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Chapter Ten

Oh The Joys of Hair-brained Schemes, Old Photographs and Memories


"My good intentions are completely lethal."
- Margaret Atwood


Sirius Black is a dead man. He’s dead- with a capital D. I am going to murder him slowly and painfully, and I’m going to enjoy it- immensely. I’ll start off by duck taping his hands and feet together. I won’t gag his mouth, because I want to hear him scream. And then I’ll tie him by his feet (so he’s upside down) to a thin rope and hang him from the ceiling of an empty room with no visible windows or doors. And it’ll be made completely of rough hewn wood. And there will be blood stains on the wall. Yes, blood stains will be a lovely addition. What else? Oh yes, and I will slowly lower him towards a vat of boiling green goop that smells like sulfur. And I will lower him using a crank that creaks as you crank it, just for the chilling effect. And I’ll have bloodthirsty rats scurrying across the floor just waiting to get a taste of his flesh.


I have to work on my cackle as well. It has to be prefect because I am going to laugh as his Adonis-like body slowly has the life sucked from it.




Yea, it still needs a bit of work.


Ugh, I can not believe the nerve of that boy! Actually I can, it’s so typical of that immature prat. (Once again, thank you Lily for the excellent insults) It was a classic Sirius prank. I mean, only Black would be demented and perverted enough to come up with the idea of charming the girls locker’s so that the shower’s don’t work and the mirrors are windows to the boy’s lockers. And did I mention he stuck like a billion stink bombs in my locker? Bastard.


He is going to get it when I get back to the common room! It’s his fault I am now marching back there in my sweaty, mud splattered quidditch robes . And I stink to high heaven. Stupid, narcissistic asshole. I swear if I get detention for getting mud on the floor I will chop black up into tiny bits, while his heart is still beating, and feed him to the giant squid.


You know, maybe I’ll just strangle him with my bare hands. I think I may relish doing that to him more.


I know what you’d really relish doing to him.


Rodrigo! Hello my dear, green, cute, little cricket friend! What do you think, should I strangle him; drown him in smelly, green goop; or go all Sweeny Todd on him and slit his precious throat?


Actually I think you two should just get over your childish grudge and indulge the sexual tension between the two of you by shagging in the nearest broom cupboard.


Rodrigo, why is it every time I speak to you, you insist Black and I need to go fuck one another? Didn’t I ever teach you that if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all? Stupid cricket.


Jessie darling, I am just a product of your unconscious thoughts and desires.


I do not want to do Black! I hate him!


That doesn’t mean you don’t want to do him…


Rodrigo! Just shut up and answer the original question!



Good cricket. Now, how shall I murder Black?



Rodrigo! Answer the question!


You told me I couldn’t speak…


Please answer the question. Now.


The goop idea sounds lovely.


Good demonic cricket. Now run along and play nicely with the pink, sparkly unicorns. Hehe.




Life is a quest and love a quarrel. - Edna St. Vincent Millay




Sirius Black folded his hands behind his head and sighed as he closed his eyes. He rested his feet on top of the coffee table and crossed his legs at his ankles. He yawned and let the rare silence in the nearly empty common room wash over him. He was just about to doze off when he was rudely awoken by an ear splitting scream and the sound of the portrait hole slamming shut.


“Sirius Orinion Black!” Jessie screamed as she slammed the portrait f the fat lady closed. She marched over to the crimson sofa by the fire, which was occupied by the sleepy young man in question. She stopped in front of Sirius and put her hands on her hips.


“You rang?” Sirius said yawning. He sat up straight once again and looked up at Jessie taking in her appearance. His fellow beater was still dressed in her quidditch kit, which was soaking from perspiration and splattered with mud from the pitch. Her blonde hair was halfway out of its braids and her face was red from anger.


“Yes I believe I did ring.” she snapped venomously, glaring at him. Sirius gulped. She looked angry enough to kill and quite frankly, despite popular belief, he really rather disliked upsetting the tall blonde. For Jessie tended to become very rash and violent when angered and if truth be told Sirius didn’t really enjoy being pummeled into a pulp or hexed into the next century- especially not by a girl, and especially not by Jessie. He closed his eyes and shuddered as he remembered the last time he had made Jess extremely angry- he had been stuck in the hospital wing and tortured by Pomfrey and he was pretty sure his jaw had never been the same again. He rubbed his jaw and looked back up at Jessie.


