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Same again; it belongs to JKR


Chapter 12


Remus watched Terese as she lay awkwardly on the sofa.  She couldn’t get comfortable but, true to form, wouldn’t ask for help. 


“You alright, Sweetheart?” he asked.  He was there keeping an eye on her whilst Sirius went out to get food and baby things.  She had finally agreed to let him start buying things because Sirius had pointed out that they wouldn’t want to be shopping for anything after the baby had been born.  She had refused to go with him, still too nervous to leave the house, even with him.  Remus was the only other person she would allow to sit with her.  He had agreed although it was difficult for him seeing her like this.  He was happy for her though; he knew she had wanted a baby for years and he had never been keen purely because of the risk of passing on his lycanthropy.  He wondered how he would have felt, though, if she had come home and told him she was going to have his child.  He had always said to her that it wasn’t a good idea; but somehow he thought that part of him would have been ecstatic if they had started a family.


“Yeah I’m fine.  It’s difficult getting comfortable that’s all.  I think this sofa’s smaller than the one we had at the old flat.” She replied.


“Its nothing to do with the fact you might be bigger.” He teased.


“Cheeky.  You’re as bad as Sirius.”


“Some things never change I suppose”


“Except I haven’t got James here winding me up as well.” 


“Or Lily fussing” They laughed.


“You know I wish my child could know them.  I hate the idea of raising a baby without James being around.”  She looked down at her bump, biting her lip.


“But you’ve got Harry.  And Sirius.  And me” he said the last sentence quietly.  She smiled at him weakly and held out her hand.


“I know.  And I don’t deserve to have you Remus, not after the way I treated you.”


“Forget about it sweetheart.  You don’t need to be worrying about it now.”  She looked at him, still feeling the pang of guilt although it was much more subdued these days.  If she hadn’t left Remus she wouldn’t be having Sirius’ baby.  She was pleased that he appeared to have forgiven her, as he had always been a good friend and she had missed him in the year that he had frozen her out.


“I’m scared, Remus” she said in a small, shaky voice.




“What if something happens?  Like last time?  I thought it was all going to be ok and then it all disappeared just like that.  How can I be sure that won’t happen again?  I can’t lose any more Remus.”


“Sweetheart.  You know Sirius isn’t going to let anything happen.  He’s not going to leave you on your own.  There’s no need to be scared.” 


“I can’t help it.  I keep having these visions that it’s all going to go wrong.  And the morning it all happened I remember I dreamt about my parents being killed…!”  She was beginning to get agitated.


“Terese.  Calm down.  Have you dreamt about that recently?”

“No.  But…”


“I think you’re being paranoid sweetheart.  You’re just worrying…”


“I know I’m worrying.  But can you seriously tell me that nothing can happen?”


“Have you talked to Sirius about this?”


“Not really.  He’s so excited about it and he’s got a lot to deal with.”


“If you’re that worried…”


“I think he probably knows.  He’s just trying to make sure I don’t get more worried by talking about it.  And it’s hard for him, he really misses James and I don’t want to remind him of everything.  He’s really trying to sort his head out.”


“You should talk to him.”


“And say what?”


“What you said to me.”



“How was she?” Sirius asked Remus when he arrived home.  Terese had gone upstairs to have a sleep.


“Sirius, she’s scared”


“I know.”


“She said she hadn’t told you.  She didn’t want to spoil it for you, or upset you”


“I’m doing what I can to reassure her Moony.  It’s not easy.”  Sirius sat down heavily on the sofa, abandoning all the shopping.


“I know, I just thought I should tell you what she told me.”


“She knows she could have talked to me”


“She worries about you as well, Padfoot.  She knows you’re still trying to get your head around everything.  James not being here.  Everything that was in your head in Azkaban…”


“She still could have told me” Sirius said quietly.


“Don’t blame her Sirius.”


“I’m not blaming her Moony.” He said tetchily.  “I just think it’s a fucked up situation when my wife feels she can’t talk to me about it”


“Padfoot, just be patient…”


“I don’t need you telling me how to treat my wife, Remus”


“I’m just trying to help Sirius.  But that’s fine.  Tell Terese I said goodbye.”  He grabbed his jacket and left.  Sirius sat thinking, irritated.


“Did Remus leave?” Terese was standing in the doorway, yawning.


“Yeah.  He told me what you said to him.”  She looked annoyed.


“He shouldn’t have.”


“Tess, talk to me.”


“There’s not much to say, babe.  I just keep thinking its going to happen again.  I can’t help it.  I know it’s probably irrational, so I didn’t want to worry you with it.”  He put his arms around her, and led her over to the sofa. 


“Babe.  Listen to me.  No matter what’s going on, you need to tell me about stuff like this.  And you know I’m going to make sure you’re ok.”




“I just am.  I promised James”

Ok so I guess this is the last chapter of this fic this year, though I may manage to get one of All is not Lost  up later.  I also have a companion songfic to this one, called Do You Know?

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