Chapter title from Goldfrapp's song Tiptoe.



Hermione ached when she woke up. Her legs felt like lead and her shoulders were tense.

She groaned as she rolled out of bed.

‘You look terrible Hermione,’ Pavarti commented while looking at her curiously. ‘Perhaps you shouldn’t go to classes.’

I’m already behind.

I feel fat.

Parvarti raised her eyebrows. ‘Are you kidding?’

I said that out loud?

She mumbled an inaudible ‘Yes.’ Feeling embarrassed that her thoughts had slipped through her teeth.

She wanted nothing more than to lay back down. She felt dazed and out of character.

I’ll eat tomorrow.

She chose her biggest t-shirt to put on under her robes.

‘Go have some breakfast,’ Parvarti advised. ‘Coffee as well judging by how tired you look.’

Hermione smiled at the other girl. 

Making her way to breakfast, she felt like the left side of her body wasn’t supporting itself. The area around her adrenals hurt.

Forgetting posture for once in her life, she slouched.

She sat at the table, her legs instantly going into a bout of pins and needles.

Hermione downed 2 cups of water before following it with a mug of black coffee.

Her stomach rumbled.

When an owl landed next to her as the post arrived, all amusing thoughts of the newly announced couples around the Great Hall fled her mind as the usual rush of worry flooded in to take it’s place.

The letter read;

Dear Hermione,

I got out of hospital yesterday and I’m back at work, Jill Anderson got her braces off and your mothers feeding me real food again. The doctors say to take it easy but I don’t feel so bad.

I hope your studies are going well. 

I love you with all my heart,


Hermione was about to cry as she put the paper down. Relief overflowed through her.

A small smile grew on her lips.

I guess the world’s not so unfair after all.

She felt as though a great weight had lifted from her shoulders.

‘Why the smile?’

 Hermione twirled toward Ron, throwing her arms around him happily. ‘Dad’s getting better!’

‘That’s great!’ he mirrored her smile looking genuinely happy. ‘I’m sorry for not being there Hermione. I really am. I’m so glad he is ok. Are you feeling better?’

She poured herself another cup of coffee grinning.

‘You know what? I think I am.’

‘Are you going to have breakfast?’

Her heart sank and she eyed her empty plate, ‘Erm, of course.’

Reluctantly she reached for a few grapes.

Dad is better. Why not celebrate?

Just as her fingers closed over the firm surface of the grapes the bell rang loudly throughout the hall.

She let go abruptly.

‘Transfiguration,’ She said brightly, standing up and grabbing her bag.

Just because dad is better doesn’t mean I need to go binge.

Ron’s face fell, ‘Yeah.’





In Transfigurations Hermione didn’t fall asleep. No, her mind way occupied by far worse. 

I hate Malfoy so much. 

It’s got to stop. I’m telling him to cease this silly parcel giving. It’s not funny. It never was. 

She’d received another parcel this morning, this time full of jellybeans, pastries and scrumptious looking cauldron cakes. They’d looked to good to throw out so after checking them for poisons or enchantments, she gave them to a very pleased Ron.

‘Miss Granger? Do you know the answer?’

She looked up panicky, ‘What was the question?’

McGonagall looked annoyed.

 ‘Potter!’ she barked. Harry jumped. ‘I’d like to see you after class.’

Harry looked confused. ‘Yes professor.’

‘’See you after class,’ he murmured as Hermione left.

When lunch came she headed reluctantly towards the hall.

Last minute she changed her mind and opted for a walk around the lake.

I could use the exercise.

She spotted a blonde under an oak tree.

Ugh! Git. I hate him.

Feeling dazed and knowing her mind wasn’t working properly, she stormed up to him.

He looked up at her as shadow fell over him like a blanket. He looked up tired, almost human. 

‘It’s not funny Malfoy.’

‘It wasn’t meant to be.’

‘Right,’ she was fuming. ‘So you’re telling me you sent it to actually make me feel better?’ She laughed. ‘I highly doubt it.’

‘It wasn’t meant to make you feel better either,’ a scowl was fixed like glue on his face.

‘Ugh, then why on earth bother sending the most expensive? Are you just showing off your filthy wealth and why the hell aren’t you blackmailing me?’

