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Streamers hung across the walls, joined by groups of black and orange balloons. Candles floating in the air gave the Gryffindor common room a spooky look, which was only added by the scary screams and laughs of the balloons.  Emma, her face red from anger, was attempting to blow up an orange balloon but it was only getting harder the more she got annoyed.

“This wouldn’t be half bad if these things weren’t magical…” She said bitterly tossing the deflated balloon on the ground. The people around her laughed. It was a couple days before Halloween and not only did they not have classes the gang was preparing for a party they were throwing in the Gryffindor common room. Emma sat on the couch miserable, her hand on her almost four months belly, between Remus and Lily who were also blowing up balloons while James, Skylar, Nicole and Sirius hung them up as well as set up the treat table and the music.

“ This is going to be the best party ever!” James half screamed excitedly , a large smile on his face and he looked at his friends.

“That’s what you said about your summer party… and well…”Remus travelled off sending a quick side glance to Lily who pretended not to notice.

“Who’s coming with me to get the candy?” Nicole asked, changing the subject.  Not a second after Sirius and James hands shot up. “ Anyone ?” She asked desperately, ignoring the two boys jumping in front of her. “ Anyone? No, guess I’m going alone. “

“Aw, come on Nicole, bring us” James said pouting. Nicole matched his pout, she didn’t want to bring the two overly hyper boys. You would think they’d be tiered at such an early time in the morning but the amount of candy they had already eaten quickly changed that.

“ I promised Ms. Cha that I wouldn’t bring you two.” She lied about the Honeydukes owner.

“I’ll come with you.. “ Remus offered, most likely out of pity, Nicole thought but smiled nonetheless and ran up the stairs to fetch her sweater. On her way back down she ignored the glares of Sirius and James and joined Remus out the portrait whole. But they stopped before they could fully leave the common room for in front of them was Peter.

“Hey Pete, where have you been? “ Nicole asked patting the blonde boy on the back.

“ Just… Walking around, trying to figure out how to do all my home work, I think I’ve figured it out..” He said, hands in his pockets.

“And how’s that?” Remus asked as they allowed Peter to step into the common room.

“ I’ve got a tutor in Ravenclaw. “ Nodding Remus and Nicole left Peter who was being beckoned by the others to help them.

The walked to Hogsmead was awkward and strange, Nicole knew Remus wanted to talk about the night when she told him about her attempted suicide and she hoped he wouldn’t bring it up any time soon. She sensed it - it was the determined look in his eyes as they stared at her, it was the way he walked with eagerly and it was the way he courageously opened his mouth to ask her the dreaded question.

“Race you!” She yelled before running down the curving road towards Hogwarts gates. She heard him behind her, most likely aggravated and annoyed from either her sly tactics of keeping the topic out of the air or maybe it was because she was kicking dirt and rocks at him as she ran. She couldn’t tell , maybe a bit of both.  A giggle escaped her mouth as she noticed the new determination in Remus as he finally started running at his own speed instead of her own.  Smirking she ran as fast as she can with her short legs which was obviously not enough, she was still a far ways down when Remus reached the gates, hands on his knees he huffed and puffed.

“ You … suck “ He said between breath letting out a pained chuckled as he stood up fallowing her through Hogsmead.  Once they arrived at Honeydukes they had stopped breathing so deeply and were now back to their awkward stage, it was as if they had taken two steps back.

“Did they want anything special ? “ Nicole asked him, averting her eyes from his to look around the store. She smiled and Mrs. Cha, the owner.  Remus shrugged.  Going their own ways they both collected three bags full of candies from chocolate frogs to every flavored jelly beans to licorice wands.  They were both relieved when they got back to the common room where all their friends had finished decorating and were now sitting around the room, bored.  It was more then just them, Gryffindors from every year awed at the seventh years  surprise and most of the first and second years cheered and smiled brightly when Nicole and Remus came in with the bags of candy.


The party had started long ago and most of the first to fourth years were all in bed leaving the older students to partying.  The group cheered when Sirius and James walked in with bottles of whiskey  and hurried over to the table to mix it with the punch they were drinking.  Nicole smiled and handed Skylar a drink before taking a seat on the arm of her chair.

“Thanks” Sky said taking a sip, she scrunched up her nose for a second before smiling up at Nicole.  “Great party”

“Yea, one thing the Marauders know how to do is throw a blasting party “ Smiling brightly Nicole scanned the room. She soon burst out laughing, tears streaming from her eyes causing Skylar, who was also a bit tipsy, to look at her oddly.  Nicole could hardly talk to she simply pointed to the opposite side of the room where James was sitting on an arm chair, making out with Lily who was sitting on top of him, on the armchair across from them were Remus and Sirius who looked rather uncomfortable at sitting together in such a small space.  Grabbing Skylar by the arm she dragged her towards the majority of their friends.  Peter had decided to stay with Emma in the heads dormitories for the night.

