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James felt himself stirring. His head felt painful and he was rather dizzy. He heard murmuring around him. He opened his eyes.

“Prongs!” Sirius exclaimed, “Everyone, he’s awake!”

He heard rumbling and saw people gathering by his side.

“My glasses,” James murmured. Someone handed him his glasses and everyone came to focus. Most of them were members of the Quidditch team. He heard voices outside and he thought he heard girls.

“How’re you Prongs?” Sirius asked.

“I’m okay, Padfoot,” he answered. Sirius sighed in relief and so did the others.

“We thought you were gonna die,” Anna said, “You fell from your broom.”

“Goyle! I’m gonna kill both him and Malfoy…” Sirius said thru gritted teeth. James gazed at his surroundings; somehow, he had not found words to speak.

“Professor McGonagall was really worried but Evans beat her. She went berserk when she saw you fall-“

“Evans?” James asked, “Lily Evans?”

“Know any other Evans?” Sirius asked with a smirk, “Anyways, Evans was rather panicky but I assured her you weren’t dead. She came to see you moments ago.” James felt rather light at these words. Lily visited him moments ago…

“Where’s she?” James asked.

“Probably at the common room. She went out with Lupin already,” said Peter. Sirius suddenly gave him a stern look. Peter’s words hit James like a cold stone. Lily went out with Lupin. At first, James imagined Lily crying over his unconscious body but now, he imagined Lily just glancing at him then exiting with Lupin.

“Prongs? Uh…you still awake?” Sirius asked, waving a hand in front of his friend. James blinked and looked at the people surrounding him. Right now, he felt as if he wasn’t really that happy to see them all.




-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“One more?” Lily asked, nudging the spoon in front of Lupin.

“No thanks, I feel too queasy to eat but thanks for feeding me,” Lupin replied, pushing away the spoon. Lily frowned as she set aside the bowl.

“You sure?” she asked.

“Very sure,” Lupin replied with a laugh. Lily smiled and nudged closer to Remus. Lupin can smell the flowery scent of her hair as she moved closer to him. He smiled but also frowned. Lily noticed.

“Anything wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing, don’t mind me,” he replied. Lily gazed at his eyes. Lupin stared back at her and felt himself got lost in her eyes.

Lily stood up and saw the clock: ten o’ clock.

“I have to go now. I have many things to do tomorrow,” she announced, “You want to sleep now?” she asked him.

Lupin smiled. “You go ahead, I don’t feel sleepy today. You go on,” he said. Lily kissed his cheek and he kissed hers in return. She bid him goodnight and went to bed. Lupin was left alone in the common room, alone in his thoughts. He rubbed his forehead.

“I knew this would happen, the moment I decided to date her. I knew it,” he said, “I didn’t expect this and I didn’t want this to happen. All I wanted to do was to lift Lily of her misery but it seems I’ve fallen under her spell too…” he watched the fire cackle, “This can’t happen. I swore to myself that if James finally cleans up, I’d make a break with Lily and get reconciled with Prongs. But now…


I feel like I don’t want to let go of Lily…”


Lupin stood up and watched the fire. He thought deeply.

“If only I’m a selfish person, I would never give Lily to James. I’d take her for myself and never let her go. After all, what could go wr-,” but he realized, “Wait…Lily doesn’t know I’m a werewolf. We can’t be together…I may kill her or harm her…but I love her…I don’t want to give her to James.”

Lupin watched the moon outside the window. “A month before a full moon. Should I tell Lily? But what if she doesn’t accept me for that? Maybe I shouldn’t tell her…I can keep it a secret…damn! Why do things have to be so hard?! Why?! Why can’t I be selfish? Why do I still feel guilty?!”

His eyes stared at the stairs.


“Lily…I’ve fallen for you…is it right for me to do so?”


-----000----0000----000----000----

James stretched his arms as he returned to the common room, late at night. He felt rather stronger than moments ago. He didn’t feel too much pain anymore. He entered the room and saw no one as he expected. He sighed because he didn’t feel too good at all.

Just then, he heard some footsteps and wondered who was awake. As he stepped closer to the staircase leading to the dormitories, he caught a glimpse of someone walking down the stairs. He grabbed his wand and pointed it.

“Lumos,”


The tip of his wand produced light and James learned who the person was…

“Lily?”

Lily Evans was in her nightdress, sleepwalking. Her eyes were closed and her hair was on her face. She was walking towards him unknowingly to her.

