created the Map of Hogwarts. They used it for pranks and midnight escapes. At least that’s what I’ve been told. Anyway, Potter stole it from his father’s desk before he got to Hogwarts, therefore officially becoming his grandfather.

That day, a week later, I just got done with my last class of the day, Potions. I really hate Slughorn. I still don’t get how he can be that ‘jolly’ at his age. Walking down a silent hallway, someone grabbed my arm.

“Oi!” I yelled after something pushed me into an empty classroom. “Who’s that?!”

“Liz?” came the quiet voice of James Potter.

That’s just my amazing luck.

“Where are we, Potter?” my words even hurt me. “What did you do?”

“Nothing,” He said a little louder, “I’ve been stuck in here for a half an hour now!”

“Stuck?” I asked, voice squeaking.

“Yeah, door’s locked,” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Déjà vu, huh?”

Merlin hates me.

“Yeah, sure,” I walked to the back and sat on a desk.

We sat in silence before something sounded outside the door. I jumped up, ready to thank the person who found us, when the door slammed open and two boys flew in.

“We said sorry!” The one with hair like James’ said.

“Yeah, and we actually admitted to it,” Came the drawl of the blonde.

“Then tell them!” Yes! It’s Lily. “Tell the one’s who suffered from what you did!”

“Erm,” Okay, confused now. “Lily, what are you—“

She slammed the door behind her and pulled out her wand. “Accio wands!”

I felt my wand being pulled from my back pocket and before I blinked it was in Lily’s hand.

“Hey!” James yelled at his sister.

“Lilyyyy,” Albus Potter whined at his younger sister, “They’ll murder Scorp and I.”

“Why?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “And who?”

“Oh, um, you see,” Scorpius Malfoy started.

“These two Slytherins caused this mess!” Lily screamed. “And I can’t take it anymore!”

“Lily?” James backed away from his sister, slightly frightened. I snorted at his antics. A Gryffindor, sure.

“Explain,” she pointed her wand dangerously at the Slytherins. “Now.”

The two boys started talking quickly, at the same time. I only got a few words out of the jumbled mess, but the few were enough.





“Twenty Minute Love Potion”

“Random girl”

“Polyjuice Potion”

“YOU WHAT?!” I pounced on Malfoy and raised my fist. Before I could slam it in his pale face, someone grabbed my hand from behind.

“Lizzy, I wouldn’t do that,” James said to me and pulled me off his brother’s friend.

“Oh,” I said when I got to my feet, “You think now that I know you didn’t mean to do any of that, you think you can call me ‘Lizzy’?”

“Yep,” he gave the Potter smirk.

“Well, err, you can’t!” Honestly, couldn’t that have come out less stuttery? Wait, is ‘stuttery’ a word? Oh who am I kidding, no one cares.

“Why not?”

“Because,” Nice reason.

“I didn’t do anything! It was all those two’s fault,” He pointed to the cowering Slytherins.

He does have a point, “That may be true, but—“

“It is true!”

“Fine, it is true but,” I stopped. “Wait just a—you are right, this was never any of your fault.”

“Really?” He smirked again.

“It’s theirs,” I glared at Albus and Scorpius. “Their entire fault.”

“Lizzy, how about we get revenge later,” He whispered in my ear, sending a chill down my spine.

I couldn’t help the grin that made its way onto my face.

The next day, Christmas, Albus Potter woke to his best friend pulling him out of bed.

“Scorp, what are you doing?” I heard him ask. Scorpius dropped Al’s feet.

“Happy Christmas, look!”


“We both got boxes of Honeydukes!” Scorpius said happily.

“Really, from who?” Albus dragged himself out of bed and I watched as he picked up the large box of chocolates. “No name.”

Scorpius shrugged, “Hey man, its good.”

Albus shrugged and pulled open the lid. He reached in and pulled a huge chunk of fudge out.

“Perfect,” I whispered to my partner in crime. He grinned at me.

“Mmhm, these are good,” Albus turned to look at his friend, “SCORP!”

“What?” The boy asked.

“Look at yourself,” Scorpius’ hair had turned a bright shade of yellow, his skin had turned blue, and red boils were starting to sprout all over him.

Scorpius yelled. “Al, look at you!”

Albus looked down and let out a curse. His own skin was turned red, his hair blue, and yellow pus had started coming out of his skin. The two boys looked at each other, and then groaned.

“Potter,” Malfoy spat.

“Powell,” Albus smacked his head.

“Wicked,” James high-fived me as we crawled out of our hiding place in the Slytherin dorms.

I sighed and grinned at a prank well-preformed. Ah, sweet revenge. I took James’ hand and we walked back to the Gryffindor CM to open our own presents.

As soon as we got to the Common Room, I said the password. I was about to head inside when James spun me around.

“Oof,” I mumbled as I slammed into his chest, loosing my balance. I stumbled and was about to fall when he caught me. I heard him snort.

“Always falling for me, huh?”

I looked into his eyes and brought my lips to his.

“What can I say?” I whispered once I pulled away. “Apparently Potters have that affect on redheads.”




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