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A/N: Here, my friends, is my very first chapter that I've written as a trusted author - I hope you guys like it (Even if I don't much)! Also, sorry I took so long to get it up, I wrote it all in one day after I chapter 7 came up but then I didn't like it so much so I sent it to my friend who only just wrote back now. Anywhoodle, here's the story:



   Quite to Remus's disappointment, Hermione did not jump into his arms screaming 'Oh, oh Remus - I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE MY TEACHER IN TEENAGE FORM - JUST MARRY ME NOW!' No, no, the real-life scenario did not quite match upwith this lovely little fantasy.



    See, in Rematopia the whole shebang went down rather along the lines of this...



    "Right. Hermione, will you go to Hogsmeade with me on Saturday."Remus asked her meaningfully, not once struggling with a word, or stuttering, or looking anything other than perfectly confident that any girl would kill to jump into his arms and then agree immediately. Followed up by a trip to Hogsmeade with him in four days.



    After that, Hermione would have to pinch herself so hard that tears would come to her eyes, and consequently Remus would have to wrap his arms around her and whisper sweet nothings in her ear to make her feel better - still wondering why the hell she was doing this, and hoping that she would (In time) explain herself.



    "Sorry." Hermione would say in her silky-smooth voice, looking up at her with her fantabulous eyes. "I just had to make sure that my dreams did really come true." Then Hermione would close her eyes, and lean slightly into him, waiting for Remus to do the rest.



    "I love you." Remus would utter in a deep and amazingly manly voice, then tie the whole thing up by swooping in to plant a movie-worthy kiss on her lips, all the while ignoring the hooting and hollering of the class as it disappeared behind them. For good measure, he might just add in McGonagall fainting in surprise.




    But apparently the owl with that information had gotten lost in transit, because Hermione wasn't catching on.



    "Excuse me?" Hermione asked politely, leaning in in a way that was completely out of order. She isn't around to skip around with his daydreams like that! Life is supposed to either go completely according to plan, or completely off the track.



    "WillyougotoHogsmeadewithme?" Remus repeated breathlessly - breathing wasn't a priority when his heart (It took predominance to his lungs at the moment) was hanging on the line.



    "What?" Hermione asked just as politely, now much to close to his face for Remus to be okay with. She shouldn't be allowed to spin his emotions like this, turning him into a hormonal boy, rather than a level-headed student.


    So what else could he do?



    She was much, much, to close to his face.



    He kissed her.



    And, damn, was that girl a god kisser - quite phenomenal actually. Who had she been hanging out with? Must have been a celebrity or a Quidditch star or SOMETHING, because it was just overwhelming.



    Dammmnnn.



    Then - typical Hermione - she just pulled away as Remus was about to deepen it, trying to tease open her lips. "We're in class." She said breathlessly, alluringly.



    "So?" Remus asked just as breathlessly as she, leaning in to start it all over again.



    "McGonagall's watching. Harry's watching. James's watching. Ron's wa-DAMMIT!" Hermione was continuing like he hadn't even said a word, she may be book-y like him, but she was no Marauder either.



    Oh bollocks. That's never a good time with Hermione, and...Remus had just realized something very influential on his single-ness for the Hogsmeade trip that weekend - Hermione still hadn't agreed! He had interrupted her with the kiss a bit too soon..Remus’ said it once, he's going to say it again. Bollocks.



    "Wait - Hermione..." He said, reaching up for her in a slightly whiney voice. But after all that hard thinking it was too late, she was already out of her seat, going after Ron. If he had known what had happened just the year before with Lavender Brown, maybe he would have approached this a little differently; it was too late now.



    "RO-ON!" Hermione was saying, just catching the edge of Ron's shoulder as he stomped off to who-knows-where (Boys don't go off to have a good cry in the bathroom do they? Not like us girlies.)



    "What?" Ron replied haughtily, turning around to face her, face redder than it usually was. "What? Have you been forgetting me too Hermione? It's not like you're the only one these days! I can't handle it anymore, just LOOK at yourself!" (I think you'll find this is strike one for Ronald)



    A/N: Sorry. The other person he's referencing to is myself. I felt rather bad for my Ron disappearing act so hopefully he'll be seen in this chapter.