Malfoy stood up angrily. ‘First of all, most expensive what? And secondly, would you like me to blackmail you?’

She stopped and looked at up him.

‘Of course not, it’s just odd that you aren’t. The most expensive Honeydukes chocolates you twat!’

Malfoy snorted. ‘Why would I bother sending you anything? It would be a waste anyway. Judging by that book of yours, you probably wouldn’t eat it anyway.’ He looked her up and down icily. ‘Why is that Granger? On a diet?’

Hermione gaped; she wouldn’t be surprised if her hair was standing angrily on end. ‘You didn’t send it?’

‘No Granger, someone else’s joke. Probably Weasley thinks he’s being all romantic. Does he know that you don’t eat?’

His face filled with distaste. ‘Then again he eats enough for the both of you.’

Hermione blushed. ‘Fuck off. It was uncalled for Malfoy,’ her voice shook. ‘K-kissing me to steal that book. It’s none of your business.’

‘Oh but it is,’ his expression was hard to read. ‘You don’t remember?’


‘Remember what?’ she snapped.


And then, against all odds, a look that could only be hurt played on his face.


It unnerved her; she could feel her anger rising.


‘You’re hurting yourself. I didn’t risk-‘ he began but Hermione cut him off furiously.


‘I hate you so much Malfoy. What I do with my life has nothing to do with you. You fucking scum ball.’

Malfoy’s soft expression changed to anger and then suddenly, his cool nonchalant expression was back.

He tutted, ‘Such harsh words coming from such a small girl.’

‘Close your mouth Malfoy, or I’ll close it for you.’ She didn’t like the tone of his voice; she stepped back, stumbling a little as she tripped on a stick.

Malfoy reached out and snagged her wrists, ‘Such tiny wrists. They’d probably break easily.’
‘Ugh!’ she swung at him with her free hand. He caught this too, his fingers wrapping around it easily.

Adrenaline was racing through her now, rising faster than usual with no food to slow it down. Despite the warm air she shivered, her knees giving way as Malfoy moved in.

‘Why do you do it Granger?’

Because it’s my lifeline. It’s the only constant thing I have. The only thing I can control.

But this was wrong. She’d lost control a long time again.

She gritted her teeth.  ‘I’m going to kill you Malfoy. I’m going to kill you with my bare hands.’

He laughed scornfully, ‘You?’ He let go of one of her hands and poked her in the ribs. She gasped.

‘I didn’t blackmail you Granger because I’m curious. I don’t believe the Gryffindor super brain would go on a simple diet.’

‘It doesn’t concern you, you half-witted oaf. I eat plenty. You saw yourself, who cares if it’s not every day. It’s just a phase. So what if I have a small appetite.’

Her stomach rumbled and an unreadable expression crossed his face.

‘You’re a strong woman Granger. I won’t deny that. Stronger that most people I’ve met.’

He leant closer, his lips almost touching hers, ‘If you can’t be saved, how can I?’

He looked at her intently before letting her wrist slip through his fingers and walked away.

Hermione slid onto the ground in confusion.

He’s being a complete jerk and yet…


She couldn’t pinpoint what was going on, and the worst part was that she was still trembling; not from fear or cold but from the memory of his lips.


Harry looked up startled as McGonagall barked at him.

What have I done now? I was actually listening.

‘Yes professor.’

He glanced sideway at Seamus who shrugged.

‘See you after class.’ He muttered as Hermione headed for the door.

Once everyone had filed out he walked up to her desk. ‘Professor?’

She sighed heavily. ‘Don’t worry Mr. Potter, you’re not in trouble.’

His shoulders un-tensed, ‘Oh, good.’

‘It’s about miss Granger. No doubt you’ll notice she is slipping in class. This is very unusual for her. I also can’t help but notice she has lost a significant amount of weight.’

He nodded gravely, realising what was going on.


 ‘I’m worried too Professor. She’s not eating. I think it has to do with her dad. He’s getting better. Ginny and I are sure she’ll start eating again now that he’s out of hospital.’

The usually stern witch looked at him softly, ‘You’ll all look after her won’t you?’

‘We already are Professor.’




'Perfection' has been nominated in the Dobby's for 'Most addicting story' !!!

Thanks to anyone who has nominated this story and thank you all so much for the continuing support! 




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