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Hello readers! So, funny story. I was writing Chapter Six and I kept going on and on and on and soon it was over 3000 words. I felt like I was dragging it on (and on and on and on) but I didn't want to delete any of it so I decided to add on a few hundred words to Chapter Five. So if you've read this chapter already, just skip to the end for a little more Draco/Hermione fun. :)


Welcome to the fifth way to impress a Mudblood! I have been anticipating this one for some time now, because I am about to take none other than Hermione Granger out on a date. Yes, that's right. A real date…well, sort of.

If you recall from the last time we met, you may remember the fact that I somewhat tricked the Mudblood into going out with me. This is sometimes necessary, so feel free to use your cunning Slytherin mind to do that. If you are not a Slytherin, then I pity you.

Anyway, as you have probably figured out by now, the fifth way to impress a Mudblood is to take her out on a proper date. For most Hogwarts students, the only option other than the Room of Requirement is the charming village of Hogsmeade.

The date will show how much you care about your relationship with her. It will also show how brave you are, because it takes a great deal of bravery for a Slytherin to go out in public with a Mudblood. Of course, bravery is a Gryffindor trait that most Slytherins do not possess, or want to possess for that matter. Our sneakiness and ability to deceive is what makes us Slytherins so brilliant. We always get what we want…especially me.

Saturday rolled around fairly quickly. On that fateful day, by seven 'o clock, I was fully awake and humming a happy tune as I got ready in the bathroom. I combed my beautiful silver locks until they were more than worthy enough to be featured in an ad for shampoo in Witch Weekly. I tossed my head just like the male models do it and watched admiringly as the light in the bathroom illuminated my silky strands. I patted my hair lovingly to smooth it down again and then winked at my reflection.

"Draco, you are the most gorgeous thing in the world," I told myself loudly.

"Why thank you," I answered myself back. "It's true, isn't it?"

I leaned in towards the mirror to inspect my flawless face. No blemishes. Perfect as usual. I was about to reach for a bottle of expensive cologne when I caught sight of Hermione's reflection in the mirror. She was staring at me, openmouthed.

"Good morning, Granger," I said cheerfully, nodding to her reflection.

She looked torn between amusement and…was that disgust?

"Is something wrong?" I asked worriedly. Maybe I had a hair out of place or something. It was possible.

She shook her head, scowling. "You are the most conceited, vain, and self-centered prat I have ever had the misfortune to know!" she snapped before running out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

I groaned loudly. This was not how I had imagined it in my head. I took a deep breath and raced after her.

The portrait door was ajar. I leaped out into the corridor and caught a glimpse of her just as she was about to turn the corner.

"Hermione, wait!" I shouted, hoping that the Heads corridor was deserted.

She stopped and turned around. I was surprised to see tears running down her face.

"Hermione, please," I begged. "Don't leave me like this. I love you!" Okay, so I was turning into a lovesick puddle of mush, but I was desperate. I had never seen her cry before! And I was the one who had made her cry!

"How can you love me when you're so deeply in love with yourself?" she cried.

"I…" How was I supposed to answer that?

"Just leave me alone," she said angrily, stomping off again.

"Hermione, you have to understand. I may be conceited and vain and self-centered, but I can't help it! I was brought up that way!"

"You're getting nowhere with this, you know," she snapped, although she stopped and turned to face me again.

"I'm not done yet. Hermione, you are the most beautiful thing in my world. And yet you're so selfless and kind and generous and that's why I love you." I waited hopefully for her reaction.

"Really?" she said, her expression softening.

"It's the truth," I said, taking a few steps toward her.

"No one has ever called me beautiful before," she said softly.

"Then I must be the only person in the world who's not blind," I whispered back, before folding her into my arms for a close embrace.

That, my friend, was when I looked over her shoulder to see a crowd of people staring at us and the little scene we had just created. Every single one of them stood there, slack-jawed, gazing disbelieving at us. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

I was about to inform her of this when she spoke first. "Draco," she said matter-of-factly, "there are people staring at us."

"Yeah…" I wasn't sure how to act from here. Plus I had just realized that I was wearing nothing but my green-and-silver monogrammed boxers.

"Do we tell them the truth?" she said, in a tone that suggested we were talking about something trifle, like the weather.