“And…’Sirius said politely. He smiled brightly at her and crossed his arms. Her glare darkened even more and Sirius removed his eyes from Jessie’s contorted features and began scanning the room for James or at the very least Remus or Lily or even Mary. But alas James, Remus, Mary and Lily were no where to be found and thus Sirius was left all alone with a very irate Jessie Spring.


Jessie huffed and yanked Sirius up off the sofa by his collar. He flailed about as Jessie pulled him to his feet. Once he was finally back on solid ground Sirius smacked her hand away. Jessie took a step closer to him and pointed her finger at him, “ You bastard! How dare you screw with the locker room! Do you have any idea how idiotic and perverted that was? Because of you I had to walk back up her without taking a shower, covered in mud and fully clothed in my bloody quidditch gear!” Jess jabbed her finger into his chest with every word.


“Aww, come on Spring it was just a prank.” Sirius said tugging on one of Jessie’s braided pigtails. Jess growled and grabbed his collar again.


“Did you just growl at me?” Sirius asked, looking at Jessie like she had grown another head and ten tentacles along with a few extra ears.


“How many times do I have to tell you not to touch my hair! I‘ve been telling you since we were four and I‘ll tell you again- stop touching my hair!” Jessie said clenching her right hand into a fist. She removed her left hand from Sirius’ shirt and grabbed a fistful of his silky black locks and yanked on them. Sirius yelped like a wounded dog and attempted to pry Jessie’s fingers from his hair.


“Get off!” Sirius yelled. He was now attempting to remove Jessie’s fist from his hair with both hands.


“Then stop fucking with mine!” Jessie yelled removing her hand. Sirius clasp both his hand over the spot Jessie had violated and pouted. Jessie rolled her eyes at him, “ Mark my words Black I will get you back!” she spat as she began to walk away.


“No Spring I’m going to get you!” Sirius called after her, grinning evilly, “Say goodbye to your lovely golden hair, it may just be permanently black tomorrow. And say goodbye to you playbook because it just might turn into firewood. And say goodbye…”


Jessie rolled her eyes and made a mental note to have Lily marauder proof the door later. She began to walk up the stairs and suddenly a manic grin sprawled its way across her face. She stuck her head back out into the common room.


“Oy! Black!” She yelled. Sirius turned around took look at her.


“What now?” he called back, “I’m in the middle of plotting your demise!”


“Has James asked Lily out yet?” she said grinning ear to ear. Sirius shook his head, confusion clearly written across his face.


“One day Sirus darling! You better hope Jimmy-poo gets his act together soon!” Jessie said laughing evilly. She flashed him a grin and popped her head back into the stairwell.


“Oh bloody hell.” Sirius said as comprehension dawned across his face. He began muttering a string of curses, but stopped suddenly as he heard a loud bang coming from the girl’s stairway.


“Shit, my wrist!”


Sirius shook his head. Jessie had once again fallen going up the stairs.


Jessie pushed open the door to the seventh year girl’s dormitory as she shook her left hand. As the door creaked open she surveyed the room in front of her. It was quite empty. As she walked over to her bed she mentally calculated where everyone was. Lily was at a head’s meeting with James, Mary was off with Luke, and Jordan had to be off snogging some poor soul. When she got to her bed Jess yanked off her gloves and boots. She kicked her shoes under the bed and tossed the gloves onto the nightstand. As they hit it a piece of paper fluttered onto the floor. Jess leaned over and picked it up. It was a note from Lily.


She turned it right side up and began to read what it said.



I’ll be at the meeting until 8 tonight. After we meet with the prefects James and I have to revise the patrol schedule and report to Professor McGonagall and hand it in.


Be a good girl and don’t kill Sirius!


Love, Lily


Jessie rolled her eyes as she read the last sentence. Lily had absolutely no faith in her. Honestly, just because Black and her had tried to strangle one another on New Years… Jessie shook her head and stuck the note back on her nightstand. She pulled off her socks and after adding them to the growing pile of crap under her bed, hoped of her bed and slowly made her way over to the bathroom.


After shedding her muddy quidditch kit she climbed in to the steaming shower and began humming to herself as she undid her braids and began to shampoo her hair.




