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Hello readers!

I'd just like to say a few words before I actually post the text.

First: Thanks to Jessica for being a great Beta!

Second: This is first and foremost a fic written in pastime where I couldn’t concentrate on writing my other stuff (though it soon after the beginning took over the whole time). It has no introduction to each scene and goes right into the ‘action’. It has no purpose what so ever and is kind of silly at points (of course if you have the same kind of humour as I, it might be funny). It has all the silly moments and conversations I didn’t like to be in my other fics. There is a lot of ‘locker room talk’, or at least what I think of it as, and it has portrayed the boys in a way not many fics does. It’s not the usual romantic story and it’s not filled with pink hearts, love and men pouring out their hearts to the women they like/fancy. It’s filled with men’s questions about life, days of the week and the women they are so fascinated by, yet find so intimidating.

Third: I'm nok JKR. If I were, Fred would be alive and I would be rich. End of that discussion.




September 16th, morning.

“I don’t get her.”

Sirius looked up from his breakfast. “Don’t get what?” he asked as a piece of egg fell out of his mouth.

“Her,” James repeated.

Sirius looked in the direction James did, down the table. “Who? Evans? Aha.”

“What is it that you don’t get?” Remus asked and leaned slightly over the table.

“I don’t think she knows I exist,” James said thoughtfully.

Peter and Sirius laughed. “Prongs,” Sirius said, “I’m sure she knows that you exist.”

“You have that scar on your butt to prove it,” Peter said with a smirk.

“Shut up,” James muttered. “No, I just meant that I don’t think she knows that I’m actually...” He struggled to find words. “A man..."

At this his friends burst out laughing. Sirius grabbed the table so he wouldn’t topple over as Peter got tears in his eyes. Remus, on the other hand, only laughed shortly before he studied James. “You’re actually serious, aren’t you?”

“In fact,” Sirius began.

“Shut up, Padfoot,” James hissed. He turned back to Remus. “Yeah, I mean... I’m not sure she even considers me as a human who could actually be someone she’d like.”

Sirius and Peter started sniggering, but Remus looked thoughtful. “Maybe...” he muttered.

James looked at Remus. “Maybe what?”

“It’s something I’ve read of...” he trailed off. “But I’m not sure it’d work...”

“Let me hear,” James said.

“Yeah,” Peter smirked and exchanged glances with Sirius, “let us hear too, Moony.” They started sniggering again.

Remus scowled at them before looking at James. “It’s sort of a plan.”

James raised both eyebrows. “A plan?”

“Well, sort of.” He ignored Sirius’ and Peter’s more apparent laughs. “It’s called a 30 Points Plan. You make a list as you make mistakes. When you’ve reached point 30, the girl should be yours. But if you can’t make her like you in 30 points, you probably will not make it, and you've lost the girl.”

Sirius burst out loud laughing at that. Peter followed soon after seconds of trying not to. James snarled at them and turned once again to Remus. He looked quickly past him at Lily Evans and her friends, Alison and Sarah.

“Would it work?” asked James.

“I’m not sure,” Remus said low and blushed slightly. “I’ve never tried it.”

“Ha!” Sirius exclaimed. He and Peter had stopped laughing long enough to hear the continued plan. “He’s blushin’! Of course, he’s tried it! Did it work, Moony?”

Remus scowled. “I wouldn’t tell you!”

“Oh, come on,” James complained. “Help me a little here.”

He still scowled. “Let’s just say Evanna Maryland didn’t know what hit her before she was down on both knees, begging for me to come with her to Hogsmeade.”

“Ohh!” James and Peter exclaimed.

“Moony is a bad boy!” Sirius grinned.

“So, you think it’d work?” James asked thoughtfully.

He shrugged. “Maybe.”

“I say it’s worth a try, then.”

Sirius slowly let down his fork at the table. “Prongs mate! You can’t mean this!”

James nodded with his eyes on Lily. “Yeah, I think I can.”

“Come on! Even Wormtail’s not that stupid!”

“Hey!”

“Harsh, but true, Wormtail, harsh, but true.”

Sirius patted Peter on the back as he looked at James who was thinking. Remus bit his lower lip, also waiting for James’ answer. At last he sighed. “I’ll do it. But I need your help, Remus.”

Remus smiled. “Great. We’ll start out easy. Just be yourself. Every time you make a mistake, we’ll remember and write it down on a list. Okay?”

James nodded. “Sure. Hey, they’re leaving now! Let’s go!”

As the girls down the table got up, James shot up from his chair, too. He walked straight over to Lily Evans and put an arm around her shoulder. “What do you say Evans, You and me tonight for a little romantic walk in the starlight?”

Lily scowled. “Go to hell, Potter.” She violently brushed his arm off her shoulder.

James stopped and waited for the others to catch up with him. Remus stopped by his side, sighing.

“This is going to be a long list, mate.”

James nodded. “I know.”

“And we already have our first point.”

“Like what?”

~
1. Start out by not asking her out for once.
~

James sat down in Transfiguration, eyes on the back of Lily as she sat down in front of him. Remus sat down next to him and pulled out a parchment where he wrote their first point down under the headline ‘The 30 Points Plan to make Lily Evans go on a date with you.’

James eyed the point a little before he leaned forward. “Oi, Evans!”

She turned with an annoyed expression. “What now, Potter?” she whispered and sighed. “I don’t want to go out with you. Can’t you get it?”

He shook his head saying, “That’s not what I wanted to ask you.” He looked at her a few seconds, smiling carefully, “Did you have a nice weekend?”