I desperately ask her what she meant by that, but I had to fix the crisis we were in first. "What do you want to do?"

"I'm going to slap you," she said, looking just a tad too happy when she said that.

"Okay," I said rather dumbly. My brain was too fogged up at the moment to say anything else. Then I realized what she had just said. "Wait, why?"

"Just follow my lead," she whispered into my ear. Then, without giving me time to get ready, she smacked me across the face. It hurt, but not quite as badly as that one time in third year.

"Malfoy!" she shouted angrily, pushing me away. "That was not how it was supposed to go."

I stared at her blankly.

She stomped her foot impatiently. "You messed up your lines completely, you moron!"

I still didn't understand what she was going on about, but the way she was glaring at me told me it was my turn to say something. "Stop being so bloody annoying, Granger!" I said, hoping it was vague enough to not give everything away.

"Didn't you read over the script Professor McGonagall gave us?" she said in a shrilly voice.

Lines? Script? Oh. "This whole thing is stupid anyway!" I fumed, really getting into character now.

"Professor McGonagall is expecting us to put on a play to promote house unity, you idiot!" she snapped.

"And look how well that's turning out," I said sarcastically. I considered sticking out my tongue at her, but decided that it would be an immature move.

"Go practice your lines and make sure you know them by heart before our next rehearsal. Ugh!" She stormed down the hall back to our portrait hole, barking at the onlookers and making them scatter.

"You heard her!" I snapped at the stubborn ones who doubted our charade. "Get out of here!" I glared as menacingly as I could, and almost all of them scampered away.

The last one still standing there was a familiar redheaded girl. Ah…the Weasel's little sister. She was staring at me suspiciously.

"I'm going to take a hundred points from Gryffindor if you don't disappear in ten seconds!" I growled.

That girl had the nerve to roll her eyes at me. Then I remembered that she was Hermione's friend and Potter's girlfriend, and she was probably seconds away from telling the entire school about Hermione and me.

"You might want to put some clothes on, Malfoy," she snickered.

Before I could answer back, she threw her hair over her shoulder and flounced away. I refrained from hexing her. The second she turned the corner, I practically sprinted back to the Heads' dormitory. I was about to shout the password when the portrait door flew open again. The heavy gold frame slammed into my once-perfect-but-now-surely-dented forehead. Thoroughly bemused, I groaned and slumped over onto the floor.

"Dra--Malfoy!" gasped Hermione. "Are you okay?"

I opened an eye to see her peering anxiously at me. She was dressed in jeans and a sweater, and she had her bag slung over her shoulder. It was stuffed full of books.

I immediately sat up when I noticed that little detail, ignoring the throbbing pain in my head. "Where do you think you're going with all those books?" I said suspiciously.

"To the library…" she said, her voice trailing off as she looked at me, confused.

"But you agreed to come to Hogsmeade with me today," I whined. I admit, it was rather pathetic.

"Oh," she said, as though she had just remembered our date. "Erm, about that. I don't think it'd be a good idea, especially after the little episode that half the school witnessed this morning--"

"There were only a couple of little first years," I interjected. "They can be dealt with easily."

"You will not bully the first years!" she huffed. "The point is--"

"The point is," I interrupted again, "my head hurts like hell and it is partly your fault and therefore you should humor me and come with me to Hogsmeade right now." I gave her my most stubborn gaze.

Hermione muttered something under her breath. I thought I caught a few curse words.

"Well?" I prompted.

She glared at me. "Oh, fine. I'll go to Hogsmeade with you."

I could have done a cartwheel to fully express my joy, but since my head still hurt quite badly. I struggled to sit up. To my chagrin, Hermione giggled uncharacteristically.

"What?" I scowled.

"You have a giant purple bruise blooming in the middle of your forehead," she informed me, stifling her giggles.

"That's just bloody fantastic," I complained.

"Here, let me fix that." She pulled out her wand, leaned over me, and tapped my bruised forehead gently. Suddenly my head stopped hurting. That was when I realized we were very close.

"Thanks," I said, smiling at her.

She blushed. My grin became even wider. "You're welcome," she stammered, and then scooted away from me.

"So," I said, after realizing that she was too flustered to say anything else. "How are we going to get to Hogsmeade?"

"Seeing as you're the one asking me out," she retorted, "I thought you'd have a plan."