Hatred bounces.- E. E. Cummings




“Take a ride on my broomstick baby! We’ll fly high into the sky! Take a ride on my broomstick baby! We’re gonna do it tonight!” Jessie sang as she twirled her way over to her bed, towel drying her hair as she went. She slipped an old worn quid ditch t-shirt over her head and pulled on a pair of sweats, humming to herself as she changed. Jess slipped her wand into the waistband of her pants and began to comb her fingers through her hair.


“Let’s take a ride baby…” she sang as she walked over to her trunk and began to dig through the contents, “…bloody hell this needs organized…” she muttered as she shifted through the stuff.


“Where is it?” she murmured as she began digging again, “Where on earth…” she said to herself as she leaned back and dug her fingers into her hair. She closed her eyes and began muttering to herself, “I know I put it back in here… I know I did… I had it out… yea... Then I stuck it in the bottom…”


Suddenly her eyes snapped open, “Firewood!” she sprung up and flung open the door of the dormitory. She stormed down the stairs and into the common room.


“Sirius Orinion Black!” she screamed as she marched up behind him. Sirius was still sitting in the spot he had been earlier, the only difference was this time he was fully asleep, instead of only starting to doze off. Since he didn’t turn around at her outburst, Jessie marched up to the sofa. Sirius was sound asleep. Jessie rolled her eyes, how on earth could someone so conniving, look so innocent when they were asleep?


She smirked and leaned over so her lips were only a few centimeaters away from his ear, “Boo!“ she said. At the sound of Jessie’s voice Sirius bolted upright, “Wazz gowing ahwn?” he said rubbing his eyes as he turned to face Jessie.


“How on earth do you manage to look like an innocent six year old when your asleep? And where the hell is my playbook!” Jessie shouted, squatting down behind the sofa, so she was at Sirius’ level. Jessie groaned and rubbed her back. She leaned her arms on the back of the sofa and put her head on her hands. Once she had situated herself, she glared at Sirius.


“Huh?” Sirius said yawning. He tussled his hair and turned so he could look at Jessie.


“My playbook Sirius. The one you and James have been attempting to steal since we were fifteen.” Jessie said slowly, as though she was speaking to a four year old. She rolled her eyes.


“Oh, your playbook. I don’t know. I don’t have it.” Sirius shrugged yawning again, he was still half asleep, “Maybe James finally got it and hasn’t told me yet, I dunno Jessie.”



Jessie groaned and banged her head against the sofa, “Your not lying, your sure?” she said.


“I’m not lying. Jessie I’m to tired to lie. Ask James when he gets back. I don’t have it. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to bed.” Sirius said standing up. Sirius winced as he stood up to his full height.


“Is your back killing you too?” Jessie said as she walked with Sirius over to the stairs. Sirius nodded, “It was that stupid rapid hit drill. I think I pulled something.” he yawned and leaned against the stairwell opening.


“Bastard.” Jess murmured, “ Please give Hitler hell when he returns to the dormitory. I don’t think I’m going to be able to move tomorrow.” Jess said.


“That I can do.” Sirius said grinning he winced as he attempted to begin walking up the steps, “…maybe… unless I’m dead before he gets back.”


Jessie laughed, “ Night Sirius.” she said shaking her head.


Sirius yawned and smiled at Jessie, “Night Jazz.” he said as he ruffled Jessie’s hair.


Jessie rolled her eyes and smacked Sirius stomach, “Prat” she said. Jessie grinned at him and then began climbing back up to he dormitory.


Jessie reached her dormitory and shut the door behind her. She yawned and began walking over to her bed but she suddenly stopped in her tracks. A look of horror crossed over her face and she laced her fingers into her hair, “Oh bloody fucking sodding hell, I just had a civil conversation with Black.”




Hate is misguided love. ~Author Unknown




The Gryffindor seventh year girl’s dormitory was nearly silent, the only noise that could be heard was the trees rustling outside the open window and the occasional hoot of an owl. Jordan, Mary and Lily lay peacefully in their respective beds; Jessie, on the other hand, was tossing and turning in her sleep. Suddenly she shot up like a bullet. Her eyes flickered open and she began breathing heavily. She wiped the sweat from her forehead off with the back of her forearm and looked around the room. He breathing slowly slowed and she ran her fingers through her hair. The bed creaked as she kicked her covers towards the foot of the bed and swung her legs off. She slowly stood up and walked over towards the window seat. Jessie climbed up and leaned her head against the window frame. The cool night air washed over he face and she wrapped her arms around her knees. Jess sighed and looked up at the stars. And although a faint smile flickered across her face as she found the constellation she had been looking for, her eyes showed her inner pain and turmoil.




