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The incredibly awkward situation began in an actually quite normal way. 

It just snowballed from there on. 

My mind was on an upcoming potions essay when I quite literally ran into Severus Snape. Instantly though, I had taken in his haggard appearance and forgotten the essay to question what was wrong. We didn't talk so much anymore but he used to be my friend. 

However, his only answer was to sneer at me before turning away. 

I had seen what sort of dark magic his so called friends were into and was always scared he was going to follow then too far. So I chased after him, asking again for him to talk to me. “Sev, come on.” I begged. 

“I’m back to Sev now? Leave me alone.” He told me in less than pleasant way. Trust me, the words ‘leave me alone’ were not used. 

“I was just asking if everything was okay.” 

“You haven’t spoken to me in almost two years.” He accused. 

I bit my lip, feeling guilty. “You don’t look so well, are you in trouble?” 

He began to chuckle darkly. “You have no idea what’s going on out there do you? Sheltered Lily Evans locked in her Gryffindor tower thinks I’m in trouble? It’s happening Lily, he is growing stronger and you are on the wrong side.” 

I held my head defiantly, growing angry as he spoke. I had only asked if he was okay. “You have a twisted idea about what is right, Severus.” 

He scoffed. “And James Potter is right? I’ve seen you two together.” 

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” I said growing angry. 

“Pathetic. You can’t even admit it.” 

“I was wrong about him. And you obviously.”
“You think he is better than me? He is a blood traitor and his friends are no better. Blood traitors and animals. The world will be a better place without them.” 

I felt sick. The way he spoke was so cold; this wasn’t the boy I used to know. This Snape was dark and twisted. “And me? The mudblood?” 

He stepped closer again. Our noses were practically touching but I couldn’t step back any further. “You I could save.” 

“What happened to you?” I asked quietly. 

There was a moment’s silence in which I wasn’t sure what he was going to do when all of a sudden he was gone, pulled away from me and thrown to the ground. Snape looked as surprised as I did as James loomed above him. 

“Stay away from her.” He ordered, turning to grab my arm. I pulled away from him at the same time that Snape sent a jinx James’ way. It missed but in the ten seconds James was distracted Snape lunged at him, dragging him to the ground as well. 

All my screaming did nothing as they began to fight for real; a strange mixture of punches with the odd jinx thrown in when possible. 


Horrendously stupid. 

And that was the guy I was supposed to be in love with. One could say that it was self defence but the way he was throwing punches I knew it was way past that. 

Without thinking I pulled out my wand and used the first spell that came to mind. James, strung up by his ankle, looked quite surprised by my choice in spell. One day I would have to thank him for teaching me that one. McGonagall came rushing around the corner as I with another flick of my wand I let him loose again. Sadly he was prepared for the fall and caught himself before his head could hit the ground. A real shame. 

As soon as he was on his feet I pushed him hard. “What the hell was that?” I screamed, pushing him once more for good measure. Not that it did much. He barely moved. I turned to see Severus still crouched on the ground smirking at James like he had won. Oh hell no, no one won; they were both idiots; I just expected more from James. 

With McGonagall on the scene I figure I leave so I, in all my melodramatic glory, gave him one last shove before exiting stage right, leaving them to whatever punishment they were about to receive. 

He may or may not have called after me. I don’t know; the static like anger in my ears made it difficult to hear his voice. 

I mean, I can imagine what it would have looked like from an outsider’s point of view sure; girl trapped in corner, boy in her face… especially when it was Severus Snape but had I ever needed him to rush to my rescue? I really thought he had gotten over his heroics. 

Unfortunately approximately three minutes later he caught up with me on the sixth floor. “I’m not sorry.” he said in way of an opening line. “I hate the guy.”
Well duh. I continued to ignore him. I tried to walk faster but he kept up. 

“And I hate the way he looks at you.” 

He was jealous? I hadn’t been sneaking around with Severus for last few months. I called him an idiot. Again. “We were only talking.” 

“Talking, really? With you pushed up against a wall and him with his greasy face inches from yours?” 

“Maybe we were going in for a snog and you ruined the moment.” 

He didn't even have the decency to pretend to be hurt by that. Disgusted maybe but not hurt. “Oh, another secret romance?” 

“Yeah I have a total of seven going now.” 

“Your lucky number.” He spat back quite bitterly. 

I stopped as we reached the seventh floor corridor, turning to him. “He was actually warning me off you.” 

I was geared up for a good argument but once again James Potter surprised me. Instead of launching into an attack on Snape he rubbed at his eyes and checked his watch. “I have to go.” He told me suddenly, leaving me alone in the hallway as he ran in the opposite direction of the common room. 

Any residual anger had quickly dispersed into a nice well rounded state of confusion. It was almost curfew. Where would he be going at this time? I ran after him, but he had seemingly disappeared. 

Figuring he couldn’t be long anyway I headed back to the common room to wait for him. Something was up if he gave in that easily. 

By midnight I was sitting at the window staring at the moon when I was reminded of Severus’ little digs today. 

The werewolf theory he had told me a couple of years ago. 

That was when my silly brain put two and two together and came up with five. I jumped to the conclusion that his theory was wrong; that it was actually James. 

It’s not that crazy when you think about it either, James was always absent at the full moon, (or I think had been for the last four months), he was always tired and moody around then and often appeared with strange cuts and bruises. I had no other explanation to go on and what can I say? I panicked slightly. 