    "Ron." Hermione said, only one moment away from rolling her eyes at his immaturity. "What's Lavender then? A distant memory? Because I happen to have one of you two trashing around like eels all over the place..." Ron wouldn't let her finish, and interrupted rudely. (Uh-oh! That has 'taboo' written all over that, Ron shouldn't have interrupted her. Strike two for Ronnie)



    "Oh, that's hot, coming from you - I seem to remember a certain bushy-haired girl setting a pack of wild, revenging song birds on me!" He replied heatedly, getting almost as close to her as Remus had been just moments ago - yet in yet another completely different way.



    And that, my friend, was strike number three for our dear boy. And do you know what that means? You are ouuuutttttttt!



    "Oh wow, is that the best you can come up with? And I believe the word is avenging, not revenging dear Ronald." Hermione said as politely as she could, controlling her temper while she slowly slid her wand out of her over-stuffed bag.



    "Well, WELL, we-" Was all our red-head-tempered friend managed to get out before he was silenced by sudden loss of feeling in his tongue, then a rather odd extra amount of it. Yes, Hermione had taken a page out of Fred and George's book and set a tongue lengthening spell apon it - and it was coming along quite nicely.



    "Did I do that?" She asked in a sickly sweet voice, slipping the wand back into her bag and turning round on her heel, heading back to the oft-forgotten Transfiguration class to the soundtrack of Ron's desperate attempts at getting her attention.



-




    "Right, well, class is dismissed." Professor McGonagall said over the sounds of her classes hooting and jeering, completely giving up at getting their attention back to their lesson. ‘It's not like they'd remember it in a week anyhow’ was the Professor’s only consolation - but it really wasn't much at all.



    "I wonder if this is how Umbridge feels." She added half to herself, half to the only boy who was still watching her with rapt attention, little Nathaniel Ryback.



    "Is class always like this?" Manda asked Luna with rapt interest as they picked up their bags and walked back towards the Ravenclaw Tower, ignoring the chaos that they were leaving in their wake.



    "Wouldn't that be lovely." Luna said dreamily, already having planted her nose in front of the latest Quibbler, a preview copy for the following month from her father.



    "Did you hear the news? Apparently Voldemort not - in fact, voted Most-Likely-To-Became-Crazed-Mass-Murder-Who-Takes-Over-The-World when he was in school...he was actually told that he was going to become the next Minister, whatever the Daily Prophet says." Manda told her, trying to make conversation with who seemed to be her only friend so far in this school. Luna was probably the only one who hadn't put two and two together and realized that Cedric was her brother, now that Manda thought about it.



    "Hmmm? Oh, everybody knows that, don't they?" Said Luna distractedly, still engrossed in her magazine.



    Manda sighed, giving up hope on her for the moment. Looking around, all she saw was a rather pudgy-faced brown-haired boy who seemed to be frantically searching the floor for something. There's nothing to lose, she sighed, heading over to help him out.



    "I've lost my frog, Trevor!" The boy said, not bothering to look up at her.



    "Do you need some help?" She asked kindly, getting down on her knees to look alongside him.



    "That would be..." Neville started to say, but Manda interrupted him.



    "Is that him? In your pocket, I mean? Or do you have two frogs?" Manda asked, watching Neville with a funny expression on her face. She hadn't thought that people still brought frogs, of all things, to school. Her mother had assured her many times over that it the fad was quite dated now, and if Manda had known, maybe she would have brought her own frog, Frank, to school that year.



-




    "Aren't they gorgeous?" Lavender Brown asked, staring glassy-eyed at the three Marauders sauntering down the hallway the next day, Wednesday. James's wiry figure was in the middle, robe flowing royally behind him, flanked on either side by muscular Sirius and wiry Remus. Whether it was the messy-haired boy with the glasses that Grace had taken a liking for, or the book-y boy with the sexily side swept hair that Parvati had taken a stalking to, or the shaggy haired, swaggering Black that charmed girls out of their skirts with nothing but a wink.



She, really, really needed to break up with Dean.



    "Toe-tall-e." Parvati agreed, eyeing them like they were something delicious, topped with whipped cream. And in her mind, that was only a trip to the kitchen away from becoming reality...



    "I love my life." Grace was whispering dreamily, still watching them with awe and wishing she had the confidence of Lavender and the exotic beauty of Parvati to do something about Lily Evans - that girl who was constantly getting in the way.