It was a lovely garden. Behind the expertly manicured hedges and rosebushes a variety of trees stood, their leaves swaying in the summer breeze. Inside the leafy wall there was a ornate fountain made of the finest marble, the calming sound of it’s water running down the sides added to the peacefulness and serenity of the spot. Behind the fountain stood a large manor. It’s French doors were flung open to allow the breeze from the garden to enter the ballroom inside. Faint music and light trickled out through the doorways and a large sign had been hung from a balcony above. In the night the words upon it were barely visible, but if one squinted they were able to make out the words “ Welcome to the Minister’s Ball” written in dark ink.


Below a young girl around the age of ten came storming out of the French doors. Her blonde hair and the upper half of her dark blue dress were soaking wet. She stomped over to one of the marble benches by the rosebushes and sat down. “Stupid Black” she huffed crossing her arms. She sat there sulking for a few moments muttering about “how she was going to kill him” and “ how he was the devil reincarnate.”


She groaned and turned around to look at the rosebush. She tore one of the flowers from the bush and began ripping the petals from it. She flung the petals up in the air as she tore and they slowly settled on the bench and the ground around her. “Stupid flowers.” she murmured , brushing the petals off the bench. She lay down on the bench and pressed her hot cheeks onto the cool marble surface.


“I didn’t mean for you to get hit with it Jessie.”


The girl’s eyes shot open and she quickly picked her head up from the bench. Standing next to her was a good looking boy of around the same age, with dark black hair.


“Honest Jessie, it was supposed to hit James!” he said sitting down and leaning his back against the bench. He began attempting to rub a scuff of his shiny, black shoes. The girl, Jessie, glared at him and laid her wet head back down on the cool marble.


“He’s acting like a prat tonight, just because he got that new broom before us. And he was driving me insane with his constant “ I got the new Nimbus model!” so I decided to make him stop. But you got in the way of the water and… I’m really sorry Jazz.” he said, rotating his body to look at her, “Really I am.”


Jessie picked up her head and rolled her eyes at him.


“Come on Jessie say something!” the boy begged as Jessie buried her head in her arms again.


“I really hate you sometimes Sirius Black.” she mumbled into her arms. The dark haired boy, Sirius, grinned. He leaned back and blew into Jessie’s ear. She squirmed and swatted at him. He ducked away from her hand and let out a bark like laugh. Jessie giggled and hoped off the bench. She sat down beside Sirius (not caring that she was about to ruin her dress), leaned her head on him and wrapped her arm around his waist. Sirius innocently wrapped his arm around Jessie’s shoulder and they both looked up at the sky.


“It’s really pretty tonight.” Jessie murmured. Sirius nodded in agreement.


“Show me where you are again.” Jessie said quietly as she brushed her wet hair out of her face with her free hand. Sirius smiled, “You see that really bright star there?”


Jessie nodded and Sirius began speaking again, “Now go over two to the left. K, and then go up about ten and over five.”


“Okay.” Jessie said squinting.


“And then it’s the stars right there.” Sirius said pointing to a cluster of stars in the sky.


Jessie sighed and leaned her forehead against her friend’s, “It’s much prettier then you.” she said teasingly. Sirius frowned, “You’re so going to pay for that.”


He smirked and began tickling Jessie. She collapsed on the ground in a fit of giggles, “Stop it Sirius!” she laughed.


“Never!” Sirius said as he began tickling her even harder, “ Not until you say Sirius Orinion Black is much prettier than his constellation.”


“You own the constellation? How do you even know the word constellation?” Jessie said cheekily. Sirius smirked and continue tickling her sides. “Fine, Sirius Orinion Black is much prettier than his constellation.” Jessie gasped out between giggles.


Sirius smirked, stopped tickling her and helped Jessie up of the ground. Jessie began brushing the dirt off her dress, she looked up at Sirius, “Just kidding.” she said smiling at him.


Sirius gaped, “Oh no you didn’t!’ he shouted and lunged at Jessie. Jessie jumped away from him and began running away from him. Sirius however caught up to her and wrapped his arms around her middle. Jessie attempted to wiggle out of his grip, but Sirius held on tight. Jess wiggled around so she was facing him.


