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Chapter Five: Torn


“So, Aunt Ginny, can I ask you something else?” I say as we are finishing the lunch she made.

“Of course,” she smiles.

“How did you know that I was pregnant by my putting on this shirt?” I asked. I hadn’t taken the shirt off, it was very comfortable, but I had been wondering how the hell it confirmed my pregnancy.

Aunt Ginny laughed as she took another bite of her pie, “That’s a maternity shirt, Dominique. It supports a mother’s belly and even makes them look less pregnant, so to speak.”

I narrowed my eyes at her and she laughed more. Aunt Ginny knew how to trick people; I guess that is another perk of growing up with Uncles Fred and George. Then my eyes widen again, “Wait, so I can’t wear these out? People will know that I’m preggers if I do?”

She shook her head, “No, I bought these shirts before I told everyone that I was pregnant with Lily – no one knows that they are pregnancy shirts except those that own them… which is no one in the family, I’m sure.”

I let out a breath as I took my last bite of pie. At least now I had a comfortable shirt I could wear. I had told her most of what had happened leaving out only the details that I was sure she was dying to know: the father and the night of conception. It made me uneasy that she hadn’t asked yet – like she was going to trick me into telling her just as she tricked me into revealing my pregnancy.

Nevertheless, she had been really helpful and it would be nice to have someone older accompany me to the healers. It’s not like I was up for asking the father of the child – whom I am not even sure I ever want to talk to again. I picked my wand off of the table and waved it, allowing the dishes to wash themselves and return to their cabinets.

“Thank you for having me over, Aunt Ginny, but I really need to go home and get my charts done,” I say as I lift myself up out of my chair. She stands too and then sends her plates to clean themselves. “And thanks for all the help,” I say nervously as I realize that we hadn’t discussed the secrecy of my condition.

“You’re welcome, Dear,” she smiles as she walks around the table to take me into a hug. “And don’t worry, you’re secret is safe with me, ‘Nique.” She pulls away.

I smile as I start to tear up for absolutely no reason. Perfect. Aunt Ginny laughs, “Please don’t hesitate to call on me with any questions, okay? Or anything you need; I am your godmother.”

“Thanks,” I smile. She backs away and waves. As I disapparate I feel a bit better about the whole situation, yet I know Aunt Ginny was probably just tuning the disappointment and questioning down so that I won’t be scared to come to her with questions or worries.

I arrive at my flat by the kitchen table and see two letters awaiting me on the table. Walking over, I see one is from my mother and the other from Victoire. I groan; are they seriously going to berate me? Didn’t Victoire send her precious Teddy to do that last night? I decide I might as well read the letters, and getting the worst over with first, open the one from my mother.

Dominique,
When your sister told me that you were hesitant, if not against, being her maid of honor, I could hardly believe such a thing. Your father and I are both shocked and confused as to why you would deny your only sister this. We are aware that we cannot force you to be her maid of honor, as you are an adult now, but we advise you to rethink this decision. She is devastated and she loves you very much. After all these years, do you seriously dislike her so much that you would ruin the best and most exciting day of her life? She would jump in front of a curse for you, yet you won’t hold the flowers as she says her vows? I think that you are being very selfish and this decision is poorly thought through. Maybe this letter will allow you to realise these things and make amends.
Maman


I was about to rip up the letter and set fire to it, when I was interrupted by another owl swooping through the open window in the living room. It was my Maman and Dad’s owl. I had an urge to curse it right back out the window, but it dropped the letter on the table in front of me and I saw that it was from Dad; so I let it go in peace. I sighed and hoped that this letter wasn’t as bad as my mother’s. Victoire was the Maman’s girl, but I definitely liked my Dad more. He understood me; I was truly a Weasley while Victoire and Maman acted more like Delacours. Louis was a Weasley, too – I made sure of that.

