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gorgeous c.i. by niika@tda

A week since the Pineapples Of Mass Destruction incident, and Albus still refused to talk to me.

I mean it may have had to do with the fact that I turned his best mate into a rodent.

Just maybe though.

Either way, he needs to get over himself because sitting by myself in classes was not at all amusing. It actually had me contemplating shanking myself with a book. Or at least testing if it was possible. I reckoned I could, some of the corners were pretty damn sharp.

I sluggishly dragged my things across the table and shoved them in my bag.

"Nik? Nikki!"

I looked up to see James the Giant waving at me from the door. Seriously, that boy is like 6'4" to my 5'4". Stupid tall people.

"Nik! Hurry, come on!" he yelled.

I rolled my eyes and slung my bag over my shoulder.

"What's the brilliant idea this time?" I asked sarcastically.

"Brilliant is an understatement." he replied with a disturbingly self-satisfied smile. “So I was talking to Colin-"

"Colin FINNIGAN?" I interrupted.

"Well yeah," he said in confusion, "Isn't he the only Colin in this school?"

"Not a chance, but continue," I sighed.

James talking to Colin was never good. Things tended to blow up in their faces when they made plans. And I mean that quite literally.

Colin seems to have taken after his father Seamus, well according to Harry and Ron anyway. That's Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley to those who aren't on the inside. Yes I have powerful friends. FEAR ME. Umm...yeah.

"Alright, I really can't talk about it in the wide open, so come on," he said hurriedly as he opened a door and shoved me into what I had thought was a dark room.

Yeah, it wasn't a dark room.

It was a dark broom closet.

And just when I thought the situation couldn't get any more awkward, it most definitely did.

He rushed into the closet behind me, knocking me into Merlin knows what, which in turn ended up with me on the floor.

"Nik! Are you okay?" He asked worriedly. Idiot. He better be worried.

"Oh yeah, I'm just fine. Cause, you know, I get shoved in pitch-back miniature broom closets and trip over unknown objects all the time."

Which I so don't. I happen to have amazing balance, thank you very much.

"Don't move, I'll find you."

"Potter, I don't think I can move. Could you have picked a smaller closet?"

"Oh well sorry,” he snapped, dragging the word out, “It was the first one I saw."



"That's not my hand."

"Bloody hell, sorry," he apologized as he finally found my hand and pulled me up.

"You know, if you wanted to fondle me so much, Potter," I said as I brushed off my skirt, "You could've just asked."


"No, not really!" I scolded as I slapped him on what I thought was his arm.

"Ouch. Back to business then," he said as he tried to shuffle around me.

If you didn't already know, shuffling in a really, really tiny closet doesn't work quite as well as it should when there's two people in it.

"Ow, ow, bloody OW!" I screamed as I hopped in place as clutched my boob.

"Did I hurt your arm?"

"No, Potter! You just elbowed me in the tit! That's twice now you've attempted to feel me up in under five minutes!"

"I'm not trying to feel you up! I'm trying to move out of your way!"

"Great job with that one," I growled as I held my arms around myself to protect my poor bosom from any more abuse.

"Can we discuss my plan now?"

"Depends. Are you going to try and physically assault me again?"

He sniffed, ‘You’re impossible. So, I was talking to Colin, yeah, and somehow the conversation was brought to the fact that McGonagall’s Animagus form is a cat-‘

"I don't like where this is going, James." I interuppted

"Just shush for a second! So Colin said to me, ‘Wouldn't it be hilarious if she kept a male cat in her office with her? I mean, cats go into heat quite often, right?' And I thought, wow, that's quite an ingenious idea. And then I came to you."

"As ingenious as you think it is, do you even realize how disturbing of a mental picture you just put in my head?"


"You are too thick for your own good, James," I sighed.

I've had that mental picture flash in my head at least once a day since then. 

It really is grotesque.

"So what do you think?"

"I just told you. It's disturbing."

