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A/N: In the beginning I posted what was originally some brainstorming I was using to try and figure out The Prank To End All Pranks (Some people use spider webs for brainstorming, some people use lists, and I use random babbling until it starts to make sense - hoping something will come to me as I go along. It usually does) but then it became so awesome that I couldn't bear not to share it. (I can't do something, then not get someone's opinion on it. This is where Allie comes in but we won't go there now...) And so in the beginning there is some babbling that DOES NOT affect the actual story. If you would like to read it, it's right here. If you don't, then just scroll on down to the - * - * 's. Oh, and aren't you guys proud of me for this quick update? Three days!

“Wait!” Yelled Remus, pulling the Marauders to a stop. “What the hell ARE we going to do for out Monumental-Going-Down-In-History-First-Marauder-Prank-In-The-Future?!?!?”

“Errrr....” Announced the narrator, looking extremely out of place; trying to edge slowly out of the spotlight.

No luck. Sirius had gone behind the curtain and turned the spot light on, training it apon her bright red cheeks. “Tell all, please, oh Queen of the Universe.”

‘He’s hot.’ Was all the narrator could think of, for she had never hoped to actually see her characters in person. And it was well worth it.

“WAIT-What?!?!” James asked, turning on his own narrator.

“Did I say that aloud?” The narrator asked, her cheeks going well beyond the red of a tomato, and heading towards a purple eggplant. “Damn me! STUPID CHARACTERS!”

“Anywhoodle.” Lily said, changing the subject and gesturing to the spreadsheet that the narrator had been working on. “Work now.”

“WAIT! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU COME FROM?!?!” The still unnamed narrator asked, glaring at the character that was, sadly, not hers, but JK Rowling’s. “I’m supposed to be in charge of this script!

“Not anymore.” Grinned James, getting ready to type on the narrator’s prized white MacBook.

‘Did I mention how hot Lily Evans is yet?’ He typed, still smiling maniacally, ‘She’ll give in to me, my Lilyflower shall, it’s only a matter of time.’

“No, I won’t!” Lily screamed back (While tying up the narrator so she couldn’t get away), as the words appeared on a large movie screen in the background.

‘Yes, she shall. MWAHAHAHH!’ James continued to type, ignoring Lily’s peals of agony (Combined with...was that laughter?!?)

“I love James Potter!” Lily robotically said, while James looked utterly content with himself at the controls. ‘SAY IT AGAIN!’ Ordered Lily’s conscious mind, forcing her to repeat the dreaded words.

“STOP IT!” Screamed the narrator, pulling against the bonds that Lily had wrapped around her. Stupid JK. Why’d you have to make annoying characters such as these?!?!?

“BACK TO THE POINT!” Screamed Remus back, frustrated that he was wasting all this time that he could’ve spent making out with his Hermione. “I want some answers here!

“DON’T MAKE ME BRING BACK PETER!” James threatened, only a moment away from doing so.

“God, you guys. Get a hold of yourselves.” Sirius told them, sipping a Pina Colada...

“WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT ONE?!?!” The narrator yelled at Sirius. “You’re not allowed making things appear out of thin air!”

“Yeah I am.” Smirked Sirius, gesturing to his wand. “I’m a wizard. And a damn good one at that.”

“Kudos to that one!” James smiled, smacking his Pina Colada against Sirius’s.

“Well, I was thinking...” The narrator said, stalling for time as she was just about out of the ropes Lily had tied around her (Fancy knots were not exactly his strongest skill). “Maybe, you guys could, you know...well....”

“Get to the point woman!” Malfoy told her, wand drawn as he appeared next to Ron (Whom had also had appeared out of nowhere. Or is it who?). “I don’t have all day, and I’ve been itching to hex someone.”

“Same here.” Snarled Ron, turning to Malfoy.

“Right.” The narrator said, successfully grabbing her precious (MacBook) out from under James’s nose. “I AM IN CHARGE NOW! MWAHAHAHAH!”

“BANG BANG SHOOT ‘EM UP!” She announced, trying to no avail to use the gun she had typed into her story - not remembering that muggle things like that don’t work in Hogwarts. And now there was five dangerous looking wizards watching her with manic smiles.

Okay you guys, sorry for that momentary break. Now to the real story...

- * - * - * - * - * -

“But you guys, where are we going to get the cameras? Preferably three of them with unlimited film and technicolor printing.” Lavender said, addressing her collective minions: Grace, Parvati, and Padma (Parvati had insisted that she come). They were holding their first meeting in the absolutely delightful Room of Requirement Hermione had pointed out to them two years ago. It provided amazing things whenever you needed them, such as top-secret meeting rooms, warm fires, comfortable chairs, and even more comfortable High-Wizard-sized beds. Great stuff, all in all. Except, apparently, three high-tech cameras with unlimited film and technicolor printing.