Dominique,
I trust that you have already received and possibly read the letter that your mother sent you. I also would assume that you probably wanted to rip, tear, or burn it, which is understandable. I know she may have mentioned my name and/or used the plural “us” or “we” and I’m not saying that I don’t share the same belief that you and your sister should reconcile. However, as your mother may not be able to comprehend in her anger, I think that for you to refuse or even be hesitant to be Vic’s maid of honour, you would have to have a very good reason – at least I would hope so. Mainly, I am writing this letter to let you know that your mother and I do not hate you or think less of you because of this. She wrote that letter with one hysterical daughter crying the next room, so much of that she will come to realise was just an overreaction. I want you to know that whatever it was that made you say no to Victoire, if it is (as I expect it to be) a personal problem, I want you to know that we are always here for you, ‘Nique. Everything will work out, don’t worry. I just think that Victoire has a bit more Weasley in her than we assumed – you know we’re famous for our tempers.
Much love,
Dad


I had to wipe tears from my eyes as I read my Dad’s words. I always knew I liked him better; he could look at things objectively and not just concentrate on himself (which is more than I was willing to say about my sister and mother).

As I looked over the letter again, I had an urge to just floo home and run into my Dad’s arms and confess everything. I felt like a little girl again; like telling my Daddy would make everything better. I was ready to confess my mistake and accept my grounding, just as I had when I lived at home.

But I wasn’t ten anymore and this wasn’t a confession of how I turned the neighbor’s hair green when he called my own hair color weird. I was an adult, I was living on my own, and this mistake was much bigger than accidental magic – this was an illegitimate child. With my sister’s fiancé.

I set my dad’s letter down and opened the one from Victoire with a heavy heart – I did know that she had some right to bitch at me. I was willing to take it from her, even if she didn’t know my biggest sin yet.

Dominique,
I know you think that I’m writing this to tell you how mad I am about you not being my maid of honour and whatnot. But I am not willing to discuss that with you, at least not yet. If you don’t want to be in my wedding, the most important event of my life thus far, that’s fine. I’ll just get someone else to do it.
What I am writing about is probably going to sound a bit strange to you, but you will understand one day when you meet the love of your life. I think that last night after I cried to Teddy about how much of a bitch you were being, he left to see you. At least that’s what I heard him telling Maman. He didn’t come back to the burrow after that so I assumed that he was at our flat. When I walked into our bedroom he was sitting at the end of the bed with his head in his hands. I asked him what was wrong, and he just shook his head. He got up to go to our bathroom and I got a glance of his face – I could tell that he’d been crying.
Now, I know that this may not mean anything to you, as you obviously don’t care about me or my life, but Teddy is my fiancé and I love him very much. He was gone this morning before I woke up and he hasn’t contacted me at all. Could you please shed some light on this situation? Do you know anything? Please, please, Dominique. I have to know if this is something I did. If you know anything about his, or if something happened/was said last night when he was with you could you please tell me? I’m asking you this as your sister, though that obviously doesn’t mean much to you. Please, this is the last thing I will ask of you if you so wish.
Victoire

My legs gave out and I found myself on the floor in a heap. I didn’t know what to think or what to do. On top of my mother hating me and my dad knowing there must be something wrong, Victoire thinks that I not only hate her but that Teddy does too. Teddy isn’t handling this very well, obviously, as disappearing without telling your fiancée where you are going is a bit sketchy. Who the fuck does he think he is, anyway? Knock me up, but when he finds out about it just ignore my sister? Minister of Magic – that must be who he thinks he is; though I’m sure that the actual Minister has more tact than that!

My anger at Teddy builds at the same rate that my pain and shame for Victoire does. I am literally being torn in so many pieces right now that I think I’m going to be ripped in half. I lay back on my floor, letting the letter drift away as I spread out my arms and stare at the ceiling. I notice that my stomach feels a bit more pressured than normal in this position due to the growing baby inside of my uterus. Fantastic. I roll over to my side and curl myself into somewhat of a ball. What the hell am I going to do?

I’ve asked this question so much, that is has almost lost all meaning. Closing my eyes, I realise how tired I am. My last thought was of my sister – my poor, innocent, and unknowing sister.

*

TEDDY LUPIN!” A loud – really, really loud – scream jerks me awake. I pull my wand out of my back pocket and sit up ready to curse whoever the hell has just entered my flat yelling. I look at the door into the kitchen and don’t see anyone coming. “DOMINIQUE CEDRELLA WEASLEY, YOU COME OUT HERE THIS VERY INSTANT!” yells a familiar voice.

I gulp as I stand up, almost wishing it had been a stranger set to rob me other than my Aunt Ginny… though why a robber would yell ‘Teddy Lupin’ upon entering my house, I don’t know.

