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There was a huge forest just behind my house, with so many trees that from a distance it looked like a wall of bark. I use to go in it all the time when I was younger. I never went very far from fear of getting lost, but today I didn’t care where I was headed.

As soon as I saw the thousands of trees I kicked off of the rain-muddy ground. I began to fly as fast as my broom would allow my. The rain felt like daggers on my face but I ignored it as I entered the forest. I wove through it expertly. I wove between trunks, branches and leaves. Up, down, left, right…

I had to concentrate so hard on not fitting a tree and dying that every thought was banished from my mind. All I could think about was how far from that tree am I? Will the back of my broom hit it if I swerve? Is that branch going to slap me in the face?

I flew for hours, I was sure about it. The only thing that penetrated my intense concentration was the nagging hunger in my stomach. I jerked my broom around into the opposite direction that I believed was where my house was.

It took a good amount of time to finally find my way home. I cleared the tree, and landed at a run. I ran up onto my porch and then pushed through the door. I slowed to kick off my muddy shows as I entered my house. I moved quickly not wanting to have time to think, and ran up the stairs and hopped in the shower. I focused on scrubbing every inch of my body, properly conditioning my hair, and shaving my legs the muggle way without cutting myself accidentally.

I shut off the water, and then concentrated more than needed on what I was going to wear. When I was ready, I hurried down the stairs and into the kitchen. My dad was standing beside the stove with his wand out charming the pots to make our dinner.

“Hey, Ads.” He said looking up at me and smiling. My dad had dark brown hair that was long and floppy. He always smiled and was always there to say what you needed to hear to keep you going. Carina and him looked a lot alike. He had caring chocolate brown eyes, and pretty tanned skin. “Dinner will be ready, in… about 15 minutes.”

“When did you get back?” I asked him, curious. I hadn’t seen him and mum come home. Then again, I was in the forest flying at dangerous speeds.

“About an hour ago. Your mum’s working upstairs. “Rin is with Jonathan, but should be home shortly.” I nodded. That’s all he said before turning back and monitoring the cooking. Even with magic, he was horrible at cooking. Mum (being a muggle) didn’t have magic to use, and she was still better.

I tapped my fingers on the table, and they slowed as I remembered the many times Remus and I had sat here together in the early morning eating ice cream and how ---

I snapped my memories off, and was walking into the living room briskly looking for something to do. Then, I spotted it.

The piano. It was a beautiful baby grand. I hurried over to and sat on the bench pushing its lid back. I hadn’t played it in a long time. I lightly ran my fingers over the keys before pushing the middle C closing my eyes and enjoying it joyous tinkling sound. I had been playing ever since I was little, my mum had taught me, then I surpassed what she knew and I taught myself. I had always loved how it sounded.

Eyes still closed I began to play out a simple rhythm loving the clear sound of the keys. My simple song began to evolve into something slower yet more complicated. I started to think of Remus and Sirius and what had happened, but surprisingly it didn’t hurt. It didn’t hurt as I played out my emotions on the piano. I was pounding on them swaying with the rhythm. The complicated patterns flying by before I could register what I, myself, was even playing.

A feeling of relief filled me as I played more and more, my song building. Then it transformed as I thought of the hurt I had seen in Remus’ eyes. I heard a stair creak behind me, and I stopped, the relief vanishing.

I turned quickly. My mum was standing on the staircase smiling at me, her blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail, her blue eyes sparkling.

“Don’t stop.” She said quietly. “You haven’t played in so long. Please keep playing.” And I did. I kept playing. I didn’t know for how long, but I played as long as my fingers allowed, loving the feeling of relief that filled me. Later I wondered what happened to eating, but as I sat there playing I thought of my problems and in that moment they didn’t hurt.

***

Eventually I stopped playing, my hands were cramping up, and my dad finally said that if we didn’t eat then the food would be ice cubes. I had played so long, the Carina had come home and she joined us for dinner. I didn’t have to worry about thinking about my life since my family talked so much.

I was clearing the table when there was a knock on the door. Carina skipped over and answered it. I didn’t hear who it was over the running water of the sink as I charmed it to clean the dishes.

“Addy?” Carina said popping her head around the corner. “Someone here to see you.” It was probably Marlene. I needed to talk to her.

I hurried into the living room ready to cry on her shoulder and to tell her everything, but instead I saw Sirius standing, looking awkward. My heart thudded and my stomach knotted painfully.

“Addison?” He said, as I stood there frozen to the spot my eyes wide. So many emotions filled me. Every memory I had of last night popping into my mind, every pain I had felt this morning hit me like they had just happened. “Addison, are you okay?”

I paused before almost whispering, “No.” His face looked pained as I said the word, he had obviously been hoping for a different answer. He hesitantly took a step towards me; afraid I would run.

“Let talk, okay?” He said gently. I still didn’t move. “It stopped raining, and it’s contently warm out. Do you want to go on the porch?” He took another step.

“I don’t want to talk.” I said. My mind wasn’t even made up on the fact, but it was slowly coming around. “I just want to forget it.”

“Please.” His eyes looked pleading, and he was now standing in front of me and he reached out and gently touched my arm. I winced at his touch and moved away. It hurt… “Just give me a minute.”

“No.”

“30 seconds?” I heard my parents talking upstairs, and that made it okay to say what I was about it.

“What are you going to say to me that could possibly make me feel better, Sirius? I got drunk, and lost to my virginity to some guy who I don’t love, and I barely remember a thing.” He looked stunned.

“You… you were a… virgin?” I finally looked him in the eye. “Didn’t you a Remus…?”

“No, we didn’t.” I said pointedly. “I was waiting.”

“For marriage?”

“Does it matter?” I said getting annoyed.

“I’m really sorry, Addison. I didn’t know…”

“And what if you had, would that have changed things?”

“I… I don’t know. I just… I don’t know.”

“Please leave.” I said quietly. I didn’t want him to make me remember all of this. It hurt to look at him.

“Addison.” He said in a pained voice taking my hand in his, and I tugged it away.

“Please?” I looked up at him, and felt a tear drip down my cheek. He lifted his hand to wipe it away, but then dropped it thinking otherwise. He turned a left. I stood there staring after him, trying to erase the memories.

When I was in my room I pulled a piece parchment, and quickly began to write on it.

Marlene,
    Please come over tomorrow. I need you, I’m falling apart. I did something stupid. Tomorrow in the morning. Please.
--- Addy

---

A/N: I promise it will get less depressing! Soon, too =) . I have trusted author status, so I will be updating fairly quickly. Please review. I would like to hear you thoughts! Like? Hate? Love?

They're going to be heading for Hogwarts soon! Yay!

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