“ I won’t let go until you say it and mean it.” Sirius said smirking. Jessie wrapped her arms around his neck and the two swayed to the soft music that was drifting out from the ballroom.


Jessie leaned her forehead against Sirius’ and rolled her eyes, “Fine, Sirius Orinion Black is much prettier than his constellation. Happy?” Jessie asked.


They stayed like that for a few moments until Sirius broke the silence, “ You look really pretty tonight Jazz.”


Jessie bit her lip, “Even though you ruined my curls?” she asked sarcastically.


Sirius rolled his eyes and smiled, “ Even though I ruined your curls.”


Jessie let out a giggle and rolled her eyes, “ I just realized I don’t have nickname for you.” Jess said.


Sirius shrugged, “You call me star boy.”


“Yea, but that’s not a real nickname. I call James Jimmy-poo. That’s a real nickname.” jess said, “How about Siri-bear.”


Sirius shuddered, “Oh please no. Narcissa calls me Siri.”


Jess cringed, “Right, nothing with Siri in it. How about uh… I dunno… uh… speckles… no… sparkles… nah…snapples… no that’s a muggle drink… snooples…”


“Snooples?” Sirius asked raising his eyebrows at Jessie, “How about no?” he said shaking his head.


Jess bit her lip in concentration, “ I got it! Snuffles!”


“Snuffles?” Sirius asked, “Are you serious?”


“No you are, and don’t even think about making me change it! Henceforth you shall be known as Snuffles.” Jessie said grinning.


“You’re crazy Jessie.” Sirius said rolling his eyes.


“But that’s why you love me.” Jessie said sweetly. Sirius let out a short laugh. He wrapped Jessie into a tight hug and murmured into her ear, “ You just keep telling yourself that Jazz.”


“Oh I will Snuffles.” Jess murmured back as she leaned her forehead against Sirius’ again. Her eyelashes brushed his cheeks and both their smiles faded when they realized how close they were. Slowly their eyes closed and their lips met in a tentative kiss.


“Jessie! Sirius! Where are you guys?”


Their eyes flashed open and the hurryingly broke away as James rounded the corner of the bush.


“ There you guys are. I was looking for you! Did I tell you that my new broom can go from zero to sixty in ten seconds?”




“I hate and I love. Perhaps you ask why I do so. I do not know, but I feel it, and am in agony.” - anonymous




Jessie unconsciously brushed her fingertips over her lips as she gazed out at the night sky. She sighed and pushed herself off the window seat. As she stood up to walk back to her bed, she gazed at the constellation one more time- she gazed at Sirius.


Unbeknownst to her, up in the seventh year boy’s dormitory a certain dark- haired marauder was also having trouble getting back to sleep. Sirius was sitting in the exact spot Jessie had been in earlier. But unlike her he was not seeking solace from the stars. Instead he had his arms wrapped around his legs and his head resting on his knees. In his hands he was carefully holding an old photo. It was wrinkled and creased and showed other physical signs of years of wear and tear. Sirius blew his dark hair out of his eyes as he looked at the photo. In it were him and Jessie when they were about six. Jessie’s blonde hair was tied up in pigtails and she and Sirius were hugging one another. Every few seconds the picture Jessie would kiss the picture Sirius on the cheek and the picture Sirius would pull on her pigtail. Sirius smiled to himself as he soaked in the picture, if only things were still so simple.



Wow. Another four thousand word chapter! I’m on a roll. Well there you go folks; lots and lots of Jessie/Sirius interaction! I was just attempting to develop their relationship even more, plus it was fun to write. Hope you liked my version of how Sirius got the nickname Snuffles; even though it was totally corny and barf worthy... And although this seems like this chapter doesn’t develop the plot, believe me it’s muy importante! Hehe… if only you knew what I had planned…oh, and I apologize this chapter wasn’t very funny… sorry guys…


Yea, I know the flashback doesn’t seem like they were ten, but I used my brother and cousin ( who are ten) and how they acted at my other cousin’s wedding as inspiration ( minus the kiss, obviously)…


The next chapter is going to be very interesting. Will Sirius or will Jessie win the bet? And will Jessie ever listen to Rodrigo? And will Jessie ever conquer her fear of whipped dairy products? Stay tuned to find out!


So yea, let me know what you enjoyed and what you hated. And let me know what lines you liked.


- pensive princess

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