It was a long night. 

It was just after dawn when he, Sirius and Peter all struggled in looking tired and dirty. I think they were as surprised to see me there as I was to see all of them together. 

Without Remus. 

I got four that time. While James sat in class irritable and half asleep Remus Lupin 
simply didn't show up. 

“Merlins tea cosy Remus really is a werewolf!” Was what I shouted before James, in one giant leap crossed the room and covered my mouth with his hand. 

“You figured that out from what?” James hissed at me after an eternity has passed.
I didn't understand what that is supposed to mean but I bit his hand for good measure and demanded to know what they were doing out there. I mean, full moon, werewolf on the loose and they decide to go for a midnight stroll? I was not stupid enough to believe that was a coincident. 

Total silence. Total awkward silence. There were shuffling feet and sideways glances. “Well?” I pressured. 

Peter looked at Sirius, Sirius looked at James. James seeing the both of them looking at him coughed awkwardly, stalling for time. 

“And don’t you dare lie to me.” I threatened. 

James seemed to weaken at that moment. 

“Prongs.” Sirius cautioned in a low voice. 

Prongs? What does that mean Sirius?” I can’t help but mock. He ignored me, focusing instead on James. “You can’t.” 

“She knows half anyway.” 

How does she know half?” Sirius mocks. 

“I didn't!” James protested quickly. “I wouldn’t.” 

Oh he didn't. “Severus.” I cut in defiantly because James has definitely told me nothing. 

“Bloody Snape.” Sirius mutters. 

“Yeah!” James sneered. “Snape’s fault isn’t it?” 

“You know I never meant it to go that far!” Sirius protested. 

I was so lost by this point. 

“But - ” Peter attempts to cut in. Mistake. It was too meek. You can’t expect to get herd with a tiny interruption like that. I demanded to know what was going on and they both turn to look at me. Then James shot Sirius a look. He took a seat. I sensed defeat and waited, less than patiently, for the truth. 

At this point James gave me a weak half smile. “Remus is a werewolf.” 

I took a deep breath. Ok. That one I kinda knew but still a shock. “And you?” 

He shrugged weakly. “Keep him company.” 

Growing impatient, I ask for the hundredth time how. I guess Sirius was getting impatient also as he reminded James it was almost breakfast. Yet still he stuttered. 

I frowned, growing more and more afraid. My mind was jumping to silly conclusions. Scary conclusions. Was it both of them? Had Remus bitten James? 

That was about when in a huff of impatience and a few choice words, Sirius jumped up from the couch and leaped over the back, landing, much to my surprise, as a huge black dog. 

“Certainly one way to tell her.” Peter mumbled, taking Sirius’ seat. 

Who would have thought right? Animagi. As I opened my mouth again James lunged forward but I step back this time. I wasn’t going to scream. This was a silent kind of shock. 

Okay that was one thing I wasn’t thinking. Animagi never even crossed my mind. Maybe because the idea was positively ludicrous. After another eternity of silence I ask what he is, just because I needed to say something. They are all waiting for my reaction and I was trying so hard not to freak out but it’s not every day you find out your quasi-boyfriend can turn into a giant deer at will. 

I asked all the right questions in a calm voice while feeling anything but calm. And with Sirius pushing at my hand with his nose, his wet, dog nose it was growing more and more difficult to stay composed. The whole situation was just mind boggling. 

All I could think about were the dangers; its true werewolves don’t attack animals but I couldn’t believe they were actually willing to test that. Oh, I hope they had done their research before hand. But then to become an animagi was way beyond a fifth years capability. I was torn between admiration and complete rage. 

Finally I asked the question; “Does anyone know?” 

“Well we always assumed Dumbledore was savvy but it’s never been confirmed.” Sirius joked. “And then Snape… but that’s a long story and doesn’t paint me in the best light.” 

“I can’t believe you never told me.” 

Sirius snorted. “Because this has worked out so well for us.” 

“I’m sorry.” James said sincerely. 

“Would you have ever?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“I’m sorry; I’m tired and a little confused.” Sirius butted in. I look over at him, eyes closed like he was bored with the conversation. He opened them only to glare at me. “Why does this concern you?” 

“Because he should have told me.” I stuttered, seeing my mistake. Why should I care? Sirius snorted indignantly again, accusing me of sounding like a girlfriend. 

There was another awkward silence. I mean, I have lied about our relationship but not outright. In this silence Sirius jumped up, hand covering his mouth. “No way.” he gasped. 

No one could deny anything. 

“How long?” 


James and I just stared at each other until Sirius impatiently repeated his question. 

“Five months.” James answered quietly. Almost six actually. 

“You two have been together for five months and you kept it a secret?” Sirius said very loudly just in time for a few early risers to hear. Fabulous. “What are we talking, a secret date or two, drunken hook-up, smooching in broom cupboards or are we talking -” 

“Sirius…” James cut in tiredly as I grew alarmed. 

He laughed. “Well that about answers that question.” 

And to my horror I start to cry. Trying to avoid eye contact with our ever growing audience I pushed past him and headed for the dorms. It was Sunday; could at least hide for the day and everything would pass… or so I thought. 

Unfortunately the snowball was still baby sized. 

Monday was a full on avalanche.

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