"Come on, I need help. You know Colin won't get everything right."

"Colin won’t get anything right!” I exclaimed, before realising, “Wait…Colin's in on this too?"

"Well…yeah, he sparked the beautiful prank after all."

"James, this is not a good idea. In fact, it’s just plain bad."

"Come on! How many detentions have I served with you just because you didn't want to be bored!"

"I didn't force you."

"LIES! I can think of numerous times you threatened my manhood!"

Damn it. 

"Fine, I'll do it," I huffed.

"Thank you Nikki!" he squealed.

Yes. James Potter squealed. Like a schoolgirl. A normal schoolgirl anyway, not a Nikki Scott. He does it quite regularly, believe it or not. Quite amusing actually.

I think he was attempting to hug me. Now, as previously stated, James is a tall boy, so to hug me he obviously has to lean down, since I'm a little munchkin next to him.

Hugging did not happen. At all.

As he leaned down and started to wrap his arms around my shoulders, I tripped over some godforsaken thing and crashed into him. This in turn caused him to trip over something, which lead to me leaning on him, while he leaned on the wall, and- here's the worst part- my lips accidentally collided with his for like, two seconds.

Don't look at me like that, I swear it was a bloody accident. Really.

"Um, Nik?"

"What?" I replied roughly as I shoved myself off the wall.

"Why did you just kiss me?"

"I didn't do it on purpose, you arse! Don't ever shove me in a broom closet again!" I screamed as I stormed out and slammed the door behind me.

Yeah, sulking and I, we don't fit well together. I was so peeved at him for insinuating I had kissed him on purpose that I was doing laps on the Quidditch pitching

Not on my broom either. Like, actually running laps.

And it is not my fault that I didn't know that the Slytherin brat who still refused to talk to me had scheduled practice for his team.

"What the hell, Nikole?!" He yelled, "What are you doing?!"

 Stupid Potters. I'm changing my name, I swear.

"What in Merlin's name does it bloody look like I'm doing, you tosser?!" I yelled back.

"I booked practice!"

"Then bloody practice!" I screamed, stopping mid jog.

"Get out!"

"In case you didn't notice, Potter," I growled as I threw my arms in the air, "This is Quidditch, not Football! You're going to be in the bloody air! What does it matter if I'm running down here? On the ground!"

"I don't need you spying on our maneuvers and telling my stupid brother!" He sneered as he threw his broom to the ground and walked grumpily over to me.

"The last thing I want to do is spy on Slytherins who don't talk to me because of a stupid little prank."

"TWO pranks, if I remember correctly. You managed- Merlin only knows how- to turn my best mate into a gerbil!"

"First off, it was a damn lemming, alright? Not a freaking gerbil. And secondly, he bloody deserved it! You weren't sitting at our table when he was. Because, you know, you won't talk to us! Because of pineapples! Grow the hell up!"

"He didn't look like a fruit to me! He looked like an oversize rodent!"

"Oh. My. God. Why is it you Potters can't hear? LEMM-ING. LEMMING. NOT BLOODY LEMON."

"Oh. Yeah well, you still had no excuse!"

"Whatever. I give up on you Al. You’ll work it out sooner or later. Have fun with practice," I heaved as I walked away, "Oh, and just so you know, it's going to rain in about ten minutes!"

Yes, I happened to be very attuned to weather changes. It's another talent.

And guess what? Nine minutes and thirteen seconds later, it started pouring. Yes I counted. I wanted to savour what small victories I could.

"Where on earth have you been?" James snapped as he ran up to me and shook me violently by my shoulders.

"I don't remember, seeing as you’ve just rattled my brain around so much I now have a concussion," I replied as I steadied myself on the back of the couch, "I'm not a bloody maraca."

"Wouldn't that be awesome if you were!" He burst out excitably

Sometimes I could swear to God he wasn’t a day older than five.