“Help…help…” she kept on murmuring, “Help…help…” then she stopped in front of James, her eyes still closed. “Help…help…help…”

“Help? Help who?” James asked.

“Help…help…” she said and all of a sudden, she collapsed in his arms yet still fast asleep. James held her tight as he watched her serene face. He pushed a stray hair.

“Help…help…” she murmured, “Help…help…”

“Lily, I’m here…” he said, “Lily, what do you need?”

“Help…help…Moony…Moony…danger…” she murmured. James was surprised. How on earth did she know Moony? Yeah, she knew Lupin but Lupin’s Marauder name?

“Don’t leave me,” Lily murmured then she became quiet. James stared at her as he held her in his arms.

“Lily, I won’t ever leave you,” he said to her, “You remember that…” he kissed her forehead and carried her upstairs. As he quietly opened the door, he silently stepped inside and placed Lily back on her bed. As he was about to let go, her arms suddenly held tight around his neck.

“Don’t…leave…me,” she said. James pulled away from her and silently crept out of the dormitory. Outside, he leaned on the door.

“I never left you Lily…you did,” he said.



--------------------------------------

Lily rubbed her eyes. She couldn’t remember what happened last night but she was sure she was out of bed. As she stepped out of her dormitory down to the common room, she saw James on one couch, fast asleep. His glasses were askew and one hand was on his forehead. Lily thought what he did last night to make him sleep outside.

“Must be a new trend,” she said as she headed outside.

She walked past the chatting students and headed for the Great Hall. Sirius and Lupin were already there, eating their breakfast.

“Good morning,” she greeted them.

“Morning,” Lupin replied, smiling at her.

“Morning Evans. Have you seen James?” Sirius asked.

“He was asleep on the couch, didn’t you see him?”

Sirius thought. “No, I was too busy hurrying for breakfast I didn’t notice him,” he said, “I wonder what time he got out of the Hospital Wing. He didn’t even tell me he’d be getting out in the evening. Poor guy, he’s been thru a lot already and this is what he gets.” Lily felt rather guilty and she looked at Lupin who continued eating his muffin.

After breakfast, Lupin and Lily hanged out at the Quidditch pitch. They walked thru the grassy field and talked about a lot of things.

“I used to stick gum behind my ears when I was seven,” said Lily, “That’s something. How about you?”

“Me? Well, I used to chase rats and whack them with a stick but when I get too soft, I kept them as pets,” Lupin said. Lily laughed and Lupin grinned.

“I hate brushing my hair during mornings,”

“I hate being disturbed when I’m studying for Transfiguration…”

“I love Potions,”

“I hate it…” Lupin said.

Lily smiled. Even though she and Lupin didn’t have many things in common, she found it easy to love him. She watched him as he walked, the sun beaming on his face. He had a calm and determined face. Yeah, Potter was much good-looking but Lupin was rather much soft. He ran a hand thru his sandy-colored hair. She noticed he looked rather peaky. Was he sick again?


Lupin noticed her.

“Anything wrong?’

“Nothing, don’t mind me. I was just staring at the sunshine,” said Lily. He smiled as they continued walking.

James watched them behind the window. Lily seemed to enjoy Lupin’s company. She often smiled and laughed as they walked together. James could feel his insides burning and twisting uncomfortably.

“Prongs?”

James turned and saw Sirius with Peter.

“Hey, you wanna take a walk, you know, get some fresh air?” Sirius asked.

“Nah, better not risk it,” James said. Peter went beside him and also gazed outside the window. Sirius followed and did the same thing.

“Oh, I understand,” said Sirius as he watched Lupin and Lily. James frowned as he continued watching them. Lily looked so happy with Lupin by her side. Would James make her that happy too?

“You know what?” Peter asked,

“What?”

“I think Lily doesn’t know something,” he said.

“What are you talking about Wormtail?” Sirius asked. Peter nudged uncomfortably.

“Well…I reckon Lily doesn’t know that Lupin’s a…well…a werewolf,” Peter said, “I mean, I think Moony would’ve not yet told her about it,”

“You’re right!” Sirius exclaimed, “I bet Moony would never tell Evans about it. But she’s bound to know anyway but maybe it’s too late when she does.”

James thought. That’s right, he thought, Lily doesn’t have a clue on Moony’s identity as a werewolf. Suddenly, fear came rushing inside him. It became a routine for Lupin to leave Hogwarts and enter the Shrieking Shack for him to transform but Lily’s bound to worry and follow him…

“Should we tell her?” Sirius asked.