“Colin.” Padma replied promptly, but when the other two gave her strange looks, she elaborated, “ know, Harry’s personal stalker? You must have seen him sticking his camera where it doesn’t belong at SOME point.”

“Colin Creevy, of course,” Lavender agreed airily, trying to pretend that she hadn’t overlooked the boy herself, but was merely being prompted by Padma. “But why do you think that he’s just going to hand it over to us?”

“He’s probably very overprotective of it.” Grace ventured into the conversation, giggling nervously, her unusually tan cheeks hinting at red.

“Stop that.” Lavender’s eyes flashed, and she looked apon the girl strictly, going for a Professor McGonagall air. It must have worked, for Grace closed her mouth with an involuntary yelp. No nervous giggling is allowed - unless it is pushed into existence by Lavender Brown, obviously.

“I’ll get it from him.” Parvati volunteered, beaming evilly as the perfect way to get the camera from him for good, formed in her head. Parvati was about to announce it to the rest when she realized that it was Lavender’s job to do the evil grinning, and plan making, and all other queen-bee activities, therefore anyone else attempting it would be thrown out of the elite clique immediately.


The Marauders were calmly walking down to Charms, talking about the amazing bodies the girls of he future had, when Remus interrupted. “What the hell ARE we going to do for out Monumental-Going-Down-In-History-First-Marauder-Prank-In-The-Future?!?!?”

“It’s going to be bloody brilliant, just you wait.” Sirius grinned.

“While you were going off playing Romeo, we planned out the whole shebang.” James announced to Remus.

“Shebang?” Remus raised his eyebrows. He hadn’t heard that one from his OCD friend recently...apparently this wasn’t ‘only a phase’ like so many had assured him.

“Yes. Shebang.” James pouted while abandoning any hope of the three of them actually going to Charms. Instead he turned the group towards the Gryffindor tower to plot the deed in comfort, slouched in front of the Gryffindor Common Room’s fire. They had a free period after this, and lunch after that, so if they took a quick trip to the kitchens...the Marauders would be set for the next three hours. Lovely.

“So...?” Remus asked again impatiently as the trio walked past the library. “Are you two going to tell me about it or not?”

“I may just bask in your short temper for a little bit longer, if you don’t mind.” Smirked James, sparing a glance to his red-head friend.

“If you told a soul, I’m afraid I’d have to kill you.” Declared Sirius solemnly. Then he followed that up by tripping over his own feet, ending up sprawled across the floor.

“Very smooth.” James said sarcastically, looking down at his friend. Well, actually his friend was no longer there, and in his place was a barking black dog, rolling spastically around on the stone floor.

“Woof!” The oversized dog announced gleefully, jumping up on James and knocking him to the ground, covering him with slimy puppy slobber.

James rolled his eyes as he pushed the dog off. “Idiot.”

“Who me?” Asked Sirius, transforming back into a human right next to James, laughing hysterically (Yet still managing to pull off puppy-dog eyes that would cause anything in the vicinity with boobs to swoon).

Remus knew that Dumbledore would want him to say something stern and Prefect-like to the pair of them, but instead he found himself laughing just as hard as Sirius was, agreeing with James the whole time.

“Might want to watch where you’re doing that.” Madame Pince said sarcastically, towering over the three of them, watching them with stern and disapproving eyes.

“Ali?” Remus asked quietly, looking up at the hawk-like librarian. “What happened to you?”

“I grew up.” Madame Pince replied, not meeting his eyes. “Now get out, before I take points from Gryffindor.” The three boys scurried away to Gryffindor tower, still marveling over Ali’s ‘transformation’.


“I hate it here. I hate it, I hate it, I absolutely hate it here.” Lily was muttering furiously under her breath as she stamped her feet all the way to Charms. She had been doing absolutely nothing for the past week, thanks to having no friends here, while the Marauders had been having all sorts of adventures (Not even Remus had had time to spare with his lovely little infatuation with Hermione). Then that whole bit led to Hermione ignoring her as well, leaving her bored out of her mind with no one but Mrs Norris for company.

And it was a shocker Mrs Norris wasn’t dead yet, taking into consideration that she had been around back..then. When Lily was in her home time zone. Thirty years ago. With the Marauders back, death was inimitable for the poor cat, who really had it in for the four boys...even more than Lily herself did.

“Don’t hurt me now.” A red-head boy had popped up next to her, what was his name again? She knew he was a friend of Harry’s...Ron, wasn’t it? Yes, that was it.

“Hmm?” Lily asked him dazedly, looking up from the rigid pattern of stone floors she had been staring at as her thoughts wandered.