"Wh... are... I... you," I sputtered as my brow furrowed, "Never mind. I forgot you have moronic tendencies. Yes, James, it would be superbly awesome if I was a maraca," I drawled with a roll of my eyes.

"Then I could be like..."

And James Potter proceeded to dance around like a drunken hobo shaking his "invisible" maracas in the air. 

I couldn't help but laugh at him.

He may be a moronic dork, but he's my moronic dork.

Not like I'm being possessive or anything. I'm just saying! No one else really gets his sense of humor.

Yeah, that's what’s what it is.

"James, how is it you can manage to piss me off incredibly, and then completely cheer me up not even an hour later?" I chuckled as I plopped on the couch.

"Because, I'm James bloody Potter. Now move your fat arse over," he said triumphantly as he sat next to me and threw his arm over the back of the couch.

"Oh yeah, alright. If my arse is fat then you're not a virg-"

 "Shhh! Shut up! You weren't supposed to talk about that!" he whispered, wide-eyed as he put his hand over my mouth. 

Yes. Swoon-worthy, Big Man on Campus, James Potter- the one with all the girls following him everywhere- is indeed a virgin.

"Hey at least you held out longer than Alb-"

"SHUSH! MY GOD! What if Lily hears you? She's fourteen! She'll run right to Mum and Dad and tell them! Do you want to get him murdered? Do you?"

'Hmm…That doesn't sound half-bad right about now,' I thought to myself.

"No, Nikki."


"You've got the 'That Sounds Like a Great Idea' look. Don't do it. He may be acting like a git, but that's because, well, he is one."

"Fine, I won't say anything… Again," I huffed.

"That's my girl." he grinned as he awkwardly squeezed my shoulders with his one arm, "Oh, and after dinner."

"What?" I asked with a puzzled look.

"After. Dinner."

"OH! Right. Damn. I forgot you recruited my services."

"So, um, about the little closet incid-"

"No James," I stopped him as I held a hand in his face, "I do not want to talk about it. In fact, I'm going to pretend like you never even shoved me in there. So drop it."

"Fine.” he shrugged somewhat glumly.

I was waiting for James and Colin outside of the Transfiguration classroom. Behind some dusty old curtain to be exact.

Yes, I know Minnie is Headmaster, but James happened to get the scoop that she had a couple of Slytherins in detention tonight, which meant that she would be in her classroom.

"Nik!" I heard James whisper loudly, "Where are you?"

"Behind this God-awful tapestry," I whispered back as I snuck out from behind it.

"Nice hiding place," he commented.

"Heya Nikki. Great idea, eh?" Came a voice filled with boyish enthusiasm.

"No, Colin. No it is not. You and your empty Irish brain just thinks it is. Oh and James does too for some reason which remains hitherto unbeknownst to me.” 

He looked confused. Ha! My killer vocabulary beats empty Irish brain!

People get put in Gryffindor because they're brave, courageous, blah blah blah. We were brave alright. We were about to partially open Hell, and James and Colin didn't appear to have the smallest qualms about it.

 I very slowly looked down to see a cat carrier in each of their hands.

"Whoa whoa whoa, hold the phone. I thought you said one cat. Not four," I grimaced.

"Five, actually. And it was originally going to be one, but Colin here is a smart one," James chuckled quietly as Colin grinned proudly.

"No, Colin is a bloody idiot- no offense, Colin."

His proud grin disappeared at my not-so-subtle swipe at his intelligence level.

"Just get the door, on 1....2.... NOW!" 

Many things happened at once. I yanked the door open. The cats flew into the classroom. Minnie jumped out of her seat and rushed to the door faster than we could realize.


We all turned as slow as possible to see a bright red McGonagall.

"Mr. Finnigan, Mr. Potter, Miss Scott. I should have known. A week's detention for all of you, starting at Eight P.M. every night."

"Bugger," Colin muttered.

I should have stayed behind the tapestry.

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