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She was Afraid to Say It

Chapter One


Disclaimer: Any recognizable characters, spells, plots and places do not belong to me. They are J.K Rowling’s and I am merely writing about them for my own and hopefully your entertainment. I am not being paid.

R&R

Rain pittered and pattered against the windows of the corridor which was crowded with Hogwart's more experienced students. As most of the advanced classes took place at the end of the day, many sixth and seventh years were bustling about the four corridors towards the left end of the school, carrying small cauldrons, spell books and wands in their hands. Amongst the crowd stood a very uncomfortable looking red haired girl who was struggling to balance three school books, a cauldron which was too small to fit the ridiculously large books inside of it, and a wand in her outstretched hands.

She was a pretty girl, not gorgeous or a girl who would stick out in your mind as being truly beautiful, but she was pretty. She had tanned skin and long, dark, choppy red hair that fell a little below her shoulders. She had a perfect set of pearly white teeth which were all perfectly aligned in her mouth which were surrounded by full, pink lips which were nearly always curled into a smile. However, the most intriguing thing about Lily Evans were her set of incredibly bright, unique, green eyes which were the most elaborate shade of green there ever was.

To her misfortune, a particularily large Slytherin boy who had a pudding basin hair cut had chosen that moment to slam into her and had knocked her, and all of her neatly positioned books and cauldron which she had tried to shift in the middle of the hallway, and she crashed to the ground with the defeaning clang of metal on marble.

"Head Girl, you are not so smart," said the jeering voice of a boy she knew all too well. She looked up to see a black haired boy with a hooked nose smiling down at her, he offered her his hand and helped her to her feet. "Had you not thought of the charm that makes things weightless? Or were you trying to get pipes like mine?" He flexed and revealed that he, himself had no muscle. Lily jokingly grabbed around his arm which she could easily touch her finger to her thumb and smiled.

"Oh, yes, Sev," she said with a laugh. She retrieved her wand from the floor and sarcastically waved it around a few times, unintentionally a few sparks flew from the end of her wand. "Oh, I don't think I can manage, oh wise one. Please, perform the charm for me," she bowed at his shoes, which were grubby and worn.

"As you wish, Mistress Evans," he waved his wand dramatically and the books levitated and floated dreamily behind the pair who were advancing on the opposite end of the corridor. Lily grabbed his hand, she felt it twitch a little for the first ten seconds and then he seemed to relax, his shoulders fell from being uptight and he smiled at her. She squeezed his hand affectionately and resumed walking, her head resting on his shoulder and their fingers entwined.

The pair hadn't been dating for very long, actually they had been in a feud, Lily refused to talk to Severus who tried many different tactics in which involved many seemingly impossible things. Many of which involved sneaking into the Gryffindor common room, which to this day Lily never found out how he did so.

For Severus had called Lily something that she will never forget, infact Lily sometimes wished Severus had Obliviated her that day, so she didn't have to remember it whenever someone else was called it. Mudblood was a term most respectable witches and wizards avoided using, for it was the only wizarding swear word that really offended people, and it could only offend certain people. Those born of Muggle heritage, some could argue it was considered a racist term.

After two years of endless appologising and serenating and pleading, Lily had finally given in to Severus. She believed he was sincerely sorry, for she thought she had seen him crying one afternoon when she had refused him entrance to the common room.

However, now, after two months of awkward dating, Lily was trying to slip in some affectionate moves, she was obviously a little braver then he, she being a Gryffindor and all. However, she was not brave about one thing. One big thing. She wanted their dating a secret, Merlin knows what would happen if word got out that Lily Evans, Gryffindor, Head Girl, was dating Severus Snape, a Slytherin.

 

Severus stopped at the window ceil at the end of the corridor and looked helplessly out the window, the rain had not let up a bit. The two were planning a picnic for dinner instead of the usual Great Hall arrangements. It was hard, them being so far apart. As the two Houses were endless rivals they couldn't join eachother's table. Especially if they wanted to keep it quiet.

Lily smiled sadly and looked up into his dark, nearly black eyes. He had changed so much in two years, he looked so much healthier, though still quite pale the yellow tinge to his skin had disappeared, and he had even gotten himself a set of decent Muggle clothes for the summertime and casual wear on the weekends.

He smiled down, even his teeth were considerably whiter. There was a certain glow about him that she just couldn't quite put her finger on. He reached up and touched her cheek, something so simple felt so incredibly intimate. He pushed the mass of red hair from her face and cupped her cheeks in his hands, he had never gone so far before. Lily quivered a little, but urged him to go on. She had never felt so ... loved.

He pressed his cold, thin lips to her warm, full ones. He pressed his face against hers for what seemed an eternity before pulling apart, it wasn't long enough for Lily's liking. She sighed, and put her hands through his hair, which was no longer greasy and matted but silky and smooth. She pulled the back of his face towards her and nibbled on his bottom lip, he gasped.

