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Dearest Reader,

You are about to embark on a journey of epic proportions. A fair warning: this story has some dark materials within its pages (albeit this is the Internet). Please tread carefully. On a lighter note, there is plenty of humor in here! Feel free to leave any comments at all! Just please remember to be polite if you are going to criticize my works! Thank you! Now, without further ado, here is
Siriusly Random!

-MW

Disclaimer: I am not JK, nor am I Starkid, nor any other famous person whom may be quoted in this story!

I pace back and forth in my cell, just thinking about how my life went down the drain. I shrug off the feeling of darkness as yet another Dementor passes by. I hear laughter coming from a cell adjacent to mine.

"Shut up, Bella," I hear Nott shout. I grimace: I hate being an innocent man in Azkaban. I did not actually do anything. I was framed. I had cornered the bastard to just punch his brains out and then just had to kill twelve Muggles! Twelve! But you've probably heard the other story, where I killed thirteen people. Blah, blah, blah. The only reason that I had been there was to make him pay for killing my wife and child.

Oh, you want to hear that story? Well, let me sit down and I'll tell you.

It all started sixteen years ago...


“Oi! Black!” I turned to see Melody Rogers running up to me on the platform. She had long, blonde hair, hazel eyes, and a slim – yet curvy – body. I sighed. I’d never had a girlfriend like her before. Beautiful. Smart. Quirky. Funny. And, she’s a good kisser. Oh, and she was chaser for the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

She hugged me as soon as she reached me. I twirled her in a circle.

“Hey, Mellie.” She giggled; I had used my secret nickname for her. I set her down and saw something I didn’t expect: Peter Pettigrew, one of my best friends, glaring at me. When he saw me looking, he flipped me off.

“Excuse me,” I told Mellie. I proceeded to walk up to Peter.

“What the hell’s your problem, Wormy?” I asked him out of curiosity.

“YOU FUCKING KNOW!” He spat violently.

“What the fuck...oh.” I remembered something from first year...



“Hey Wormy! Truth or dare?” James challenged enthusiastically.

“Truth,” Peter answered. James thought for a bit and then he asked a question.

“Who do you have a crush on? And this goes for EVERYONE!”

“Melody Rogers,” Peter said immediately.

“Anna Leese,” I said.

“Andromeda Black,” Remus said.

“DUDE! No! Nuh – uh!” I said.

“Yes,” James said. “Now leave it. It’s my turn. And don’t laugh at me!” We looked at him expectantly. “Lily Evans!”



... “Peter, you still have a crush on Melody?!” I asked skeptically.

“YES! Now, if you would please break up with her so that I can make her happy?”

“I’m sorry, Pete,” I said. “You had your chance. And she’s happy with me. I’m in love. She makes me feel complete!” And then, the unthinkable happened; he slugged me. I rubbed my jaw from the impact as some one started yelling.

“PETER PETTIGREW!” We both looked at Mellie, who had come up next to me. “If you EVER come near either The Marauders or the their girls ever again, I will personally kick your ass as far as the God damn devil allows me,” she said through her teeth.

The look on Peter’s face was one of pure pain.

“Now GO! Leave the rest of us alone! You are no longer a Marauder.” She hooked her hand around my arm and dragged me toward the glimmering, scarlet engine known as the Hogwarts Express. We boarded and found our compartment. Later, James, Lily, Remus, and Tonks filed into the compartment. To my surprise, Lily sat next to James. I guess I shouldn’t have been that surprised; James’ parents died halfway through sixth year. The Potters and the Evans’s had become very close after first year. They invited each other to parties every break. I was invited to one such party while I was living with James. It was fun; it was that night that I hooked up with Melody. This summer, however, I stayed with Mellie for two weeks, then I went to stay with Remus for the rest of the summer, since James had spent his entire summer with Lily. I guessed they had bonded with each other. The train lurched to a start.

“So guys, anything new?” Nymphadora Tonks asked. Even though she was only a second year, she acted as if she was 17.

“I guess I’ll go,” James said after no one offered to go first. “I’m Quidditch Captain – again – and I’m Head Boy.”

“Hey!” We all turned to look at Lily. “You forgot something!”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Fine, then I’ll go next,” she said. “I’m Head Girl and I have a new boyfriend!” She was practically squealing by the time she finished talking.

“Who is he?” Melody asked. Lily looked at each and every one of us and then, finally, she meet James' eyes. She was smiling at him. That was when I saw it.

Their fingers were interlaced.

“OH MY FUCKING CHIHUAHUA’S!” Everyone turned to me, surprised. “JAMES IS LILY’S NEW BOYFRIEND!”

The compartment door slid open to reveal Nikki Chims and Dimitrya Belikov, two of James’ groupies.

“If that’s true,” said Nikki, a sixth year Hufflepuff. “Then Lily will start snogging him right here, right now!” Her tone daring Lily to do it.

To her astonishment, Lily smirked and said, “Okay.” She proceeded to straddle James, and started kissing him. The two girls gasped and ran away, crying. They would no doubt spread the news and start a riot, just like the last time James got himself a girlfriend ... I still shudder thinking about how they almost burned down the Great Hall.

I cleared my throat, as Lily and James were still kissing. But when they pulled apart, a few moments later, it wasn’t because of me. We had stopped, in the middle of nowhere with the rain pouring outside. The lights went dead and an abrupt silence fell.

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