“Err, what?” she asked, her voice not a whisper anymore. “Umm... I guess it was fine.”

“Sounds good. Did you write the essay in Charms?”

“Um, yeah.” She seemed dumbfounded. “I finished it just Saturday.”

“Is it hard?”

She shrugged. “Not really. Easy for you, I guess.”

He nodded, and she turned back. He studied her as she whispered something to Alison, and they both turned to listen to Professor McGonagall.

Remus gave him an approving look, “Doing great, Prongs.”

James raised an eyebrow and smiled, satisfied. Then Remus wrote down another point.

~
2. Be a gentleman. E.g. pull out her chair for her and so on.
~

Lily had barely gathered her books in her school bag before James was at her side. “Want me to take your bag?”

She eyed him suspiciously. “No thanks Potter. I can carry my own stuff, and back off. You’re too close.” Then she walked out of the class.

Alison gave James a look before she followed. He sighed as Remus stopped by his side.

“Aaaand, we have another point.”

~
3. Don’t be all over her every second.
~

Sirius crossed his arms, eyes on James as Lily stormed out of class. Peter stopped up next to him. “I think he’ll make it through,” Peter muttered.

Sirius removed his eyes from James to Peter. “Is that a bet?” he smirked at him.

“Five galleons?” Peter responded by raising an eyebrow.

“You’re on.” Sirius grabbed Peter’s hand.

Remus looked at them as James walked out of class, about to follow Lily to Defense Against the Dark Arts. “I think you’re underestimating him, Padfoot.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “I don’t think so. As if Prongs can keep in line long enough for Lily to actually like him for it. No way.”

“We can make a bet, too, if you want,” Remus smirked.

“Five galleons, too?”

“I’d say more, but I feel bad that Wormtail and I will take all your money.”

“Make it ten,” Sirius said with a snarl, eyeing Remus.

“Deal!” Remus grabbed Sirius’ hand.

With a smug smile, Sirius grabbed his bag and walked out. Remus and Peter followed seconds later. James already sat in Defense, waiting for them. His eyes were glazed over as he looked at Lily who sat a table one to the left and one up.

“One galleon that his mind is on Evans,” Sirius snickered.

Remus looked at Lily. He smiled, “Definitely Lily.”

At having sensed being the current topic, Lily turned. Her eyes first lingered on James, then Remus, Sirius, and Peter. At last they turned to James again. He didn’t look away. She scowled and turned away from him.

“Your turn, Padfoot,” Remus said with a sigh as he handed Sirius the still short list. Sirius sat down next to James.

~
4. Don’t look at her all the time.
~

“Fine, fine!” I won’t!”

*

September 18th, midday.

“Great.” James looked up as Remus stopped across from him at the table. “Great what?” He waved his wand, but he did not succeed at the charm they were practicing.

Remus smiled. “Now that we’ve written four points and used them through two days, it’s time for you to really use them to get on with the list. Now we can come up with some points before you actually make mistakes.”

Just then, Sirius set the table on fire, and they all jumped away with a yelp. Sirius laughed and made the fire vanish with a swish of his wand. The table was unharmed. James glared at Sirius. “What is there to use?” he asked and turned back to Remus. “They’re all ‘Don’ts.”

“Not the second one.”

He rolled his eyes. “So, how do I use them?”

“Do as they tell you to.”

“Which is everything I can’t do,” he muttered, “like ignoring her. I mean, who wants to be ignored? I’m pretty sure not even Eva-”

“Stop for a second, Prongs,” Remus cut him off and put a finger to his lips, thinking. “Of course! It’s exactly what she wants.”

“To be ignored?” questioned James.

“Idiot,” Sirius muttered. The others ignored him.

Remus rolled his eyes. “No, idiot. Attention. She really doesn't want it from you”

“Well, I’m sure it’ll help a lot if I ignore her.” He let the sarcasm drip.

Remus sighed. “How much of a brain is there in that head of yours? No, I meant that I’m sure she likes the attention you give her. What would she say if it suddenly wasn’t there?”

James shrugged. “No idea.”

Remus smiled, “And that’s our fifth point to the list. Padfoot?”

Sirius ducked down in his bag to find the list.

“What, you want me to be ignorant?”

“No, just. . .”

~
5. Don’t give her all your attention.
~

“This is so not going to work,” James muttered as he walked a long way behind Lily and Sarah after Charms.

“Sure it is,” Remus said and stuffed the book into James’ hands. “Just go and give it to her. No talking to Lily. Remember!”

James rolled his eyes and caught up with the two girls. Remus disappeared. “Hey!”

Both Lily and Sarah turned. Lily looked at James, annoyed. “What now, Potter?”

James looked between the girls, “Err. . .”

“Not now, Potter,” Lily said, annoyed. “I’ve got no time for you right now.”

“Um,” James said, looking shortly at Lily then at Sarah. “In fact, I just wanted to give this to you, Sarah.” He held out the book. “You left it in the classroom.” That was a lie. He and Remus had stolen it just so he would have an excuse to talk to Sarah instead of Lily. Sarah took it slowly.

“Um, thanks, James,” she said with a smile. “I hadn’t realized I’d left it.”

“You’re welcome,” he said, not even looking at Lily again. “So, I’ll see you at Quidditch practice tonight?”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m always there, James.”

“Just checking. Later.”

He waved at Sarah before walking off. Remus, Sirius, and Peter met him around another corner other than the one the girls turned.

“Lily was so confused!” Sirius said, excited.

“She’d no idea what was going on!” Peter grinned.

“You can do this, Prongs,” Remus ended it with a smug smile.

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