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The next day, Lily exited from her Ancient Runes class and headed for the Great Hall. She read her book as she walked. Lily was rather confused with things.

First, Lupin was rather weak these days. He always looked pale and peaky. He also sometimes has this look like he’s gonna vomit or something. Other times, he doesn’t respond at an instant as if he was suffering from something.

Second, Potter was acting weird. A few days ago, he told her to take care. Take care? For what? He became rather quiet and absorbed in something ever since the Quidditch match. Also, Lily caught him reading in the library and the book itself was rather questionable. Werewolves? Why was he interested?

And lastly, one night, Lily felt she was out of bed but when she woke up…she was still in bed…what’s that about?

She saw Lupin walking towards her way. He looked sick again and he was clutching his abdomen as if he was in great pain. He was twitching and he breathed heavily. Lily approached him.

“Remus?” she asked. Lupin looked at her and with no warning, he collapsed.

“LUPIN!” Lily screamed as she tried to help him up. “Help! Help!” she cried. Just then, she heard footsteps and saw James Potter rushing towards them.


“Don’t say it…I know,” he said as he lifted Lupin by the shoulders and rushed towards the Hospital Wing. Lily followed them and watched Lupin’s face. His face was pale and he was cold…

“Madam Pomfrey!” Lily exclaimed as they entered the Hospital Wing, “Madam Pomfrey, we need your help!”

Madam Pomfrey looked alarmed when she saw Lupin. James lifted Lupin unto the bed while Madam Pomfrey rummaged her cabinet for a potion. James stood beside a worried-sick Lily. She was sobbing as she stared at Lupin. What was happening to him? Feeling she couldn’t take it anymore, Lily ran out of the Hospital Wing. James threw a last look at Lupin, and then he followed Lily. He found her sobbing. She was seated on a bench outside, tears glistened on her face.

James sat down beside her. She seemed to have not noticed for she still cried. James couldn’t bear to see her crying so he placed an arm on her shoulder. Lily felt slightly comforted the moment he held her shoulder. She cried unto his shoulder. She poured out all her fears and worries on his shoulder. James didn’t complain. He stroke her red hair as she clung to him as if holding out for dear life.

Giving up to temptation, James placed his other arm around her and hugged her tightly. Lily continued to cry on his shoulder and didn’t care if he did. She really wanted to hold unto someone who would never leave her.

James walked inside the Gryffindor common room to find Sirius entertaining his ‘fans’ and they were all girls. Sirius saw his best mate come in.

“Alright ladies, time for me to fly. My best mate has just arrived and being the loyal sidekick I am, I shall depart and come to his aid. Don’t fret girls, there’s still tomorrow,” he said and blew kisses at them, “Bye-bye girls.” James rolled his eyes as headed upstairs and he heard Sirius following.

“What’s up Prongs?” he said. Then he noticed James’ wet shoulder…

“Er…Prongs, I know that it’s normal to spill water down your front but I never realized it can spill on your shoulder…”

“Moony fainted,” James said shortly, “and I had to help him. And this,” he said indicating his shoulder, “is not water but tears fresh from Lily’s eyes.” Sirius howled with amusement.

“Cut it out Padfoot,” James said, irritated, “This is serious! Be matured for once in your life!”

Sirius smirked. “For a moment there, you had me thinking Evans hypnotized you or something. Alright, I’m taking it seriously just don’t bring Evan’s presence here…scares me.” James sighed. He had to tell Sirius the news.

“Moony’s in the Hospital Wing. He’s being attacked by his sickness again,” James said, “I brought him up there when Lily screamed.” Sirius widened his eyes in shock.

“Moony got attacked again?” he asked, “Whoa, I’m getting really worried here Prongs. Evans still doesn’t know about Lupin and she’s bound to follow him now. She’ll always be beside him after that. What if she follows him on a full moon?”

James fidgeted. That was true…

“And you know what surprised me the most?”


“The fact that you helped Moony,” Sirius said, “I thought you were mad at him. What’s with the change of heart?”

“Well…I am somehow sort of mad at him…but after all we’ve been thru…do you think I’d leave Moony like that?” James replied. Sirius shook his head. “Moony’s still my friend…I’m just not talking to him.”

“Nice, like a hero,” said Sirius. But he knew it was right…

“I’m going to our dormitory, wanna join me?” James asked. Sirius nodded his head and both boys went to their dormitory.

Lily went inside the Hospital Wing. Her eyes were red and puffy from all the crying. She approached the bed where Lupin lay. His eyes were closed and his face was serene but pale. She sat beside his bed.

Lily held his hand. She felt him move. Lupin slowly opened his eyes when he felt her hand. He saw her and smiled weakly.

“How are you?” she asked.

“Hmm… I feel fine I guess,” Lupin replied. Lily smiled at him and held his hand tighter. Lupin looked at her and studied her face.

