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Sorry it's been so long! I've just been very...out of it. And I know it's been three months but at least you got it at all, right? Well, that's the way I like to think of it, anyways. Anywhoodle, I'll let you get to the good part: the actual story. Please review whether you liked it or not! (Constructive criticism is fabulous.)

It was time.

It was the night of Halloween, and the Murders would be pranking like they’ve never pranked before.

Or, at least, they WOULD be, if they could just get that damn spell to work already. The Marauders were all sitting in the abandoned Gryffindor common room, with the Halloween feast already half way over. “What. the. hell?” Sirius questioned rhetorically for the seventeenth time, as Remus waved his wand with nothing but a few feeble sparks coming out.

“You’re not trying hard enough.” Was James’s verdict, glaring violently at Remus, although anyone could tell from the plethora of wrinkles that were appearing on his forehead that he was trying, very, very hard.

Johnny, an innocent first year that the Marauders had employed to fulfill their every need, assumed that James’s glare was aimed at him, as he was standing just behind Remus, squealed violently and hid behind one of the threadbare scarlet and gold couches.

“Let’s see YOU try it, then.” Remus shrieked frustratedly, throwing his wand over his shoulder in disgust. Johnny quickly ran to retrieve it, as it gave him a chance to shield himself from James’ glare. A moment later, Remus was throwing the small lilac ball he had been working on over to James with Quidditch precision.

“You should be a chaser, man.” Sirius admired Remus’ aim; he opened his mouth as if to say something else, but quickly shut it when he caught sight of Remus and James’ glares.

James looked away from Sirius and down at the hideously girly lilac ball. He tapped it once before throwing it much further than Remus had his wand - it was more aerodynamic AND James was a true chaser - in the direction of the girls’ staircase. Johnny barely managed to get his chubby legs over there in time to catch it before it fell. “I can’t do it NOW, I’m too busy thinking about Lily!” Was James’ only defense, which all the other Marauders classified as ‘extremely weak.’

“Girls, girls,” Sirius laughed, but he was the only one, “There’s no need to start a cat fight now.” James and Remus shot a look at him in shocking unison and all was quiet for a moment.

But only for a moment because something that perfect could ever last very long, at least not in THIS castle. The tapestry shook a bit, before issuing an almost silent, but easy to hear in the silence, “Rawr.”

For a moment no one took their eyes off Sirius (Sirius himself was fixing his mirror in the back of the lucky spoon he always kept in his pocket: Lily had charmed it so his reflection was right side up, but he never seemed to look as good as usual in the spoon) but when Sirius’ own attention was diverted from the spoon (A hard feat, let me tell you) he glanced over at the curtain. “Hold on...” He watched it for a second longer; the tapestry jiggled.

“Th-th-that curtain d-doesn’t talk, d-does it?” Johnny questioned nervously, his eyes flitting back and forth between the three Marauders. “R-right gu-guys?” He seemed to be taking a cue from Quirrell and it was, unfortunately, suiting him rather well.

“Hell no.” James was distracted from his glaring at Sirius, and he turned to the giggling tapestry.

“M-Mikey, is that y-you?” Johnny turned to the tapestry with a freakishly knowing smile on his face. “Mikey!” He whined when the tapestry didn’t say anything.

“No!” A high-pitched but oddly masculine voice shrieked. James crossed his fingers and hoped that it was a girl.

“Mikey!” Johnny squealed. “Mikey, come out.” He begged his little ‘friend’. James added his hope that the two boys weren’t more than friends to his wish list.

“Joh-nee!” Mikey complained with a loud sigh. “There you go again, giving me away.” Unfortunately for James, it didn’t look like any of his wishes came true: Mikey was definitely a guy, and his voice was certainly that high. Oh, the horror.

“They’re my friends, Mikey.” Johnny informed the puny first year. The Marauders exchanged worried glances: they can’t have this going around, maybe they need a new ‘help elf’. “I can’t just let you get away with things like that. Besides, mommy said...”

Sirius really didn’t want to know what ‘mommy said,’ so he decided it was time to calm this down. “Boys, boys.” He looked at the two of them, both of their cheeks bright red. “Let’s save the love fest for later, okay?”

“Okay, sir.” They both replied at the same time, in a way that could rival James and Remus’s ability. They didn’t seem to notice that it wasn’t a compliment.

“Where’s the da...darn ball?” Remus demanded rather awkwardly, determined to set a good enough example for the rest of the Marauders. “Dinner is...” He checked the clock up on the wall. “Going to be over in fifteen minutes. And it’s not like you bothered to come up with a backup plan.” He glared at James. They seemed to be doing a lot of that lately, and it was kind of funny how they hadn’t noticed that it wasn’t doing them any favors.

“Over there.” Sirius pointed around the room before collapsing on the threadbare carpet. He picked at the corse threads that were irritating his sensitive skin. “No wonder we’re getting this remodeled.” He muttered darkly, worrying about his skin breaking out in a rash. Not to mention all the worry lines he was going to get from this ‘epic prank.’

Which, as it is turning out, is bullshit.