“Bloody hell!”

Nicole and Skylar stopped their awkward and clumsy march to their friends, Sirius and Remus stopped trying to push the other off the chair and Lily and James stopped making out  to all stare a the pissed off blonde looking at James and Lily.

“James Potter you cheating prig!” Ashley screamed, her face red and her hair a mess.  James looked at the girl scared while Lily looked around confused, a hiccup leaving her mouth every once in a while.  Angrily Ashley pulled Lily off of him, throwing her to the ground before grabbing James and dragging him out the portrait hole. Everything was quiet until Sirius opened his mouth.

“That girl is tough” He chuckled causing the whole common room to erupt in laughter.  A laughing Nicole and Skyler picked Lily up by the arms and started walking her towards the portrait hole but were stopped by a confused Sirius.  “Where are you going - the parties only started?” He called.

“To the heads dorms, coming ?” Skylar asked, sending Sirius a half smile. He nodded, a large smile appeared on his face as he pulled Remus out the portrait hole behind the girls.  Half way there Lily tripped on a trick stair causing the group to fall. At the bottom of the stair case, bruised the group started laughing.

“ Has anyone noticed that we trip more often then normal? “ Nicole asked trying to pick up a sleeping Lily.  Huffing she dropped her causing Remus to shake his head slightly amused, he picked the red head up and carried her the rest of the way on his shoulder while the rest of his friends made a fool of them selves.

“Snuffleupagus!” Nicole and Skylar screamed , a minute later Lily mimicked then quietly as the door to the heads dormitory opened to reveal Peter and Emma on the couch playing a game of  Pictionary. Nicole, Skylar and Sirius squealed and hurried over to the couch to join the two.  Remus laid Lily sat the now awake Lily down besides Peter before taking a seat himself.

Soon the game began.


“Snuffleupagus” James muttered tiredly, his head pounding from his morning hang over. He groaned as the door banged loudly behind him.  He had stayed up all night with Ashley who yelled at him for the most part, finally when he started sobering up he apologized and spent the rest of the night in her bed. He didn’t care for the girl and he knew he was only there for show, silently he wondered why he stuck around girls like that.  He stopped mid step after noticing the group of people on the couches. Emma had fallen asleep on the armchair with Peter snoring against her knees as he sprayed out on the ground, Sirius and Remus slept on each side of one couch while  the girls cuddled on the other.

He looked at all his friends and wondered if they were happy. Silently he chuckled, James Potter doesn’t think such things he reminded himself as his eyes fell on the sleeping red head. He walked over to her and gently brush a lock of hair from her face, she was beautiful and he knew it. It was hard for him to deny his heart what it wanted, it was hard for him to smirk at her each time he sees her pleading eyes, he knows he’s being an arse but after all those years of her doing the similar thing his ego was to big to allow her to win.

His head wanted to hurt her like she hurt him.
His heart wanted to fall at her knees and declare his love.

Chuckling bitterly he made the rest of his way to his room, not bothering to change as he slipped under the covers and fell asleep.

Lily opened her tear filled eyes only moments after James turned his back on her and she muttered ‘ I love you’ before allowing the tears to silently dance across her cheeks.

Hearing James door close with a click she got up slowly form beside Skylar and made her way over to the head boys door, turning the knob she stuck her head in. James was laying on his bed, he looked so peaceful. Lily smiled about to turn around when she heard his voice.

“ I hate you “ he muttered, she turned back to him her eyes filling with tears.  He kept his eyes averted from her own as he stared at the canopy over him.  He face was set in a stony way , one with no emotion.  Finally he turned his face to her and glared. “ I see you happy and laughing and all I want to do is hurt you like you did to me. I want you to feel exactly how I have felt for the past four years.”

“ I never meant to hurt you James” she said sobbed.

 “Don’t! Don’t you dare call me by my name - its Potter to you Evans!”  He had quickly gotten out of his bed and walked over to her, his eyes narrowed and his face was red.  But Lily couldn’t stop herself from thinking how good looking he was and she told him so.  He shook his head angry. “ Stop!” slamming his hand against the wall he caused Lily to jump.  For the past couple years you’ve killed me and now its my turn.” pushing her out of the room he slammed the door.

It felt like déjà vu a Lily found herself once again locked in her bathroom, the black clothe had fallen to the ground as she grasped the blade. She glared at herself in the mirror, tears and makeup streaming her face, she looked horrible. She wasn’t pretty.  She wasn’t funny. She wasn’t skinny or perfect. She wasn’t enough for James Potter. She didn’t care anymore, the silent objection didn’t come so she pressed down hard on her skin. She let out a cry and fell to the ground as the blood spilled down her arm, grabbing at her towel she quickly wrapped it around her arm, blood was already dropping to the floor and she was becoming over whelmed with exhaustion.

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