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Chapter 5
An Unintentional Escape Route

“Who else? Sirius Black!”

My jaw drops and I hear a gasp.

“WHAT?” I hear Sirius shout.

“Don’t deny it. I heard about the whole thing.”

I know this is completely horrible and everything, but I am amazed. I was just handed the best escape ever. This could work.

“You’re right, James,” I hear myself say. Did I really just say that? Could this work? Could I just maybe be the dumbest redhead in the history of the universe?

Sirius spins me around and stares me down- which is highly intimidating, I might add. In a strained voice, he says, “Lily? Could I talk to you for a minute, please?”

I follow him away from the others.

“What do you think you are doing Lily?” Sirius says angrily.

“Admitting my true feelings?” I say, as more of a question than an answer.

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. I may be a bloke, but I know that you are completely in love with James.”

Maybe Sirius is less oblivious than I originally thought. It’s definitely possible.

“You’re right.” I’m not even going to deny it, when I know it’s true. “That is why I’m begging you to do this for me.”

Sirius thinks for a second (which is very unlike him).

“Okay,” he says finally. “I’ll do this. But I have a limit to how far I’ll go. And I’m only doing this because I love you. If it was anyone else…”

“Thank you!” I say. I hug him, and he returns it gingerly.

“Let’s do this.” Sirius looks fierce. He slips his hand into mine- which feels really weird- and we walk back over to the rest of them.

“Look James,” He begins, “You can’t blame Lils for it. I begged her not to tell you because I didn’t want there to be any weirdness in our dynamic, and I didn’t want you to have to be involved. Lily wanted to tell you, she really did, but I thought it would be better if you didn’t know. That was stupid and wrong, and I’m sorry, mate. I really am.”

James pauses  for a second. He’s not going to believe this, this was a stupid idea. It’s not going to work.

“It’s okay, mate,” James says. “Nobody can control who they like. I’ll just leave you all, so you can have some time alone.”

He turns and walks off towards the boys' dormitory.

“Lily!” Gretchen says. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

I look at Sirius desperately.

“It’s just like I told James, we wanted to keep it a secret because we didn’t think that people would accept it.” That boy must love me if he’s willing to go through all this trouble so James doesn’t know that I am in love with him.

“So, Lilybell,” He says, “Would you like to go for a walk around the grounds before it’s time for Herbology?”

The look he’s giving me tells me that I should probably accept this.

“Sure.” That boy can be intimidating when he wants to be.

We say goodbye to the others and leave the common room.

Sirius doesn’t say anything until we get to the grounds and start walking around the lake.

“So how are you going to get yourself out of this mess, Lil?”

I close my eyes. “I have no idea. I just know that James can’t find out about this.”

“What are you trying to do, make him jealous by using his best friend?” He raises an eyebrow.

“Actually, I thought that the person who told that to James thought that I liked James. Turns out he thinks I like you, so that was an easy way out of that little mess.”

“Except now you’ve gotten yourself into the mess of letting the guy you’re in love with think that you are in love with his best friend and dating him. That can’t end well.”

“Sure it can,” I argue, “James doesn’t have to know that we aren’t really. In due time, we’ll ‘break up’, and James will be happy because he’ll have been a jealous mess because I’m dating you.”

Sirius looks at me. “And you really think that is going to work?”

I nod eagerly.

He sighs. “All right then, let’s talk about the limits of this relationship. I will hug you, hold your hand, maybe the occasional flirting, but I refuse to kiss you. I’m sorry, that is sick.”

“What?” I say innocently. “You don’t think I’m kissable?”

“Maybe to other people, but Lil to me you’re the sister that I never had. I love you and everything, but dating you? I’m sorry, but that just won’t work for me.”

“Fine,” I say, faking exasperation. “We won’t kiss, even though I totally know that you want to.”

Sirius rolls his eyes. “Lily, I hope this works out, but if it doesn’t, I’m hiring you a shrink or taking you to the mental ward at St. Mungo’s.”

“I…” I start, but then close my mouth. “Okay, deal.”

By this time, we’re making the final turn around the lake. And then Josh Peters decides to walk up.

“Hey guys,” he says cheerfully, with a smirk on his face.

“Why you smug little bastard I’d like to…” Sirius steps forward but I pull him back.

“Sirius, no. Actually, Josh here is what brought us together,” I say, giving him a look.

He understands. “Oh really? In that case, thanks mate.”

“Yeah,” I say, putting my hand on his chest and laughing girlishly. “Now if you don’t mind, Sirius and I are off to go do some things.” I wink at Josh, and his jaw drops. Mission accomplished.

“Yeah, see you later mate.” We link hands and walk around him. As soon as he’s out of earshot, Sirius says, “You know, I just might have some fun with this.”

“Oh, I know I’m going to have some fun with this,” I say, laughing. “Did you see the look on his poor smug little face? Hilarious!”