“You were talking to yourself.” Ron informed her, giving her a weird look, as though he was appraising her - deciding if he should call for Madame Pomfrey for sedates immediately or not.

“Well I have no one else to talk to.” Lily said darkly under her breath, then added in a slightly more cheerful tone, “Oops.”

“You have me.” Ron had obviously heard everything she had said, and he bumped into her playfully. Giggling a bit (It felt so good to giggle again), she bumped him back.

Which started a bit of a war. Ron bumped Lily with his hips, Lily playfully shoves him back, then Ron started to shove her a bit, then he remembered what Mrs Weasley had pummeled into his brain. Never hit a girl, she will hit you back - harder; but it was tad to late for that now, as Ron had now tripped into Lily (Mistakenly).

“Oops.” Lily repeated, giggling a little more, a red blush tingeing her cheeks. “Here,: let me help,” She reached down to help Ron up from the floor, but instead she got a bit of a surprise.

“Naah,” Ron told her, as he reached up to grab the offered hand, “I think you can just join me.” Tugging on the said hand, Lily plopped right down into his lap, laughing all the way.

Little did they know, that in the background of this light and fluffy scene one ominous figure watched them play, with a decidedly hostile looks on his face. Who knew that one jet haired boy could get so jealous? Well, Ron better be watching his back for the next few months or so. Because until Lily starts flirting with him like that, life is going to be ugly for the youngest Weasley boy.

Professor Trelawny’s dim predictions of death via hormonal boy aren’t always wrong.


“So...” James awkwardly tried to start a conversation with Harry over buttered biscuits and shepherd's pie during dinner that night, hoping his favorite food would give him a helpful boost. “Do you have a girlfriend?”

“No.’ Harry said shortly, not bothering to look at him.

“Not even a fling?” James eyes were bugging out a bit now, and if Harry would look at him long enough to notice then he would be worried about James. He didn’t, of course, so nothing stopped James from freaking out like a PMS-ridden girl.

“No.” Harry repeated.

“NO?” James shrieked, a bit loud than he had intended. No son of his should be subjected to that, that...horror. After all, James didn’t know what he would do without his ‘female company’. “I’s by choice isn’t it? Because of your N.E.W.T.s? Because you get that from Lily, right?”

“Er...” Harry said, trying to think back to the last time a girl had asked him on a date. That would probably be...the third year Hufflepuff last month? Wow. Maybe he did need a life. But between Voldemort, his obsession with Malfoy, then Ron and Hermione, there had never been enough time for girls. (Or does Harry still think sex is a little icky?)

“Well I’ve obviously got my work cut out for me, then.” James said grimly, settling his mind on the task in front of him (Instead of the graphic scenes he had been picturing with Lily). Of course, it was difficult to concentrate when a particular flaming-haired boy was sauntering past, looking very much like he was keeping a phenomenal secret from somebody. After all, James realized, his hair actually being set in flames was only a quick charm away...

“Arse.” James muttered rather loudly, sending death glares at the said innocent red-head. Scoot over, just a little, little more, scoot...there! Now James had a perfect aim at the boy, and just as he was raising his wand...

“What are you doing?” Harry asked imploringly, eyeing his father with a peculiar expression on his face.

“Practicing. Now hold on for just a moment, would you?” James told him with an annoyed air - the accursed boy was getting in the way of his spell! “Incen-”

“That’s my friend you know.” Harry interrupted a tad rudely, his ‘peculiar’ expression was now turning into a perturbed one. He was beginning to wonder if Snape’s tales of his father’s bigheadedness and ego could turn out to be partly true. Whether this even applied or not, he certainly hoped that the Potions master could be wrong this time.

“Right.” James said, not really caring anymore. Still, he resolved to hex the boy next time he got a chance - the sooner, the better. Just not have Harry or that bushy-haired girl Remus was infatuated with...what was her name? James wasn’t really sure, but Remus could be counted on to be rambling on and on about her tonight in the dormitories.

“That’s not the only thing I’ll be talking about.” Remus said, straddling the bench and sitting down next to James.

“ 'nd ‘ey nawt?” James asked, showing Remus a mouthful of chocolate cake, which he had just finished stuffing in his mouth (The house-elves had only put it on the table seconds ago). “And why not?” He repeated, swallowing the lot of it.

“Because.” Remus told him, giving him the sternest prefect look that he could muster - managing to rank somewhere in between Professors Sprout and Flitwick (He hit nowhere near McGonagall and Dumbledore). “Because you still haven’t told me the plan.”

A/N: Bum, bum, bummmm! And what exactly, is this brilliant plan? I wish I knew. So the next chapter may be slightly delayed as I try and figure something amazing out...yeah (It might be a while). If you have any brilliant ideas, of course, I'd be happy to work them in. (This is where Hewitt comes in)

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