“Aunt Ginny?” I walk into the living room and see her standing over by the fireplace looking as angry as I’ve seen her since the time James had tried to get Lily to lick the stove burner at a family dinner. And that was ten years ago.

TEDDY?” she seems to be incapable of forming any more complete sentences at this point, though I think I get what she’s trying to say. I look at the floor, feeling more like a little kid getting scowled than I have in a long while. “Of all the goddamn people to sleep with, you choose Teddy Lupin?!”

“I didn’t choose him, okay!” I finally look up and say, my voice cracking. “It was an accident!”

Aunt Ginny laughs as she walked around my couch and get closer to me, “An accident?” she asks, incredulously. “An accident is forgetting to pay the rent; an accident is not getting milk at the supermarket; will you please explain to me how you and Teddy having sex can be considered an accident? Did he slip and fall in exactly the right place while you were on the toilet or something cause this is all a mystery to me!”

Honestly, I was getting a little angry. Who was she to come into my house and yell at me? And what happened to all that ‘I’m here for you’ stuff that she said this morning? That’s what I want to know.

“How’d you find out?” I asked.

“Harry came home talking about how his godson knocked some girl up – someone who wasn’t his bloody fiancé – and how Teddy came to him asking advice. I, however, thought it was really ironic that it was around the same time that you would have conceived. So I put two and two together and your guilty face was more than I needed to confirm my theory,” she explained, still angry.

“Well, bully for you, then. You figured it out. So now that you know who the father is you take back all that you said this morning? Good to know,” I retort as I turn on her and walk to the loo.

It’s silent for a minute then I hear her footsteps following me, “Oh, Dominique,” she says. “I’m sorry, I was just surprised,” I close the door to the bathroom behind me, leaving her in the hall talking to the door. “I just didn’t know what to think or how it happened and he’s engaged to your sister and he’s Teddy Remus Lupin – I’ve known him since he was born and I’ve raised him and how could you both do this!” she spiels.

I finish my business and as I’m washing my hands, I notice how depressing I look – eyes red and puffy, face drained – how could anyone not notice something was wrong?

I open the door and see her standing in the hallway, looking repentant, “I don’t expect you to just forgive me.” I say. “I mean what would you do if Uncle Harry had a baby with someone else – your sister – while you two were planning your wedding? You wouldn’t be too happy, I know, and therefore I’m the bad one and everyone should take Victoire side. I get that.”

I walk past her and wipe tears from my eyes again. “Dominique, I’m sure that you didn’t plan to do this – you just said it was an accident!” she chases after me. I take a moment to realise how weird it is that in the last minute the sides of our arguments have switched. “Please just tell me what happened – I’ll help you get through this, ‘Nique.”

I plop myself down on the couch and lean my head back, closing my eyes. How can I be so tired when I just napped for Merlin knows how long? I hate pregnancy. I feel Aunt Ginny sit down beside me. I sigh and begin to explain what happened that night three months ago.



“So they weren’t technically together when you two had sex?” she asks after I finish my story.

I shake my head, “No, but do you think that will make the news any better to hear?” I ask bitterly.

She stares at me, but I don’t think that she’s actually seeing anything; she has that ‘I’m thinking’ face. After a minute of silence, she refocuses, “I guess you’re right, but I think that you need to tell them anyway, Dominique.”

I sit up quickly and look at her in shock, “You think I should tell Victoire and my parents?” I ask her, questioning her sanity and judgment in my head.

Much to my disbelief she nods, “I think that it’s better to get it over with now rather than drag it out. What were you going to do – tell them after you give birth?”

I decide that she might have somewhat of a valid point; I shrug, “Maybe,” I admit. “Moving out of the country was another option.” I sink back into the comfortable cushions of the couch.

“Dominique, you’re smarter than that. We all love you too much to let you escape without a thorough investigation, and you know that,” she points out. “That said, you also should have figured that you only have about one more month until you won’t be able to go out without people knowing that you are expecting. They’re going to ask questions, Dear. Not only us nosy relatives, but also the papers – you know they’d have a field day with this.”

I groaned loudly. Everything Aunt Ginny was saying was true – I had just been to naïve to think about it before. And, honestly, I had to say that ignorance is bliss.