“Your eyes are red, have you been crying?” he asked. Lily nodded her head. Lupin patted her shoulder and grinned at her. “Don’t, it spoils your beauty,” he said. Lily laughed. Just then, she remembered something.

“It was Potter who brought you here,” she said. Lupin’s eyes widened.

“Really?” he asked.

“Yeah, he helped you up here,”

Lupin didn’t speak at first. So James helped him. That must’ve meant something. Was James not mad at him anymore or did he help Lupin just to impress Lily? No wonder he felt someone lifting him on his shoulders and helping him end up here.

“Remus? Remus?”

Lupin snapped out and realized that Lily was looking at him.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine…”

Lily sighed. “At least, he still had a heart. I thought he wouldn’t help me…” she said, “He’s not a selfish prat after all…”

“James has never been selfish,” Lupin said, “He’s just disturbed most of the time, believe me, I know.” Lily giggled. Lupin smiled and he felt light. Hearing Lily’s laughter seemed to have worked an unspoken magic on him.

James walked past the chattering crowd. He wanted to go straight to the library to learn more advises for his problem. Many people were amazed when they saw him enter the library again. It wasn’t a normal sight to see James Potter in the library and it wasn’t normal to see him there regularly.

James sat again on his usual table and began to read again. He took out his quill and scribbled them down on the parchment.


James looked up and saw Lily looking down at him, three books on one arm, her bag on another. She looked surprised when she saw him.

“Evans,” James said, “Always at the tone of surprises…”

Lily sat down opposite him and laid all her things on the table. She tried to see what he was researching but James covered it. She cleared her throat.

“Potter, I’d like to thank you for what you allowed me to do on your shoulder yesterday,” she said sincerely, “I appreciate the act.”

“It’s no biggie, I mean, I’m used to getting wet anyway,” he said. Lily observed him. He seemed to have matured but why and how? Since when? It wasn’t normal for him to be mature.

James stood up and placed his quill and parchment inside his bag. He closed his book and picked it up.

“Excuse me Evans,” he said, “I should be going now. We shouldn’t be talking in the library, even a prefect like Lupin knows that.” After that, he left without another word and left her dumbfounded.

“Potter, wait!” Lily called out as he followed him outside. James stopped but his back was still at her.

“What?” he asked.

“Why are you acting like this? I can’t understand…you’re not like this. You’ve changed…you really have…what’s the matter? Is there anything that happened to you?” she asked.

“Nothing,” he said, “Don’t mind me…”

“Potter, please,” Lily said, “Tell me why you’re acting like this.” James didn’t answer for a moment. Lily was really interested with his new attitude. He laughed.

“Evans, I can’t believe you,” he said, “you still don’t know? Why, it’s quite obvious isn’t it? I’m doing this for you…like you requested before.”

“Potter…if you think this will-“

“-bring you to me and leave Lupin? No, that’s not what I think. I’m not selfish…when you love a person; even if that person has already another one…you’d do anything for them. I’m sure you’d do the same thing. I still have a heart, Evans, I’m not a monster,” James replied. Lily approached him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Thank you,” she said. James faced her and saw her eyes; they were sincere and true. James bent down and kissed her forehead. He lifted her face and stared at those almond-shaped emerald eyes…and kissed her. Lily felt out of this world as she gave in to him. They kissed sweetly and quite long…long enough before both of them realized what they were doing. They jumped apart with shock.

“Er…I better go now…” James said uneasily and quickly departed. Lily could feel her face reddening and she could feel the heavy surge of guilt rushing thru her veins. Without a word, she ran back to the common room. When she arrived, she rushed to her dormitory and slammed the door shut. She jumped on her bed.

“Why…did…I…do…THAT?!” she exclaimed to the invisible wind. She hit herself with her pillow.

“Why? Why? Why?” she asked as she continually hit herself. The guilt was now burdening her. She felt so immoral…so dirty…so imperfect…she felt like a traitor.

She and Lupin were still in a relationship then here she was, kissing James Potter like they were in love or something. Lily couldn’t understand what made her give in to him. Surely, he didn’t do anything to her…did he?

“Ugh…I feel so humiliated,” she said, “Why did I do that? Wasn’t I in my right mind or am I-?” she stopped and realized something…


Lily stood up and watched the people down from her window. There, she saw him, walking silently towards the Quidditch pitch. Sirius came and held his shoulder. Peter came along and went by his side but Lily was focused only at him. She watched his handsome profile as he walked, the wind sweeping his jet-black hair. From a distance, she could still see the shine in his hazel eyes…

She gasped.

“Am…am I really? Am I really falling for James Potter?”

A/N: Oh my, Lily’s confused. Is she really falling for James Potter, which she swore would never happen in her life? Well, things could always change. I just sure hope Lily knows what she’s doing or she’s going to have a bumpy roller coaster ride.

Ah love…what is it with love that makes it bittersweet?


-lily_ginny47 (JuNieL) – my other name…

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