"Touché." Besides fantasizing about our next kiss and choosing which outfit to wear, I hadn't given it much thought. Speaking of outfits, I needed to put some clothes on. But then I noticed that Hermione was staring at my chiseled chest. I considered going shirtless for the rest of the day.

Hermione dragged her eyes away from my chest and shut them briefly. "Malfoy, please go put some clothes on. Please."

I smirked and finally stood up. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," she said, her eyes remaining shut. She was massaging her temples.

I left her sitting like that and dashed into my room and began pulling on random articles of clothing. I was still vain enough (even after my soul-baring conversation with Hermione) to glance at the mirror before I left. The look I was going for could only be described as casual disarray. Only someone as handsome as I am could pull that look off. Making sure that Hermione wasn't around, I winked at my reflection. I was now ready to take the Mudblood out on a date. 

"Malfoy, I don't see how this is going to work," said Hermione nervously as we walked through the halls of Hogwarts together. We were on our way to Hogsmeade.

"Hermione," I said sternly. "We're going on a date. Therefore you should call me Draco."

"Fine," she snapped. "Draco. I don't understand this plan of yours."

I sighed. It was so simple that it was brilliant. Why couldn't she see that? "Hermione," I began, savoring the way her name rolled off of my tongue. "Trust me. It's going to work. All we have to do is build on that lie you started this morning. Dumbledore, being the mad old bat he is--"

"Professor Dumbledore is not a mad old bat!" she interjected indignantly.

"Just listen. Dumbledore forced the two of us to be civil so his dream for inter-house unity can come true. The first phase of his plan is to make us put on a play. The second is to have us go out together to set an example. Once the entire school sees that it's okay for a feisty Gryffindor girl to go out with a charming Slytherin boy, then this whole inter-house nonsense can take off."

"Yes, but once everyone sees how infatuated you are with me, they'll know we're lying," she said. Then she clapped a hand over her mouth. In an undertone, she said, "I can't believe I just said that Malfoy is infatuated with me." She blushed, her cheeks turning a pretty pink color.

"I may be infatuated with you," I countered, "but I can restrain myself."

"So we're going to pretend to hate each other?" she asked.

"Correct." I beamed. "Brilliant, eh?"

"Oh, whatever. I just hope we don't run into Harry or Ron. They can usually tell when I'm hiding something from them," she said nervously.

I scowled when she mentioned Potty and his faithful sidekick, Weasel. I hoped we wouldn't run into them either. They would just completely ruin my date with the Mudblood.

"They won't be there," I assured her as we exited Hogwarts and passed Filch.

She immediately looked suspicious. "Why, what'd you do to them?"

I tried to look shocked, indignant, and innocent at the same time. (Merlin, that was difficult. It is impossible for males to eloquently exhibit such a breadth of emotions at once. I've seen girls manage to accomplish that feat though….)

"Must you assume that I am the kind of man who has absolutely no virtue and simply disposes of people whom I find inconvenient? I am hurt by your lack of faith in my genuinely good character!"

Hermione burst out laughing. I glared at her, and she stopped.

"Oh. You were being serious?" she said, a look of innocent surprise, amusement, and doubt on her face.

(…You see? What'd I tell you about the female gender's ability to display such a range of emotions? Oh, and we're getting off-topic here, but it'll do you good to read a book on analyzing facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice in order to discern the plethora of emotions that women express. I can lend you one of those books if you bow down to my feet and address me as Lord Draco, the Exquisitely Handsome and Sexy King of Slytherin. Just kidding…on second thought, no, I'm not joking. I rather like that title I just made up. Must go tell my minions--er, friends--about it.)

"Hello? Draco?" came Hermione's voice from very far away.

"You shall address me as Lord Draco, the Exquisitely Handsome and Sexy King of Slytherin!" I commanded without thinking.

She gave a look that clearly showed that she thought I had lost all my marbles and was certifiably insane. "What the bloody hell did you just say?"

"Nothing," I said hurriedly. "Nothing at all. Now, where do you want to go first?"

For we had reached the gates to Hogsmeade, and now the fun could really begin. 

As you can imagine, the next chapter will deal with their actual date. I have already written it (yay!) so I will update soon. ^_^
Yours till the Snorkack's horn crumples,
Queen Luna

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