    "Do you know anywhere to get racy photos?" Grace added as an after thought hoping to look cool, and smiling as she imagined it...



    "Racy photos?" You have got to be messing with me." Lavender stopped walking to put her hands on her hips and survey the small teenybopper. "We need to get them for ourselves and share them with the elite girls of Hogwarts."



    "Ermmm..." Grace had been hoping that after she told them the first thing she wouldn't have to say any more, because the whole thing wouldn't go anywhere at all, just be a lovely shot in the breeze that could help her get in the girls' good books. Not so much luck.



    "I heart it." Parvati said, making a tacky little heart with her hands just to prove how much she did. Thinking of all the things they could do, the things they could get...it sent shivers up her spine. "What'll be do first?" She asked their leader, Lavender.



    "First of all - don't do that. Second...the only two girls who are truly worth of this is us." Lavender proclaimed, secretly wondering if they'd go for calling her 'Queen of the Universe' or QOTU for short. Maybe not now, but in time they should. "...And Grace." Lavender added as an afterthought, reminding herself that the girl could come in handy sometimes.



    "Yes!" Grace squealed, she was IN. And whether or not this included being part of a crazy Marauder fan club or not, it still meant that she was popular, and that was all that mattered for now. Everything else, Grace could deal with later.



    Meanwhile, the boys in question were planning their first prank set in the future. "It has to be huge." Sirius was saying, grilling the other two boys for ideas because he was out of them.



    "Bigger than your ego? This might get difficult." James replied to his best friend, then added in a girly voice. "Oh, no, Hogwarts! There's big scary boys on the loose, with lots of bigger, scarier plans!"



    "Is that the best you've got?" Sirius asked with raised eyebrows - frankly, he was disappointed in his friend. He had expected better than this from James.



    In a rather desperate response, James turned to the approaching Slytherin and Posse for a snide remark that would go down well. "'Ello there, Poppy." He said in his best British Pirate accent. Which wasn't saying much, if you know what I mean.



    "Excuse me?" Draco said, pushing his way in front of his two cronies of choice: Crabbe and Goyle to get a better aim at the Marauders. "If my father hears you've be-"



    "Sorry?" Asked Sirius with mock interest, "Would you like some ice for that burn?" At least, thats how Sirius hoped it went, he had seen it on a muggle sitcom when he was crashing and James' over their last summer together.



    "Here, let me help." Remus cut in, smoothly making his entrance into the conversation. "Iccello," He grinned, flicking his wand to incase Malfoy in ice.



    Now, the most Malfoy could try to do was glare at them, but all he managed was a frightened widening of the eyes. The two gangster wannabes flanking him just stood by and cracked their knuckles threateningly - they'd left their wands in their beds, along with their security blankets. And no, you are definitely not in a position to judge them for that when the two of them are working up a punch, so consider yourself warned.



    "Punch him, not us. Then you'll break the ice and he'll be free." James suggested. (Were the thugs were seriously thick enough to go for this one? If they were, well, all the more pleasure for James)



    "No, wait - this will be the best part." Sirius muttered to Remus, eyeing Slytherin and Posse carefully.



    Yes, that is their new name - Slytherin and Posse. Very macho, no?



    Well, their little fan club thought so, anyways. Back to the story:



    "Five...four...three...two...ONE!" Remus counted down, not sparing a glance to Sirius as he watched the two Slytherin thugs ball their arms up and look at each other with frightened glance while Malfoy tried his hardest to shake his head 'no!', but all to no avail.



    They took a swinging karate punch at the thin blonde, and the rest that happened was what only could be expected:



    All hell broke loose.



A/N: I hope you liked it! I know the Luna/Manda part wasn't very good, but now there's a huge prank and a fan club to look forward to right? There will be more action/suspense/stuff in the next chapter so just stick with it. I haven't started the next chapter yet but I know pretty much what's going into it, so...Also, sorry that the Marauders aren't very in character yet - I'm working on it though! Sirius isn't very playboy/popular-boy-like at all at the moment. But he will be more in the next few chapter, and then there's the Hogsmeade trip to look forward to (You didn't really think it could go according to plan, did you?) Anyhow, you'd probably rather me start on the next chapter than continue this rambling author's note, wouldn't you? So please give Hewitt (The review box, thanks thebakerwhowouldntcook) some company and REVIEW!

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