“I know!” Sirius is also laughing hysterically. “Only two things can come of this, I’m killed by James when he finds out, or I die of laughing too hard.”

We laugh for a bit more as we walk back to the common room. It’s kind of pointless, seeing as we’ll just be walking right back down for Herbology, but I don’t feel like staying to chat with Josh Peters.

As we walk back to the common room, hand in hand, a silence falls down upon the halls of Hogwarts. I hear hushed whispers.

“I knew that was going to happen eventually,” I hear Vivian Matthews mutter to her best friend, Sandy Adams.

“I thought it would have been Lily and James!” Her friend whispers back.

Do they think we can’t hear them? If they do, they need some serious help and perhaps a hearing charm too.

We arrive back at the common room through the Fat Lady (“Ooo, are you two dating? Let me tell you a story….”) and sit down on the couches where everyone else is sitting. I naturally take my place next to James, and Sirius falls into his seat next to Remus.

James stands up. “Wouldn’t you much rather sit next to your boyfriend?” He sneers. He seems mad.

“James, of course not, you’re my best friend.”

He either needs a hearing charm too or is choosing to ignore that. He stand in front of Sirius, who awkwardly gets up and collapses next to me in the loveseat. He whispers “Just play along,” in my ear.

This could get weird.

James’ POV

I can’t believe this is happening.

Lily? Sirius? My two best friends? DATING? Holy Merlin, what is going on? Is the Earth falling apart? Is today April Fool’s Day?

First I need to figure out what is going on. I’m pretty sure Josh Peters told me Lily was in love with Sirius. I’m pretty sure Lily and Sirius admitted they were dating secretly. I’m pretty sure I just watched Sirius and Lily walk out of the common room hand in hand. I’m pretty sure Lily just hit his chest playfully.

I can’t understand this. First of all, I don’t understand why Lily would like Sirius, secondly, I don’t know why Josh Peters would know before me, and finally, and perhaps most importantly, I don’t know why it is bothering me so much.

I don’t like Lily. Well, I mean, of course I love Lily, and of course I’d do anything for her, but I’m not IN love with her. Well, I thought so…..

Back when I was young and stupid, I asked Lily out several times. A day. And I thought I got over her after she came in that day in July, but what else could explain why it is bothering me so much that Lily and Sirius are going out?

It must be brotherly protectiveness that is making me have these feelings. I care a lot about Lily’s safety, and of course I’d worry about if the guy she’s dating is right for her or not. Although I thought that Sirius had felt the same way. Turns out he just wanted that boyfriend to be him. Jeez, you think you know a guy.

Although I guess I’m not a saint either. I liked Lily a little bit too much in that string bikini last summer…..

No James. Stop it. You don’t like Lily. You are concerned for her safety. I slap my face.

“Come on Potter, snap out of it,” I mutter to myself. “Pull yourself together.”

The portrait hole opens and Lily and Sirius come in laughing, holding hands. Great, they already have an inside joke. I’m going to become a third wheel, and it’s going to suck.

Sirius and Lily walk in. Lily flops down on our loveseat, and I stand, and blurt “Wouldn’t you rather sit next to your boyfriend?”

I hope I don’t look as stupid as I feel.

“James, of course not. You’re my best friend.”

Good to hear. I think it would be best if I don’t respond to that, though. I walk over to Sirius and motion to the seat I was sitting in. He walks over and sits down. Sirius whispers in her ear. This could definitely get weird.

“So James,” Lily giggled, “what’s going on?”

“Not much,” I reply coolly, “just hanging, you know, the usual.”

Lily nods. “James, I had an idea. I thought it would be fun if we had a surprise Hogsmeade trip tomorrow. So, you know,” She looks at Sirius girlishly and I feel like I might puke, “Sirius and I can hang out and stuff.”

I sort of want to know what the stuff is, and sort of don’t. In the end, my head decides I don’t, and I retort “There’s no way we’ll be able to get McGonagall to approve a trip for tomorrow.”

“I think we can,” she replies. “I’ll go ask her now. Siri, want to come with me?”

She already has a pet name for him. Isn’t that just fantastic?

Apparently he thinks so, because he gives her a cheeky grin. “Lil, I don’t think we have enough time before Herbology. We’ll go right after, I promise.”

“Good,” Lily replies smiling, “We need some alone time.”

She winks at him. This is sickening. How can Sirius possibly like this? Every cutesy word that she says to him makes me want to puke a little more.

“Of course...” I swallow, “You do.”

I thought nothing could be more sickening then Snape when he hadn’t taken a shower in three weeks to 'conserve water', but I was wrong.

“So we better go to Herbology,” Sirius says.

I nod, and slowly regain my composure.

“Let’s go.”

As I watch them link hands yet again, I have strange visions of me killing Sirius, me comforting Lily as she complains about what a bad boyfriend Sirius is, me kissing Lily- all right, what the hell is going on? 


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