Should they? If they did, there are two possibilities. It’s either Lily accepts Lupin for who he is or she’d dump him for being a werewolf and hiding it from her. James considered the second possibility to be a dream come true because he’d have a chance with Lily…but it’ll break Lupin’s heart.

But Lupin was his friend. They’ve been thru thick and thin for the last five years. Even though he was mad at Lupin, he can’t help but think of what would happen to Lupin. Sure, he loved Lily…but Lupin was still his friend.


“No,” he said shortly.

Sirius and Peter were stunned.

“What?”

“No, we’re not telling Evans about it. We’ll let Moony do that,” James said.

“But Prongs, Evans could-“

“I don’t want Evans to think I’m doing this to get her back…I’m doing this for Moony’s sake,” he said and turned to exit the dormitory, leaving the other two confused.


As James went down the stairs, he met someone who was headed opposite his direction. He looked.

“Moony,” he addressed the person. Lupin was surprised when James addressed him.

“Prongs,” he said. James continued going down the stairs, leaving Lupin speechless and awestruck. James walked past the chatting and giggling girls as he walked out of the portrait hole. There stood Lily who was waiting for Lupin.

“Evans,” James said. Lily was surprised to see him but she kept herself casual.

“Potter,” she acknowledged.

“Nice day we’re having,” he said.

“Yes, it is,” she said rather coldly. James could feel the coldness in her voice.

“Well…I better…go now,” he said.

“Yes you better do,” she replied. James walked again and stopped his back to her.

“Take care of yourself,” he said and walked away from her. Lily looked at him and wondered what it meant. Take care?

“Lily?”

Lily turned and saw Lupin.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah I am,” she said. Weird, she thought, was Potter alright?


-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Lily was reading a Transfiguration book in the library. She needed it for her homework, which was due the next day.

She sat on a nearby table with only one occupant. She was busy reading her book she didn’t notice the person. The person, on his side, was also busy reading. Lily shifted her eyes on the person and was shocked.

What was James Potter doing in the library? Was he following her? But he didn’t look as if he was following someone. He was deeply absorbed in his book that he seemed to have not noticed her. He was reading something.

James noticed that someone was looking at him. He looked up and saw Lily.

“Evans,” James said.
“Potter, what are you doing here?” Lily whispered.

“Why, is it illegal for me to read?” James asked.

“I didn’t say that. I was merely asking why you are here since it’s not common for me to see you here,” she replied in her defense.

“Oh, well now you know that I can read too,” James whispered back and his eyes went back to his book. Lily felt kind of hurt with what he said. Why was he being sarcastic?

James closed his book and stood up. He took his ink, quill and parchment and stuffed it inside his bag.

“See you then Evans,” he said and left. Lily was stunned. James was acting quite differently ever since he woke up in the Hospital Wing. Lily pulled the book he was reading to see what he was looking up.

“Dreams and their Advises?” Lily asked as she read the title. She flipped the pages back to the particular page he was reading. “Werewolf dreams? Disguised werewolf dreams? What, is he dreaming about werewolves?” she asked. She read the rest of the page.

“It’s about dreaming of people who turn into werewolves…why is Potter looking this up? I mean, we’re in the same classes but I don’t remember ever having an assignment related to this…what is he up to?” Lily asked.


=============================

James studied what he had written. It was filled with advises he had copied from the book in the library.


”Lily dreamt of Moony, that’s for sure,” he muttered, “She must’ve saw him in his werewolf form…but she has no memory of it I guess.” He continued to read what he had written. The door swung open and James quickly hid the parchment under his pillow. Lupin had entered.

“I thought you were asleep,” Lupin said, surprised to see James still awake.

“Well…I’m thinking,” James replied coldly, “and when I think, I can’t sleep.” Then he lay down and punched his pillow, “Now, I’m ready to sleep.” He removed his glasses and placed them on the table beside his bed. Lupin shrugged and went to his bed. After that, the lights went off but James’ eyes were still open.


“I have got to do something fast,” he thought, “or else both Lupin and Lily will get hurt when the full moon comes…I just hope I have the courage to do it…”



A/N: That is tough. I mean you don’t know what to do when a full moon comes…how hard is that? I just hope James knows what he’s doing or everything will be a fiasco. But he’s sweet isn’t he? He’s not mad at Lupin anymore…he’s even concerned! He’s such a good friend. Well…maybe things will turn out alright in the next chapter…

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