Because if they keep working as sweetly as they are now, it doesn’t look like anything is going to be going down tonight, unless the Slytherins have some things of their own planned out. Not that they’re, you know, smart enough for anything like that.

The quiet moment lasted for a while - ‘silence is golden’ after all, but there’s scarlet in the Gryffindor colors for a reason - before Remus broke it in frustration. “Don’t we have a cheesing plan BEE?!?” He questioned the all knowing spirits of the Gryffindor ceiling.

“Cheesing?” Sirius couldn’t stand the gloomy atmosphere this room kept returning to, and he was eager to get on his friend’s case if it meant breaking the montonity. “Really now? Don’t you mean something more like...f-”

Remus slapped his hand over his fellow Marauder’s mouth. “We’re censoring. For the children, okay?” He gestured to some fourth dimension where he was sure that little, innocent, pure kids were watching him right that very minute, gobbling up his every word. Because everyone knows that that sounds completely sane.

“Of course.” James figured it would be better to agree because anything else would just delay the making of plan B even more. “But we need to get down to business, now.” Sirius heard the tone of James’ voice, and to make the whole situation a little less, well, sirius he flicked his wand and turned all of the Maraurder’s clothing into muggle business suits.

James and Remus looked down at their clothing - suddenly they had felt a lot stiffer - and instead of freaking out (Well, Remus did...) like a two year old who had just gotten their lollypops taken away, a broad grin came across James’s face, and he opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. “Oops,” Sirius giggled. (According to Witch Weekly, manly giggles were indearing and manly) “It’s a common side effect, here you go,” he flicked his wand again and a stream of un-appropriate-for-the-children (According to Remus, anyways) words came flowing out of James’s mouth.

When he realized he could speak again, they abruptly stopped, like a television on mute. (Yes, they were finally catching on in the wizarding world) “That’s it!” He finally screeched, a moment later. “It’s perfect!”

“What’s perfect?” Mikey and Johnny said at the same time, mid cat fight.

“McGonagall's hair? It is, isn’t it?” Mikey added on, smiling gaily.

“Snape’s shampoo? It’s pretty perfect, huh?” Johnny said at the same time, perfectly sincere. Then his eyes unfocused, and he went into a daze, either from the thought of - *shutter* - Snape’s hair - or because of the effects of whatever spell Remus had nonverbally cast at him in horror of the very statement.

“Hell, no.” James didn’t even seem to have heard the two first years. “That spell!” Here he went into a daze similar to Johnny’s, but he came out of it approximently 28 and a half seconds later (Sirius had gotten a clock to display itself on the soon-to-be-gone-thanks-to-remodeling-wall) with an explanation. “We could just, you know, switch all their clothing to the new line of garters, thongs, and backless bras, bustiers, and teddies from Minerva’s Secret! It would be perfect...” He started to drool a bit from the idea of Lily in his choice of clothes (Or, that is, the lack of them).

(Two notes: It’s a good thing James had connected the name of his favorite lingerie store to the name of one of his err, well, elder teachers, or he might have a considerably harder time sleeping at night. And if he’s very lucky, he’ll never be smart enough to find out how Minerva McGonagall spent her younger years. Number two: it’s rather disturbing that James seems to be a bit better versed in the content of the Minerva’s Secret than Sirius is. Because when Sirius’ status is challenged, well, the privateness of all of Hogwart’s female student’s ‘private parts’ is definitely in danger. Especially when Colin Creevy is hanging around)

“Um...No.” Remus rolled his eyes at James, who’s drooling was now going full force. And it used to be only during the night time... Oh well.

“Do you have a better idea?” Sirius challenged, thinking off that curvy Hufflepuff he had seen the other day. Remus looked like he was thinking hard, but he never had a chance to reply because, just then, a loud explosion came from outside the Gryffindor common room.

“It’s coming from the Great Hall.” Remus said in his typical physic way (That we most definitely not ‘seeing’ because all that shit was just over rated). That was when he led the other two (Plus those two first years, Johnny and Mikey) down to the Great Hall in a game of follow the leader.

“Does he have to be so melodramatic?” Sirius whispered to James as he followed Remus out. Remus, of course, had heard, but he didn’t say anything on account of surprise: Sirius had just used the word ‘melodramtic’.

“Well, duh.” James whispered back. “He’s Moony.”

Author's Note: I hope it wasn't too cheesy, overrated, not-worth-the-wait, unclimatic, and short. Okay, well, I know that it was all those things, but I'd like to think that I'm just being modest. Even though I'm not, because Alice is the one for modesty, and I'm the one for shoving it in your face, just-read-it. Anyhow, I haven't forgotten about you guys, not at all! Even though it has been a very long three months, I'm sure, without your Time Flies fix [: Or so I like to think...But now I'm just rambling and I'm sure it's not very interesting...and yet I keep doing it anyways. Oh, well, you should just leave a review and I'll be happy and keep the threats (Like the one where I warn you that I'll set my over-loving obsessive-liking and nose-rubbing cat on you, or the one where I threaten that I'll steal anything with sugar in it [Unless your on a diet, of course, then I'll give you other people's sugar] from your kitchens) to a minimum. So please review!

- Bells.


Mikey and Johnny are based off my neighbors. They're a horror :)

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