“You have to tell them,” she repeated, reaching out to smooth my hair back out of my eyes. “And the sooner the better. No one is going to hate yo –”

No one’s going to hate me?!” I sit up again and turn to look at her, tears coming yet again. “What about Victoire? Whose fiancé’s child I’m having? What about Maman, who favors Victoire as if she were God’s gift to humankind? What about Dad, who thinks better of me? What about the whole damn family, Aunt Ginny? Everyone will know that this is wrong and horrible!” I cry. “And not only will they hate me, they’ll all shun Teddy, too! He loves you all as if you truly were his family, how can I do this to him? How can I do this to my sister? Everyone’s going to hate me, can’t you see that? There’s no way of getting around it!”

I notice that my hysteria caused Aunt Ginny’s eyes to water – which never happens – and she takes me into another hug. “Shh, Dominique, it’ll be okay,” she says and, uncharacteristically, her voice cracks. “I don’t hate you and they’ll get over it, eventually.”

“What have I done? This child is going to come into this world the most hated baby ever!” I sob into her shirt.

She stops rubbing circles on my back and pulls me away from her, “What about you, Dominique? Do you hate this child?” she asks.

I stare into my godmother’s soft brown eyes and think; do I really hate this kid I’m carrying? This child that is going to grow up hated by everyone else in the family… did I hate him or her? I thought back to a few days ago, when I heard it’s heartbeat, and realized that I didn’t. Whoever the father may be, I couldn’t hate this baby. It was part of me now and I felt the need to protect it. I didn’t know if I loved it, but I definitely did not hate it.

I shook my head, “No.” I whisper.

“Then just in this room, are two people who do not hate this child,” she says. “And no matter what you decide to do – adoption or not – this child will not have a bad life, do you understand me, Dominique? I will make sure of that.”

I nod, unable to say anything.

“I think you should tell your parents. And Victoire. I don’t know what Teddy is going to do, you probably need to talk to him first, but hiding this for any longer is not doing anyone any good.”

Except me, the baby, and Teddy; Aunt Ginny may not comprehend that our lives kind of hang in the balance here… But either way, she was right, I had to admit. The quicker I got this over with the sooner I wouldn’t have to worry about hiding everything. I could just live my life hated by my whole family and possibly half of the wizarding world that adore the Teddy/Victoire relationship. Great.

Crack!

“Ready to do our super-fun charts!” Emmelyn appears in my living room with faux cheerfulness. She then sees me, my face tearstained, half lying in my aunt’s arms. “Er – well… is this a bad time?” she asks.

And I couldn’t help it, the look on her face was so priceless – I burst into laughter. Aunt Ginny and Emmelyn stare at me with looks of worry and amusement. “It’s fine, Em,” I calm down and manage to say. “Aunt Ginny found out about the baby… and it’s father.”

“Oh,” she says. “Well, I can come back later to do our charts. Or, hell, who cares about the charts, yeah?” she smiles, trying to be helpful.

“Nice to see you again, Emmelyn,” Aunt Ginny smiles. “I was just about to leave, I think. It’s getting near dinner and I kind of left the house suddenly. Harry had got to be wondering where I went to.” She stands up and I do the same. She looks to me, “Is it okay if I tell Harry, Dominique? Or would you rather do that yourself?”

My first reaction is fear – the thought that I don’t want anyone to know about it, ever. But then I take a deep breath and look at it rationally, “I guess you can tell him. Just tell him to keep it to himself for now, okay? But you’re right, I do need to tell everyone – I just need to talk to Teddy first. I don’t want him looking any worse than he already will.”

Aunt Ginny nods, “I’m here for you, ‘Nique. Really. I love you.” She says as she hugs me again. I hug her back as I think suddenly that I’ve never seen Aunt Ginny be this touchy-feely.

“Thanks. Love you, too,” I say.

We pull apart, “Well, I’ll leave you two to it, then. Have fun,” she smiles.

“Oh, you don’t even understand the fun,” Emmelyn grumbles. “It was nice seeing you again, Mrs. Potter.”

Aunt Ginny nods at Emmelyn and then disapparates. “Well,” Emmelyn sets her bag down on the coffee table. “That was awkward.”





***

A/N: I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY, GUYS!!! I know that its been forever. And I feel AWFUL. Its spring break now, exams are over, and I'll be writing more, I SWEAR. So please, please, PLEASE don't hate me. And if i have any readers left, PLEASE REVIEW. I'll possibly cry out of joy.
over and out.
HPsmartone32

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