She pulled away from him abruptly, she thought she heard footsteps advancing on them. She couldn't afford to be caught with Severus, it was selfish and cruel but she just wasn't ready. Maybe when she graduated she would voice it a little more, but not now. Not at school where there were ignorant and immature teenagers who were so narrow minded that a couple in different Houses was just unheard of.

She was right, but it was a false alarm, a little third year girl who was barely half the height of Severus skipped past them and eyed Severus skeptically. Lily gave the girl a stern look, she was a Hufflepuff judging by her uniform, and they were usually easily frightened. The girl snapped her head back so quickly it was a wonder how it didn't fall off. She stopped skipping and started at a run down the corridor, not looking back.

With a giggle, Lily grabbed Severus' hand and squeezed again. He smiled at her, apparently more relaxed with the situation. He had seemed nervous, kissing her, she didn't want him to be nervous. Though, the innoncence in his eyes when he looked at her was intriguing, she loved that, she loved him. Lily Evans was in love with Severus Snape.But she was afraid to say it.

 

She had never actually said it, besides to herself, she had never told Severus that she loved him. Now was possibly the perfect time to say it, but something was telling her now was not the time. Lily was not your average girl, she wanted to tell Severus she loved him in the perfect atmosphere, when surely they would be alone.

 

Though, she had just given him her first kiss, and she was positive she just received his. She wasn't ready, not yet.

After a few moments of silence, trying not to appear rude, Lily glimpsed the time on her Muggle wristwatch, Severus didn't seem to notice. He was too naive too realize it was usually a rude gesture when one checked the time on their date during an awkward silence. It was a quarter past seven, which meant they were fifteen minutes late for dinner.

"We've missed dinner," she said.

"I'm not hungry anyways," Severus said. He apparently had wanted to get back to kissing, she could see it in his eyes.

"Well, I've got an idea. I don't know if you'd want to do it though," Lily said a little mysteriously, Severus widened his eyes. Exactly the reaction she was looking for.

"Oh, really. I can tell by your tone, this is something against the rules," Severus grinned.

"Just a little bit," Lily said, pinching her thumb and forefinger together and squinting tightly. Despite her responsibility as Head Girl, Lily found herself breaking the rules frequently, though the rules were loosened a little because of her title of Head Girl, she was still doing things that could result in at the least suspension.

"Do go on," Severus urged, he had a look of pure excitement on his pale face now.

"Well, see, I'd followed Potter once when I was sixteen, check what he was doing, and get this!" She paused for effect, but at the mention of James Severus cringed. They had never gotten along, infact that's what Lily and Severus' feud was over. Lily was trying to help Severus and out of pure embarrassment he had called her that horrible word.

"Yes, yes?"

 

"There's a secret passage to Honeyduke's cellar! In the school!" Lily said excitedly.

"No way," Severus said quietly.

"Yes! We can go and eat dinner in Hogsmeade! At Madam Puddifoot's! Wouldn't that be so romantic!"

"But - but what if we get caught?" he sound apprehensive.

"I'm Head, remember? If we get caught we can blame it on me, seeing as this would be my first offense -- that they know of -- then they'll get me off with a detention or maybe a warning if we're lucky."

"Well, it's getting late. Wouldn't you rather visiting Hogsmeade when everything's open?"

"I guess that's true. Honeydukes closes at half past eight, it takes a while to get through the tunnel," Lily was a little disappointed, but when she considered all things, it was much easier to get caught at night then it was in the afternoon. Even without four sevenths of Hogwarts bustling about, Hogsmeade was always packed, and as Lily and Severus were both eighteen now they would blend in easily.

"Well, then what do you want to do tonight, Lily flower?" asked Severus and he took her hand again, Lily giggled a little.

"I'm not sure, what did you have in mind, Sev?"

Severus squirmed and turned red. Lily raised her eyebrows. "What's wrong?" asked an alarmed Lily. "Are you sick?"

Severus laughed a nervous laugh. "No, no..."

"Then what?"

"I was wondering, if, well. We're both eighteen. We're almost out of school. D'you want to try - something?" Lily laughed out loud, which Severus had apparently taken as rude this time. He was obviously in an embarrassed, uncomfortable state, but the innocence in his tone made Lily laugh. The poor boy was eighteen and hadn't done anything yet. Come to think of it, neither had Lily.

"Severus," she said quietly, "are you -- are you sure you're -- ready?"

"Look, Lily, I don't want to sound like a pig, but I've loved you for so long, and I've decided that tonight will be special. And -- well, what's more special then giving up something you can never get back to the one girl you know you're going to be with until the end of the world?" Lily almost cried at his speech. A tear trickled out of her eye and she nodded.

It was a quiet, awkward journey to where ever they were going, surely Severus wasn't going to take her to his own bed? Without objection she followed him down many twisting and curving corridors until he stopped dead at a wall which was adorned in portraits except for one particularily large blank spot that went from the floor to the ceiling.

"Severus -- ?" she began, but it was too late. A door was slowly forming itself onto the wall, it was a large, elegant looking door with many patterns and a silver knocker. "What -- what is this?" She studied the door that she had just believed to be an empty space of wall, perhaps she was hallucinating, she had forgotten this was Hogwarts, and many strange things could happen.

"The Room of Requirement. It only shows itself to someone who is in great need of it. I wanted a beautiful bedroom, and so that's what form it will take. So, Lily, if you're sure you're ready..."

"I am, I am," she heard herself say. Without further ado, Severus swung open the door and allowed Lily to enter first. Curtsying sarcastically, she entered the bedroom and gasped.

It was a small, but elegant room with a large bed in the corner. It was a water bed, she could tell by how it seemed to wriggle every few moments, or perhaps that was some kind of strange magic. The bed must have been larger then a king sized mattress which she was used to sleeping on at home. The sheets were a mix of red and green, undoubtedly Slytherin and Gryffindor put together, it didn't look the least bit like Christmas.

There was a small, round table in the opposite corner, two stools and a Firewhiskey bottle resting on the surface, two champagne glasses waiting to be filled. Severus grinned as he looked around the extravagent room, it was safe to say it was even more beautiful then the Head's dormitories. She was impressed.

Severus made his way to the Firewhiskey and poured the contents into each of the glasses to the brim. Firewhiskey was a strong, alcohol, Lily knew from past experiences, and she was sure she didn't want to relive them. Horrible stories reached her ears the next morning when she was sober. Apparently, a fifteen year old James Potter and his partners in crime thought it would be very funny to fill Lily's water bottle with half a bottle of Firewhiskey.

"Now, now, I don't want you or I getting drunk, Sev. I want to remember this." Severus grinned and tipped half of the contents in his glass to the floor, the stain disappeared as instantly as it came. He gulped down his glass and then cringed. Apparently Severus had never drank before, his eyes were squinted and he was biting those thin lips of his.

"That's horrible!" he gasped, clutching his throat. "It's burning!"

"Silly, Severus. You're supposed to sip it, not gulp it all down in one go!" Lily laughed as she casually sipped her own drink, a little burning sensation trickling down her throat and leaving a pleasant, stinging sensation in her stomach.

"So," Severus said awkwardly. Lily smiled. She was trying to make herself appear confident, she had heard confidence was the sexiest thing about a girl. She began with putting her arms around his neck, she could feel the hairs standing on end. He was nervous, and so was she.

She pressed her lips against his, and he put his hands awkwardly on her ass. She had the slight temptation to hit them away, but remembered he would be doing much more to her tonight. She pushed her tongue into his mouth, and after a few seconds of awkwardly avoiding the other's tongue they began to wrestle, and all nervousness forgotten.

Severus pulled her towards the bed until he fell backwards onto it, her still ontop of him. It's definately a waterbed, Lily thought to herself as the bed jiggled under their weight. Still kissing him, Lily began to fumble with his robes' silver clasps. As they finally parted she broke their lips apart and she pulled the robe off of him to reveal a simple button up black shirt and blue jeans.

"Damn you for wearing buttons on a night like this," she said jokingly and Severus laughed.

"Well, it wasn't exactly planned," he said truthfully. "Hey, hey, not so fast," he said as she was halfway up his shirt, revealing a strip of white stomach. He reached up and struggled with her clasps to her robe and pulled it off her to reveal a simple orange and white striped polo. It went well with her hair, he pulled it off her without any objection.

"Hey, now who's going too fast?" she ripped the shirt off of him hastily, not caring that the buttons all flew off in different directions. With a simple wave of her wand the buttons would be once more intact with the shirt. But neither she or he was quite worried about that right now.

Severus seemed to feel a bit awkward when he struggled with the hooks of her vibrant orange bra. Lily felt a little self conscious, in all honestly she wasn't as -- developed there as many of Hogwarts' female population was.

"Fuck," Severus whispered when the bra finally yielded to him. He lay back down and oggled at her for a few moments.

"Hey, Sevvy, don't you get all potty mouth on me," she said as she began to undo his pants.

---

The both lay panting on the bed, both stark naked and sweating like pigs. Lily lay ontop of Severus whose chest was heaving rapidly. It was the most sensational and painful thing she had endured in her life. Blood stained the sheets but it didn't matter much because other bodily fluids were covering the sheets aswell.

"Severus," Lily panted. Severus raised his head and propped it on his elbow. He was grinning stupidly from ear to ear.

"Yes?"

"I love you."

 


If you liked it, review.

If you didn't, constructive critism is welcomed.

Thanks for your time.

x

Humdinger<3

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